TRYINGISDYING's Recent Blog Entries

WE are NEVER alone!

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Alone I have proved again and again that
I am defenseless over my eating disorder, but
together -- TOGETHER -- with my Higher
Power and all of my fellows, I have a
Power and Strength I never believed

I know today that I am bevet alone. The last 6 weeks have really been hard and the one thing that pulls me up every day are my Spark People teams. The Rooting for Ruby team challanges have motivated me...challanged me and have kept me comming back every day for more...They are just love and support all the way around!!!

Today I start physical therapy.....WOOOOO HOOOO...won't bemuch since I can't stand on my foot yet....BUT it is something!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RANEYDAY 6/11/2010 11:49AM

    U can do this Geri! WHOOO HOOO!

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SPARKPIXIE 6/10/2010 5:43PM

    Great blog, Ruby-Lite!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 6/10/2010 12:21PM

    We can do this, and we are here to stand beside you

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YAFENELRA 6/10/2010 10:22AM

    Good luck with your PT.

Arlene emoticon

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PINKNFITCARLA 6/10/2010 7:50AM

    I love the Ruby Teams too! Good luck with your physical therapy. I hope you can get back to the activities you love soon!

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Am I done suffering yet??

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Just as this question is a key motivator to move into personal change and regain your self esteem, this question is a prime motivator to start changing our self-defeating attitudes and actions. Nothing changes if nothing changes. How much longer are you willing to keep stepping on your own feet, tripping and falling down? Maybe, just maybe, it's time to stop the pain.

I think I am done today....a few loooong weeks of suffering caused from my self defeating actions has created enough pain that I am willing to change today. it goes back ot being honest with myself and my food!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUFFINMAGGIE 6/9/2010 8:29AM

    Great attitude, you can do it!!

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JEWELS571 6/8/2010 11:03PM

    I had to litterally fall and injure myself to learn to stand and get myself together, so yeah, we really have to learn to quit allowing ourselves to suffer! You can do it too!

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BAKER1009 6/8/2010 5:19PM

    Great attitude, you can do this and we're all here to help you!

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RONIE11 6/8/2010 11:20AM

    you have great pep talks... keep it up we need your inspiration...

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JUST_DEBORAH 6/8/2010 11:05AM


I can relate. Many of us can relate. We can change too.

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VEGANVICKIE 6/8/2010 9:13AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATANTIGO 6/8/2010 8:07AM

    We're all together on the journal. Keep sparking!

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FCASTELO 6/8/2010 8:05AM


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Honest with myself...

Monday, June 07, 2010


:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~

"Our lives improve only when we take
chances ~ and the first and most
difficult risk we can take is to be
honest with ourselves."

Walter Anderson

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~

After the initial shock and realization
that I am a compulsive overeater, it
transpired that in order to recover, I
had to get honest. This was -- and still
is -- a painful process for me, yet it
is an essential step towards my

First I had to admit that I wasn't in
control of my life and that recovery
couldn't be achieved unaided. As with
most revelations, this was an
uncomfortable truth to behold. I was
also prompted, through honesty, to stop
blaming everyone else for my
unwillingness to help myself. I had to
find conviction in my actions and not
just emptiness in my words.

I conceded that I am not as perfect as I
would like to think. I make mistakes and
sometimes slip from the path of
recovery, but with honesty comes
acceptance that I am only human.

This disease would deceive me into
thinking that I am a failure, when in
fact it's my actions that have failed
me. Like a magician who performs
illusions for the crowd, this disease
would have me think I have committed
unforgivable sins.

Honesty is the key to my recovery; it
unlocks the chains, which have
imprisoned me for so long. It allows me
to recognize my weaknesses and turn them
into strengths. It turns simple
existence into life ~ and inner
conflicts into outward serenity.


I will be honest with myself.

I needed this today. I know that I can not recover form my food addcition unless I am honest...with myself and others. I have not been honest with either...where has that got me....rfelapse....binge eating,,,,feeling sorry for myself.....hating my body....beating myself I will move back to the path of recovery and self love....Ever since I huert my ankle and tore my achillies tendon I have been nothing but abusive to myself in the guise of "making myself feel better" the food has done nothing but make me feel worse....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RANEYDAY 6/8/2010 7:47AM

    U go girl! So true!

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WALIDGAZALA 6/7/2010 6:50AM

    I believe you are absolutely right. emoticon

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Turning My Life Over So I Can Move On Today........

Monday, May 24, 2010

God, I give to You all that I am and all that I
will be for Your healing and direction. Make new
this day as I release all my worries and fears,
knowing that You are by my side. Please help me to
open myself to Your love, to allow Your love to heal
my wounds, and to allow Your love to flow through
me and from me to those around me. May Your
will be done this day and always. Amen

I am powerless over people and places and things.....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCCALI59 5/24/2010 8:12AM

  emoticon emoticon

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Feeling Sorry For Myself......

Sunday, May 23, 2010

WEll......Went in friday and got my cast off...Instead of the low boot I was given the high one that goes to my knee....and with it being in the 80's it is HOT. Anyway ..I told him I was still in horrible pain somedays and my calf was twitching all the time...Anyway he thinks that I might have torn/ruptured my achillies tendon in the accident too...So friday I go for 2 MRI's to see if this is so...

My racing for the season is done.....Unless I have no tear. Im really trying to see the positive or at least something good...But it is hard to do today!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KMIRANDA2000 5/24/2010 7:19AM

    I'm right there with knee injury is very depressing. I'm upset that it's holding me back from doing everything I usually do, but I do want to get better, so I'll listen to the dr and just give it a rest. Sucks!

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PINKNFITCARLA 5/23/2010 5:31PM

    Ah, I'm sorry to hear that :-( I hope your MRI's are negative and you can move on with your race training and everything else!

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TRYINGISDYING 5/23/2010 4:58PM

    Thanks Kaye....I need it! emoticon

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KAYE454 5/23/2010 4:55PM

  Keep your chin up I am thinking and praying for your leg to get better soon

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