Monday, May 11, 2009
Now I'm thinking I'm going to be more pear shaped, at least until I'm way low. I definitely pack on the fat in my lower half. I still think my bone structure will work in my favor, but if I just can't kick the bottom half fat, then I'll still be a pear shape. Bleh.
But then, I'm just kind of in a bleh sort of mood today. For the past couple of weeks food has just been gross to me. Nothing sounds appetizing, eating is a definite chore, and I'm often slightly nauseous. If it wasn't physically impossible I might think I was pregnant. I got below 170 on it, but now I'm back up to 170.2 because I was hungry (finally) on Sunday, but for bad food and ate a burger and fries. It could've been worse given how many calories I ate that day. This weight could also be from the salt. I'm hoping so. I guess I should go pound some water. I'm, as usual, dehydrated.
I'd like to go exercise right now, but I'm on a break at work, which is just not long enough to do it. A good solid run would probably perk me up. Oh well. It probably won't happen, because I'm always too exhausted after work, and there are actually people around to see me gasp and wheeze my way through a jog. I almost got up this morning to jog, but my cat was too cute and cuddly and she kept me in bed. I think she does it purposefully. She totally ignores me until I get the idea to get up, and then there she is, sprawled out over my butt (I sleep on my stomach). It's amazing how heavy a 12 lb cat can feel when you don't really want to get up, lol.
Definitely a ramble. Mostly just not wanting to work. But I guess I need to because they are paying me.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Feeling very upbeat today! Have been for about two weeks, which has been fun. Randomly smiling, saying hi to people I barely know, probably weirding them out, but that's okay cuz I feel good.
In my upbeat, positive, optimistic and chipper mood, I'm thinking that once I lose this weight I'm going to be frickin' hot. Even now when I'm too heavy I have a decidedly sexy curve to my waist (which unfortunately having to wear fat clothes hides) and given my bone structure I think I'm going to maintain an hourglass figure. Just feeling good about myself today I guess, which is not the usual case.
I really need to get around to taking a "before" picture. My camera battery is not charged unfortunately. I suppose I could fix that.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
For some reason, eating mindfully has been really easy this week. Perhaps it's the handiness of the nearby 6 g of fat or less Subway, or the fact that there's nothing I want to eat in the house, but my Calorie range has been decent, and I feel good. Not as good as when I do Atkins, but good. I've been getting some sort of exercise in almost everyday. Not as much cardio as I'd like, but enough to feel virtuous, lol. I've also done more yoga, as I keep saying I'm going to, and I can already feel myself getting more limber and able to hold some of the poses longer. Some of them are still impossible for me, so I have to make modifications, but I'm getting stronger everytime.
I'm still hovering around the 170's, bopping below and above the line, but I've been consistantly there for a few weeks now. That's better than being consistantly at 175 or more, which I was for quite a while before that. Here's hoping slow but steady, with a few rest stops, will win the race.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I need to move! I'm stuck in the office for another 1.25 hours, and all I can think is "LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO!" It's putting a real damper on my productivity. These sunny days kill me.
Oh well. At least I got up into the hills for a bit of field work this morning. That was sooo good. But I got sunburnt! I definitely put sunscreen on my face, but my cheeks still got all rosy! Not cool. Doesn't hurt though, and it's not bad enough to peel. I just don't like the thought of all those free radicals. Maybe I'll go home and eat a bunch of blueberries.
Monday, March 23, 2009
So, I've blogged, commented, talked way too much about how diet and exercise makes me feel so good. And it does. It makes me feel great. And theoretically, according to my scale, I'm losing weight.
But I just don't see it. I look flabbier than ever to myself. Maybe a bit lost around my face, but I feel like it just sunk into my stomach. I'm not losing inches particularly. My energy levels are up, my stamina is up, I'm stronger, I'm not hungry for bad foods anymore, but I just don't seem to be getting the results visually that I want. I know that this is supposed to be about fitness, and being healthy, and that's great, it should be. But I want more dagnabbit! Is a little bit of trimming down *too* much ask?
I suppose I'm just impatient. It's not like I'm anwhere close to a healthy weight. I haven't even lost significantly from my starting point. I just need to lose more before it will become visually apparent. They say you need to be careful about making looks what this is about, because people who were heavy and lose weight *just* to look better often are never satisfied. They've still go the "fat person mentality" as I've heard it called. But honestly, I'm not worried about that. I mean, there are times right now when I think I look good (regardless of whether it's true or not), so I'm not too worried about thinking it's never going to happen.
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