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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Twenty fours on, I'm still Diet Coke and treat free!

And I still feel pretty awesome about it. I mean, I really want to eat. All of the time. Anything. I don't care if it's not treats. Can I just eat all day please? But that's not just today, that's pretty much all the time, and while I really want to just eat and eat, I don't feel any great desire that it should be chocolate etc filling that gap.

I have had no Diet Coke. To be fair, I haven't spent a great deal of time lounging about at home, which is the killer for it, but I haven't had any at work, either. So I'm doing pretty good.

Tonight though, I have PT class, and they have free-flowing free treats all night. Lollies on the table and chocolates and biscuits just available all night. They reckon in later classes we'll "need the energy" and besides, we're all adults and should make our own decisions. I don't feel good about having all this temptation in front of me. My approach will be that I can have all the fruit I want there. Even if it takes me over calories. I know fruit is high in sugar, therefore not a good plan, but better fruit than sweeties.

Wish me luck!

(Oh, and I added one other exception - the rescue team's Christmas breakup. So that's work for me, work for DH, and the rescue team. No other exceptions).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLEYCAT_ 10/18/2007 2:37AM

    Hoorah! 24 hours and you are still on target! Just another success to tighten your belt around!

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FITTYTIFF 10/17/2007 11:09PM

    Hey Unident! No worries on the deleting of my comment! I actually had to re-read everything to even remember what I wrote.
However, Congrats on your first 24 hrs. I guess I could also say I am 24 hrs caffeine free! But I have to say I am very temped to make cookies. LOL

Okay I have to ask what are lollies? Are they what I might call a lollipop or some call a sucker; A hard sugar candy on a stick? Or are they something else?

And as I said in my blog thanks for the Ah HA. I really am thinking maybe some of my cravings are due to the caffeine.
Well together we will count our days!
Here is looking at day two!

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GLDNROTT 10/17/2007 10:22PM

    You can do it!!! I've never heard of anyone getting fat over eating too much fruit!!

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I gotta find a way to restart

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Why are so many blogs about restarting? About starting again, starting over, going back to the start, etc...

I'm feeling that way lately. It started with doing no more than one treat food a day for Weekly Challenge. I found it was hard to do. I don't know why it was hard. I'm supposed to be losing weight. Treats are okay in moderation, but was ONE a day so difficult? Yes it was. Shouldn't be, but it was.

Now, the last two days, I've had several treat type foods each day. I'm starting to worry. I realised the other day just how completely easy it would be to slip right back into old habits entirely. I still have to think about all the new habits and behaviours. I still have to deny myself things I want. I hear about people who say "Now that I've started eating healthy, I don't even *want* the chocolate!" I don't know who these people are, or what planet they're from.

I WANT IT! I want it all, I want it as much as ever.

Maybe it's because I'm not doing total abstinance. Maybe it's because I allow myself a small piece of chocolate daily or a small serving of a treat. In moderation these are fine, and most days I manage to stay in range, so it's not even a case of blowing out the range. But maybe by doing this, I'm reminding my body how tasty it is every day. If I didn't, my body might eventually realise that those things are actually pretty gross and disgusting.

I think it might be worth a crack. I'm not going to go so mad as to throw out perfectly good chocolate, but once the current stash is gone, no more.

No chocolate.

No cookies.

No chippies or healthier alternatives to them (baked not fried kind of thing).

No diet coke (gonna be really really hard - tried this so often and failed).

No lollies.

No cake.

Not forever. No, you can't live like that. But daily isn't good either. Because I'm attempting the "abstinance leads to disliking" theory, it's going to have to be none at all for quite a while though. Absolutely none of the above food items.

I need an end-date though. Otherwise I run the risk of mentally feeling like I'm never going to be allowed these things, and splurging/binging.

I am 8.5 kilograms from my goal weight - 75kg. This should be about two to 2.5 months. So Christmas is the end date. That's when the abstinance theory ends. If I have not learnt to dislike those foods in 2.5 months, I'm probably not going to, especially since most of the time I hear this from other people they're at the 2 week or 4 week mark.

There are two exceptions though. Work Christmas functions. Mine and DH's. They'll both be before Christmas. I'm not strong enough to exclude them, too. Of course, cookies, chippies, lollies and cake should be reasonably easy to avoid there. And I can always order a different diet soda, just not diet coke. That leaves chocolate. They're restaurant deals. Skip dessert? Not likely! So we have chocolate only being allowed, only on those two dates and at those two functions. And only as part of dessert, not as "here, have a piece of this block of chocolate we're passing around".

Wish me luck.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANSMAMOMI1 10/19/2007 2:17AM

I have exactly the same problem! Gained about 5 lbs already.
Candy is my downfall.
Thanks for your motivation!

Wish you well


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UNIDENT 10/16/2007 11:38PM

    LOL - successful? Well it's all about priorities, isn't it? I am doing well on the scales. Very well. And I'm pleased if you all are finding strength in that. But currently, the last few weeks, I'm not "living healthily". Oh the scales are still going down, but it's the lifestyle. I would rather know I was eating well and not lose weight than lose weight and yet be eating junk all the time. It's like the super skinny person who eats a really really bad diet. They're just not healthy. It's more important to me to know I'm being healthy than that a number is shrinking. So just to confirm, too, this abstinance kick is not about making that number change any faster! I'm happy with that progress. It's about knowing that I'm being healthy. :)

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UNIDENT 10/16/2007 11:34PM

    It's interesting what you say about the soda, GldnRott. I've heard that diet coke makes you want to snack, or want chocolate. I certainly do have the two together in my mind. Never fear ladies, it's not total complete abstinance from all yummy foods. I certainly still have "treats" that aren't quite as treaty as chocolate etc, like crackers and hummus. I'm just giving up the cream of the crop for a couple of months. I did it for a month when I first started losing weight. No diet coke, no chocolate, no treats. So four days should be a doddle really, that's why I'm gonna try for two months. It's about an hour after I wrote that blog, and I have gone so mad as to give away perfectly good chocolate. I had four squares in my desk drawer. I did have one. I was going to have the rest. Sort of a "farewell" to it. But I decided not to. Do you know, it took me three attempts to find anyone to take it!! Everyone else at work is also trying to "cut back" on "that sort of thing". Anyway, I did that, and I poured the diet coke I had left from today's bottle down the sink. How strong am I? I feel SO GOOD about myself right now. So much better than I thought I would when I thought about doing that.

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DANCINGPENGUIN 10/16/2007 11:00PM

    Oh, gosh, and I think of you as the SUCCESSFUL one! Look at your progress for pete's sake! I'd personally start with a shorter time frame, say, 4 days. See how that goes. Then extend it. Eh, good luck!

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ALLEYCAT_ 10/16/2007 10:50PM

    Good luck...I couldn't do it. I have one favorite treat and I eat it once per day. Skinny Cow Icecream bar. I don't think I could do without it for the very reasons you named...complete abstinence isn't a reality for me...and if I deny myself then one grumpy weekend day I'm eating an entire gallon of Icecream instead of just one little bar. This would be super difficult for me...but hey...I'll be interested to hear about your success...maybe it will show me that I can do without a treat each day too! :P

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GLDNROTT 10/16/2007 10:48PM

    May I make a suggestion here?? I am one of the biggest chocoholics you may find. I love milk, dark, white, you name it. I have Dove Dark Chocolate in my refrigerator that I eat once a day (usually at night if I've done well, sometimes I use it just to up my fat). Could I have done this 3 months ago? Absolutely not!! The bag would have been gone in a 3 days, now it lasts me 2-3 weeks. Okay so what has changed? One simple thing and yet it was one of the hardest to give up...diet Pepsi/Coke. I was a 2-3 bottle a day girl and when I started here, I couldn't get my water in if I was drinking it so I slowly got rid of it. Now I don't HAVE to have chocolate. Do I still want it??? Absolutely!!! But I can control myself now. Don't try to take away all your guilty pleasures or you are setting yourself up for failure. Try just the one...wean yourself off the diet soda. It doesn't matter if it has caffeine in it or not...just get rid of it. Give it about a month and see how you feel. If you still don't feel like you can't control yourself than you can come back and say, "see told ya it wouldn't work!"

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Boy, work do's are hard!

We had a farewell morning tea this morning. I knew it was going to be bad, so I chose something light to bring for lunch to try to accommodate it. Maybe I shoulda just stayed away.

I had two big sausage rolls, a small cheese and bacon pie, a wee ham and cheese sandwich and a piece of fudge at the do this morning.

Then I went back and had half of a cream filled pastry.


Then I went back :( I had a whole cream filled pastry, another piece of fudge and another pie.

(Americans you probably have no idea what I mean when I say "pie" - just accept it's not healthy food).

Then I went down to the shops to post some stuff, was bored, and picked up two bags of chips. Thankfully I had the good sense to beg a colleague to take one away and dispose of it in private. But I ate the other one first.

I'm over my cals for the day (way over) and I haven't had dinner yet. No panic friends, I'm not skipping meals because I ate big. Heck, I couldn't anyway. But I think I'll have a Subway salad for dinner.

And I was soooo close.

What's that mean? Yesterday I was 82.8kg. Today, because of similar bad choices at another work do yesterday, I was 83.2kg. Today's choices won't really help. Tomorrow's a planned blowout - big BBQ to go to. I'm not even gonna try tomorrow, just take it as swings and roundabouts and keep going afterwards.

But 82.8kg. I mean, man. That's only 400grams off of having lost 30 kilos. I won't hit that now till mid-late next week at best.

So close ... and yet ... not.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHAENNA 10/12/2007 7:58PM

    ohh i know your pain. every time i see 87 on the scale i end up eating crap for 3days and go back to 88. dont know what it is about that number. and i know about pies(and sausage rolls and chips!). I like your phrase 'swings and roundabouts' u didnt put the weight on overnight and the change your making is permanent so i see no problem in it taking a week (or 6 months in my case) longer than planned. As long as when u bust you have fun and get straight back on board!! Anyway hope u have an awesome non-food orientated 30kgs party planned!

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GLDNROTT 10/11/2007 11:11PM

    I think that's having your cake and eating it too...ALL DAY LONG! :) LOL You'll be doing just fine and if your pie is anything like our pies...well let's just say I know your "pain."

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I'm fat

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I mean my god, that's not even sticking it out! I swear. I'm not pushing it out. Of course, neither am I sucking it in.

Have you ever seen anything more disgusting?

Honestly, the more that I lose, the fatter I think I am. It's not that I think I'm *getting* fatter. I'm clearly not. Quite the opposite. But I'm getting more thoroughly sickened and disgusted by just how FAT I actually AM. It's like I tolerate less fat on my body now that there really is less fat on my body. I'm distolerating it exponentially faster than I'm losing it.

I mean, look at that. I must have been a total *whale* when I started, right?

Yuk. I mean, I'm getting skinnier. I'm fitting very small sized clothing (in some cases). People at work reacted with shock to me saying I still have 10kg to go and I'd still be "overweight". They said "You haven't got a spare 10kg on you!"

Honeys - THERE IT IS! In all it's glory. The fat that hides under the clothing.

How does small and sexy manage to look so dammed FAT?!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLEYCAT_ 10/11/2007 10:18AM

    Fat? I suppose I could stick my tummy out there and we can compare...betcha I'd win. :) Yes...I like Dani's answer too. I think you have come so far in your journey that you wonder how you can work so hard and not have a flat six-pack by this point. What I hope is that you take from this photo motivation to keep going and pride in how far you've come...thats what I see when I look at this picture.

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FITTYTIFF 10/11/2007 9:56AM

    I agree with Dani300 She is right. I have always known that the scale says I am over wieght yet when I look in the mirror I think I am okay. Sure I could use a little toning. But lets be honest it is more than a little toning I need. So you are not getting fatter you are just realizing where you are. And that is one heck of a wake up call. But do not dwell on this, or the amount you have left that you want to lose. Instead focus on your success. Remeber if you have come this far then you can do anything.
I am and will always be proud of you!

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PHAENNA 10/11/2007 1:49AM

    when i first started spark i read a few ppl discussing a phenomena that happened to them as they lost weight, 'seeming' fatter even though they were losing weight. The general consensus was that when they were at their biggest the were so mentally in denial that they didnt really 'see' their body anymore. As they lost weight and became more ready to face reality their body seemed fatter even though they knew it wasnt.

I think this is a really really good sign unident, the mere fact that you would even post this picture means you are probably much more comfortable with your body than when u started. it is really good to be able to look at your body objectively, to know you are strong enough now and had enough success to not need rose coloured glasses.

And as for you question have i even seen anything so disgusting?.All i see here is honesty and bravery thats inspiring.

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UNIDENT 10/10/2007 11:11PM

    You think that's a bad camera angle? I couldn't get a wide enough lens to get it how it looks from up here where my head is when I lie down! LOL

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AMARANTHA 10/10/2007 10:34PM

    I agree with GLDNROTT! It's just a funny camera angle! You are doing great and should listen to GLDNROTT and not be focusin' on the negative! You ARE gettin' skinny and that's what counts!

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GLDNROTT 10/10/2007 10:12AM

    Okay, first of all, the camera angle on that is not the best sweetie! I've taken pictures like that and I go, how can anyone bear to even look at me??? But this is our own negativity coming out. What if you had taken that same picture back in February? Would you be saying the same thing?? No, you'd be happy with the progress. Now quit being so doggone negative woman!!! Don't make me come all the way over there to kick your butt!!! :) LOL (You'd end up kicking mine I'm sure!)

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Current status

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I decided to get my rings resized. I wasn't going to till I levelled out, but I decided I miss wearing them and for the cost of doing it maybe twice, it was still worth getting it done now. So I took 'em to a jeweller.

She measured their size then gave me the ring of testing rings. My rings were a Q1/2. She looked at what size I'd chosen from the ring and said "Were these given to you?" Ha hahahahah! I felt good!

I'm going down to M1/2. An M sizing. Wow. I can buy rings from catalogues now. Probably still won't, but it's nice to know I can. They usually only show LMNOP sizes.

I've headed this blog 'current status' because it's just about where I am now. I've got the ring thing making me happy. :) I decided this morning my weight does whatever the heck it damn well likes. I eat well and exercise, and it stabilises. I eat badly and don't exercise and it goes down. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? As long as the general progress is down, I guess. I suppose I shouldn't let go entirely and say I can do what I like then, but I'm pleased about today's down. I ate pretty badly yesterday and got no exercise in the last couple of days.

My foot pain turns out to be plantar fasciitis - inflammation of the tendon in the arch of the foot. No more walking/running for a while. This is difficult. How the heck am I gonna work out? I usually manage to get a 30m walk in during the way instead of a lunch break. I can't go to the gym at lunch because I'd need a shower after and it takes too long (including travelling). I have an exercycle at home but I really don't feel like using it at 9.30 at night when I get home from work and school. That 30m walk was conveniently keeping the exercise levels up in the middle of the work day, even though it wasn't much on its own. Now I'm getting way less.

Still, I've put my calorie range back down to reflect it. Hopefully I can manage on a few gym visits a week to get those no-impact workouts in.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLEYCAT_ 10/11/2007 10:11AM

    Oooooh...plantar fasciitis stinks! I had that as well...it came and went and for me was totally weight related, but the pain in your feet is so awful. I feel for you!

Funny...I've seen the same thing with my weight fluctuations...its almost like you occasionally need a "bad" day to kickstart your weight loss again.

I'll just go with whatever works. :)

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GLDNROTT 10/9/2007 8:52PM

    I've had that before Unident and it's not fun. I can't even where heals for more than an hour or so or I'm done for. I'm in my sneakers or my dress birkenstocks. I have been able to wear those Croc like shoes and I usually don't have a problem. It will get better though and that's the good part! Congrats on getting those rings sized though!!

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FITTYTIFF 10/9/2007 5:50PM

    Congrats on the ring size. Sorry about hearing you have to lay off walking. I know it is not what you are use to but have you thought about maybe some yoga or something. For me if I was exercisiing reguarly and then had to stop I know it waould take me forever to get back but if I kept up with something in it;s place not so bad. Just a thought!

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