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New boy

Friday, December 24, 2010

I've had multiple questions from people about what happened to the last guy, and what's up with the new guy.

Basically, the last guy was just making some lifestyle choices that I knew in the long run, I couldn't be happy with. Maybe he'd have dropped them, but in addition to that, he's not the sort to be happy in a small town, and wants to escape to see the world. Admirable, but not for me. I'm stoked that I managed to find work so I could stay here, in the redwoods and with my family.

Don't know yet about new guy. I ended up going out last Sunday, the first and only date so far. We'll be having another next Monday. He strikes me as very gentlemenly in the old school sense. Opening doors, paying for dinner, that sort of thing. I was unfortunately still sick so did not show the best. We talked too much and so by the end of the evening I was coughing like a mad woman. He's gainfully employed as a local truck driver, has been in his field for five years now. His whole family is here, and he doesn't seem to show an inclination to leaving the area. He's studied to be a physical trainer, and is himself very fit. He wants to go back to school so that he can do something other than truck driving with his life, because I guess there' s a hearing requirement? And his is going bad. So he wants to be prepared for that day.

He seems to be pretty practical, with his head on straight, but nice too. He texts me every morning with what he's up to that day, wishes me a good day. Asks about how work went at the end of the day. Says nice things to me.

But that's something again, I'm just not sure what to do with. I've seen multiple threads on how to take compiments gracefully on our weight loss, but I feel like compliments from a guy are something else. I don't date much, so I'm not sure how to handle it. Both of these last two guys have said things to the effect of "it's going to be a good day because I'll be hanging out with you." That's nice. But I'm leary of statements like this because they are so standard. He doesn't actually know me I feel, after a single date. How does he know it's going to be nice? He doesn't. So it strikes me as insincere. Same thing with endearments. If you start out straight off the bat calling someone sweetie, or honey, or whatever, does it have real meaning? Or is it just something you do when you're seeing someone?

And what about if he calls you beautiful? That was the problem with the last boy. I know I'm not beautiful. If I have the right outfit, I'm not bloaty that day, I got enough sleep, I'm wearing make-up, my hair is contained, and it's low lighting, I could be called pretty, in a chubby way.

I think my problem is I'm too reserved. I don't feel like I can trust these guys when they say these things. I consider them from a very practical standpoint and don't tend to romanticize falsely, which these statements seem to do to me.

I don't know.

Point is, he seems nice. Nice enough to meet again on Monday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 12/29/2010 2:50PM

    Child, you don't know what he sees. Don't take it for a life commitment, but don't automatically discount it either. Let it ride and go ahead and get to know each other. What should be, will be.

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VAMANOS 12/24/2010 2:47PM

    Had to come back after seeing this on another friend's status:

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

Perfect, yes?


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TRACIE52 12/24/2010 2:40PM

    I understand where you are coming from. When a guy comes on full blast in the beginning, it doesn't seem sincere. I once had a guy tell me that he saw our whole future together after 2 dates. That ended it for me. I felt like just a body filling in a role. He couldn't possibly have known me, the real me. So a word of advice... take it at your pace. If you feel pressured to be more committed than you feel, just say no. Take a stand early and stick to it.

that being said, you are beautiful and there is no reason in the world that he can't find you beautiful-- hair crazy, full on sunshine in sweats and a t shirt with no make up after being up all night. Your soul shines through your eyes and that is where beauty lies. My bf and I have been together for 15 years and the first time he told me I was beautiful, he was peeling the skin off my back from a 3rd degree sunburn that landed me in the hospital the night before. My hair was greasy from the suntan lotion and medicinal creme, I had no make up on, blisters everywhere, and did I mention that I was peeling worse than a snake shedding her skin. and you know what, he meant it. He really thought in that moment I was beautiful. Crazy right???

Compliments from a boy are the same as from a girl. Just smile and say thank you and let them believe what they will.

Good luck with the dating.

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VAMANOS 12/24/2010 2:07PM

    I think you're beautiful, and I'm not just saying that. I've said it before, remember? What we see in the mirror doesn't always tell us the truth, so don't distrust someone just because they have a different way of seeing things than you. Or because they follow conventions that they've been taught--maybe they call everyone they date sweetie or honey, or maybe they call everyone with whom they feel comfortable that, who knows and what difference does it make? When the forever person comes along, the endearment could be something else entirely, and there's plenty of time for that to develop.

Judge him by the core values you hold dear, and by how it makes you feel to be with him as time goes on. It sounds to me as if there is a solid foundation of shared values, so far anyway. What remains to be seen is whether there is a spark. I'm crossing my fingers for that, because you so deserve it!


Comment edited on: 12/24/2010 2:10:16 PM

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MICKI2010 12/24/2010 6:49AM

    Well, the 2nd guy sounds great! Take the compliments, you are beautiful.

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BUTEAFULL 12/24/2010 3:25AM

    okay, I'm a woman and I know we have different standards than guys when we think beauty. I looked at your photos and I see where guys would think a curvacious cute long haired girl would fall under the heading BEAUTIFUL. Take a compliment for what it's worth don't look for hidden agendas or meanings, it's just a compliment and won't hurt you acutely or chronically. Even I think you are cute so there!

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So today was not a busy day

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Not a busy day at all, really. Ended up not going down to Humboldt at all. Too stormy. Too tired. Too not comfortable with large crowds of people I don't know, so didn't want to party. I did the cell phone thing and congratulated my friend long distance. Hope they had a good time.

Am supposed to go meet with new boy tomorrow. Debating whether to do it in the morning or the afternoon. He's apartment shopping from 1-2...but I just don't think I can be up and make the 1.5 hour drive down there for a morning visit. My roommate came home from work, really tired because he'd had a late night the night before work (stupid boy only got like an hour of sleep), so pretty much crashed out. Usually I just quiet my activities and keep doing whatever while he sleeps, but he was SO tired, I didn't want to risk waking him, and I was tired, as usual these days,, so I went to my room and took a nap too. "Napped" for like three hours, so I don't foresee me going to bed any time soon. It is currently almost 11:30 pm, so I don't see me getting up early either.

He's still sleeping. I can hear him snoring back in the spare room. He's got some voluble nasal passages. So I'm sitting here, dithering away my time on the computer rather than being productive. I have no idea when he's going to wake up, so I should just do what I need to do, but combined with not wanting to wake him up, I'm lazy. Oh well.

Waffling back and forth as to whether or not I'm well enough for vigorous exercise. I don't think I'm going to set back my recovery by draining my reserves, which was my original fear of exercising while sick, but I do think I'll go into a hacking fit if I breathe too deep or fast. I can strength train though, I think. Perhaps I will.

Or perhaps I will go play a computer game. We'll see where the night takes me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICKI2010 12/21/2010 12:01PM

    So it is now a day later from your blog, did you meet the new guy? What did happen w/ the last guy? I am behind in your dating stories!

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VAMANOS 12/19/2010 12:15PM

    Whatever happened with the boy who wanted to introduce you to his parents? Still seeing him?

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CONSIGLIEREIII 12/19/2010 4:40AM

    I'm glad you stayed in. Getting out in bad weather might have made you sicker!
I hope you start feeling better ASAP!
& good luck with the new guy, best of luck!!

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Another day, another date

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Tomorrow may be a busy day. I need to do a tiny little bit more Christmas shopping, which, weekend before Christmas, will not be fun.

I also have a party for a friend to go to. She's done with undergrad :) She and her boyfriend (aka my boss) are always inviting me to things, and while I normally don't go, because their taste in stuff is different from mine, a party celebrating her success is not something to pass up. Bought her some pretty earrings in congratulation.

The problem is, the shopping and the party are in Humboldt County, and I'm in Del Norte. It's about a 1.5 hour drive. And, like most of the country, tomorrow is supposed to be wracked with storms here on the California North Coast. Sleet, potentially snow, lots of wind and rain. Add to that, I'm still sick, so maybe a large group of people is not the place to be hanging out. I gave the earrings to my boss to pass on to her if I don't make it, but I'll feel lame if I don't.

...just don't know.

Also, if I go, I may have another "date." Date seems like such a high school word to me so I feel silly to say it. Besides, it's the first one with this guy, so is it a "date?" We'll probably just hang out over coffee and talk, the weather not allowing much else. But, the question is, do I want his first impression of me to be a coughing, wheezing, mess? Also, due to the lack of exercise and a total lack of will, I feel like a fat slug, and he's very fit. I feel self-conscious. But when do I not? I wish there were guys closer to me, but there just doesn't seem to be. I met up with him on eHarmony. Anyway, I'm supposed to call him if I think I'm going to head down. Undecided. I guess I'll sleep on it. Not enthused, which is not fair to him because he seems like a nice guy. This whole dating thing turns out to be a lot of hassle, given the distance I have to travel to see these guys.

I'm just generally unenthused about things these days though, so I should probably go just because I know I'm out of it and might otherwise be excited. Guess I'll go to bed and try to get some rest, and feel better in the morning.

P.S. Lied. Star Trek: Next Generation is on, haha. It'll be another hour before I go to bed. But, I will drink some chamomile tea and hopefully be ready for bed by the time the show's over.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILLIANPRNCSS 12/18/2010 7:39PM

    I think you should go on the date, you never know, he might be the one. BTW I will be up that way in April for the Avenue of the Giants race. All my family is in Eureka and we still have property in Mckinleyville and Willow Creek.

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GRANNYS5 12/18/2010 7:14PM

    Sleep on it and do what your heart tells you to do tomorrow:)


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TRACIE52 12/18/2010 3:50PM

    Bad weather and sick is a bad combo. You have to do want you feel is best but a nice thick blankie, some cocoa and chicken noodle soup sound better to me.

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/18/2010 1:25PM

    It is hard to know what to do about making the trip and the weather being so bad. If you do decide to go, please be careful and stay warm and safe.

Now about the date??!!! or whatever you want to call it, I wouldn't worry so much about the outward appearances, if he is a nice guy he will see your inner beauty.

Whatever you decide to do just enjoy yourself!!!! emoticon

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MICKI2010 12/18/2010 11:07AM

    It is tough to tell you to go being you are not feeling well and your weather is suppossed to be bad. Maybe you should skip the party and postpone the date and stay home and get yourself better.

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VAMANOS 12/18/2010 11:01AM

    Unenthused is the very definition of sick...sounds like you need to rest instead. I know it's disappointing--sometimes life is. This too shall pass.


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CONSIGLIEREIII 12/18/2010 2:52AM

    He should like you at your worst as much as he likes you at your best emoticon
Don't feel pressured to get out there in bad weather if you don't feel up to it. Getting your body better is the first priority!
Feel better SOON!
emoticon emoticon

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Back to the grind tomorrow. I feel like crap, and depressed, and gross, but the only way to change it is to make the determination to do so and follow through.

I think maybe I'll be vegetarian for a week, no refined carbs to speak of, to break my body out of it's funk. Well, except for chicken soup, which I believe firmly in the powers of.

Hate being sick. Worst patient ever.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLEIGH711 12/13/2010 12:36PM

    I, too, am a horrible patient when I'm sick, I'm a miserable bear overall. I hope you get to feeling better soon

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MICKI2010 12/13/2010 5:28AM

    I know how you feel, I also hate being sick. Hope you get better soon!

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GOOZLEBEAR 12/12/2010 9:23PM

    I sure hope you are out of your "funk" soon and feeling better. It's no fun to be sick. Good luck with the Week 3 Challenge and hope you are up to it. I know you will be.

Take care and get well.


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TRACIE52 12/12/2010 5:12PM

    I hate being sick too. Hope you feel better soon.

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LOSLUWOM 12/12/2010 2:33PM

    Hope you are feeling better soon. Hang in there!

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NPA4LOSS 12/12/2010 12:52PM

    I hope that you are feeling better soon. Have a me day and do something nice for yourself. cuddle up in your favorite PJ"s and listen to your favorite Holiday tunes. emoticon

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VAMANOS 12/12/2010 12:26PM

    That's what air travel will do for you. Sorry you're feeling blah. emoticon

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  I've been feeling unwell too and although I've got my nutrition back on track now I've lost the momentum I had with my exercise. Don't give up - take your time, let yourself get better. You'll get back on track eventually and progress might have slowed but you won't be slipping backwards. Take care.

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

I'm sick and it's dragging me down. I'm wallowing in self-disgust today. I was having a convo with my roomie and just listening to myself make excuses and whine was gross.

And I'm giving myself the excuse that I'm sick to continue to wallow. Gross.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 12/13/2010 1:03PM

    Poor baby!

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GRANNYS5 12/12/2010 7:35PM

    feel better soon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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DIANNEMT 12/12/2010 4:41PM

    So do all you can to get better--liquids, rest, right foods--and then start back up! You can do boxing while seated--gets your blood moving. Don't "relax" too long!!

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GREEKGAL1 12/12/2010 9:09AM

  Feel better soon.

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OCTOBER2842 12/12/2010 5:33AM

    Hope you get better soon and back to your good self

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