Saturday, October 12, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Another year gone, leaving everywhere
its rich spiced residues: vines, leaves,
the uneaten fruits crumbling damply
in the shadows, unmattering back
from the particular island
of this summer, this NOW, that now is nowhere
except underfoot, moldering
in that black subterranean castle
of unobservable mysteries - roots and sealed seeds
and the wanderings of water. This
I try to remember when time's measure
painfully chafes, for instance when autumn
flares out at the last, boisterous and like us longing
to stay - how everything lives, shifting
from one bright vision to another, forever
in these momentary pastures.
~ Mary Oliver ~
(from American Primitive)
via Joe Riley at Panhala.net
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Blazing summer days: no force could bring them back.
Clouds suddenly rising off the river, lovely, so lovely,
ducks leave a bridge's shadow, paddling into fine rain,
and butterflies flutter out, frolicking in field breezes.
The willow won't survive nights and days much longer,
and waterlilies will only open two or three more times.
If the changing sights of a single year haunt your eye,
why wonder that a palace lake is ash among the kalpas?
-- Lu Yu
"Light Rain" from Mountain Home: The wilderness poetry of ancient China, translated by David Hinton
With summer's end comes finally the six-day retreat "Healing Yourself Is Healing the World."
I leave Sunday, Sept 22, with three girl friends (one of whom is Robin, GENKI_WARRIOR!) for Magnolia Grove Monastery, Mississippi, in retreat with renowned Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. We are going there in my little camper, Kurma (Turtle) Avatara, a 1984 Toyota Dolphin. Two of us will sleep in the camper and two in a tent. We will return Sept 29.
Thay, as Thich Nhat Hanh is affectionately known
Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. Every breath we take, every step we take, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment.
-- Thich Nhat Hanh
Calligraphy by Thay
In other news, I will be participating in the Conway Fall Cycling Classic the day before we leave for the retreat. Unlike my biker dude friend Don, I will only be cycling 32 miles. No comparing though...I'm out there doing SOMETHING.
I have also managed to lose 17 pounds over the summer, every pound a struggle. I have six more to go to reach the desired 130 lbs. and I'm hopeful! And SparkPeople.com continues to be an important source of lively and supportive friends and tools which profoundly assist the process.
It is also my last semester in obtaining a BA in Spanish Literature at a local university, with a heavy schedule of papers and oral presentations between now and semester's end in December, scary but do-able, I think.
At the end of the Fall semester in December, with the beginning of winter, I am affirming a thought-dream of a road trip in my camper to California, arriving in time for a New Year's Retreat in Santa Barbara and then to visit Thay's Practice Center, Deer Park Monastery, in Escondido. My plan is to then (for an undetermined period of time) visit beloveds in the San Francisco Bay Area, dear friend Kathy north of Sacramento (Vivian too!), and then sell the camper there (a temporary antidote to my financial woes) before boarding a flight San Francisco-Quito, Ecuador. We'll see how it all shakes out!
Monday, July 01, 2013
Yeah, let's meet there to talk about this --
I have good news and not-so-good news: After embarking upon a conscious program (once again) of portion control, watching the types of foods consumed, tracking food, and exercising to begin getting rid of the 15 pounds that have crept up on me from about two years of careless eating, the good news is that I have maintained a month-long streak of daily exercise.
The not-so-good news is that after the first of June official weekly weigh-in that showed a decrease to 142 pounds, the scale popped back up to 145-ish and has been hovering there ALL MONTH, today included. Nor are my clothes even ONE SPECK looser. And I do NOT want to change the weight ticker back up to 145 -- NO! The major point I'm making here is that in 30 days I didn't drop an ounce! That just doesn't happen when I'm focused on losing...I've always lost an average of one, up to two, pound(s) per week, which should result in me being a minimum of four, maximum of eight, pounds down at the end of June.
Have I not been precise enough in entering food each day? That's the first thing that came to mind. I'm purdy obsessive about it but it's still possible that I'm under-estimating or forgetting here-and-there...but NOT.ONE.POUND in the entire month, with daily exercise to boot???
I'm drinking eight-ten cups of liquid per day. I'm generally doing a fairly decent job of portioning out carbs, proteins, and fats by SparkPeople standards, though my diet is not as protein dense as classic meat diets, nor do I feel we need the level of protein often recommended. I generally tend to be high in carbs, because I consume a high level of complex carbs -- yesterday is fairly representative, i.e. blackberries, apple, plum, cantaloupe, sprouted whole grain bread, toasted oats, yogurt, tofu, etc. My protein sources yesterday included yogurt (Greek), tofu, the bread, peanut butter, walnuts. My distribution yesterday was 48.5% carbs, 22% proteins, 29.4% fats, very close to recommended values.
I'm not losing.
This is NOT typical when I get up-close-and-personal with eating, exercise, and tracking.
I'm stumped and confused and not sure what to do.
Ok, ok! so that's not the answer.
I guess this is a good place to begin (again).
We're on top of this one!
Naw, this couldn't possibly have *anything* to do with it, uh uh.
I will not let a temporary set-back deter me...I will NOT give up.
Never hurts to review the basics:
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I hesitated to write this blog because it can be yet another way to be on the computer INSTEAD of "on the mat" or with the free weights or on my bicycle. But It will be short-and-sweet.
I'm pushin' 150 lbs. and that's scary...and moves me toward that "out-of-control" feeling that I dread so. I'm afraid I've been sliding down a slippery slope ever since returning from Ecuador, and not just in terms of food and exercise, but generally feeling lethargic and vacillating and unproductive. I have had this tendency for many years, and have always had to fight it...and the fight goes on!
I am using various strategies~~
~ specific achievable steps in terms of movement, which I will track
~ tracking ALL food
~ limiting computer time (working on a strategy here, it's harder than it sounds -- for me)
~ reading _Enough! A Buddhist Approach to Finding Release from Addictive Patterns_ by Chonyi Taylor, which I think hones in on the root cause of much of my dysfunctional behavior
~ practice daily gratitude, posting in the two communities if possible
I know it's up to me...to change my mind/behavior to change my life.
And I also know that self-blame and self-judgment are counter-productive.
Today is DAY ONE, the first day of the rest of my life.
Get An Email Alert Each Time VALERIEMAHA Posts