Tuesday, July 22, 2014
My days off are over. How can that be? One minute I was driving like crazy to attend everything we had planned and the otherÖ here I am again, sat at my desk, working and being discouraged that Iíll never find something better. How fast did it come back heh?
My week off hasnít been good health wise. I didnít stick to Paleo at all nor did I exercise much. Iíve been experiencing stomachache a lot lately; I think itís due to either bread or cheese. I hope itís bread.
On Monday, we went to a hotel with my boyfriend (something I won) and we treated ourselves to massages and spa and sauna and a lot of fooling around in the pool. We ate too much and I was sooo tired! The day before, I had forgotten to take a pill so I was feeling lightheaded and kinda sick the whole time on Monday. So I took it late in the afternoon but that pill makes my sleepy. We got to bed around 8 pm and I felt asleep only 20 minutes after the movie started.
On Tuesday, we were supposed to do Arbre en Arbre (you climb trees and walk across suspended bridgea) but my boyfriend had hurt his foot on Monday Ė 3 hours of going up and down stairs and trees would have been painful. So, we went to the movie instead. That was a looong 2 hours and 45 minutes Ė we saw Transformers, that was good but so freaking long!
Then, we got home. Didnít do much either. On Wednesday, I got up early and cleaned the bathroom Ė I lunched with my sister and I had dinner with a friend. Got home late, my boyfriend wasnít homeÖ he was at the bar (I hate when he comes back totally wasted!) so I went to fetch him. We ended up drinking and playing darts. That wasnít so bad.
On Thursday, we drove to the south shore of Montreal to meet a friend and be closer to Calypso Waterpark in the morning. Thatís when I started not feeling so good. We ate some fresh cheese curds and right after that, I was kinda nauseous. And I had a stomachache. It faded away but came back as soon as I started eating dinner. That lasted until Sunday and kind of went away but today, I donít feel so good either. Iíve never been the one to have any difficulties with my stomach or anything related. Anyway!
On Friday, we went to Calypso Waterpark in Ontario. We stayed there 3 hours and went straight back home. I wasnít feeling good on Friday, dizzy, nauseous, feverishÖ We did a good 10 hours of car to go to Calypso and we ended being there 3 hours =( At least, we got to do all the waterslides and that part was cool. Next vacation, I wonít pack it so much. Weíll have free time and letís hope, 2 weeks in a row.
On Saturday, we went to babysit my nephew; that was cool actually except for my brother-in-law belittling what we did. I really donít like him that much. But Iím trying this new attitude where I donít get to be mean or think/say bad things about other people. So far, itís working good but not so much when it comes to my B-I-L. Guess thatís going to need more hardwork!
I didnít feel as if my days off had been satisfying. Not really. It just felt like a long week and a very short too, in some ways. I had fun though =) And I got to spend time with friends and family.
As of today, food related, itís all good Ė Iím going grocery shopping tonight. OhÖ yeah, I threw like 50$ worth of food away yesterday. We didnít eat at home once last week so all my veggies got wasted and leftovers too. I had it all planned out.. but it didnít work that way. Iím happy to be back on my regular schedule, itís so much more easy to behave and follow the plan. Iím back at 220 Ė thatís a 2 pounds gain, but heh, itís only 2pounds and considering I ate way too much, drank too much too and had too much processed and sugary food. Well the outcome isnít so frightening.
All right. That was long, heh? Sorry about that. Have a good week ☼
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
Iíve read a blog today about delayed satisfaction and it put things in perspective. Changing my lifestyle to paleo is difficult and I struggle with all the planning it involves. Vegetables wonít get cut on their own, you know. And dinner is always difficult because we donít plan or when we do, I donít ďfeelĒ like eating what Iíve planned. How stupid, right?
Because I want to be healthy, I have to make good choices and stick to the plan. Yesterday, I had nothing planned for dinner, as usual and we ended up eating out. The restaurant dťcor was blank so was the food. We spent a good 30$ on something that was neither good nor satisfying. Next timeÖ there will be no next time! I need to start planning.
My body can do LOTS of things
I am amazed at how my body is changing. Last weekend, I had a family gathering and we did a lot of things (arguing being our favorite one!) like running, swimming and eating =) Although I went overboard *once again* calorie wise, it was mostly because I ate too much fruits/veggies. I went into a frenzy at lunch time and I ended up feeling bad and having a stomachache; something I wonít forget soon Ė that was stooped and so uncomfortable! I wasnít able to move properly because of it.
But what I wanted to share isÖ my body is powerful! I was able to do all those things and enjoy myself, I was able to go up the stairs 2 by 2. And I am wearing a pair of jeans I thought Iíd have to get rid of because they didnít fit anymore. But now, thanks to ME, they fit and theyíre kinda loose. That will be 30 pounds I got rid of, soon.
I grocery shopped in the Bio section to see if I could find a better option for my Balsamic vinaigrette (I know, I can do one at home for less and itíd be better Ė Iím still trying to find one I like), I did find one that looks and smells yummy. For a price, though.
Iíll be off in 3 days! I canít wait. Really.
Have a wonderful days, folks ☼
Friday, July 04, 2014
Since high school, Iíve been THAT girl, the one who gets picked up last in gym class, the one others would laugh at just for fun, the one whoíd get stuff thrown at her, the one who imagined jumping from the 4th floor at the same moment school ended (just to show them ďHey I existĒ and ďHey, your words and your actions killed meĒ). That last bit was overdramatic but high school felt like war to me.
My boyfriend and I recently got into a softball league just for fun and there were people from my hometown there, people I went to school with. And growing up, after high school, I always fell self-conscious about who I was and how they would treat me now because of what happened and how I was treated in HS. I know HS is hard for everyone, even the ones you think got everything going for them. But I stayed with that same feeling, that I was THAT girl and that, because of which role I played in HS, they would always see me the same. How wrong was I.
See, Iím turning 30 this year and it took me half my life to overcome this feeling and I am still fighting it, it doesnít come easy. I fled my hometown at the first occasion I had. At 16, I wasnít living with my parents anymore. I had an apartment and a whole new life to construct, away from my misery (turns out misery finds you everywhere though, but thatís another story!) And when I was in public, I always felt the eyes of the others, looking at me, judging me, assessing me. I would always feel like THAT girl and act accordingly.
Thereís always been a duality in my personality, the one I am and the one I wish I was. The first one is sort of bound by societyís ways of thinking and will laugh at people who doesnít follow the norm and who think girls who arenít skinny canít wear bikinis. The first one is bruised badly and is trying, very hard, to ignore the feelings inside.
The second one is a free spirit, one that moves mountains and whoís generous. The second one faces problems and finds solutions, the second one is successful.
Iíve been the first one for a long time but the second one is coming to life. I try to think outside the box, I wore a bikini in public for the first time of my life last weekend. I am getting informed more and more about the world I live in and I try to make a change, to be a better person, to fight the urge to criticize others when I encounter someone who doesnít ďfit inĒ. I try to not judge people on their outside. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Simple as that.
Iím not proud of myself when I laugh at someone in his/her back, making fun of their differences. I hope no one overheard me because the way I act, thatís mean and itís cheap behavior toward another human being who feels the same I do. I donít do that often and even less and less nowadays, but stillÖ A SP friend of mine got laughed at while walking not so long ago; she reported it in a blog post. This could have been me. On both counts; I could have been that girl laughed at or the one laughing at. Really, why do I do that to others? And really, why do I feel that I am a victim, all the time?
What I wanted to say today though, has everything to do with my boyfriend and his never ending love, his never ending compliments that I see reflecting in his eyes. He knows everyone, heís a people person and heís funny. Well, letís put it mildly, I am NOT a people person. Or more accurately, I wasnít. Being his girlfriend meant getting whole new friends (he got a very tight group of friends) and doing stuff with him. Stuff I wouldnít do. I now play softball (with my sister in law), volleyball (I got on the team through one of his friend) and hockey (together).
And coming back on my first story, the one where we got on a softball team this summer, well, I encountered people from my hometown and I didnít feel the way I used to. I am not THAT girl anymore. I have succeeded to overcome this paralyzing fear of being laughed at, of being pointed at. When I was in HS, I would pretend I didnít care. But of course, I did. Now, although it might sadden me for a second or two, it doesnít bother me. And more importantly, I am not always looking for signs of people laughing at me, or eavesdropping on peopleís conversation to have a proof of it.
Last but not least, I wore a bikini the other weekend and I did because of one very inspiring blogpost my friend Wumpastar wrote a couple of weeks ago. Your words meant the world to me. Although I am not ready to wear a bikini at Valcartier, I did so with a bunch of friends but there were also people I had never seen before.
I know loving myself doesnít come from somebody else and I cannot rely on my boyfriend to feel beautiful but sometimes, you just need a little convincing and a little push to believe in you. And I begin to see myself through his eyes, I am a beautiful person.
So that was very longÖ Wumpa, I hope you get the chance to read it before you go.
Thank you for your words, everyone, I love Ďem! =)
Wednesday, July 02, 2014
It's been almost a week now since I finished my 21DSD, I overate on Saturday and Sunday - both days are over 3000 calories each. Granted I moved my ass a lot on these days (volleyball, swimming, running...) still. It's a lot. Beers didn't help. For the week though, I am around 1600 calories. I also move a lot; hockey, volleyball, zumba, softball... but I am not hungry. Well, maybe a bit today - I didn't have time to eat properly at dinner and I had hockey after. But now, it's all good.
In 2 weeks, I'll be off for a whole week =) Wow, I can't wait! We are going to sleep somewhere in a hotel (something I won) and we're gonna go hiking and kayaking and doing a lot of stuff outdoor.
The last 2 weeks have been frantic and I'm really happy I got tomorrow night free. No nothing... well nothing that doesn't involve a vacuum and a lot of cleaning. Sad but necessary. Let's hope it's not 42į C (that was the weather on Monday...!)
And my new toy. An elleptical =) I've been meaning to buy one for a while now and we did tonight. It's used and it makes funny noise but nothing that can't be fixed with WD-40 I think. It's for the days I don't feel like going outside. It will be wonderful and it's right in front of the TV. No excuses! And right beside the couches so it'll be staring at me those nights I watch The Biggest Loser munching on chips! Ah ah! (Ok, I try to not munch on chips anymore.. maybe more like carrots but still!)
All right, I hope everyone's got a good week so far. Mine has been hectic but it's almost over. Make the best of it, folks ☼
Sunday, June 29, 2014
So proud =) I'm at 220 now. I'm done with my Sugar Detox, it actually was a 14 Days Sugar Detox instead of 21; I got bored and missed fruits. But I'm ok with my decision, I had my first weekend off the 21DSD and I didn't overeat. I did have chips & pizza but in very moderate amount. I did go overboard with watermelon though.
I want to show you 2 pictures, one at 236 and one at 220. It's amazing how my face look thinner, don't you think?
Please, send positive thinking my way so I really get a new job before summer ends!
Have a good weekm folks ♥
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