UNDER.DOG3   4,384
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Mr Sandman Bring Me A Dream

Thursday, May 17, 2012

This feels like a never ending day because my stupid neighbor's son lets their two dogs out at night when his father is working and they bark all night. I think that the last time that I actually slept all night was before they bought the house and moved in back in August of last year. I know this is not helping with me loosing weight and is making my bipolar worse as well, and my body is running on nothing even Tylenol PM is not helping me get and stay to sleep. Just the moment that I start to drift off it starts barking again.
Mister sandman bring me a dream..... emoticon

So I have been trying to be productive since sleep has been avoiding me. The last couple of days I have really been trying to do more exercising, even if it's doing gardening and scrubbing floors. Wednesday I scrubbed some of the living room and dinging room floor to see if I could get some of the dirt out of it, but sadly it didn't work. I think that since it was day 2 of trying to find a product that works that I might either have to throw my hands in the air and give up or try again at a later time. At the moment a new carpet would be fab but the 1500 + installation fee that comes with the new carpet puts it out of range at the moment.

I worked some more on my upside down gardens and have to get some more dirt for them this morning in order to plant my cucumbers and banana peepers that I have for them. I might put another plant or two in them still since I have some room.

But for now all I can do is pray for a few hours sleep. zzzzz

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AQUAGIRL08 5/17/2012 10:25AM

    Here's hoping that you'll get some sleep tonight! Hang in there!

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32 going on 29

Monday, May 14, 2012

It's been a little over 9 months today since I started trying to get myself back together. Since August 1st of last year I have went from 252 to today *drum rolls* 220.8! I had set a goal of like 175 by August of this year but realistically I have been thikning that by setting that large of a goal it makes me think that well if I gain a lb this week I have another week to loose it. It realistically sets me up for failture, so as of today I am shooting for mini goals. Next mini goal is 210 by my birthday when I will be *sigh* 29, July 16th. That gives me about 9 weeks to loose about 10.2 lbs. Which I know with how I yoyo eat and exercise is going to be a feat in itself. This is the first time that I can ever remember loosing weight and being able to keep it off 32 lbs or it.
I have always been a "big girl" my dh said that he liked "bigger" girls so my weight was fantastic to him (back then I was 175 and that was in 2001 *sigh* again). After some severe illnesses, loss of job, depression, taking care of my terminally ill father, and a million other things I lost myself and my weight. I am now having to pay for the torture and stress that I had put on my body for years and I am falling apart at the ripe of old age of 28.
This year I have...not sure how to say this without souding b*tchy but I have asked some people to leave my life. They were creating drama and making me feel less of a person. Cleansing my mind from them has been hard, and not working once again makes me feel ick. But I am trying to clean and do things around the house, do yoga when my back hurts or not, go walking a few times a week even if it's just around the block with my 3 dogs (really I have to burn more than 50 calories around the block being pulled by 3 doxies right and then carrying the 3rd when she gets tired.)
So I am feeling accomplished, I totally cheated today and ate a slice of pizza at sams and had a soda which I never do, with my pcos and stuff I try to stay away from all that crap when I inputted my stuff into the tracker I was pleasently suprised to see that I had more than enough calories and etc left for a nice meal (btwn 180-600 score!).
I plan on blogging more, I find it helps me relax and getting things on paper helps me think them over and understand them.
So today I am 32 lbs lighter and going on 29 years old in a few months :)

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    You're doing everything right! emoticon emoticon

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AQUAGIRL08 5/14/2012 10:11PM

    Congratulations on losing the 32 pounds! This is a lifestyle change not a diet. I'm confident that you will eventually get to your goal weight. Sometimes it just takes us longer than we'd like. Keep up the good work!!!

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Chocolate I hate to love you!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

So I craved something chocolate not biggey right? WRONG I went to the store and was just going to get some pb m&m's in a large bag to much on for a couple weeks. Turns out they had a sale on some of my other fav sweets in the little movie theater boxes so I got raisinettes x 2 and then a butterfinger..hey there were 3 for $3.00.
Anyways no biggey bought them came home ate the butterfingers....entire box that is..ok no more sweets right? WRONG I open one of the rainsinettes and start munching down on them. They get too sweet so I stop a few handfulls in and before I think about it I have already opened the bag of pb m&m's and I am munching on them...
On top of it I tried on a pair of pants that used to be loose and not well, they aren't. So I am bummed and trying not to eat anymore chocolate.
Sorry had to vent *sigh*
Chocolate I hate to love you! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FEMALEWRITER 6/8/2010 2:38PM

    Unless you have no problem "crunching ice", you could try putting the chocolate in the freezer and only taking a small amount out at a time. So far, it's working for me and my dark Hershey Kisses.

Otherwise, I have the same problem as you...if I brought home the same stuff. I'd be munching through those candies faster than I would realize what I was doing. I just have to avoid the candy aisle for the most part and only pick up what can easily be frozen.

Anyway, good luck on your goals and I hope you have a better day.


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    LOL, been there! I have a hiding place for my chocolate. When I give in and buy a few Carmellos or peanut M&M's or Mounds, stuff I really, really like, I put them in a hidden spot in my kitchen. There've been times I've totally forgotten that I did that and run into them a month later, lol. But I eat 1 and hide the rest. Sometimes the urge hits me and I recall I have my stash. Knowing I can come back to it when it hits me again, I'm satisfied.

My Mom says that would never work for her, lol. She says she'd just raid her stash until it was gone. Find a trick so that you can have that bite when you really need it and satisfy yourself that you can have it again. It's not the last bite of chocolate you'll ever have!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Helll Mr. 1 inch please go away for good

Monday, June 07, 2010

I have lost *drum roll* 19 pounds! BUT I have not lost anything else but one inch in my stomach which seems to come and go every other week just in time for weigh in.
So now I am upset, I am not upset that I have lost this weight, I really am happy, I want to keep loosing but I wanted to see just a little progress on the scale and in my clothing. So far I am still just as "big" in my clothing..not cool
I am at home not working, again, but I am still trying to walk every day now at least around the block if nothing more. Today I used some ankle weights that were about 5 lbs each and wow did it add something to my walk, it was all I could do to just make it around the block once. I felt like I could barley lift my feet. I know I have lost 19 lbs so it should be easy for me to cart that much more around, but I didn't loose it from my legs or feet so it was H#ll.
Walking around today with those weights made me realize that I need to keep loosing weight because that 5 lbs that I had on my ankles really did make a difference and ever 5 lbs I loose really does help.
My goal for this month is to keep off what I have lost and then try and loose 5 more.
Now that the local farmers market is in town every week it's hard not to stop and grab some great fruit and veggies, but I know it's not really what I eat but more of how much of it I eat, it's just hard to say no to fresh sweet juicy watermelon and cantaloupe.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UNDER.DOG3 6/8/2010 11:31AM

    No I haven't been doing cardio, just walking and trying to keep my heart rate up to 155 so it's in the burn zone.
Thanks for the suggestion I guess I need to start doing some of the Spark cardio videos every day.

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ECASPERS 6/8/2010 7:52AM

    I can relate to your feelings. I have been losing inches off of my legs and hips but have not lost it in the belly. From the great articles on SparkPeople I have discovered that the middle is the last to come off and it will only go away with cardio work. Are you also doing strengthening exercises? I have added those to my workout on a daily basis as well.

Hang in there - it will eventually come off.

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Major Set Back

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I thought I was doing so good and then a lot of stress came into my life in the last week and I have been eating so poorly plus the gym has been non existent I don't feel like going and don't care about going... in other words the black cloud of depression has once again joined me.
I am bipolar so this is nothing new, it's not as bad of a depression this time I just keep eating and eating and eating.. did I mention that 56oz of peanut m&m's are good, it only took me 3 days to eat.
I know that I went backwards with the diet and loosing weight, but right now it feels like I went so far back that I can't make any progress going forwards...

emoticon I feel like an umpalompa today

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HERBLADYANN 6/7/2010 7:52PM

    I back slide too. Usually at work when I'm stressed. Just remember each meal is another chance to start again. I write down every bite in my food journal. I can look at it during the day and know that I have had plenty to eat. I am not really hungry but looking for comfort. Do you keep a journal? If not, it might help.


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GRAMVICKI 2/21/2010 1:33PM

    You can do it!! One day at a time. Never loose thought of that.

Hugs, Vicki

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KATRENIAH 2/20/2010 2:39PM

    Don't let this setback stop you - sometimes we take a few steps back, but that doesn't mean we can't change directions again and move forward. A friend and I created what we call a "WonderWoman" list (no relation to the superhero - it's about women who are striving to be the best they can be), and first on the list is "I will not be overwhelmed by the magnitude of my task". For me, that means taking things in small chunks. For example, with this exercising and eating healthy thing, I started by getting all temptation out of my area. That meant I had to work even harder to eat that Ben & Jerry's ice cream - I'd have to get in my car, go to the store. Then, I went hour by hour. This hour I will eat a healthy breakfast. The next hour, I'd tell myself that I would drink two cups of water. The next hour, I might tell myself that I would do a workout DVD. I took it hour by hour, and by the end of the day, I looked back and realized that I'd done it.

I'm not saying that this works for everyone, but you might want to try it. If an hour's still too much, go by the half-hour, the minute. If you fail, you'll have another minute right around the corner that could help propel you forward.

I still have a long way to go, but I'm determined not to beat myself up over slips. We all do it; you are not alone. You can do it too. Be positive and don't be so hard on yourself. You've signed up to SparkPeople; that's a good sign. You've blogged about your tough time; that too is a step in the right direction.

Ignore what you've done wrong in this past week. Look forward to this upcoming week and know that at this moment, anything is possible.

I know you can do it.

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EMIROO 2/20/2010 2:31PM

    I know what you mean. I've been backsliding for the last week, until yesterday, and I already feel better. You just can't let yourself think, oh well I already screwed up, may as well keep going! I get into that mentality from time to time and it's so unhealthy on both the physical and emotional fronts! Just don't worry about last week, think about today and tomorrow and what you can do different.

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