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Day 9 and 10 of 77: Compliments

Monday, June 08, 2009

Homework Assignment:
1. Monitor what you say when accepting a compliment. Say thank you and be sure you don't say anything negative about yourself or how much farther you have to go.

2. Journal about why you find it hard to accept someone saying something positive about you. Do you find it hard to say positive things about yourself?

3. Look in the mirror every night and give yourself at least one self affirming compliment. Say it out loud.

1.) I definitely do not take compliments well. I always blow them off and laughingly insult myself, which then just ends up being awkward and rude. Why is this? Why is it so hard to take a compliment? I answer myself as I write that. It feels like if I say thank you, Iím agreeing with them, which feels like blowing my own horn. This is especially unappealing to me if I donít actually agree with what their saying, but bad enough if I do. Who knows when Iíll get another one, but I suppose Iím shooting for saying thank you rather than blowing it off.

2.) Like I said above, I feel like accepting compliments validates them. I donít know how it is for boys, but I know that girlfriends are always telling white lies to make their friends feel better about themselves. Which is nice, but being a girl means I know compliments are suspect. I personally try not to go too overboard in this, but Iíve definitely had girlfriends who do. But then, a lot of times, theyíre being legit, and itís rude to deny their compliment. As to the second part of the question, lol, I donít find it difficult to say positive things about myself in general. If Iím in a bad mood though, there is nothing I find pleasing about myself, and things that previously looked good later start looking horrible and saggy. Itís amazing how the same pair of eyes can see the same thing so differently depending on mood.

3.) All right. I will. At least tonight while I remember to.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 6/12/2009 4:53PM

    shall I nag you?

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Celeb Images in the Media (Sparkblog prompt)

Monday, June 08, 2009

The question is: "Do images of celebrities and models make you feel bad about yourself?"

The answer is: no.

For one, I just don't pay much attention to tabloids, or fashion magazines, or whatever else, so they aren't on my radar all that often. For the other, a lot of the models are just too skinny. It's unattractive. Now, I don't now if it's unattractive to men or not, but it certainly is to me, and regardless of what men want, it's not what I would want for myself. It's also just not threatening to me when a guy I'm with finds a supermodel attractive. For example, the last guy I was with mentioned a supermodel he thought was good looking (after prompting from me) but since I had no doubt that he found me attractive, it didn't bother me. Beyond that, supermodels are fantasies. It's not like any guy I'm with is actually going to have a shot at one, so what does it matter? I don't know, it's quite possible I'm weird in not worrying about it. Oh well.

Now, needless to say, I don't want what I've got for myself either, but I've got potential. My bone structure, and the way I think muscles will lie once I get them, I think will work out well for me. I don't want to be super skinny. My goal weight right now is 135. Definitely I could go lower, but I don't think being a little bit soft is a bad thing. I think it's a feminine thing, and both healthy and attractive. A bit of muscle definition will be good enough for me.

There are real people who I'm envious of though. Girls my age who do have fit physiques and who potentially I actually could look like. Again, I wouldn't say they make me feel bad about myself, but they definitely make me unsatisfied with where I'm at. If I get hit by this envy, I try and transmute it into energy for exercising. There's no reason I can't be like them, so I might as well push myself in that direction, you know?


Day 6, 7 and 8 of 77: A Helping Hand

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Homework Assignment:
1. Write down the phrases you are going to use whenever you are confronted with a food pusher. Rehearse those phrases in front of the mirror several times this week.
2. Talk with at least one of your helpers. Let them know one thing you need from them to help you along your journey. It can be to do some of the cooking, watch the kids while you exercise, what you want to hear or not hear from them.
3. Journal about the hazards you face along your weight loss journey. Write down how you plan to protect and enable yourself.

1.) I totally already do this. Usually with a "I'm just not hungry right now, but I'll try it in a bit." And then I just don't try it in a bit. Ninety-five percent of the time that works. In the 5% in which it doesn't, well, 5% won't kill me, and so long as I'm conscious of the choices I'm making, I'm fine with eating food that is less good for me. Lol, I need to come up with something similar for myself when my body is urging me to eat this or that.

2.) I'm sitting here, across from my helper, my mother. She pretty much already does everything she needs to for me. She is an excellent example. She is there as a source of education and inspiration. She cooks me good food, and makes me cook her good food. Of course there is also all my cohorts on Sparkpeople who are a huge source of inspiration and help. I don't thin kthere's really anyone holding me back but me. Well, maybe my grandma, and of course she doesn't mean to. She's just always cooking up good stuff and invitin gme to eat it. She's better than she used to be, asking first if I'm dieting and only if I say that today I'm relaxed will she offer me food. Of course, it's sitting out there on the table anyway, but that's a matter between me and temptation. I hesitate to say anything to her, because she's my grandma, and kind of creaky these days, and no point in making a fuss over something that probably won't change, and is really acceptable anyway.

3.) Most hazards seem to come from myself. My house is pretty clean, so I can't get into to much trouble here. It's my lack of self-control when I go elsewhere that's a problem. I don't know that there's much to do about it except build a stronger will. One of these days all the practice I put in on thinking before eating will actually kick in and become natural to me. Not there yet. Or if I do think, my desires overcome my will. Why am I only reconfirmed way late at night? I could totally go run a couple miles right now, but it's 11:25 pm. If I can just keep this will going until I wake up at'd probably help if I went to bed and got enough sleep. I guess I will. Enough energy is a good start to having a strong will, since lack of energy usually makes me grab whatever's handy and not exercise. So goodnight!


Day 4 of 77: The Narrow Path

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Today's excerpt:
Today's themes are about boundaries and the excess stuff we put in our luggage during this journey we call weight loss.

I like to look at weight loss as a journey, not a diet. Diets are something you do for a period of time and then you quit and generally have to start all over again within a few weeks or months. A journey is an active, intentional traveling to a destination. The journey itself is just as important as the destination and it generally takes a while to get where you're going. Then when you get to your destination, you can stay or travel to someplace else. Your choice.

I want you to think about the road you are walking on for this journey of weight loss. What are the boundaries of this road? Is it narrow, wide, undefined? A narrow road means you have a very rigid and meticulous plan to meet your weight loss goal. A plan is good -- but if your road/plan is too narrow, it may prove too difficult to stay on for the duration of the journey. A wider road allows for more flexibility in meeting your goals but still imposes limits so that you will stay on track. An undefined road, however, tends to get you lost -- you will lose your motivation as you struggle to find your way and not end up at your destination (goal weight). Think about the road you are traveling --- is it the right width for you and will it take you where you want to go?

Now, about your luggage --- we all have luggage, some of us more than others. What are you packing for this journey of weight loss? One thing we all tend to pack, without even thinking about it, are cravings. A craving is a food/foods that you momentarily feel you cannot live without.. On a weight loss journey it can be detrimental if you give in too often to cravings. How do you handle your cravings? One method is to write down the food on a piece of paper and then write about why you want that particular food. A lot of times cravings are tied to emotions, and what we truly want/need is not the food but something else --- comfort, excitement, a reward.

1. Assess your plan -- is it too rigid for the long haul, or have you left yourself some leeway to account for the unexpected things that happen in life.? Or is your plan too undefined? Is it a specific enough road for you to follow so that you can reach your destination?

2. Try the above exercise of writing about your cravings and see if it helps combat them. This would be a good thing to discuss in your mini team thread (either Forest or Emerald) or in The Talk of the Camp.

So. My plan. It's definitely not too rigid right now, though there have been times where it was moreso. The possibility exists that it's too soft right now. I try to stick around 1400-1500 Cal, which, given my metabolism will keep me at the least at a stable weight, even without exercise. If I do go over, I DEFinitely try to get at least 30 min of cardio in. I don't think I'm focusing enough on nutrition though. I'm not living off of top ramen or anything, but I'd definitely say I'm not getting enough vegetables. It is my goal to eventually be knowledgeable enough to just pick food out of the refrigerator and have it be good for me. But I'm not there yet, and I'm a bit too lazy to plan my meals that extensively. It's something I SHOULD be working on, but probably won't be anytime soon. Oh well.

As to cravings....I'm not necessarily getting cravings for specific things. I mostly just get sick of thinking about what I'm eating and as a result toss all rules aside and eat too much of whatever for a day. Now that I think about it though, french fries are a killer for me. If I'm at home and I want something bad to eat (and I've a mind to control myself) I usually hold myself off with water or a hot drink. Half the time I swear I'm more thirsty than I am hungry anyway. But if I'm out and about, and I want something easy, fast food is usually the answer, and if I go to fast food, I get fries. It's just the way of it. Even if I go someplace and get a salad, I'll usually get a small french fry. I suppose one answer is to never go to these places. Alternatively, I could go in, tell myself that I'll get fries to go after I eat something healther, which will hopefully result in me not getting fries at all after I'm full.

Hmm. Can't really put a lot of thought into this blog since I'm SO sleepy today. I have to go meet with my boss in 17 min (on lunch right now, Subway) and I definitely don't feel up to being intelligent. Oh well.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHLEYF3 6/6/2009 9:47AM

    I think that you are at least being honest with yourself that when you go to fast food you know that you can't resist the fries, so maybe you need to go through the drive thru, get the salad and leave or something so you can't get the fries. See you went to Subway - that's a good choice! It is nice to have a family of five b/c we get one small fry and split and it isn't so bad for anyone person, but if you are by yourself it doesn't work that way. I have actually taken four fries out of the package and thrown the rest in the garbage so I wouldn't be tempted to eat anymore after I was done. You have find tricks that work for you. I hardly ever eat fries anymore, but do crave something like Doritios/chocolate/cake sometimes. I will chew gum, make tea, distract myself or just have some in moderation.

You can find what works for you and you will over time. I also agree sometimes we are more thirsty than hungry and sometimes a big bottle of water or crystal light will help me feel full and I stop craving whatever it is I wanted in the first place. Good luck finding your tricks.


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Monday, June 01, 2009

I'm eating like crap today.


Also way way sleepy. I was going to get up and run this morning (haha, that didn't happen), so my alarm was set early. I woke up, but didn't get up, which means I shorted myself an hour of sleep and didn't do anything with it. That was dumb.

I'm drinking some caffeine, but it's not kicking in yet. I recently got moved out a a nice cozy office into a horrible exposed cubicle, so I can't take the 10 min nap that will rejuvenate me. I'm entitled to it according to our personnel policy, but I feel weird napping in an open place like this. I wish I could take half an hour and go for a bit of a hike, but alas, I already used my half hour of lunch to eat a bunch of gross stuff.

GROSS! Everything is gross today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KMKUCK 6/4/2009 4:50PM

    This is how my day is going too. Tomorrow we can start again and hopefully do better.


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ASHLEYF3 6/2/2009 9:37AM

    I know I have those "gross" days too. Just try to "reboot" your system and do good things for your body. It will thank you later. Have a great day!


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