Sunday, May 02, 2010
I have been anxious to get back to SparkPeople, because I felt like in the past it gave me a real boost to help me with eating healthier and exercising more. My first time here I lost 53 pounds, and I felt really good about it. The problem was, though, that it wasn't sustainable for me. I have since gained all that weight right back.
In some ways my life has improved drastically since then. I have focused on taking better care of myself, have become actively creative, have reconciled with my spouse. I am happier, feel more authentic, and feel like I am on the right track in a lot of ways. I am doing the things that I want with my life, and I just like myself a whole lot more.
BUT I haven't been able to get myself in a good pattern with incorporating exercise and better eating. I do yoga consistently about 3 times per week, but I've stopped walking, and stopped doing strength exercises except very sporadically. I WANT to do the exercise, I even enjoy it, but I can't seem to make it a priority or figure out how to squeeze it into my everyday life. It was almost easier when my life was more of a mess - I felt like I HAD to do the exercise - it was the only thing I could focus on and control.
My eating is a mess as well. I keep trying to eat better, but just haven't made the jump to a real commitment. I hate posting what I eat every day, because it feels so unnatural. I really want to get to a point where I can make healthy choices without writing everything down. Again, I need a system that's sustainable, and sometimes I feel like focusing so much on food makes it harder.
Part of my resistance is not wanting to fail again. I don't want to start hard and fast and have results, and then not be able to sustain it.
But I am here, and I am trying. My first step will be to buy a new scale and see how much I really weigh now. Then I need to find a way to convince myself to log my food.
Anybody have any ideas about how I can get my dragging feet to start moving again?