TREVOR828  
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Ten years and a few stones ago...

Monday, January 26, 2009

I had been fat for as long as I could remember. It was part of my identity, really. Not something I was proud of, but also not something I seriously thought I could do anything about.

I hated the way I looked and the way I felt. I was in a constant battle to find clothes that made me feel anything other than shame. But like many fat people, I was a master of self-delusion. As much shame as I felt about my own physical condition, when you live in North America you can just look around and almost always find someone who is (or whom you believe to be) a lot fatter than you are. Hey, objectively speaking, I thought, I'm not that bad.

But one morning I was standing in front of the mirror and it struck me. I wasn't just fat... I was unhealthy. 25 years old, smoking almost a pack a day, fat and probably still growing. Oy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERI1969 1/27/2009 10:49PM

    And you took action and you have found SparkPeople! This is the best healthy lifestyle site I have seen and I've been part of over 100. I'm glad you came to reality. I think most of us that are here finally saw the reality. I wish you nothing but the best. You have the right attitude so I cannot see you doing anything but succeeding! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SP: the answer for a wayward Weight Watchers lifetimer?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I'm a longtime Weight Watchers Lifetime member. And I'm struggling. I know I'm not alone.

Almost exactly 10 years ago I attended my first WW meeting. I was 25 years old and I had a worsening obesity problem. Walking through that door was difficult, but as it turned out it was among the very best decisions I have ever made.

I lost 55 lbs and earned myself the coveted Lifetime membership status. But then, like so many Lifetime members before me, I went adrift. I tried to keep going to meetings. I tried to count POINTS on my own. But I just couldn't seem to make myself do it. Still, I got away with it -- my weight stayed more or less stable, maybe 2-4 pounds above goal, for a couple of years.

Then I quit smoking. Oy.

I'm 4-1/2 years smoke-free now and, trust me, I'm grateful (if also a good 15 lbs heavier) for it. After an initial gain, my weight stabilized, but I've had to run a LOT of miles to keep it that way. And even though I know deep down that WW worked for me 10 years ago, for some reason I just can't stick with it to shed the extra weight.

Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to WW. I am still more than 35 lbs lighter than when I first walked through their doors. But that puts me more than 10 lbs above my WW goal of 184, and about 20 lbs. above the "real" goal I had all along: 175.

I am determined to get to the root cause of why that is.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERI1969 1/25/2009 9:42PM

    I also tried WW but didn't like to have to count the points and figure it all out. I'm great with English and Psychology, but give me math and I'm lost!
Here at SparkPeople you won't have to count points or calories because it is all done for you. I hope you enjoy SparkPeople. I've been here a year now and I love it. It takes some time to get used to so don't worry if it seems overwhelming. Join some teams and look through the message boards and you are sure to succeed! emoticon

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