Sunday, December 06, 2009
Recently, I hit my 10 pound milestone. I give thanks to my friends who have supported me whenever I've needed it and to SparkPeople itself for doing what it does (and, of course, God for providing!). Much love to all of you.
Below are links to the three blogs I've written that I wish everyone could get a chance to read. All three of them came from realizations that I had about myself, my life and my thought process.
They are the realizations that have brought me success and have changed my life. I hope that they change yours. Please PLEASE allow me to share them with you.
Have a great week,
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Starting Weight: 225.0
Last weeks weight: 215.2 (total loss: 9.8)
This morning's weight 214.4 (total loss 10.6)
Usually I am reluctant to talk about being below a certain milestone weight unless I've been below it for a few weeks. At this point, however, the weight loss has become steady. I know that I will continue to go down each week, maybe with an exception or two.
I have a goal weight of 209.8 by the end of the year. I know my BMR, the calories for almost all foods I eat regularly. Below are my strategies for the next 3-4 weeks:
* Core work: Build muscles in abs/lower back etc. This area is mostly untapped muscle-wise
* Higher calorie-burning cardio workouts (bye exercise bikes, hello eliptical)
* Increased focus on eating less than 2600 calories/day (I've been doing this 3-4 days per week. Going forward, I'm shooting for 5-6)
Bottom Line: 209.8 by 12/31 will be a close shave, but I can definitely do it
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
** Warning: This is not a blog about boy bands. This really is all or nothing **
I Hulu'd the biggest loser tonight. I watched week 10 (last week on the ranch). One of the two challenges had to do with questions regarding obesity and finances. Several of the questions had to with the "cost of obesity" both individually and nationally.
It was weird. I've been obese for most of the 00s. Throughout the decade, I've heard the statistics about obesity and how it costs the individual in opportunities/wages and how it costs the country millions in health care. While for the most part, I've been not too far above the obesity line, there was always that tiny little voice in my head saying/whispering "That's you. You're part of the problem". This of course accompanied by the perfunctory "You're a failure".
For the last 3 week's weigh-ins, I've been below the obesity bmi and moving further from it. My bmr is higher. My eating has been the healthiest since, well, ever.
Tonight hearing the same statistics regarding obesity for the first time as a non-obese person was sobering. It was almost like moving out of a crime ridden area and listening to the local news reports on the car radio on the way to the new house. Same initial shame/frustrated reaction followed by a "wait a minute that's not me anymore. I don't live there. I've moved out!"
I understand that I still have a long long way to go before I reach an actual healthy weight, but each day I realize more the freedom that I'm living. The radio signal is starting to fade. Thank you, SparkPeople!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
It's weird(audience: What's weird?). I'm glad you asked.
A goal that I've had for two years has been to be below 220 for 3 straight weeks. I was stuck at 220/221 for seven weeks straight. Went below for one week, then went back above.
It seems like since I've realized that a bad day can just be one bad day, I've actually stopped obsessing about my weight. I feel so confident that I'm going to meet my year end goal that not only are potential setbacks not scaring me, but I'm not even noticing milestones.
The last two weeks I've been at 216.x. This week was 215.2. I actually made the three week below 220 goal and I just noticed this now. This morning, a day after my weigh-in, I realized that I am .2 pounds from my 10 pound milestone. This totally didn't register yesterday.
Now that I know my activity adjusted BMR, am exercising regularly and eating a relatively healthy amount of calories, I feel free. I'm not worrying about my weight, I'm feeling more free to help others who are having a tough day. Heck, I even feel like of I were to miss my 209.8 end of year goal, it probably wouldn't bother me too much (not that I won't fight for it until the end). I'll get there eventually and figure out what's slowing the weight loss.
Bottom Line: My weight doesn't own me anymore.
- TD out
Thursday, November 26, 2009
* I eat a candy bar a day (sometimes two)
* At most, I eat only one vegetable a day
I read so many posts with titles and statements like the following:
* "I hate myself because I ate x,y,z and/or didn't exercise."
* "What is wrong with me? I know that I should do(or not do) x,y,z"
* "I'm so stupid because I did/didn't do x,y,x"
* "I'm a failure"
I don't judge people who put such statement in their posts. I used to do the same. If you are someone who is prone to do this, here's a question for you:
**Would you say the same thing(s) to me because of what I just confessed?
If Yes, why? Why is the candy bar in and of itself that terrible? The vegetable, albeit only one, is still one more than I have traditionally eaten. What about these makes me so bad that calling me stupid and a failure is necessary? How is that helpful?
If No, why not? Come on, I know that I should eat more vegetables and less candy. I'm falling short of the mark just as you are. Why would you let me off of the hook but not yourself? Why do I deserve more grace than you on this?
Is it because you think that you're better than I am ("Poor stupid TD just can't hack it. Why beat a dead horse?")? Or is it because you think that you're less deserving of grace ("He's worth helping, but I know myself and I'm not")? Either way, you're judging yourself very differently than you judge me (and likely others).
Bottom line: Treat the bad day/week/binge lack of exercise as something that needs to be addressed. Don't judge yourself as a failure/stupid. The former can and will probably set you free. The later will keep you failing.
Treat yourself with the same dignity, love, compassion and care as you would others.
Next time you do something or have a day where you feel like mentally beating yourself up, come onto my page. Leave a comment on my page telling me exactly what you would tell yourself, regarding my confessions. I can take it. I will even post a comment above saying that I told you to do it (so other visitors will know why).
Tell me how stupid I am for eating that candy bar. Ask me what is wrong with me, because I only ate 1 vegetable. Tell me how much you hate me for not living up to expectations. Bring it. I'm tough I can take it. I will politely, gently and respectfully dialogue with you about it, but please do it.
I doubt that you will do (or would even consider doing) the challenge above. So in all earnestness, try the following:
* Ask yourself if it was just a bad day or is it a pattern?
* If it's one bad day, examine the circumstances and come up with a solution for next time you're in the situation. Make sure it's really an issue worth addressing.
* If it's a pattern, address it. Read articles on emotional/stress/boredom issues or food/sugar addictions. There are tons of articles, teams and staff blogs about these issues. Heck, if you do a web search, you get a SparkPoint(and who doesn't want that?)
* Address the underlying issue. If it's loneliness, be more aggressive about hanging around with friends and family. If it's boredom, get more involved in activities (sports, social groups, volunteering)
* Go ahead and be frustrated, but only for a short time. Don't let it linger. Don't let it turn into self-flagellation.
Judge yourself only as harshly as you would judge someone who is trying hard and falling short. Help yourself as you would help them.
Again, treat yourself with the same dignity, love, compassion and care as you would others.
- TD out (to get his daily candy bar, perhaps)
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