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still here

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Last night, I clicked the "add a blog entry" link in my In my sparkpoints tracker. I opened the blogging window and...started to cry. This crying thing, so unlike me, was a trend yesterday. When the nurse at the clinic I've been going to since my husband lost his job (and our insurance) back in March '09 asked what was going on today, I teared up a little. When, before she left the room to bring in the PA, she asked if she could pray for me, I thought she meant to add me to her prayers. I'm not religious. At all. And folks preaching at me is generally a huge annoyance that I only don't react angrily to because I admire their ability (and respect their right) to believe. As long as it doesn't cross the line into crazy wingnut. Plus, I'm just a nice person.

I totally didn't expect her to touch my arm and bow her head and ask with soft voice, in great detail, that I be healed... Yeah, I'm tearing up again. I'd never seen her before, she didn't know me. But to finally be open and honest, to say to another person "I need more help, I can't do this anymore" and for her to respond, not only by bringing me a PA with the powers to give me better drugs but to offer me *her god* as well?

So. The blog window was still open when I sat down to my desk today. Still here. As am I. I got some new meds, one for which the second sentence of the thirteen paragraph IMPORTANT WARNING (as opposed to the plain old ordinary regular warnings, which follow) mentions "may cause death" and another to help counteract some of the other--non death--side effects of the first. Oh, and I got a parking upgrade. But only a temporary tag because this new med is going to work and help my knees so I can walk for exercise and train for another damn 3-Day, if I want.

Right? Right.


One size

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I bought a knee brace today. It has metal hinges and wraps around, rather than slipping over the foot. I'm having a hard time reaching my foot without hurting my knee. Plus, you know, fat thighs just make things like a slip over knee brace roll down.

So anyway. Yeah. Knee brace. I was hoping it would help get me back out walking sooner. Blah. Just as I feared, the damn thing does. not. fit. I can stretch the lower (below knee) band tight enough to overlap but the top one is several inches from meeting, much less overlapping. Swelling and fat. The very things that contribute to my knees being so screwed up I can't walk keep me from wearing a knee brace that might help.

I need to lose weight in hopes I'll be able to exercise in order to lose weight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HCROSS4 9/23/2010 5:45PM

    You can make a connector piece to make it fit. My Dr. Has had me make a piece to make mine larger before emoticon

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MCSNYDER1 9/23/2010 5:23PM

    My husband has the same kind of brace. He's pretty heavy and short, which makes for "stocky" legs. His doctor measured him and then ordered it. His fits really well. Where did you get yours?

Take care of yourself!!!

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Huh. Just a couple posts ago, I talked about how much I hate doing the same damn thing over and over again. Um. That was something like three years ago. And here I am again. Bigger than ever. How truly disappointing.

The good news is, I quit smoking almost seven months ago. After thirty five years. Sure, I quit a few times over those years but never for very long. And never forever. Now, it's forever. Because I know if I ever picked up another cigarette, I couldn't do this again. I did it, I'm done...I'm an ex-smoker for good and ever. Amen.

I went easy on myself. OK, really it wasn't easy. It was permission to eat whatever I wanted. Chocolate and chips? Why not? As long as I don't smoke. Donuts, bagels, homemade french fries, cinnamon rolls. Yes, I'm a carbovore.

And now? Now I can't walk. I've been off my RA meds for far too long (med insurance, yes we need it. I'm in too much pain. The extra weight makes it even worse. I need to take some pressure off my knees to see if that makes them better enough to function again with meds.

So. Here I am, again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 9/22/2010 10:44PM

    welcome back. congrats on giving up smoking. sorry to hear that uve gained.

glad ur back!

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it IS possible to eat well on the run...

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Dave (my older son) bought tickets to a concert in Milwaukee (250 miles away) to take his ex-girlfriend. She wouldn't go with him so he'd decided he didn't want to go alone. I didn't want him to waste the money he'd spent on the tickets or to miss a band he really wanted to I volunteered to be his roadtrip and concert date. Me + punk = serious migraine, lol.

Anyway, We'd rented a car for the trip and it wasn't ready when we went to pick it up. I ended up going out to lunch with Peter beforehand. I had a turkey reuben and some fries. Worried about that since Dave and I planned to stop for dinner too. Dave had all kinds of *mostly* healthy snacks for the drive but I just nursed a huge bottle of water. We got stuck in some heavy traffic through Chicago and it was too late for a sit down dinner. We got coffee at a drive-thru Starbucks and decided to eat after the show.

Had more water at the concert...which was great --the music was good and the young crowd was fun to watch. No headache! Everything nicer was closed by the time we got out so we ended up at Dennys. I had a mushroom and cheese omelette made with Egg Beaters, some hashbrowns, glass of iced tea and more water.

Just logged everything from lunch yesterday through lunch today and I came in mid-cal range (1390) and just 1 gm over max fats (better than expected) for yesterday. Today's (including my Denny's breakfast) counts (820 cals through lunch) are on track so far too.

I done good! :-)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAUNH20 3/24/2007 5:23PM

    You're absolutely right it's possible most every place, even the worst of places such as McDonalds now have something healthy. About the only place I have found in my travels that has nothing healthy really is a local sports bar I go to where everything is fried or "doubled" or extra-cheesed. I don't go there any more.

As for eating out, whether it's planned or spur of the moment, it's one of all of our major challenges. I think women have it a bit easier ordering out with friends because women are complimented by their friends and/or looked upon as it being something positive if you order healthy food, whereas guys will view it as a sign of weakness and an affront to your macho-ness or whatever. I have noticed this since I've started ordering healthier food at places, I'll get comments from the gals at my table that are encouraging and nice, whereas the guys always say comments such as "a salad?? wtf?" or "what is the problem, you always eat that health junk, one plate of wings isn't going to kill you".

I know it's quite easy to say "oh just ignore em" but that is easier said than done really. I do ignore them but I can't say their jabs at how I eat isn't exactly annoying, because it is.

Anyways, with that being said, my favorite sports bar, Buffalo Wild Wings, has something I enjoy that isn't bad, naked, un-breaded, skinless chicken skewers with some hot sauce on the side. I usually get that and an order of celery sticks and one side of Ranch dressing, which really is the most unhealthy aspect of all of it. But sure is a heck of a lot better than my old order of 6 or 12 breaded hot wings and a side order of chili/cheese fries!

Anyways, not to get off on a tangent but good luck with your continued success...I looked at your photo gallery and you can see a huge difference. The odd thing about weight loss is how much younger it makes you look. Comparing your 218 pound picture to your 184 pound picture, you look 10 years younger. Congralations!!

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today's 1 Day Challenge

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

1) Make a list of at least 3 reasons you want to lose weight

2) Post one thing that YOU WILL DO TODAY that will help you reach your goal

My 3 reasons--

1. to buck the family trend of obesity, diabetes and heart disease (both my grandfathers died of heart attacks, my dad has type 2 diabetes, my mom and her mom both have had their knees mom, her brother and his two kids have all had weight loss surgery--scary! )

2. to feel better about and in my body--more confidence and energy

3. to set a good, healthy example for my children and teach them how to be healthier so they're not stuck in the family cycle of bad health

I am going to exercise (either walk/bike/skate outside or ride my stationary bike) and stay within my calorie and nutrients range


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