TTLEELEE   58,609
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
TTLEELEE's Recent Blog Entries

Fourth Day of Flailing

Thursday, March 26, 2009

emoticon The food thing just isn't coming together for me these last few days:
- ate left over eggplant parm 2 days in a row
- eating away from home at least once a day, and the choices haven't been good
- plan to eat certain things don't happen (no green salad at meetings!)
- eating late a lot.

Now I'm feeling a bit tired and dejected. But I refuse to FAIL! I will only flail around a bit until I find my bearings and move on to the next success.

Some weeks I get a good rhythm for the week. Not this one. The choices have just been oddly poor.

My workouts are going great, and I am looking forward to them each day if for no other reason than to work off some of my frustration. I even went to the gym in the AM the last 2 days (not early, but before 10). It felt really good to have those done. I might even find motivation to do that more often.

Moving forward - Food. Plan it!

I will spend some more time deciding my meals before hand and take the initiative to make sure that I have what I need. Yes, that probably means bringing my own dinner to meetings instead of counting on them providing the options I need.

I'm still frustrated though, and I want this to start working so that I actually see some success, not just feel it. Keep in your prayers and meditations for success -- Thanks!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEARL10 3/27/2009 6:17PM

    Oh GF I know what this feels like, i'm here more often than not! Pick up your mat & keep walking. I always think to myself, 'I have 2 choices, keep going or give in & gain heaps again". Walk into the land of milk & honey, don't turn around & go back to yr old life in Egypt, the land of slavery!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Friday, March 20, 2009

I am trying to be patient. And not be too overly optimistic. So, what the heck do I mean by that?

I just finished my 17th workout in March. Today was my 5th day this week and my 4th weight training of the week. This week was a "max" for me. I should exceed my cardio-calories burned goal tomorrow (if I didn't blow out my shoulders today doing lateral dumbbell raises).

All of that and I feel like nothing good is happening... No weight loss. Inches? I really don't think so. The last time I checked, I had gained an inch in my neck and my arm. emoticon What is that about? It feels like the workouts are sending me backward in that realm. So, I must be patient and not quit. Because in addition to the "growth" I'm feeling a bit tired.

My actual workouts are going really well. I am working pretty hard. (Is there such thing as too hard?) Sweating, feeling good after. Well enough that I am still going and not making excuses not to go. My exercising feels like personal achievement. And it makes me want to achieve even more. I believe that by the end of this summer, I will be doing some jogging! That is one of my "medium" goals, and I am going to get there. I shouldn't be too optimistic, because it isn't going to just happen. It will take some time, and some patience too. So I can't be so optimistic that I push myself too hard and end up unhealthy (mentally & physically) and disappointed at not "achieving".

So, I'm frustrated and rearing for things to happen. I must keep pushing so that I stick and stay with the process, and not give up before I make a good solid achievement.

PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens! AND emoticon


Weather change -- OH! ALLERGIES!!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ok, so why haven't I packed up and moved to a more mild climate?

Other than my parents; other than job search issues; other than fear? How about allergies?

Last spring DH & I went to a nice town in No. Carolina. It was our spring vacation. Around the middle of the second day we were trying to figure out why we weren't just having a wonderful time. Allergies! The flowers there were beautiful, diverse and abundant. The pollen was THICK. We were "sick". Itchy, swollen, watery eyes. Runny noses and sneezing. Itchy throat. Tired and irritable the entire time - and the otc meds only made me "weird".

Why do I bring this up now? Cleveland has had a stretch of beautiful 50 to 60+ degree days and some of the spring blossoms have begun to pop! A wonderful and loved event. Unfortunately, I have woke up for the last three mornings with, yes - ALLERGIES!!

I know I will get through it. Best of all because the temperatures are expected to drop back down to the more common temperatures for this time of year. We will probably have at least one more blast of snow and below freezing temps. All of this will make me wish for and better appreciate Allergy Season!!

Allergies or not - I still walk outside, and will, hopefully this year, spend time riding a bicycle to get around. As bad as the allergy stuff feels - I feel worse when I'm not taking care of my health with exercise and eating right!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERYLD02 3/18/2009 9:05PM

    Lee, I can relate to the allergies. I too have been fighting them for the past few days. On Monday I raked up the front to try and clean it up a bit from winter. My front yard is so small but by the time I went to bed, I had a scratchy throat and on Tuesday I had to take some Tylenol Allergy caps because of the sinus headache! I can definitely tell when the seasons are changing! If this week was any indication of how my allergies are going to be this year, I'm in BIG trouble!

Here's to the tissue brigade!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Another whining blog

Friday, March 13, 2009

Even with some changes that were expected to bring more positive changes I struggle with some of the same challenges.

I became semi-self employed and no longer work at an “office”. What I mean is that I do not really have to “go to my office” everyday to say I am at work. As a contractor with an organization, my office is at home. I still spend a great deal of most days away from home though. Providing technical assistance, attending meetings…

One of the things I feel is good about my job is that I do not have a lot of things that happen in the earlier hours of the business day. Generally, my day starts around 10 am. Mornings are not my primetime and therefore this is a positive characteristic of the work. In turn, I often work very late into the evening – until 8:30, even 9:30 pm. I don’t mind those hours. I can fit a work out in earlier in the day when the gym isn’t crowded. There is plenty of time to do personal business during business hours.

What is difficult is that when I do work late, I end up either eating a dinner that isn’t very healthy, or not eating until way too late. When does it get to be okay to pack the calories in early in the day and then not eat again after 5? Remember, I might not eat breakfast until 9:30 am!!

I’m sure I can figure something out. Right now the difficulty is seeing past my schedule; I have to be at the meeting space at 5pm to set up and make sure everything is ready. Meeting starts at 6 and ends at 8:30. Yes, I can eat at 4, but it will probably be loading or in the car driving to the meeting, which isn’t really a good option. This will improve during the summer late spring thru early fall, as a cold sandwich is much more tolerable in a car during the warmer months. And some type of veggie salad/medley.

Additionally, if I eat around 4/4:30, when 8 pm hits, I’m so likely to be hungry again. What is a good thing to eat after long day that isn’t just “comfort” food, or going to give me a boost of energy at the end of the day? I know, I know – a small serving of something just to get me to sleep!! What could that be though?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAAM1224 3/14/2009 7:03AM

    I have read that many experts say we should have our largest meal of the day with the most calories in the morning then go downhill from there. You are lucky that your schedule could allow you to do this. A great workout in the morning, then a huge meal, then start work.. have the salad and sandwich at your mid-day point then some sort of smallish meal at "dinner time" I would go with salad or veggies because they seem to burn through faster - at least for me. Here is what I have found to be the key for me though. I have to GO TO BED quickly before I get too hungry again... and I often mistake hunger for tiredness... when my body is tired it wants me to eat for more energy to keep going.... I have only recently recongized this error of my body reading...maybe it will help. Take care and keep blogging!! I am always amazed at what appears on my blogs. I often think, "who wrote that?" But it is usually insightful in some sorta way! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Blogging for the Points

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Well, I'm suppose to blog for a team challenge as well. I'm supposed to talk about how things are going and my mindset. I thought about this morning, and how I would blog about how frustrated I am, and ... well here I go.

This is about the place in my weight loss journey where I become particularly frustrated and pretty close giving up. And yes, I am there again.

I have been on SP for more than a year. There was a short period of time in the beginning where I was losing weight. Then I got frustrated (lifestyle challenges) and quit. This, I believe is the 3rd time around. As I ruminate over my frustrations I come around to question myself and my own competence.

It has been almost a month since I "recommitted". Began to invest by tracking my food consumption. Even making a concerted effort to be very honest about the information emoticon. Then the workouts have been done in earnest as well. 4 weeks straight, no less than 5 workouts a week, and started weight training 2 weeks ago. Even hired a trainer. So, after the last 2 weeks - nothing. No changes in weight or measurements.

There is a change in my mood. I'm tired and I'm irritable. emoticon

A few clarifications & explanations here. First, I really do enjoy my cardio workouts on the elliptical. It is a lot like self care and meditation for me. I put my tunes on and "go". When the music is fast I go fast. When it slows, I up the incline and the resistance and power it out. Keep the calorie burn over 10cals/min. Get up to 12+. Work to get to between 350 & 450 burned. This is the best part for me. And since my schedule is pretty flexible, "I gittit in when I can fittit in".

Food - I love fruits & veggies. I'm allergic to the best for you nuts. I prefer cottage cheese over yogurt. The amount of food I prepare myself has exploded and my husband loves all of my bean dishes.

So, where do the biggest challenges begin. FOOD of course. And it makes wonder, "what do I really want as far lifestyle?".

Well, my first thought is, I'm not going to cut out a bunch of foods and add a bunch of foods I'm not going to keep eating just for a "diet". Why? Because I won't maintain that diet. How do I know? Let's take Jenny Craig... did that, and did it pretty well. Got tired of their selection, particularly how limited it was and it really wasn't tasty or satisfying. Yes, in my regular food choices, I pretty much eat the same thing on a regular basis. . . same salads, same snacks, same breakfasts, same places out too. (so is it portions?)

There are some food situations I don't have much choice in. My Mom cooks for me every Sunday and she makes what she wants to make the way she has made it all of her life. And yes, I eat it. (She is also one my biggest "your need to lose some weight").

For work often has me working late (after 8:30 pm). I have tried having dinner early and skipping the provided meal. By the time I get home, I'm wound up and hungry. The food choices we are provided at the meetings, aren't all that wonderful. Yes, I have/am working on some strategies. On my first try, instead of salad and entree the person who ordered the food did "boxed lunches". I had brought pistachios and fat free dressing to go on my BIG salad. --- NO SALAD WAS PROVIDED. emoticon

And I'm tired of "feeling" hungry all the time!! And listening to people tell me "what I need to do". Is my frustration showing through.

Well I have worked out for the day. Tracked my food and I am within my calorie range. Now I will go to bed and try it all again tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNO64 3/12/2009 10:10AM

    Amazing how it all comes pouring out once you get started, isn't it?

Sounds to me like you're not really sure you want to lose weight. Are you just doing this because of your mom telling you you're looking like you need to lose weight? Or because other people have said something? You have to want this for YOU, because YOU want to be healthier, or you will just continue to feel frustrated. You also sound like you believe eating healthy is a punishment, but really, it's not.

Please blog about why you're on Spark, if it's for you or someone else. I think maybe if you work out more of these frustrations you'll get to the key.

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Last Page