Monday, August 01, 2011
- and dusting myself off.
I did 5 miles today, and WOO HOO it felt great! This is a HUGE thing for me, because I haven't done 5 miles since last year in the fall.
The winters where I live hit me pretty hard and this last one was among the worst. I gained back the 60 pounds I lost last year, and all the bad habits (that I thought were gone forever) fell right back into place.
Someone recently blogged (I'm sorry I forgot who it was...) that they were not starting over, they were continuing on. It was very inspiring and I feel the same way. I have been overweight since childhood, and this battle will probably be one that will never be over. But I am not disheartened- a healthy lifestyle does not appear overnight, and weight does not EVER melt off. As long as I keep going, I know that I will make it to a healthier me.
I will be seeing my doctor in September this year, so that we can get a plan in place for the winter. I would like to encourage anyone that is not doing well emotionally or mentally to seek help. Last winter I thought I would be bothering my doctor, and that I was not worth her time. I thought my symptoms were pathetic and minor. I was embarrassed that I could not pull it together. It was during those dark days when my sister said something to me that stuck: "maybe the feeling of not being worth it, is enough in itself to get some help."
So, fall down seven times, get up eight. My goal this year is to get back in shape for another 8k run, and to beat my time last year!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
After waking up at 4:00 AM, I was not sure it was going to be feasible. I was really tired, and very nervous. My first race, and I did not have a clue what to expect.
When I arrived, the first thing I noticed was that everybody was so skinny! AGH, I felt like an eyesore. They were all wearing fancy spandex with reflectors, special running sweaters, and fancy headgear (Its really cold here already). I was wearing my yoga pants and a hoodie I've had since high school.
I started last, and that's how I finished (and that's how I planned it). I jogged the whole time, and didn't walk once. I had some nice company almost the whole way, an older lady that kept a walking pace along to my jog. I was actually quite frustrated by that, but it was really nice to have someone to talk to.
Overall I think it went great, and I did an awesome job, especially for someone who couldn't find pants that fit in the plus size store last Christmas. Now, I can do 8k! I wonder how good my time will be next year??
Friday, October 08, 2010
October 16 is the big day, and its fast approaching. I have been training for this 8k, and I am getting quite nervous!
Up until a few weeks ago, I thought I could do it in my sleep. Then I hit a wall - and the wall pushed back. I had to backtrack in my 8k training series because I was finding I could not keep up! It has been quite disappointing...
After several weeks of terrible, ugly, disgusting runs, I had one of the best ever. Last night, it seemed like everything was perfect. The sky was clear, every star was bright. Not too cold, not too hot, and I could keep up just fine with the pace. Its still week 3 of my 8k program, but I think now there is a good chance I can make it (have been doing 5-6k consistently for months).
Also something amazing has happened. The scale moved! After being stuck in the 270's for six months, I think its safe to say that I am now in the 260's. Woo hoo! The peasants rejoice!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
It was intense. Gently caressing the tops of my shoulders and my neck, I could feel his body heat, he was so close to me. He wanted me badly. Effortlessly I said, "No. I am married." as I walked away and left him there.
That was my dream last night. I know I have been feeling pretty good about myself lately but to dream up Johnny Depp wanting me, is a whole new level. LOL! I tell you, my husband is one lucky dude!
Friday, August 06, 2010
I wish I had eloquent words and witty lines to write a super read like other blogs, but its just not me. I want to tell a thrilling tale of how I wrestled with highway 303 and won, with the wind at my back and the morning sunrise on my shoulders, and a deer spotting in the last kilometer. (all true by the way...)
I just want to say I have completed a goal, I did 5k. I don't really know if others would call me a runner, but today I do. I took all 277 pounds of my fabulous self and completed 5k. It was at lightning SNAIL speed, an average of 10 minutes per kilometer. But I did it.
I thought to myself, while stretching afterward, I guess this means there is only an incredible amount of room to improve on my time and speed! It only gets better from here.
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