VALUCHKA   17,842
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Now what do I do?

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I'm so discouraged. I have hurt my back and can't workout like I'm used to. I miss it and I'm tired of sitting around. I'm not sure what to do to keep in shape or even if I should. I mean, do i need to let my muscles weaken so the back releases somehow and if so, how do i rebuild and when? I ve decided not to take any more painkillers because I want to know exactly what i'm doing that is hurting my back and exactly when so I don't do It. And then there's the vertigo that comes and goes. I can stand on one leg no problem, so what's with this woozy feeling? I've been feeling so good and now I'm stuck.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GERBALMAMMA 7/6/2010 10:06AM

    You've got the pain killers so you've been to the drs. What did she/he suspect? Do you swim? It is my fall back workout when I can't run.

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What a day, what lessons!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Yesterday was amazing. It was just one of those truly awesome days. Last week I celebrated fitting into single digit sized jeans for the first time I can remember. It was really something to fit size 8. But then yesterday I realized that they were TOO BAGGY! I bought a pair of size 6, tried them on and they FIT!!!!! My mind is still coping with the change in my body. When I held them up I thought there was no possible way they would fit me, but they do, they do. All those years of thinking I just couldn't lose weight, all those years of fooling myself about how much I was actually eating and how little I was actually moving. I'd always heard that it was important to keep a food diary and I would tell myself I was too busy and couldn't be bothered.

The awesomeness continued. My husband surprised me with an invitation to a dinner honoring people and programs in our local mental health community. It was inspiring to realize how many dedicated people are out there looking out for those who can't handle life the same way "normal" people can. Outside of a couple of bouts of that black hole of depression, I have not dealt with mental illness myself. However, my sister is diagnosed as bipolar and has been medicated for the past 30 or so years so the issue is close to home. When we aren't dealing with something like that it is so easy to think that someone has control, that all they need is a good dose of self discipline or to "just snap out of it" or "grow up," but it just isn't that simple. Seeing the compassion and understanding and the therapeutic skills these health care professionals and volunteers displayed is a wonderful and humbling experience.

Then I won the raffle prize, a new iPad, which I am using at this moment to write this blog. Now, if that wasn't a great day, I don't know what would be. And that, too, was s humbling experience. I don't have any idea why I should have been so blessed to win this, nor do I have any clue why someone gets schizophrenia and ends up homeless. As one of the speakers put it, it isn't always about choice. Yes, I have chosen to exercise more, to eat a variety of healthy real food, but I am blessed to have the means to buy these foods, the time and place to exercise, a body that is whole and healthy enough to process what I eat and the more I think about it, the more I realize how blessed I am outside of anything I've done. It's a little like the raffle. I chose to buy the tickets, I made the effort to put my name on the tickets, but the rest was out of my control.

Losing weight is a lot more predictable than the raffle, thank Goodness! But it starts with making a choice, then another, then another, being gracious to yourself and to others and being grateful for the innumerable blessings that make it possible. The next step is to do something positive with the blessings we've received, which is why I'm sharing all this today, using my new iPad.


The Dreaded Colonoscopy

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Today I'm taking it easy on my exercising because I'm still feeling a little odd after my procedure. Yes, as they say, the worst part is the prep the day before. The taste of the prep solution wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The effects, well, you know. But there again not as bad as expected. The procedure itself I don't even remember. They told me they were about to begin and the next thing I knew they told me they were all done. It's over! I've done it! No more dread. It took a couple of days because you can't really do much the afternoon and evening before and the 24 hours after, but it's worth it to have peace of mind. If you're over 50 and have been dreading it, just do it. It's not all that bad and it could save your life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KTBRUIN 5/12/2010 3:58PM

    Good! Good! Good! Colonoscopies saves lives (my husband and my sister!). I put mine off until my husband had his (routine check up) and they discovered early stage cancer. He had his surgery and is doing fine now (almost a year). I finally went in for mine (I should have had mine earlier because my grandmother died from colon cancer in her 50's). I was ok and now I'll never delay that test again.

When you think about it, you get to take some time off and do nothing all day! I just laid in my bed and watched dvds. The next day I slept until the meds wore off. It's really not that bad.

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B2B2BA 5/12/2010 3:45PM

    Congratulations! And thanks for a good story about the whole colonoscopy process. Usually all I hear about are the scary ones that totally put me off.



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