Sunday, March 28, 2010
I was in the middle of reading a sentence in "Shrink Yourself". I'm in chapter 2. I really wanted to finish reading the second chapter before I talked or blogged about it but I really needed to get this off my chest. I have realized something.
It is talking about how we eat to avoid emotions. Well, not only do I eat but I have taken on a ridiculous amounts of projects in the past 7-8 months. Pretty much as soon as I started going down hill with my weight loss. I think that I have done this so I'm too busy to think about my feelings, to think about what's going on in my life. I think that if I don't think about it, it might go away. I'm shaking right now because I have come to this realization. I have so much in my head that I need to straighten out but I have made it literally impossible to have enough time to actually straighten out because I'm afraid of the result. Right now, I can't think of all the things I need to straighten out because there are SO MANY things in the past 10 months or so that I have pushed aside hoping will go away. I think they have but that's just because I have been pushing them aside. The book refers to this as being childish (in more blunt terms). Part of being an adult is to face the obstacles you are faced and work them out, not run away and push them aside or ignore them. This is exactly what I have been doing, my whole life. I have ALWAYS pushed obstacles aside ignoring them because I've been worried about what the result will be. I need to start being an adult and have the balls to face obstacles, being people or situations and having the guts to say what I actually feel without being afraid to hurt someone's feelings or not. I need to grow up.
Therefore, I have decided I need to get rid of some of the things that I have started in an effort to give myself less time to myself. First and foremost I would have to say Pampered Chef. I need to stop this. I loved doing it and I love the products but, I need to get my life figured out and that's a priority. I don't have enough time to put into it that I don't get out of it what I want. But, I would say this was the main thing that helped me have no time at all to think about what I needed to. Think about it, I work full time plus overtime at Rockwell, I am going to school at UF which requires a butt load of work and studying. These two are the things I need to focus on to further better myself and make a living. Making this decision should free up some time for me to figure myself out.
After I resign from Pampered Chef, I will make a list of things that pop into my head and before I push them aside, because it's second nature to me since I've been doing it my whole life, I will write that subject down, no matter what. I'll always carry some type of paper and pen with me for this reason. Then, once I feel well rested and have a life again, I will address these topics and start solving these problems.
Thank you for reading this. I highly recommend this book. I'm only in the second chapter and came to this conclusion about my life. I think once I'm done with this book, it will drastically change my life.
Thank you Lisa for recommending this book to me almost 2 years ago.
It took me awhile to get past the first chapter (that's an understatement) but I am very glad I did and if I am right about this book, you would have helped me drastically change my life for the better, and for that I am truly and wholeheartedly grateful that you are in my life.
As for all my other Spark Friends, I've said this once and I will say it a million times, I couldn't have done anything positive in my life if it wasn't for all of your acceptance and encouragement you have given me. I love you all!!!!