Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Ohhhh! I'm so full! Ouch! Had an Indian taco sale at work today. My cousin Teri (who makes THE best fry bread in Yurok country, and quite possibly in the world) fixed me up phat! Seriously, the entire, big, paper plate, was overflowing with tasty goodness.
I only ate half of it. Not because I was virtuous or anything, but only because my stomach couldn't hold anymore. It's not going to be as tasty later, cuz it won't be as crispy, but I'll still enjoy it more later just cuz I won't be hurting myself to eat it.
Haha, my calories are pretty much done though, for the day. I have about 200-300 left. A small dinner. Or some chocolate milk. Not sure which I'm going to go for.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I've never really done the reward thing. Honestly, because weight loss has been so hit and miss (conCEIVably because my efforts have been so hit and miss), it hasn't really seemed relevant. I'd lose when I'd lose, I'd gain it back later.
But, now, being motivated, having lost some weight, I'm in the mode where I believe I can do it. I was thinking maybe at 160, but I think I'll wait 'til 158.5. It's the half-way point from my highest weight, 182, and my goal weight, 135. Now, when I decided to lose weight from 182, I basically just had to decide to stop stuffing my face. That's heavier than my body wanted to be, and I dropped to 178, then 175, fairly quickly. So the first few pounds weren't really earned, beyond making the decision to change. I did do some C25K at that time con mi madre though, so I'm going to count it.
But what to do? Halfway is a big deal I think. It's been two years in the coming, with long, long, long periods of inactivity in the middle, but somehow, I'm getting there. My problem is a.) I don't want to treat myself with food and b.) property taxes are due soon and I have no money. Any spare $$ I have will go to Christmas gifts.
Maybe I can convince myself spare the $ if I put it towards something that's fun AND good for me? If it's good for me, it's a household/life expenditure isn't it? Not frivolous but necessary? Maybe a belly dancing class. Or for that matter, a ball room dance class.
I'll have to think about this, as the time may be imminent.
Did some cardio this evening. 30 mins of Dance Dance Revolution. Haha, my steps were lagging by the end, fo'sho. Also did my BL strength training plus a bit more. It was core work today. It was a good start. But doing that much ST AND cardio, takes up a lot of time. I'll need to be better organized with my time in general.
Speaking of which, it's 10:44. Time to go to sleep if I want to be up by 7 and have my full 8 hours. I have an interview tomorrow for a Tech III position (vs my current Tech II) and a $3.59/hour raise. That would be quite helpful. Want to be awake for it though, so goodnight.
Monday, October 11, 2010
I am positively giddy over my weight loss, seriously. I keep grinning to myself, for no apparent reason. I'm surprised my boss hasn't commented yet. Doing the math, since I started the BL challenge on Sept 1, I went from 170.0 to 171.5 and down to 164.6 as of today. Thats about 7 lbs over 6 weeks. It only comes down to a little over a lb a week, but in my opinion, that's just about perfect. I don't think I'll have to worry about stretched out skin if I lose at that pace as my body will have time to adjust.
In reality though, I lost all of those 7 lbs over the last three weeks, as I had dropped a bit from 170, then jumped up to 171.5 sometime around Sep 21. That's a bit fast of a loss, at a little over 2 lbs per week.
But, the results have made me feel good. I know this isn't going to keep up. At some point my body is going to say "Woah there Nelly!" and it will slow. Hopefully it won't stop. But if nothing else, I gotta say, my 170 plateau seems to be broken. I noted in a status update the other day as well that my hips apparently shrunk by two inches, which I hadn't noticed, but which lends credence to the comments I've been getting that I look like I've been losing weight.
Now of course I'm all motivated. Isn't it funny how motivation comes AFTER success for me, not necessarily before when I need it? I've determined that today is the day that I start up on strength training again. I've already got planned out what I'm going to do; I just need to do it. One aspect of strength training is that, if done right, it will probably add weight on as I gain muscle. But, I think that risk outweighs that of LOSING muscle as I lose weight, which I believe is a pretty well established phenomenon. Even if my weight loss is not as apparent on the scale, I've decided to start doing the non-scale measurements more religiously, about once a week. How long this will last, I don't know. But I will have starting measurements at least, and if I don't measure again for four months, but am consistant with my strength training, I should see changes in my shape.
Man I hope I can do this. Beyond all the mental road blocks I've put up in regards to strength training, the most honest is I just don't like it. Oy. I'll need to be committed, and probably get a push from my friends on occasion, if I want to keep up.
Monday, October 11, 2010
I wonder what my pants' size is going to be, once I meet my goal weight (whatever that ends up being) and look.
I'm not a small girl. Even if I lose the weight, my bones are broadly set and I'll never be a 110 lb weakling, as even without doing ST I'm relatively strong. I don't see me ever fitting into a size 2, or a 4, or even a 6. Made for babies, that's me. An 8 would be nice I think, but I just don't know if my pelvis bones will fit into such a thing. It'll be interesting to see. Lol, if I can just get there.
Friday, October 08, 2010
I can't find my camera! Which is SUCH a shame.
My little red dress. I've always loved this dress, from when I first put it on in the store. Bought it senior year of college, at 21 and about 165. The scale yesterday said 167.1. Was rockin' out to some good tunes, dancing around again, feeling good about myself, so, being silly, I tried it on.
Hahaha, SO sexy. Of course, I can't bend over in it, sit down, or twist too vigorously or all my unsightly bulges will show, but lol, if I'm standing tall with a decent bra on, I'm SMOKIN'! Totally rockin' the hourglass figure in it.
Again, I know I'm nowhere near my weight loss goals, but seriously, when something looks that good on me, which alas doesn't happen to often, it just makes me feel so much better about myself.
Despite almost never having boyfriends, a combination of being the fat chick and abysmally shy, or so I think, and despite horrible, self-castigating periods of self-loathing when I'm hormonal, I've never really lost faith that I could look good. Somehow I keep thinking, every once in a while anyway, that in the right dress, in the right light, I look good.
I don't think that's a bad thing. I know I'm not what most men want; I know that my fitness could definitely be improved and I definitley need to lose weight. I see myself as I am. But I think a bit of healthy self-promoting ego is not a bad thing.
Lol, with my de-stressing and this five pound loss, I'm feeling good about myself more often than not. It's a nice change from how I usually feel. I'm reveling in it.
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