TTLEELEE   63,074
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Blogging for the Points

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Well, I'm suppose to blog for a team challenge as well. I'm supposed to talk about how things are going and my mindset. I thought about this morning, and how I would blog about how frustrated I am, and ... well here I go.

This is about the place in my weight loss journey where I become particularly frustrated and pretty close giving up. And yes, I am there again.

I have been on SP for more than a year. There was a short period of time in the beginning where I was losing weight. Then I got frustrated (lifestyle challenges) and quit. This, I believe is the 3rd time around. As I ruminate over my frustrations I come around to question myself and my own competence.

It has been almost a month since I "recommitted". Began to invest by tracking my food consumption. Even making a concerted effort to be very honest about the information emoticon. Then the workouts have been done in earnest as well. 4 weeks straight, no less than 5 workouts a week, and started weight training 2 weeks ago. Even hired a trainer. So, after the last 2 weeks - nothing. No changes in weight or measurements.

There is a change in my mood. I'm tired and I'm irritable. emoticon

A few clarifications & explanations here. First, I really do enjoy my cardio workouts on the elliptical. It is a lot like self care and meditation for me. I put my tunes on and "go". When the music is fast I go fast. When it slows, I up the incline and the resistance and power it out. Keep the calorie burn over 10cals/min. Get up to 12+. Work to get to between 350 & 450 burned. This is the best part for me. And since my schedule is pretty flexible, "I gittit in when I can fittit in".

Food - I love fruits & veggies. I'm allergic to the best for you nuts. I prefer cottage cheese over yogurt. The amount of food I prepare myself has exploded and my husband loves all of my bean dishes.

So, where do the biggest challenges begin. FOOD of course. And it makes wonder, "what do I really want as far lifestyle?".

Well, my first thought is, I'm not going to cut out a bunch of foods and add a bunch of foods I'm not going to keep eating just for a "diet". Why? Because I won't maintain that diet. How do I know? Let's take Jenny Craig... did that, and did it pretty well. Got tired of their selection, particularly how limited it was and it really wasn't tasty or satisfying. Yes, in my regular food choices, I pretty much eat the same thing on a regular basis. . . same salads, same snacks, same breakfasts, same places out too. (so is it portions?)

There are some food situations I don't have much choice in. My Mom cooks for me every Sunday and she makes what she wants to make the way she has made it all of her life. And yes, I eat it. (She is also one my biggest "your need to lose some weight").

For work often has me working late (after 8:30 pm). I have tried having dinner early and skipping the provided meal. By the time I get home, I'm wound up and hungry. The food choices we are provided at the meetings, aren't all that wonderful. Yes, I have/am working on some strategies. On my first try, instead of salad and entree the person who ordered the food did "boxed lunches". I had brought pistachios and fat free dressing to go on my BIG salad. --- NO SALAD WAS PROVIDED. emoticon

And I'm tired of "feeling" hungry all the time!! And listening to people tell me "what I need to do". Is my frustration showing through.

Well I have worked out for the day. Tracked my food and I am within my calorie range. Now I will go to bed and try it all again tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNO64 3/12/2009 10:10AM

    Amazing how it all comes pouring out once you get started, isn't it?

Sounds to me like you're not really sure you want to lose weight. Are you just doing this because of your mom telling you you're looking like you need to lose weight? Or because other people have said something? You have to want this for YOU, because YOU want to be healthier, or you will just continue to feel frustrated. You also sound like you believe eating healthy is a punishment, but really, it's not.

Please blog about why you're on Spark, if it's for you or someone else. I think maybe if you work out more of these frustrations you'll get to the key.

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A break in the weather.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Mother Nature is a tease!

Thank Her goodness for giving us a break because we really do need it. Unfortunately, she is going to turn around and be the same frigid b*tch she has been for the last couple of months, for the next 3 to 4 months.

I hate the cold. So, Why do I even live here? Because Spring, Summer and Autumn are wonderful. And if it wasn't for winter, I don't believe that those three would be as beautiful here. The summers would probably also be brutal - as hot as winter here is cold. I know there are people who love winter, even in Cleveland. They ski, and ice skate, sled and take full advantage of the winter sports. It just isn't me. The closest thing to a winter sport for me is shoveling. I can bear it because I only do it 20 minutes at a time. I want to go outside to walk and play in the dirt (garden). The days are still too short to fit much in after work unless I stay indoors. And don't forget that the temperature drops can be so extreme. Notice I haven't mentioned wind.

It is this time of year that I become so "s.a.d."

There is something else though too, and it is hard to get a handle on for me. I'm not sure what it is but it points mostly to social disconnect. I also don't have a reason (other than "me") to go anywhere or do anything.

My "Girls Night Out" group is pretty "regular". We get together at least 10 times a year -- generally always centered around food & alcohol. Outside of that there isn't much more. One of them doesn't live too far from me either. She jogs in the same park, but we don't get together to work out. It's like our timing is off. (So are our fitness levels - she JOGs, not me!)

So, from where shall my new motivation come? Will the break in the weather 'spark' some movement and determination for change? Will my rump develop an ample desire to be more active? Will the hunger bear which has not hibernated doze off to sleep for awhile?

If only for a few days... I must go outside and get some sunshine on my face!!


Tough Tuesday

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Today it is just a tough one...

January had challenges, but looking back and remembering how it felt it really wasn't so bad. I did get back to my start weight after putting on a few pounds over the holidays. It consisted of mostly wine, cheese and just being more relaxed about the season. So, moving back into work and "real" life, things settled back to the beginning.

February has crept in, which is just fine by me; the closer we get to spring the better, although I might add a bit of groundhog to my diet in the near future. The last few weeks of cold and snow just have me feeling soooooo sluggish and tired. I miss the outdoors quite a bit. I have been outside - shoveling snow! so I have gotten some good cardio and upper body workouts. Unfortunately they have not been a catalyst for doing anything more.

Another thing (on a very personal and female topic) it is the end of my quarterly cycle, so the anticipated visit from flo has also had some strong impact on my mood in addition to the call of the hibernating wild. Tired, moody, kind of spacey... emoticon

Right at this moment though, with the temperatures dropping, the sun going down, and my belly full of things that should not have passed my lips today, I just want to cuddle up and take a long nap.

What is that anyway??

I admit, in my adult years I have never had a fondness for the cold weather-- Never a skier or ice-skater. I loved to bicycle, swim, walk, hike, and racquetball. And still enjoy them when I can fit them in, but do not "make" time for these things. Stationary biking? Not the same as the wind blowing through the hair and maneuvering the turns and hills. Swimming (check these excuses out!) - not sure I want to be seen in a bathing suit in public (and I really struggle with the whole long dark curly hair thing and chlorine). Walking in the cold - not gonna happen. I have gone to the gym to do the elliptical thing, just not as often as needed to make an impact. Then there is racquetball. Where? When? With whom?

Those were the good ol' days {looking dreamily off into a faraway space somewhere in the past with a pleasant grin on my face}. Spending hours at the park hiking, in the gym sweating. Now I'm just a good ol' gal trying to figure out where my get up and go has got up and gone off to.

And now, after all of this complaining - what the heck am I complaining about? This is all ME, and under my control. Just because I feel sluggish doesn't mean I have to act like a slug. Where do I go to get some motivation though? How come it doesn't come packaged and sold at the ends of the junk food aisles in the stores, or dispensed by a yellow button on the water cooler at work? The day (weeks, months, years) would have been so much different! I'll have to find my motivator and start carrying it in my pocket, on my dashboard, in my wallet --- sigh!!!

If any one finds one on sale, please let me know!!


Inaugural calorie count & Mom!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

OK, OK, OK. Some of you know that I have a difficult relationship with my Mom regarding food, her cooking and my weight. ie: she says that I need to lose weight and then serves cheese potatoes, fried liver w/onions and lots of butter on the over cooked broccoli. So, I gotta share this one. It is one of those indicative situations. Went to Mom's to watch the Obama swear in. She served navy beans, cooked in salt pork - of course; corn bread, salad, w/egg & blue cheese, fresh fruit salad w/canned whipped cream. OK, so I already know that when I got there, don't even try to be controlled or too disciplined meaning that I have to eat some of everything. I had my beans in a small bowl. Ended up having about 2 cups total in 2 shifts(is that all you are going to eat??) At the end of the day I put track the food. I called her to tell her that 2 cups of navy beans are over 500 calories. Yes, she was very surprised. But she calls back and tells me that according to her calorie counting book, a half cup of navy beans cooked in bacon are 110 calories. emoticon Yes, I had to tell her to multiply that by 4 AND, tell her they were cooked in a pound of fatty pork. THAT'S NOT ALL. Then shes, "well, but you had a good salad" My response was to tell her what the calorie count on that probably was (just to make clear that "a salad" doesn't cancel out other calories!!)
This was the first time my husband SAID OUT LOUD, "She just doesn't get it, does she?" Now I know that my husband knows that it is more difficult with her than just telling her to get her to understand how she isn't as supportive as she believes. It is many many many years of life that will probably never change. I am smiling broadly about it. I am still challenged as to how to keep from crushing my progress every Sunday at Mom's.
Thank you for your attention and patience in this story.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIMELITESHINES 1/22/2009 10:49AM

    I know it's frustrating . . but keep trying to educate her. Cheryl had a great idea . . . spread the food out. But just keep after her . . . you might explain something one day that makes it click. And she might never get it! Just don't let her insecurities get in the way of your weight loss. If she fusses about you not eating all the food . . . just tell her you love her . . . and you want to eat everything there . . . but you and she know that you have to lose weight and that you have a plan that you need to stick to. Hang in there!

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CHERYLD02 1/21/2009 10:12PM

    Lee, I feel for you! I have been there with my dad. His feelings were, I'm going to die sometime so I'm going to enjoy what I want to eat! Well, the food did him in and his heart gave out at age 67. Mom is still going strong now and she watches what she eats. Your hubby is right, some people just don't get it. Perhaps if you took a small portion of each on your plate and spread it out to make your plate look full, she might back off a bit. Then again, maybe not but it's worth a shot!

I think sometimes moms just think they are helping you not realizing they are hindering you.

Good luck with Sunday dinners!

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After Florida~

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm back from sunny Florida and am wishing for the time to go quickly so that winter can end. Left Cleveland in tolerable weather and returned to a foot of snow and more coming. At least shoveling snow is a pretty darn good cardio exercise.

I have a few months to see what I can do here about losing weight. My brother in law had started a diet and week ago and lost 10 lbs. --- not that he needed to. He is one of those tall wiry guys who probably could actually carry around much more weight than he does. I also wonder if he is aware that most of the 10 lbs was probably water weight. Well, I wish him luck, and wish I had his tenacity.

Does anyone know where I can buy some determination? tenacity? motivation? You know, some of that long lasting, high powered stuff?


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