Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Twenty fours on, I'm still Diet Coke and treat free!
And I still feel pretty awesome about it. I mean, I really want to eat. All of the time. Anything. I don't care if it's not treats. Can I just eat all day please? But that's not just today, that's pretty much all the time, and while I really want to just eat and eat, I don't feel any great desire that it should be chocolate etc filling that gap.
I have had no Diet Coke. To be fair, I haven't spent a great deal of time lounging about at home, which is the killer for it, but I haven't had any at work, either. So I'm doing pretty good.
Tonight though, I have PT class, and they have free-flowing free treats all night. Lollies on the table and chocolates and biscuits just available all night. They reckon in later classes we'll "need the energy" and besides, we're all adults and should make our own decisions. I don't feel good about having all this temptation in front of me. My approach will be that I can have all the fruit I want there. Even if it takes me over calories. I know fruit is high in sugar, therefore not a good plan, but better fruit than sweeties.
Wish me luck!
(Oh, and I added one other exception - the rescue team's Christmas breakup. So that's work for me, work for DH, and the rescue team. No other exceptions).
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Why are so many blogs about restarting? About starting again, starting over, going back to the start, etc...
I'm feeling that way lately. It started with doing no more than one treat food a day for Weekly Challenge. I found it was hard to do. I don't know why it was hard. I'm supposed to be losing weight. Treats are okay in moderation, but was ONE a day so difficult? Yes it was. Shouldn't be, but it was.
Now, the last two days, I've had several treat type foods each day. I'm starting to worry. I realised the other day just how completely easy it would be to slip right back into old habits entirely. I still have to think about all the new habits and behaviours. I still have to deny myself things I want. I hear about people who say "Now that I've started eating healthy, I don't even *want* the chocolate!" I don't know who these people are, or what planet they're from.
I WANT IT! I want it all, I want it as much as ever.
Maybe it's because I'm not doing total abstinance. Maybe it's because I allow myself a small piece of chocolate daily or a small serving of a treat. In moderation these are fine, and most days I manage to stay in range, so it's not even a case of blowing out the range. But maybe by doing this, I'm reminding my body how tasty it is every day. If I didn't, my body might eventually realise that those things are actually pretty gross and disgusting.
I think it might be worth a crack. I'm not going to go so mad as to throw out perfectly good chocolate, but once the current stash is gone, no more.
No chippies or healthier alternatives to them (baked not fried kind of thing).
No diet coke (gonna be really really hard - tried this so often and failed).
Not forever. No, you can't live like that. But daily isn't good either. Because I'm attempting the "abstinance leads to disliking" theory, it's going to have to be none at all for quite a while though. Absolutely none of the above food items.
I need an end-date though. Otherwise I run the risk of mentally feeling like I'm never going to be allowed these things, and splurging/binging.
I am 8.5 kilograms from my goal weight - 75kg. This should be about two to 2.5 months. So Christmas is the end date. That's when the abstinance theory ends. If I have not learnt to dislike those foods in 2.5 months, I'm probably not going to, especially since most of the time I hear this from other people they're at the 2 week or 4 week mark.
There are two exceptions though. Work Christmas functions. Mine and DH's. They'll both be before Christmas. I'm not strong enough to exclude them, too. Of course, cookies, chippies, lollies and cake should be reasonably easy to avoid there. And I can always order a different diet soda, just not diet coke. That leaves chocolate. They're restaurant deals. Skip dessert? Not likely! So we have chocolate only being allowed, only on those two dates and at those two functions. And only as part of dessert, not as "here, have a piece of this block of chocolate we're passing around".
Wish me luck.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Boy, work do's are hard!
We had a farewell morning tea this morning. I knew it was going to be bad, so I chose something light to bring for lunch to try to accommodate it. Maybe I shoulda just stayed away.
I had two big sausage rolls, a small cheese and bacon pie, a wee ham and cheese sandwich and a piece of fudge at the do this morning.
Then I went back and had half of a cream filled pastry.
Then I went back :( I had a whole cream filled pastry, another piece of fudge and another pie.
(Americans you probably have no idea what I mean when I say "pie" - just accept it's not healthy food).
Then I went down to the shops to post some stuff, was bored, and picked up two bags of chips. Thankfully I had the good sense to beg a colleague to take one away and dispose of it in private. But I ate the other one first.
I'm over my cals for the day (way over) and I haven't had dinner yet. No panic friends, I'm not skipping meals because I ate big. Heck, I couldn't anyway. But I think I'll have a Subway salad for dinner.
And I was soooo close.
What's that mean? Yesterday I was 82.8kg. Today, because of similar bad choices at another work do yesterday, I was 83.2kg. Today's choices won't really help. Tomorrow's a planned blowout - big BBQ to go to. I'm not even gonna try tomorrow, just take it as swings and roundabouts and keep going afterwards.
But 82.8kg. I mean, man. That's only 400grams off of having lost 30 kilos. I won't hit that now till mid-late next week at best.
So close ... and yet ... not.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I decided to get my rings resized. I wasn't going to till I levelled out, but I decided I miss wearing them and for the cost of doing it maybe twice, it was still worth getting it done now. So I took 'em to a jeweller.
She measured their size then gave me the ring of testing rings. My rings were a Q1/2. She looked at what size I'd chosen from the ring and said "Were these given to you?" Ha hahahahah! I felt good!
I'm going down to M1/2. An M sizing. Wow. I can buy rings from catalogues now. Probably still won't, but it's nice to know I can. They usually only show LMNOP sizes.
I've headed this blog 'current status' because it's just about where I am now. I've got the ring thing making me happy. :) I decided this morning my weight does whatever the heck it damn well likes. I eat well and exercise, and it stabilises. I eat badly and don't exercise and it goes down. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? As long as the general progress is down, I guess. I suppose I shouldn't let go entirely and say I can do what I like then, but I'm pleased about today's down. I ate pretty badly yesterday and got no exercise in the last couple of days.
My foot pain turns out to be plantar fasciitis - inflammation of the tendon in the arch of the foot. No more walking/running for a while. This is difficult. How the heck am I gonna work out? I usually manage to get a 30m walk in during the way instead of a lunch break. I can't go to the gym at lunch because I'd need a shower after and it takes too long (including travelling). I have an exercycle at home but I really don't feel like using it at 9.30 at night when I get home from work and school. That 30m walk was conveniently keeping the exercise levels up in the middle of the work day, even though it wasn't much on its own. Now I'm getting way less.
Still, I've put my calorie range back down to reflect it. Hopefully I can manage on a few gym visits a week to get those no-impact workouts in.
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