Friday, December 24, 2010
I've had multiple questions from people about what happened to the last guy, and what's up with the new guy.
Basically, the last guy was just making some lifestyle choices that I knew in the long run, I couldn't be happy with. Maybe he'd have dropped them, but in addition to that, he's not the sort to be happy in a small town, and wants to escape to see the world. Admirable, but not for me. I'm stoked that I managed to find work so I could stay here, in the redwoods and with my family.
Don't know yet about new guy. I ended up going out last Sunday, the first and only date so far. We'll be having another next Monday. He strikes me as very gentlemenly in the old school sense. Opening doors, paying for dinner, that sort of thing. I was unfortunately still sick so did not show the best. We talked too much and so by the end of the evening I was coughing like a mad woman. He's gainfully employed as a local truck driver, has been in his field for five years now. His whole family is here, and he doesn't seem to show an inclination to leaving the area. He's studied to be a physical trainer, and is himself very fit. He wants to go back to school so that he can do something other than truck driving with his life, because I guess there' s a hearing requirement? And his is going bad. So he wants to be prepared for that day.
He seems to be pretty practical, with his head on straight, but nice too. He texts me every morning with what he's up to that day, wishes me a good day. Asks about how work went at the end of the day. Says nice things to me.
But that's something again, I'm just not sure what to do with. I've seen multiple threads on how to take compiments gracefully on our weight loss, but I feel like compliments from a guy are something else. I don't date much, so I'm not sure how to handle it. Both of these last two guys have said things to the effect of "it's going to be a good day because I'll be hanging out with you." That's nice. But I'm leary of statements like this because they are so standard. He doesn't actually know me I feel, after a single date. How does he know it's going to be nice? He doesn't. So it strikes me as insincere. Same thing with endearments. If you start out straight off the bat calling someone sweetie, or honey, or whatever, does it have real meaning? Or is it just something you do when you're seeing someone?
And what about if he calls you beautiful? That was the problem with the last boy. I know I'm not beautiful. If I have the right outfit, I'm not bloaty that day, I got enough sleep, I'm wearing make-up, my hair is contained, and it's low lighting, I could be called pretty, in a chubby way.
I think my problem is I'm too reserved. I don't feel like I can trust these guys when they say these things. I consider them from a very practical standpoint and don't tend to romanticize falsely, which these statements seem to do to me.
I don't know.
Point is, he seems nice. Nice enough to meet again on Monday.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Not a busy day at all, really. Ended up not going down to Humboldt at all. Too stormy. Too tired. Too not comfortable with large crowds of people I don't know, so didn't want to party. I did the cell phone thing and congratulated my friend long distance. Hope they had a good time.
Am supposed to go meet with new boy tomorrow. Debating whether to do it in the morning or the afternoon. He's apartment shopping from 1-2...but I just don't think I can be up and make the 1.5 hour drive down there for a morning visit. My roommate came home from work, really tired because he'd had a late night the night before work (stupid boy only got like an hour of sleep), so pretty much crashed out. Usually I just quiet my activities and keep doing whatever while he sleeps, but he was SO tired, I didn't want to risk waking him, and I was tired, as usual these days,, so I went to my room and took a nap too. "Napped" for like three hours, so I don't foresee me going to bed any time soon. It is currently almost 11:30 pm, so I don't see me getting up early either.
He's still sleeping. I can hear him snoring back in the spare room. He's got some voluble nasal passages. So I'm sitting here, dithering away my time on the computer rather than being productive. I have no idea when he's going to wake up, so I should just do what I need to do, but combined with not wanting to wake him up, I'm lazy. Oh well.
Waffling back and forth as to whether or not I'm well enough for vigorous exercise. I don't think I'm going to set back my recovery by draining my reserves, which was my original fear of exercising while sick, but I do think I'll go into a hacking fit if I breathe too deep or fast. I can strength train though, I think. Perhaps I will.
Or perhaps I will go play a computer game. We'll see where the night takes me.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tomorrow may be a busy day. I need to do a tiny little bit more Christmas shopping, which, weekend before Christmas, will not be fun.
I also have a party for a friend to go to. She's done with undergrad :) She and her boyfriend (aka my boss) are always inviting me to things, and while I normally don't go, because their taste in stuff is different from mine, a party celebrating her success is not something to pass up. Bought her some pretty earrings in congratulation.
The problem is, the shopping and the party are in Humboldt County, and I'm in Del Norte. It's about a 1.5 hour drive. And, like most of the country, tomorrow is supposed to be wracked with storms here on the California North Coast. Sleet, potentially snow, lots of wind and rain. Add to that, I'm still sick, so maybe a large group of people is not the place to be hanging out. I gave the earrings to my boss to pass on to her if I don't make it, but I'll feel lame if I don't.
...just don't know.
Also, if I go, I may have another "date." Date seems like such a high school word to me so I feel silly to say it. Besides, it's the first one with this guy, so is it a "date?" We'll probably just hang out over coffee and talk, the weather not allowing much else. But, the question is, do I want his first impression of me to be a coughing, wheezing, mess? Also, due to the lack of exercise and a total lack of will, I feel like a fat slug, and he's very fit. I feel self-conscious. But when do I not? I wish there were guys closer to me, but there just doesn't seem to be. I met up with him on eHarmony. Anyway, I'm supposed to call him if I think I'm going to head down. Undecided. I guess I'll sleep on it. Not enthused, which is not fair to him because he seems like a nice guy. This whole dating thing turns out to be a lot of hassle, given the distance I have to travel to see these guys.
I'm just generally unenthused about things these days though, so I should probably go just because I know I'm out of it and might otherwise be excited. Guess I'll go to bed and try to get some rest, and feel better in the morning.
P.S. Lied. Star Trek: Next Generation is on, haha. It'll be another hour before I go to bed. But, I will drink some chamomile tea and hopefully be ready for bed by the time the show's over.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Back to the grind tomorrow. I feel like crap, and depressed, and gross, but the only way to change it is to make the determination to do so and follow through.
I think maybe I'll be vegetarian for a week, no refined carbs to speak of, to break my body out of it's funk. Well, except for chicken soup, which I believe firmly in the powers of.
Hate being sick. Worst patient ever.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I'm sick and it's dragging me down. I'm wallowing in self-disgust today. I was having a convo with my roomie and just listening to myself make excuses and whine was gross.
And I'm giving myself the excuse that I'm sick to continue to wallow. Gross.
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