A programmer is someone who can solve a problem you didn't know you had in a way you will never understand.
Forget the health food, we all the need preservatives we can get for later in life!
The wonderful thing about microwaves is that if you are a bad cook, now it won't take you as long to find out that you can't cook!
"Dig within. Within is the wellspring of good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig."
The phrase 'Maintenance Free' is really just a fancy way of saying that once it breaks you can never fix it.