Friday, July 13, 2012
There is something to be said for trusting your gut. I woke up - sort of, 4 alarms snoozed for 3 hours, calling someone and falling asleep on the phone - finally getting to work I had called my friend wondering if I ought to call in "exhausted".
Crazy day, nearly got hit by a car, managed to not cut myself with a knife, threw out food and tried to cut plastic - yeah, I was that tired.
But my supervisor got to go home early and I got extra hours, some things cleaned, and some research done.
So - should I have gone to work or stayed in bed? I don't know.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
I heard this quote some time ago and it's really come into play at my job a lot. There are a few people, one who I work closely with, as in work-wise and also physically, ummmm well, really likes to share her attitude and everything she thinks no matter how rude or offensive. (Nice things don't seem to occur to her very much apparently.)
I pray about this every day, I chant my mantras, I know it's not personal, I let it roll off my back - but honestly, it gets to me! Every once in a while I just blow my stack and speak up for myself though I know it accomplishes nothing.
For the last two days (after a discussion from the manager) she has actually been NICE!!! I'm finding myself truly stunned at how much energy I have for myself now that I'm not having to expend so much energy to ward against her negative energy!!
I slept about 3 hours the last two nights and I'm just fine. It's way past my usual bedtime and instead of dragging I feel like I could go on all day (or all night as the case may be). Normally I'm just ever so tired all the time I can barely function and spend most of my free time in bed, now I feel like going for a run!
It's amazing what a difference in attitude makes - hers and mine.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
So I'm at the drugstore (boringly) bying stuff I need and I amble through the summer stuff aisle. I see the hula hoops. Brings me back to my days as a kid and we'd hula hoop for what seemed like ever - until we got older and it wasn't cool any more.
I was on Santa Monica Pier in California a year or so ago, and there was a guy with mega super huge hula hoops! He tried to entice us to hoop with him and no one would. I somehow got roped into it and felt utterly ridiculous. At first I couldn't figure out how to make the thing go, and then I found if I reeealllly got my legs, hips, and, yes BUTT into it, I could hoop with this gigantic ring.
The iridescent pink hula hoop caught my eye, so I had to check out the price which meant going to the front of the store. The cashier thought it was wonderful and started hooping with it herself, next she's handing it around to other customers and employees, and soon about 10 of us were hooping at the drugstore!!
I hardly wanted to leave, we were having so much fun!
One woman was able to get the hula hoop moving while barely moving at all, and we were all then trying to figure out how to do that ourselves. Another woman could keep the hoop in the air if she walked with it, so she was walking around the store and hooping at the same time.
It was great fun - other people looked on but lacked the courage to try. I felt bad for them in a way because we were all pretty ridiculous, all these grownups hooping after not doing it since we were little, but I can certainly understand being rather shy myself.
What fun!!! I'll never look at the drugstore (or probably other people!) the same way again. It brought out the inner little girl in all of us.
Sunday, April 01, 2012
So I'm listening to the radio, I hear a song I like, figure out what it is, and get it set up in Pandora so I can listen to it, and songs like it. Yay me! So far so good.
Then I'm listening to a song, I like it, I go to click the thumbs up ... and it's Britney Spears! So I listen to that, and another song (again, thumbs up), then another song - thumbs up ... and it's Britney Spears again!
Over and over, sometimes back to back, sometimes with 1-3 songs in between, but again and again and again it's Britney. Britney, Britney, Britney!
All this time, in all these places, I've been hearing and liking these songs ... and now I find out I like Britney Spears. How the heck did THAT happen????
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Isnít it interesting how we can lose so much of our minds when under intense distress?
All the times I watched shows like Law & Order I though Ö ppphhht Ö Iíd remember something more than that if something bad happened!!!
But then there was the neighbor who blasted music for an hour starting at midnight. I called the cops as I was tired of dealing with talking with him several times a week, every week, for weeks on end. But 40 minutes later, without seeing the cops, of his in the middle of the night music (canít he get headphones??), I just went and talked to him myself. Shaking. I donít even know what I said.
Then I went for a walk, and went for a drive (remember I got barely no sleep last night, and this is about 3 hours before Iím to get up and start my day) Ė came back over an hour later, donít even know if the cops showed up.
Thought that would be the worst of it.
Then there was the screaming.
I remember ďPlease someone help me!! Please someone help me!! Please someone help me!!Ē ďI donít care if someone calls the cops! I hope someone calls the cops!Ē
Well, so, I called the cops.
But I donít remember after that. I remember screaming, I remember banging, I remember yelling, I remember the mother / grandmother saying ďI want you out of my house!!Ē (yet at the same time knowing her husband (who hasnít lived there at all) pays most of the bills, and the daughter/ mother of baby pays the rest of the bills) so how much of it is really her house??? and I remember not getting to the local police fast enough (one downside as cell phones as land line phones Ė they canít figure out where you are).
I donít know what I said. I donít know what they said after I got on the phone with the police. I donít remember.
I wish I could remember. I know Iím missing so much more than that.
Itís just so much. Maybe also triggered so much in me Ė all the times I cried out for help, for someone to call the police and no one did, for someone to make it stop, and no one tried.
I banged on their window loudly several times to let them know someone was there and heard them. I could do that.
Iíve been working on this for 30 minutes. If that woman was about to be killed, the police sure would not have helped any, would they? Cuz they sure arenít here yet.
I am not used to this. I am used to police coming urgently, within 15 minutes. Not Ö never. Not an hour or more later. Not ďoh, letís shine our flashlights for 20 seconds and go, cuz we have too many shootings to deal withĒ. That woman could have died due to their timeframe.
I donít like living here.
The place I am to fix up is even worse from what I understand.
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