Thursday, December 08, 2011
So I haven't been feeling completely like myself the last week or so, and I've come to the conclusion that it's just me changing, maybe growing up in some way. Which is fine with me, don't get me wrong, if I'm growing up into a different person and that person is going to do what she needs to do, and take care of herself and her daughter, then there's no reason for me to not change, but what I do dislike is the fact that I feel icky, not like sick just inside icky, and confused, and just blah, which I figure is just that I'm changing and it's making me nervous and the icky and stuff is just my body's reaction to my nervousness. I've started to really look after myself and my daughter, and I've started to realize a lot of things and so I know I have grown in some small ways already but maybe just maybe I'm going to change in some big way and that's what's doing it. Oh well I'll still muscle through it, as long as I'm not physically ill then I'm going to do my work outs. Today I didn't get one of my normal work outs, but I went to see my head doctor today and of course had to climb up about 2 flights of stairs just to get to the building, and then I had to climb up two more flights of stairs to get to the lady's office, so I was rather worn out just from all of that and now with my ickyness I'm very thankful I didn't get in my 3 minutes on the bike before I left like I had originally planned too. But I have no plans to go anywhere tomorrow so I should be able to get on the bike, if not I'm going to make sure to get my 5 minutes of walking done. Okay I'm done complaining for now, later.
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
So yeah I'm not feeling all that well today, but I've still gotten up and down the stairs to the basement twice today, and gotten almost all of the laundry done, really just have to do the big blankets but I'm not sure my washer and dryer will hold up to it, so I'm gonna ask my ex what he suggests, maybe get him to do them at the laundry mat this weekend. I'm going to still try get on my bike for a couple of minutes later today, but right now I'm feeling a slight burn from going up and down the stairs so much in such a short time, normally I wait hours between, that is if I go back down at all, but today I only waited about an hour and a half before going back down, and shoot I even brought up the dry clothes both times, two small bags the first time, and one small bag the second time, woot, go me.
Monday, December 05, 2011
So oh my goodness, I know I complain about my ex being a dick and everything but he does the most surprising thing today. He calls me up, he was cleaning up a basement at one of his boss's buildings, and the guy wants him to get rid of this really nice stationary bike, and he's like Do you want this, we are on our way past your house I can drop it off in like 5 minutes, and I'm thinking its one of those rinky dink things I'm gonna need to loose 200lbs to even look at it, but I say sure why not, while thinking if I don't like it we can have him pitch it when he stops by to see the little one after work. And he comes in with this big stationary bike, with a nice big cushy seat and everything and I'm like wow that's really nice. So it's now sitting in my bedroom, while I sit here making a post and drinking some water before I even go to look at it properly. So while I may really dislike my ex, he does do some rather nice things sometimes. Boy does he like to confuse me.
Update, after looking up a guide book to the bike and drinking more water, I tried out the bike, I might need to have the seat lowered just an inch or so, and I was able to get about 3 minutes done before I was out of breath and worn out, but wooot for 3 minutes.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
Queen of Denial, a really cute country song, but also how I have been seeing myself all to much this past weekend. I know a year or so ago I was all about no more lies, and no more excuses, and no more hiding, but now here we are coming up to a whole new year and what do I have to show for it. Only 10 little pounds lost, which is huge considering the year I've had, but still I'm beginning to think that that is just a huge excuse...Yeah my brand new husband turned into a dick in just under a month, big deal, he's out of the house and I'm much much better without him, and way happier. I see my doctor every other month, and I've started to see a head doctor, which will help. Yeah my daughter had a cold this past week so she didn't get to play on the kinect like she has been but that really didn't mean I couldn't still do my little work outs, I know I'm capable of so much more than this, so why can't I find it during the day? Why do I find it at 10pm on Sunday evening? No clue, any idea's are welcome but I'm so not going to wallow in it and stress and worry, that's so not good for me. So here is what I am doing, I'm looking up healthy fun recipes that will help me to include TJ in the making of her meals, which I think will help her to want to eat them.
Second I'm gonna set aside 20.00 or so for getting to and from the store every other week for shopping, this getting take out, even if it's Jimmy John's and not pizza still sucks, I could get to the store and do damn good shopping on what it takes to feed me, my mom and my little one. So no more of that if I can help it.
Third, As long as I can move somewhat I'm going to try and make myself get up and walk about for at least 5 minutes at one time, if I can't do that then when I'm watching Big Bang Theory in the evenings I'm gonna get up and walk about during the commercials.
Forth, No more soda in the house, well no more of mine, I don't drink what my mom drinks so that will come in handy. And if I break down (which is allowed every now and then) I get either a 20oz bottle or if I get a 2 liter it goes in the fridge and I only have a glass of it, it might actually last longer that way in the long run.
Fifth, I am really going to try to get on top of the every day cleaning that needs to be done, I figure if I can get some of the dishes done the night before, I can get my mum to make breakfast for us, I can then take care of those dishes before lunch, one or all of us will make lunch, and then get my mum to do up those dishes before dinner, then I can do dinner myself for all of us, I just hope this plan actually works right. Plus fit in all the other chores through out the day.
Sixth, Try to get "all" of the laundry done...not an easy one with the stairs the way they are going to downstairs, not that they aren't stable, but more they are narrow and tilted downwards slightly making going down a bit hard for my balance which was never the greatest.
Seventh (getting a bit long ain't it?), I'm gonna start journaling at least once a day, not these blog posts or anything, but a journal where someone I trust to say what needs to be said without going over board will read them and let me know if I'm doing good or bad that day.
Eighth, Take a little bit of me time sometime during the day, even if its just half an hour with my headphones plugged in and me rocking out to my fav music videos while my mom keeps an eye on TJ for me, it shouldn't be too much to ask.
Well I guess we'll see how this actually goes. I'll try to write up how it's working on Wed. Toodles for now.
Friday, December 02, 2011
I know I don't blog a whole lot but that is mostly because I've been; well not exactly avoiding my computer but I've been finding other things to do besides sitting at my desk. I've been spending more together time with my daughter, watching shows with her that she loves, watching movies that she wants to watch, playing games with her and things such as that. Though this week it's been more rough as she's been sick since Monday morning, but she's almost completely over her cold now so I'm way happy. I haven't been doing actual work outs this week either but I have been getting up to get things myself, or put things up myself more often than asking anyone else to do it, and I've been eating a lot less at meal times but more often throughout the day. The one thing I'm currently having issues giving up is soda, only because it's cheaper than anything else we can get right now, and sometimes I just need something different to drink then water, I'm going to try to start using a smaller glass though, and actually leaving the bottle in the fridge than next to me, I'm hoping I'll drink less of any soda that I do have this way. I have been taking my pills everyday this week, actually this week makes 2 1/2 weeks that I have, I was even going to not take it 2 days ago just because I was in too much pain to get up to get it, but my mom said I HAD to take it and got up and figured out which one it was so I could take it. Yay mom. I'm not sleeping as much as I did at the start of Nov. but I have started to need to nap within 2 hours of waking up, I think that's mostly because of my pills, not only (I'm told) will my thyroid med make me sleepy till I'm used to it, so does my pain pills, so I'm struggling with that, but I only sleep for an hour or two then I'm up and good for the rest of the day. To be fair, it's usually within 2 hours of me taking my thyroid pill so I really think that's the leading reason to it, and my doc says just keep taking them, that effect will wear out once I'm used to them so that's what I'm hoping for. Okay well I don't know what else to say right now so bye bye for now.
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