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Cutting losses and moving on

Friday, June 01, 2012

In September, the light of my life Mike passed away very unexpectedly from a massive heart attack. Since then Iíve had trouble picking myself up and getting back to some semblance of normal life. I over-estimated my ability to move on after a life changing event like this and only took a couple of days off from work. I went back - not wanting to stay home with my thoughts, memories, and reminders of times past.

Teaching the ďchallengingĒ classes I had this year kept my mind off my sorrow at first. From the beginning of the year, this was the school year from hell . My students were difficult, not just for me, but for everyone who taught them. With classroom management a tough task all the time, this year was particularly overwhelming. I tried to tough it out, but it was more than I could handle. There are times when you have to cut your losses and move on for the good of all Ė the students and me. In late April, I asked for a medical leave of absence for the rest of the year, and it was approved. My assistant principal was absolutely wonderful through it all. Iím glad his background was in counseling and not PE!

It took a while before the decision I made sank in. Last week, my son made the comment that I was finally starting to act like I actually didnít have to go back until August. I was cooking more (and you know thatís why he noticed), smiling more, joking more, and getting out of the house more. Iím still working on being able to start something and finish it before stopping to take a mental break.

Iíve been getting grief counseling for about a month, and I think itís helping. My counselor is helping me learn techniques to deal with the anxiety and stress that have taken over my life. Iím hopeful that by the time I go back to school in the fall Iíll be ready tackle whatever comes my way.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINDYCITYCYNDEE 8/14/2014 2:28PM

    Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself. Teaching is challenging in the best of circumstances in ways that a lot of people don't understand, and you bring all of yourself into it.

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VAWHITE 6/4/2012 1:55PM

    Thanks for reading my blog and for your words of encouragement. It means so much!

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 6/4/2012 12:23PM

    I remember that...I also remember thinking when I would see you post something what an amazing, strong woman you must be. You are really! Who cares about the silly trivia stuff...really. Look at the big picture. emoticon

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KELCARD1 6/4/2012 10:45AM

    Stick with the counseling as long as you need to. It really helped me when I lost my Mom in 2010. We have to continue to do what is best for us. That's the only way our loved ones would be happy.

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CT-FL-SNOWBIRD 6/1/2012 9:04AM

    You are an amazing woman to have been able to hang on, as long as you did. I hope and pray that the counseling helps to give you a brighter future.
This is what Mike wants for you
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CHRISZ40 6/1/2012 8:37AM

    I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that the summer time will give you a chance to get back to yourself, and be ready for the fall year.

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Grieving

Monday, September 19, 2011

The love of my life and my best friend died very unexpectedly Saturday morning of a massive heart attack. Heís been my everything for ten years. I often told him he was my sanity because without him some the events in those ten years would have driven me crazy. Iíve never felt a loss or pain like this before. Without my kids, I canít imagine going on. My heart feels like it canít heal, but my head tells me that over time it will.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 3/4/2012 10:57PM

    emoticonI know this happened last September, but I do hope you are getting along well now. I certainly hope he had Life Insurance and everything covered for you so all has gone along well since.

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KELCARD1 9/27/2011 11:21AM

    Please remember to take care of yourself. This will be an agonizing time in many ways. I've lost both of my parents in the last 3 years and it was so easy to look at food for comfort. Look outside yourself at your friends and family. Let them carry you through!

Kelly

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 9/20/2011 3:58PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. emoticon

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CT-FL-SNOWBIRD 9/19/2011 12:47PM

    Please give yourself as much time as possible with the grieving process. You may need more than a couple of days off from teaching. When you think you're ready to face your students, go back and know that they will, hopefully, be there to help you get through this. Just take one day at a time, with baby steps.

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4ANEWME2DAY 9/19/2011 12:12PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Thank you, Hurricane Irene

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Hurricane Irene was fairly gentle with us when she roared through. Our power went out for an hour or so Saturday night and then went off again Sunday afternoon for a few hours. Word has it that someone trying to get a limb off a power line took down the whole line. One maple lost four big branches but didn't do any damage. This is the same tree I've lost limbs from every big blow that comes through. There was rot on a couple of them so I think it's time that tree came down! I cleaned up the worst of it the next day with help from my sweetie who has a chain saw. It great that we live on the same cul de sac, and I try hard not to take advantage of his impressive fix it skills!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VAWHITE 9/8/2011 5:39AM

    My sweetie bought me a "head light" from one of the hardware stores. It has an adjustable strap that you wear around your head (kind of like a visor). There are a number of settings on it and one was perfect for reading. My kids wouldn't use it because it looked stupid. Their loss!

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CT-FL-SNOWBIRD 9/7/2011 10:00PM

    I'm glad that Irene was easy on you. We had no power or water from early Sunday morning until Thursday afternoon. And YES, I never stopped flipping the dead light switches or turning on "dead" faucets and then calling myself choice names everytime I did it. I don't know how our ancestors managed to read by candle light. I couldn't. Basically, when it got dark we just went to bed. When our power came back on we could hear our neighbors screaming for joy!

We're still waiting for the bottom line on the $ damage to our house.

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VAWHITE 9/5/2011 6:55AM

    And how many times did I call myself an idiot for automatically flipping the light switch when I went in a dark room! I have friends who were without power for over a week. They live in very rural areas with tons of trees. My limb removal isn't without cost. Someone will be getting his favorite dinner soon!

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IILAAD65 9/4/2011 11:07AM

    I have a friend that's just having some limbs taken off and its' costing $500!!

I am glad you're fine and didn't have the power outages. People don't realize how hard that really is until you go without for 24 hours +..



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Resuscitating a Pedometer

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

I wonder how many pedometers have drowned and been tossed in the trash. Itís happened to a few cell phones in my family. Up until Friday, Iíd been very careful about checking my pockets whenever I did a load of wash. I was always fearful Iíd forget to take the pedometer out of my pocket, and it would drown in the washer. My perfect record ended Friday night when I got a greasy spot on my slacks. I dashed for the washer, pulled off my slacks, treated them for the stain, and put them in the washer to soak.

The next morning I got up and tried to find the pedometer to put it in my pocket. When it wasnít in the usual places, a sinking feeling crept in, and I headed to the washer. Yep. It had soaked overnight and was positively grease free. It was also very dead. Drat! Not only was I going to have to fork out money for a new one, but I wouldnít be able to track my steps until a replacement arrived. Being the skinflint, tightwad Scrooge that I am, there just had to be something I could do to save it.

Close examination revealed that it had little tiny screws all around it. Screws on an object that isnít working just beg to be taken off and reveal what mysteries lie beneath. The dissection began. First I took off the battery. There didnít appear to be any moisture in that compartment at all so I kept my fingers crossed. Then I took out the 3 screws holding the two sides in place. There were definitely signs of moisture on the tiny circuit board, and I was about ready to pitch it in the trash right then. But the hard headed part of my brain said if it can get wet, perhaps it can dry out with little damage. What the heck! I had nothing to lose and began to think of ways to get it dry quickly. Forget the hair dryer; it might be too hot and damage it. Iíd been cleaning the kitchen countertops and had cut on the halogen under-counter lights so I could see better. Those little suckers can get quite hot, and the top of my coffee maker was very warm to the touch. Perfect! I placed all the pieces on top of the coffeemaker and went off to do other chores. When I came back later, everything had dried out except the display area, which was still visibly damp. After a little more time under the ďheat lamp,Ē it too looked all dried out.

The moment of truth had come. I started putting all the screws and parts back together and held my breath. When I turned it over, the displays were visible and ready to be set up. Delighted that I wasnít going to have to buy a new one, I updated all the settings and went for a walk, trying not to act like a lunatic by announcing to everyone in shouting distance that I had fixed a drowned pedometer!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VAWHITE 7/18/2011 9:11PM

    I figured I had nothing to lose. It was worthless in the condition it was in. I love the idea of a waterproof one for swimmers. Wish I were technically oriented enough to invent one if they don't exist.

I know you've been busy lately because your fitness minutes are way down! Glad you're catching up.

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CT-FL-SNOWBIRD 7/18/2011 7:19PM

    That's using your noggin! I'd be so afraid of never getting the thing back together again. Now, I won't be so timid and at least try to repair stuff before I toss it.

There are water proof watches. Is there such a thing as water proof pedometers that swimmers might use?

As you can see, I'm finally catching up on my blog reading.

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February

Saturday, February 26, 2011

There have been lots of posts this winter about how wearisome it is enduring all the cold weather and snow. There are those of us who just plain hate cold weather. I for one hate having my hands get like sandpaper. I canít put on hose or synthetic socks without snagging them, and I canít keep the dry flaky skin off my face. I was going to try one night cream a friend highly recommended, but when I saw the price tag, I thought I could live with what Iíve got a little longer. The dismal days are the worst of all, especially when the whole weekend is gray and dreary. I donít notice it so much during the week because Iím in a classroom for most of the daylight hours where the lighting is good.

I ran across this poem years ago, probably from some teachersí source, and have pulled it out every February when I just donít think I can stand winter another minute. My mother felt about winter as I do, and I wish Iíd thought to send the poem to her every February. I think she would have appreciated it. So for those of you who are more than ready for spring, this is for you.

February
By Adeline D. T. Whitney

Will winter never be over?
Will the dark days never go?
Must the buttercup and the clover
Be always hid under the snow?

Ah, lend me your little ear, love!
Hark! 'tis a beautiful thing:
The weariest month of the year, love,
Is shortest, and nearest the spring!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CT-FL-SNOWBIRD 2/27/2011 4:49PM

    LOVE IT! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!

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IRENEHUD 2/27/2011 7:56AM

    What a lovely poem, thank you!!!!

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