Friday, May 03, 2013
I've really back-slidden...(is that a word?) I haven't been on here since 2011 and have gained more weight - my own fault of course.
I'm giving up trying solely on my own and am going to join weight watchers online and I'm going to have faith in God that I can do this:
Philippians 4:13 ((NIV) I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I'm going to start studying bible references regarding strength and losing weight... If anyone has one in their mind, please feel free to send it to me,
It's going to be tough, but I'm at the point where I can't stand being like this any longer and with God I will be victorious!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I'm been too complacent - I started off all gung ho and so determinated that I was going to get rid of all this weight, but the excitement waned and life got in the way.
Now, I really have to get back on track. i gained everything I lost and probably more. I had a twenty fifth wedding anniversary party to attend for my pastor's and I had a terrible time finding something to wear, I eventually ended up making a skirt. I felt huge. I was huge. When they send out the individual pictures, I'm going to get one printed and put in on the fridge and probably post it here.
There's also another picture from a church meeting showing how far I've gone. It'll be a great before picture.
I am more determined to lose this lard now. There are some other girls at church who are in the same boat, so maybe we can start up a weight loss group with a Christian aspect. I never want to have to wear clothes this size again and I will do it this time.
I'll start this afternoon - my son leaves for a week (which I am so looking forward to) to summer camp so I'll be stopping off at the market to buy all the good stuff I need and I'll have the week to get into a routine before he gets back.
I'm also forgiving myself for letting this go for so long so I can stop berating myself and move forward instead of looking back. Looking back will just move be back, so I'm looking forward and am determined to get there.
Monday, May 09, 2011
It's been over 10 months since I've dieted.
There's no real excuse - but probably hundreds of little lies I've told myself. Basically it all comes down to being lazy. Yes, life has been hectic, stressful, but it's still not a good enough reason.
I'm going to try to make an effort to get back to doing what I'm supposed to do.
I bought a bike last fall -I have yet to use it. My 14 year old son doesn't think I'll be able to - He has some weird idea that you can "forget" how to ride a bike. I'm going to make an effort to prove him wrong this weekend. I may be a bit wobbly, but I haven't forgotten. He doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to enlist in making him help me and spur me on.
Now I'm off to make my shopping list!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I've been reading a lot of blogs and I see myself in so many of them.
I grew up in a middle class house with 5 brothers and sisters - I was in the middle.
My father definately had his favourites. He didn't have much use for his eldest daughters - me being number 3. His first son was gold, as was his youngest daughter. I remember that nothing I did was right - no matter how well I did in school it wasn't good enough - if I got 99% on something, there was no "good Job", there was only "where's the other 1%?" I was generally a good student and obtained honours all the way through highschool. I spent most of my highschool grounded to the house for the smallest reason - basically I was a great kid - no skipping classes, no drugs, alcohol, sleeping around etc. I was told that I was fat and even at 123 lbs (5'5") - I believed it. Afterall, my dad said I was - why would he lie to me. He'd tell me that no man would ever want to marry me. (Looking back now at pictures, I actually had a great figure and I was totally unaware of it.)
Well, I wasn't fat then, but I sure am now. But, I can change that.
I did get married - a really poor decision on my part, but I had two beautiful boys, and then I changed that situation and made him leave. I think now, the only reason why I married him was I needed to prove my dad wrong. I don't know if I'll ever marry again, but who knows. I don't really want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I know I'm not ready to marry again. I need to find "me" again. I know I'm somewhere underneath this huge covering of "fat".
I look back and see that my dad couldn't have been very happy with himself - maybe he saw too much of me in him. He's gone now, so I'll never know the real answer.
So, I'm taking back my life. I will beat this! I will lose the weight and get back to close to what I should be. I feel like I'm becoming a different person and reading everything I can on Spark People is going to be a big part of keeping me going.
Thank You Spark People!
Get An Email Alert Each Time UNSTRUNG Posts