Wednesday, October 16, 2013
I want to thank all my Spark Friends for the Kind words, advice and encouragement yesterday...
I lost the Binge Battle again yesterday.... :( I don't even want to talk about he calories I have eaten the past couple of days.
I think I am out to self destruct myself....WHY? I have been asking myself. It seems I have the need to sabotage my happiness...Why? Because I WANT TO!!!
Well one of my favorite sayings is "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and continue on" So that is exactly what I'll do. Today is a NEW day...
I think I eat out of Boredom-Worry and Stress and don't know when to stop. So I need to investigate this and find ways to make positive changes. Plus I need to feel positive about my accomplishments and stop feel bad about myself...So I have decided to make a list of the things I have to feel good about myself...So here goes!
* I'm a Mother to a couple of very special children...Well my babies might not be exactly kids anymore but They are very special to me..and a reason to make sure I'm around for a very long time to see them mature and make lives for themselves
* I'm a Wife, so many of my friends have gone through the heartache of losing a spouse from Divorce. No we don't haven't had the easiest journey but we do love each other and I know he will always be there for me no matter what life throws at me.
*I have my health. I could look at this and say I don't...but that's not true. Yes I have been diagnosed as Pre-Diabetic(long family history of this dreaded disease) but with the right plan the disease could never progress past that point. Overweight Yes I Am...but I have lost over 30 pounds and that had to help the situation and is a start to where I want to be..
*I have a job..Yes It is a crazy hectic Job and sometimes I wish I could move on to something different. But this Job has taken care of my family for several years now and I am thankful to have it, in a time when lots of people are trying to find work. I have made some wonderful friends in this place and they are very dear to my heart. Not to mention I will give myself a small pat on the back, because I know I am good at what I do as stressful as it is and I must admit I like a challenge.
*Family-Guys I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I have the BEST! I have parents who love me, have sacrificed so I can have all my life and taught me to Live each day in the eyes of GOD. Yes I have strayed from this from time to time, but I know what is right and wrong because of them. I have a wonderful sister who always has my back and a Niece who has my Heart! I had grandparents who taught me values and the meaning of a hard day of work and most importantly undying LOVE. I have a host of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins whom I may not talk to everyday but know they will be there for me if I every need them...This is what I call a FAMILY!
As I sit here at my desk, looking out the window into my back yard from time to time. I wonder WHY? do you try to destroy your weight loss goals and one word comes to mind "FEAR" This may seem like a strange word to use but that's what it is I Fear I will be a failure and you see my friends Failure is not acceptable to me. I find myself thinking of the words I have told my children before and after every athletic event they have participated in "You CAN be and DO anything you want, if you give it all your HEART!" Of course then I always add "NEVER settle for second best!" I know they think I'm crazy and most the time my son looks at me like PLEASE Mom you don't always have to win? That's OK I didn't think my daughter listened either, but as she grows older every year I see she is listening and I see my words come to life in other areas of her life and I know I will see the same in my son one day! So why do I fear my own words?
As I finish this BLOG I look up on the wall and see the Plaque my Daughter made me for my racing bibs...Yes I have 2 on it already and I'm very Proud of them. But it's not the bibs I am thinking about right now it's the words on the Plaque!
"ME, MYSELF and I THAT'S WHY?"
Not to mention that Heartfelt Note on the back about Sacrifice and Never Giving up! As Tears stream down my face while reading it again...I see something wonderful in this Note...I see MY WORDS! You may wonder what those words are well Here you go "NEVER GIVE UP!" I may share the note someday but for now I'll keep it for myself..
Until Tomorrow my Friends! KEEP SPARKING!