Saturday, March 27, 2010
I went to my meditation class yesterday. It was very, very interesting. Not only is there meditation, but the group reads books on Buddhism and discusses the books chapter by chapter. Right now they are reading the book "The Wise Heart" by Jack Kornfield. Yesterday's topic was "The Storytelling Mind". Basically, one needs to identify the negative tapes running in ones mind, name them, and not hold on to them anymore. What would a person's experience be like if they would just let these thoughts go.....It made me think about the Shrink Yourself philosophy of identifying why you overeat, accepting it, and then trying to move on from there....
The book is wonderful if you haven't read it. Chapter 2 discusses how self hatred colors everything. Again I thought of Shrink Yourself.
The meditation practice was great. I haven't felt this good in months; last night I slept very, very well....something that hasn't happened in a while. ...I think I'm on to something!
...the first "assignment" in the book is to look for the divine in everyone. I have this one down well; it is one of the reasons why I love teaching so very much. All of my students have wonderfulness in them; the key is, now I have to be as kind to myself and find and acknowledge the wonderfulness in me. Then I think I won't want to eat so much anymore!
Off to enjoy my day....meeting an old friend I haven't seen in over 20 years!
Friday, March 26, 2010
I once was a full blown optimist. If you've read any of my other recent blogs, you might wonder! Today I've decided to begin the task of reclaiming my former much loved and missed personality trait....
The first step was taken at the beginning of this month; I was wondering why I wasn't feeling happy, energetic, or well. I thought about how I was living; I was right back where I started from a year and a half ago...same habits (eating instead of talking or exercising when stressed, not getting enough sleep, looking backwards instead of forwards..) I had worked hard to change. I have all ready noticed a difference. The food journal is a wonderful thing.
I have decided to be happy in spite of the stress I am living through right now. Just typing that sentence makes me smile and breath easier. So, for the next few weeks at least, alongside the complaining, I will blog about what I'm doing to stay positive!
Today I am going to attend a meditation class. I am going to enjoy it. I know I will not be able to go for a few weeks (schedule conflict) so I plan to REALLY enjoy it. I know that learning how to relax will help me to be a happier person and will help me lose weight. This will be the first thing I have done for myself in a long long time that doesn't involve hair dye or nail polish-and those things only work on the outside....This will work on the inside!
One other step I have taken is that I have been making homemade foods for my family for several months...right down to homemade hamburger buns! Some days it is a challenge with my schedule, but it has been worth it. Everyone is feeling better. I've always cooked but often we would get pizza or Chinese take-out....Occasionally it's fine, but it is not a way to live all the time. Even my Dad is losing weight!
So, off I go to enjoy as much of my day as I can, and today I am going to look for opportunities to laugh....I'll let you know how it went tomorrow!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
So, the reason my son is struggling in school is because he is being bullied. So now I'm dealing with that.....
Yesterday I went over my calorie limit, but not by too much...I walked yesterday and today to help deal with the stress.....I think I will try the meditation class tomorrow. I need to take care of myself so I can be strong for my son! :-)
....on to the rest of my day.
Monday, March 22, 2010
So, I am beginning to think I have turned into a negative person. Today was a rough day....my son is arguing with me over school work.....he's struggling in school a bit. I'm worried about lots-to add insult to injury I got a letter in the mail declining a health insurance claim...now I have to work on that, too. I need to get out of this funk.
I exercised again today. I stayed in my calorie limit today (though junk food is calling me.).
I am grateful to have a son to argue with, lol....but I am not happy. I think maybe I will go to practice some meditation on Friday...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
So, after a break from this a while I sat down to the nutrition section and entered what I had eaten for the day. Wow! It became very, very obvious why I have put some pounds on. The rest of the week was much better...not perfect, but better. It amazes me that just knowing I have to write down what I eat motivates me to eat less, ask myself twice "do I really want that or not???". I walked today, too. Right now I'm walking a 19 minute mile. I'm feeling a bit like a failure at the moment, but a year and a half ago when I started to get it shape I could only walk a 30 minute mile. So I really AM NOT back where I was....perhaps, just not where I want to be.....
I am thinking of going to a meditation class on Friday! I feel lots of stress, often. I am a divorced Mom of and 11 year old and I am also keeping an eye on my Dad. Money is always tight, I worry about my Dad, and dealing with my Ex can sometimes be trying. I am generally a positive person, but all the worries do get to me. I was thinking the meditation could help. I also remember reading that stress can keep you overweight, and for me, stress equals overeating. ....and the bonus is, the class is by donation, meaning I can pay what I can afford! It's worth a try, I guess.
Now I'm off to Whole Foods-it's a Grand Opening-first one ever anywhere near where I live.
I have been on an "eat only real foods" kick for a while. If my family wants dessert, I make it (as opposed to buying store bought). I figure at least I know what's in it. I'm hoping the store will have some things to make it a little easier.
...I have decided to wait until May to get on the scale and measure. I'm afraid if I do it now I will be discouraged and just give up....I wonder if any of you have done this.
Off I go to enjoy the day!
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