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Hot, but Yet so Cold

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Fall weather is slowly fighting harder and harder to break through the remnants of summer, here in Las Vegas. Early morning temperatures have hovered in the low 70's with the occasional dip into the upper 60's, but just as it seemed the daily highs were going to drop into the 80's, then pushed back up around 99.

Well, the forecast calls for that all to finally change as of next week. Tuesday is forecast for a high off 77. This morning, I could feel the change beginning to kick in. Yesterday was probably 72 when I ran at 5:30am. This morning it was 65 and I could feel the chill in the air and almost felt like i needed gloves or a long sleeve shirt. Yes, I know it's only 65 degrees, but at 5-10% humidity and after a summer of non-stop 100+, 65 degrees feels downright freezing.

Speaking of running... after my last blog post I knew it was time to stop whining and start acting. I got my butt in gear and pushed myself hard to get to bed around 10pm instead of loafing around on my computer until 11:30. I also pushed myself to wake up and run, even tho I was just running 2 miles at a time.

This week I've practically slept through my runs as my daughter has been waking up a couple times a night this week for no apparent reason. But, I'm getting my runs in. Just one more run this week will give me 3 consecutive weeks where I've run 3 days a week.

I'm making progress!

I'm still running slower than I have been and my legs still feel tired and sluggish, but I know that if I keep at it and get more sleep, I will get back into shape and things will turn around.

Onward!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATMAGNET 10/5/2012 12:09PM

    Here in Memphis, I understand about 65 degrees seeming cold. I usually start my runs at 4:30-5 AM, and it's been in the 50s lately, though I've still been running in a t-shirt and shorts or capris (Yankee stubbornness at its best).

Kudos on your 3 week streak! Keep it going!

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LJCANNON 10/5/2012 10:38AM

    emoticon And I thought that Oklahoma Weather was Crazy!! It keeps switching from 90's and 100's to 50's and 60's. And, You Are RIGHT!! 65 after a wave of 90's and 100's is Bone Chilling!!
emoticon Congratulations on getting your Runs in!!

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THENEWMANDA 10/4/2012 5:03PM

    I remember that weather it used to frustrate me! Not that it's better here, I had to join the gym because aparently MT weather is more unpredictable than Vegas weather. On tuesday it was 80-85 and then yesterday morning it was 35 and it snowed!!!! So.. I hear ya. Good job staying consistant on the runs. I ran for the first time this week since four weeks ago when I injured my foot. I'm SO ridiculously sore today after 3 days straight. All we can do is push through right? You can do it! I bet once the weather does start really cooling off you'll run more. Don't beat yourself up too much, the consistancy is great. Good luck!!

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Burning Inside

Monday, September 17, 2012

I am no longer a runner.

Or at least that's how I feel inside.

And it's not because I don't want to be one. It's because I don't feel I have the time or energy to be one.

And the feeling stinks.

So why haven't I done anything about it?

Back in March, I was hovering around the 170lbs mark. I was as fast and in as good of shape as I had ever been. I was ready to actually race a half marathon; and I was ready to complete two more in April on back-to-back days. I was in great shape. I felt awesome. I felt like could do anything.

Then one day it all changed.

Okay, not all in one day, but it might as well have.

I hurt my back and had to miss my March race. But then I ran the 2 races in April and was back on top, again. But then, I got lazy. I had a race coming up the end of June, but I got lazy and decided I deserved a rest and let myself sleep in a few too many times.

I tried to get back into the swing of things, but then I hurt my back again, this time worse than I did back in March. I was barely able to finish the race in June and then took more time off. I didn't sign up for any new races. I stopped getting enough sleep. I let life get in the way.

Now, here I am and I am barely running. After my last post on Aug 26, I ran a grand total of 3 times. Two of those were last week and all of them were only 2 miles. Last Thursday I weight in at 188.8; around 20lbs more than the weight I held pretty steady for the past year.

My last blog I recognized 6 excuses for my exercise drought:
1) Summer heat
2) Laziness
3) Not getting enough sleep at night
4) No goal race to work towards
5) Not being selfish enough
6) Being really busy

#6 isn't going to change, but the rest are solvable.

#1 is already changing. It's been around 68-70 degrees on the mornings I did run, and I'm so used to the 80+ degree weather that I nearly felt going back inside and putting on long sleeves.

I haven't signed up for a race, yet, because I'm not being selfish enough.

I'm getting a little more sleep, but life, a toddler, and 2-year molars are conspiring to keep me up late and waking multiple times a night. But, those are bad excuses because I trained for a half marathon beginning when my daughter was 6 weeks old and waking throughout the night, every night. If I could do it then, I could do it now.

But, I don't have the goal to work toward and it's killing me. And it's a vicious cycle. I'm tired and not running, so I don't feel I'm in shape to sign up and run a race and ; so, since I'm not in shape or signed up for a race, I don't have the motivation to sign up for one. And around and around I go.

And the way to break that cycle? Run. But, if it was that easy, I'd be doing it, already.

It's gotten so bad that I barely read or post anything on SparkPeople, anymore. I used to come here and read everyone's race reports and get so filled full of motivation. I loved it!

Now I can barely get past the first paragraph of a race report before my eyes glaze over and move on. Nothing against your race reports. They are still awesome. I don't even bother to look at the message boards anymore. I can't even get myself to run, so who am I to give out advice to the new and struggling runners?

So, instead, I write a blog about how frustrated and depressed I am. Boy, what I whiner I'm turning out to be!

Sounds like I need to go for a run.

*sigh*

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 9/21/2012 12:27PM

    Sometimes we have to put the action ahead of the feeling. Once you're DOING it, you start to GET it... or get it again. :) I hope you got that run, or that you can soon!

Wishing you a ROCKIN' day!


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INTHEFASTLANE2 9/20/2012 3:38PM

  (that only took me 3 days to get my password figured out....)

I felt this way for years, even though I was still running most days. But, it was such a going through the motion type of running, I felt like it didn't even count.

Having small children is hard. Getting up early is hard. Not falling asleep on the floor once you are awake is hard.

Not feeling selfish for doing something for you is hard, especially when you have kids and work all day.

For me, I had to start making race goals. And not a lot of them. I started out a race every 6 months. I don't race very often because racing feels selfish when I have kids who have activities and three gazillion places to be. But I needed a goal. Also, this was enough time for me to create a base, but still have an actual plan. At the same time, I made them small races with no pressure on them.

Or, don't run. Do something else. Go to the gym as a family. Then you aren't sacrificing family time. Take a spin class, or another cardio class that interests you. Take an opportunity to free your mind of the pressure of having to do our be something that you have in your mind that you need to do. Running will be there when you are good and ready.

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RUNNER12COM 9/18/2012 5:27PM

    Who are YOU to give advice? How about a person who has experienced every swing of emotion and fought his way through the bad and celebrated every bit of the good?

Helping others right now may be the single best way for you to work through your own slump.

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BRANDIMACD 9/17/2012 10:47PM

    Take a deep breath and take a moment to think about how far you've come in the last 5 years. I think it also might help to take a little bit of pressure off of yourself and stop beating yourself up. There is no clock ticking. You will get back into it and gradually. It will happen. You are awesome.

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TIMOTHYNOHE 9/17/2012 10:29PM

    Do you remember how you started running in the first place? You might try to recreate that.

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SKIRNIR 9/17/2012 10:16PM

    Find a shorter race to run like a 5K or 10K, or even one for charity. IE sign up for a shorter race that hopefully you won't feel totally out of shape to run for, but use it to get yourself training. I have been doing virtual timed 10K walks once a week.

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MARATHONDAD 9/17/2012 8:35PM

    I think that runner is burning inside u buddy just find him. enough excuses man get up and run u love to run and u are a RUNNER!!!!!

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EMMANYC 9/17/2012 6:50PM

    Oh, I hear you. I've been there. I've done (not run) that. I've got back troubles, too, and they derailed my HM plans earlier this year. And the lack of sleep - that's a hard one, too, and I understand that vicious circle that arises because you're too tired to exercise, yet you know that exercise gives you energy.

I think that you will get out of this funk when you're ready. And I'm wondering if maybe one of the things that's holding you back is a feeling (perhaps one you're not even aware of consciously) that you need to jump back in at the level you were at when you were in great shape - or otherwise it's not worth doing.

Maybe all you need is to plan for (and run) 20 minutes twice this week. Run 'til you're tired, then walk 'til you're bored. And then do it again.

And find a 5K or 10K for the end of October. Tell me where you live and I'll find one for you.

Or if you want, run a virtual 5K on Saturday, October 13 and support the Terry Fox Run for Cancer Research. (Terry Fox lost a leg to cancer in his late teens and vowed to run across Canada to raise money for cancer research. He made it more than half-way (3300 out of 6000 miles), running the equivalent of a marathon a day, before the cancer came back and he had to quit. He died just before his 23rd birthday, and since then, tens of millions have been raised as part of his marathon of hope.

Here's a link:

http://www.terryfoxrun
nyc.org/faf/help/helpAboutOrg.a
sp?ievent=1024645&lis=1&kntae10
24645=1923FD6309E844CFABA940249
79C94F2

I think that runner is still inside you and she wants to get out and run!

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The Low Down UpDate

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

So...

In case you are dying to know (and judging by my empty inbox you aren't)... I've actually managed to get my rear in gear and pull off a few runs in the past week.

Nothing major, tho (I spell it "tho" because it drives my wife nuts. Okay, not really, but it does annoy her. But, I digress.).

After finishing my sixth half marathon in June, I've dialed things back a bit. And when I say "a bit" I mean I pretty much quit running entirely.

Now, that wasn't really my intent. That's just how it happened.

Let me explain. Okay, that may take too much time, so let me summarize it for you.

March - random back tightness and pain for 2 weeks derailed what was likely my best chance at breaking 2 hours for a half marathon and kept me from running with my friend who had trained for 9 months specifically to run with me.

April - ran half marathons on back-to-back days.

May - ran off and on, but a busy month lead to a few missed runs.

June - Hurt my back again, this time doing weight training. Missed a lot of runs before and after my injury, but still somehow managed to baby myself enough to muddle through my sixth half marathon that was supposed to be run in 110 degree heat, but mercifully ended up only being 95 degrees.

July - Ran a grand total of 3 times.

August - Ran a couple times while visiting my sister (being around other runners is great motivation), but then didn't run again after I got home.

So, after getting home and continuing not to run, I perfected the thousand yard stare and came to the conclusion that the cause of my recent malaise has been a number of things:
1) Summer heat
2) Laziness
3) Not getting enough sleep at night
4) No goal race to work towards
5) Not being selfish enough
6) Being really busy

All of these excuses were ones I had the power to remedy, at least partially. So, I went to work.

The solution? Run.

Yeah, yeah, if it was that easy, I would already be doing it.

So, I started trying to get more sleep by going to bed earlier and taking naps on the weekends.

I also began looking into local races that I could train for.

After a week of trying to get myself up in the morning, but failing, I finally woke up early one day, but didn't run. Two days later, I managed to run on the treadmill in the gym in the evening.

That seemed to be a good jump-start.

Saturday I woke up to run. I had to get up early which is hard on a weekend and I hit the snooze button once, but I managed to get out and do 3 miles. It was a tough slog and I was definitely slower and somewhat out of shape, but I finished.

Today I woke up to run, and despite getting myself distracted with a few household chores, I still went and did my 3 miles. My legs were like concrete and really dragged and wanted to stop or cut my run short, but I pushed through it.

So, I'm not sure my motivation is back, yet. Actually, I can tell you it's not. Maybe cracking the door open a bit, but it's not here, yet. While my heart wants me to go out and train for another half marathon or five, my brain is telling me to hold my horses. I am not in the shape I was 2, 3, or even 4 months ago. I really need to dial things back and train for some shorter races for a while. Work on my speed. Start enjoying running, again. Plus, I don't really have the time right now to do the 8-14 mile training runs I need to do to train for another half. Plus, they are so darn expensive. I just need to keep myself in shape with some shorter runs that are mentally easier, but still just as good at keeping me healthy.

So, I have 3 runs under my belt from the past week. As long as I can keep this momentum up, I should be feeling better about myself in the next week or two and maybe then I can make a decision on a 5k or 10k to run. That will at least keep up my running base (and maybe get my speed back) until the next time Ragnar comes calling (yes, I'm looking at you, John).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HERBIEDS 8/22/2012 2:40PM

    emoticon

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CBAILEYC 8/21/2012 3:55PM

    You give hope to those of us who still aren't able, for whatever mental roadblock reason, aren't back on the streets running again!
Nicely done! Here's to keeping it up.
emoticon
C~

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KFEASEL13 8/21/2012 3:38PM

    emoticon

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Emotional Eating = NOT WORTH IT

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

20 oz. Dr Pepper at 9:30pm = 250 cal and a sleepless night
+ 3 m&m cookies at 9:30pm = 360 cal
- 3 mile run at 5:30am = 400 cal
= NOT WORTH IT

However, I did fix our downstairs toilet and replaced the nightlight in the kitchen and killed all the spiders on the front porch, so it wasn't a completely wasted night.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCFERRET 8/22/2012 4:59AM

    but it was only 3 cookies - 1 would have been better, but it could have been 10! Just try for better choices and remember to live your life with joy.

It sounds like you made the best of it and got come things done that might not otherwise have been on the list.

Comment edited on: 8/22/2012 4:59:49 AM

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A-NEW-PAULA 8/22/2012 3:12AM

    How many spiders did you kill? You had to of burned off at least 1-10 calories a piece depending on how hard you had to work at killin' them!!!
emoticon
Fixing the toilet that seems like you had to of burned some calories there too! I figure if we are doing anything other than sitting around on the couch it counts as some kind of activity!!!
But seriously, it isn't what you do one day or occasionally. It is what you do most of the time that counts! I hope the M&M cookies were at least yummy!!!
emoticon
Best Wishes,
Paula

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RUNNER12COM 8/21/2012 2:07PM

    Not sure how I said no to the pint of Chunky Monkey last night, but I did. I ate two pieces of licorice, instead, and decided that enough was enough.

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How Low is Low?

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

My family went on a vacation for 2 weeks at the end of July/beginning of August.

Before we went on vacation, I hadn't gone for a run at all in at least 2 or 3 weeks (maybe more?). I knew I needed to run again, but I was always tired and unmotivated. Every morning I was exhausted and could barely wake up for work when my alarm went off.

During my second week of vacation, I was at my sister's house and she's always been the runner in the family, plus my nephew was starting to get into running, too, so I ran 3 days with them which was quite refreshing.

We ran 3, 3, and 4.5 miles. I ran faster and easier than I expected, despite all the time off which gave me hope for when we got home from vacation.

However, when we got home, i was just as tired and unmotivated as I was before vacation.

So, yesterday I decided that my problem was that I had no goal. I had no races to train for. I needed to sign up for a race to give myself a reason to want to get up early to run - or at least a reason to force myself to run. Maybe that "Oh, crap, I have a race and I'm not sure I'm in good enough shape so I better run!" feeling would be enough to get me to wake up and run even if I didn't actually want to.

So, I looked on-line for some races and found a couple I could run and put them on my calendar. And then last night I set my alarm an hour early so I could get up and do a 3 mile run.

I tried to get to bed at a reasonable time, last night. This morning, I wasn't too tired and woke up with my alarm and got up and got dressed to go run. I walked downstairs, drank some water, got my running shoes on, and I was all set to walk out the door and go run...

And then I didn't.

I felt hot and sweaty and I hadn't even walked out the door, yet. I knew it was going to be warm outside (85 degrees). I was also worried that I might wake up my daughter and face the wrath of my angry wife if I left and our daughter woke up while I was gone. But, mostly it was just me not wanting to sweat anymore than I already was from just standing there and not feeling like I had the energy to actually run.

So, I cursed myself and then took off my running shoes and went back upstairs and got in bed and went back to sleep for another hour...

And then woke up late because I hadn't turned my alarm back on.

That's a pretty low feeling. To actually wake up and be 3 steps from walking out the door... and then to go back upstairs and go back to sleep.

But, there's still a chance I will have time when I get home from work to at least get in a mile or 2.

And maybe if I keep telling myself that, I will actually do it.

Maybe.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 8/15/2012 3:15PM

    That's one reason I do the large challenges, so I can use the momentum to push me through the down days.

Hang in there. You'll rally!

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CBAILEYC 8/15/2012 2:04PM

    Keep trying. One of these days/nights/mornings.. you'll make it out the door and down the block then.. it'll be like you hadn't had any time off at all.
emoticon
C~

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ACICEDA 8/15/2012 1:27PM

    I sympathize with your struggle at the moment.

I find I am in a similar boat myself. Trouble is I have a HM at the beginning of September and well....I also do better with a goal and as it gets closer. Thus, on Monday I jogged out a couple miles and walked another three or so totaling 5 miles. It's wasn't very fast but it didn't need to be. I just can't seem to do it in the mornings when I first get up. I've taken to running in the evenings on top of a weight and diet regime that is hopefully going to help save my knees a little bit in 3 weeks by dropping a few pounds.

Despite the time off and your own journey, set that goal. As they say whether it's a 5 minute mile or a 10 minute mile...it is still a mile and by the time you've convinced yourself to go for the run you could already have been back at home. That's my mindset for the next few weeks.

Enjoy.



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