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Let's Review, Shall We? (Please Please read)

Sunday, December 06, 2009


Recently, I hit my 10 pound milestone. I give thanks to my friends who have supported me whenever I've needed it and to SparkPeople itself for doing what it does (and, of course, God for providing!). Much love to all of you.

Below are links to the three blogs I've written that I wish everyone could get a chance to read. All three of them came from realizations that I had about myself, my life and my thought process.

They are the realizations that have brought me success and have changed my life. I hope that they change yours. Please PLEASE allow me to share them with you.
Bad Day:


Self Loathing:


Have a great week,

-TD Out

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 12/6/2009 9:19PM

    Hey there! Loved your review. I hadn't yet read the first two. I can really relate to them all, and I appreciate the reminder to examine what we did/ate on a good day and compare it to what we eat on a bad day. I have not been doing this...I will start right away. I get uncontrollable urges to eat things like icecream, etc. if I don't have any fat. I use PB too, and sometimes full fat salad dressing. If we are not satisfied, we won't stick with it.

And Hot Dog are you a Wallace and Grommit fan, or is it just chance that you used that for your image? I love Wallace and Grommit. Yes I am a grown up, but the work that goes into the claymation is unbelievable, and the expressions on their faces say more than words can.

I am hoping you hang around after you reach your goals. You are a treasure trove of insight for the rest of us. Hope you have a great week.

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10 Pounds........GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Starting Weight: 225.0
Last weeks weight: 215.2 (total loss: 9.8)
This morning's weight 214.4 (total loss 10.6)
Usually I am reluctant to talk about being below a certain milestone weight unless I've been below it for a few weeks. At this point, however, the weight loss has become steady. I know that I will continue to go down each week, maybe with an exception or two.

I have a goal weight of 209.8 by the end of the year. I know my BMR, the calories for almost all foods I eat regularly. Below are my strategies for the next 3-4 weeks:

* Core work: Build muscles in abs/lower back etc. This area is mostly untapped muscle-wise
* Higher calorie-burning cardio workouts (bye exercise bikes, hello eliptical)
* Increased focus on eating less than 2600 calories/day (I've been doing this 3-4 days per week. Going forward, I'm shooting for 5-6)

Bottom Line: 209.8 by 12/31 will be a close shave, but I can definitely do it

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 12/5/2009 10:41PM

    Congratulations! It sounds like you have gained such confidence in your ability to keep working toward your goals! I envy you....I have lost that and I want it back! thanks for stopping by to say hi. I have had a rough week, but show me the man with no shoes and I'll show you the man without feet...I haven't had any tragedies. Just too much to do, too little time. Somehow I have got to plan ahead so this doesn't happen again. I have never gone a whole week without tracking, and making a concious effort to reach specific goals each day. I just couldn't do it this week. Even if I do run out of time to visit sparkpeople, in the future I would like to somehow maintain sanity, feel in control of my day, and jot down my goals/nutrition on paper until I can get to a computer.

Sorry for grumping. I haven't blogged in a week either so I have been saving it all up. We really enjoy reading of your success! It is like a breath of fresh air. You are doing awesome!

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CONFIDENTLY_FIT 12/5/2009 9:24PM

    YEAH!! Congrats on your loss!!

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LABONTE01 12/5/2009 3:48PM

    Great job - keep on doing whatever you are doing, it's sure working! emoticon emoticon

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MEADSBAY 12/5/2009 2:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
That is SO awesome!

Comment edited on: 12/5/2009 2:27:29 PM

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SROBBINS02 12/5/2009 1:24PM

    Well done! emoticon

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BIKERCHICK74 12/5/2009 11:08AM

    YOU ROCK !!!!!

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REINVENTLAURA 12/5/2009 10:53AM

    Congrats on 10 pounds being gone!

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IMFIT4ME 12/5/2009 10:05AM

    wow- your incredible!! your doing very good- but I like your attitude behind it- confident and assured, and driven! I can feel your motivation!!! love that!!

send some my way! LOL! I read you help people! maybe you can help me fine tune LOL!!! (I am totally being serious too...)


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Left O-Town

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

** Warning: This is not a blog about boy bands. This really is all or nothing **

I Hulu'd the biggest loser tonight. I watched week 10 (last week on the ranch). One of the two challenges had to do with questions regarding obesity and finances. Several of the questions had to with the "cost of obesity" both individually and nationally.

It was weird. I've been obese for most of the 00s. Throughout the decade, I've heard the statistics about obesity and how it costs the individual in opportunities/wages and how it costs the country millions in health care. While for the most part, I've been not too far above the obesity line, there was always that tiny little voice in my head saying/whispering "That's you. You're part of the problem". This of course accompanied by the perfunctory "You're a failure".

For the last 3 week's weigh-ins, I've been below the obesity bmi and moving further from it. My bmr is higher. My eating has been the healthiest since, well, ever.

Tonight hearing the same statistics regarding obesity for the first time as a non-obese person was sobering. It was almost like moving out of a crime ridden area and listening to the local news reports on the car radio on the way to the new house. Same initial shame/frustrated reaction followed by a "wait a minute that's not me anymore. I don't live there. I've moved out!"

I understand that I still have a long long way to go before I reach an actual healthy weight, but each day I realize more the freedom that I'm living. The radio signal is starting to fade. Thank you, SparkPeople!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 12/4/2009 12:01AM

    I had the same sort of experience in my thinking.
I always felt resentful and never really accepted the OBESE tag.
Now I feel like I have shed my skin and joined the 'only' overweight crowd.
I recently changed my goal to reach the normal weight group.
I'm half way there.


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SROBBINS02 12/3/2009 5:06PM

    Dammit, I thought you were going to start singing Liquid Dreams. Ahem.

Whoooo success! High five! (Can you tell I was a cheerleader? Yes we have them occasionally in the UK too, and I wore my old cheerleading shirt to the gym tonight, I was well cool.) I totally agree- I don't think ANYTHING was as hard as writing on my spark page intro '...and I'm obese', nor ANYTHING as gratifying as seeing that BMI marker change from obese. That word has such negative connotations, as you say- and there's a lot of guilt tied up in being one of the epidemic, one of the 'bad' people. Which is crazy, cause those bad feelings can keep people from doing good things, like making steps to change- as they already think of themselves as failures. Argh! Drives me mental.

Cool! Glad to hear you're doing well on the food front. How are the fruits and veggie portions going?


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Totally Didn't Notice...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

It's weird(audience: What's weird?). I'm glad you asked.

A goal that I've had for two years has been to be below 220 for 3 straight weeks. I was stuck at 220/221 for seven weeks straight. Went below for one week, then went back above.

It seems like since I've realized that a bad day can just be one bad day, I've actually stopped obsessing about my weight. I feel so confident that I'm going to meet my year end goal that not only are potential setbacks not scaring me, but I'm not even noticing milestones.

The last two weeks I've been at 216.x. This week was 215.2. I actually made the three week below 220 goal and I just noticed this now. This morning, a day after my weigh-in, I realized that I am .2 pounds from my 10 pound milestone. This totally didn't register yesterday.

Now that I know my activity adjusted BMR, am exercising regularly and eating a relatively healthy amount of calories, I feel free. I'm not worrying about my weight, I'm feeling more free to help others who are having a tough day. Heck, I even feel like of I were to miss my 209.8 end of year goal, it probably wouldn't bother me too much (not that I won't fight for it until the end). I'll get there eventually and figure out what's slowing the weight loss.

Bottom Line: My weight doesn't own me anymore.

- TD out

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SROBBINS02 11/30/2009 9:18PM

    Haha! Brilliant, you're doing so well you didn't even notice you'd *made the 3 week below 220 goal*. Personally, I think that's when you know something's not just a fad, it's how you live... what do you think homey? (am still feeling gangsta. You get me?)

And yeah, I did ask the question at the top of the blog. So I'm a good member of the audience, so sue me. emoticon


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PHOXYM 11/30/2009 4:49PM

    Well Mister IMHO I think that you need to take a little bit of your focus off of the rest of us and apply that to yourself!!! Way to go and I am hella proud of you!! emoticon

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MIMODOK 11/29/2009 9:28PM

    That's the perfect attitude to have. It's not about the numbers, it's about the making the journey to a healthier lifestyle. It's about making a commitment to yourself and achieving an extraordinary goal. Also, the best kind of leadership is leadership by example. You are improving the lives of the people closest to you even if they aren't aware of it.

Ten pounds is a lot! Keep it up!

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What is Wrong With Me? I Hate Myself!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

* I eat a candy bar a day (sometimes two)
* At most, I eat only one vegetable a day

I read so many posts with titles and statements like the following:
* "I hate myself because I ate x,y,z and/or didn't exercise."
* "What is wrong with me? I know that I should do(or not do) x,y,z"
* "I'm so stupid because I did/didn't do x,y,x"
* "I'm a failure"

I don't judge people who put such statement in their posts. I used to do the same. If you are someone who is prone to do this, here's a question for you:

**Would you say the same thing(s) to me because of what I just confessed?

If Yes, why? Why is the candy bar in and of itself that terrible? The vegetable, albeit only one, is still one more than I have traditionally eaten. What about these makes me so bad that calling me stupid and a failure is necessary? How is that helpful?

If No, why not? Come on, I know that I should eat more vegetables and less candy. I'm falling short of the mark just as you are. Why would you let me off of the hook but not yourself? Why do I deserve more grace than you on this?

Is it because you think that you're better than I am ("Poor stupid TD just can't hack it. Why beat a dead horse?")? Or is it because you think that you're less deserving of grace ("He's worth helping, but I know myself and I'm not")? Either way, you're judging yourself very differently than you judge me (and likely others).

Bottom line: Treat the bad day/week/binge lack of exercise as something that needs to be addressed. Don't judge yourself as a failure/stupid. The former can and will probably set you free. The later will keep you failing.

Treat yourself with the same dignity, love, compassion and care as you would others.

Next time you do something or have a day where you feel like mentally beating yourself up, come onto my page. Leave a comment on my page telling me exactly what you would tell yourself, regarding my confessions. I can take it. I will even post a comment above saying that I told you to do it (so other visitors will know why).

Tell me how stupid I am for eating that candy bar. Ask me what is wrong with me, because I only ate 1 vegetable. Tell me how much you hate me for not living up to expectations. Bring it. I'm tough I can take it. I will politely, gently and respectfully dialogue with you about it, but please do it.

Real Challenge:
I doubt that you will do (or would even consider doing) the challenge above. So in all earnestness, try the following:
* Ask yourself if it was just a bad day or is it a pattern?
* If it's one bad day, examine the circumstances and come up with a solution for next time you're in the situation. Make sure it's really an issue worth addressing.
* If it's a pattern, address it. Read articles on emotional/stress/boredom issues or food/sugar addictions. There are tons of articles, teams and staff blogs about these issues. Heck, if you do a web search, you get a SparkPoint(and who doesn't want that?)
* Address the underlying issue. If it's loneliness, be more aggressive about hanging around with friends and family. If it's boredom, get more involved in activities (sports, social groups, volunteering)
* Go ahead and be frustrated, but only for a short time. Don't let it linger. Don't let it turn into self-flagellation.

Bottom Line:
Judge yourself only as harshly as you would judge someone who is trying hard and falling short. Help yourself as you would help them.

Again, treat yourself with the same dignity, love, compassion and care as you would others.

- TD out (to get his daily candy bar, perhaps)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOYO-NOMO 12/6/2009 10:39AM

    Great blog!! When I give other people advice, I often suggest that they treat themselves like their own best friend - would you think your best friend was a total screw-up for eating 3000 calories at the holiday party? No - you'd tell them you hoped they had a great time and and offer to join them in a workout to burn off some of the extra calories. (note to self - take your own advice!).

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TREBLE02 12/6/2009 10:22AM

    im so with ya! I have eaten desert 6/7 nights a week since june and am down 71 lbs! YAY! I think i will go CRAZY if i am too strict!! Thanks for a great post!

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PHOXYM 11/28/2009 6:50PM

    Not much more that I can say as it has been said!! Wonderful and insightful blog!!! You are a real person and just from your words I can tell that you are compassionate and you are a great person!! This blog is motivation and inspirational to me and made me ponder if I have ever done that before and I am sure that of course I have, but I will accept your challenge and think twice!!

Hope you are enjoying your weekend!!


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YANKEE-CHICK 11/27/2009 1:55PM

    This blog is very interesting. I know for a fact that my husband would be thrilled if I stopped saying...I am so fat, or so stupid for making that choice or for doing this thing. Drives him crazy. You are right, I would never ever ever say something like that to you or anyone else. I would tell you to be kind to yourself and to take care of you....

thanks for the great blog...
(and the comment on mine as well.)

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PRINCESSPP 11/27/2009 10:17AM

    Very good posting ...

I've learned over the years --- I have done alot of self searching, because I am truly an emotional eater .. however, I have learned it takes more energy to beat myself up than to just pick up my "big girl panties" and move on ..

Thank you for visiting my blog, and stop by anytime .. unfortunately I don't post much there however, that is one of my "new years resolutions" to start more frequently than once a month .. lol .. I start my resolutions about this time, because it takes 21 days to start a habit .. ;-)

And also thank you for your compliment on my little Princess .. she is the light of my life!!! Her name is Princess Powder Puff (Puff for short -- or Monkey .. since she's got personality up the wazoo and full of Monkeyshines ;) ) Ergo my on line name Princess PP .. :)

All joking and small talk aside .. look at this realistically next time you want to beat yourself up over your candy-bar .. The more you beat yourself up .. the more you think about it .. You're right -- look for the "underlying" reason .. why you need that candy bar .. The next time you "need that candybar" .. redirect yourself -- go for a walk (don't recall seeing whereabouts you're at), if you can get outside .. GET OUTSIDE and enjoy the fresh air, and sunshine !!! Do you have any NONfood enjoyments that you can do when the craving hits ... are there any "substitutes" that you can eat in place of your candy bar .. Maybe it's the chocolate .. do you drink Coffee .. they have some AWESOME chocolate sugar free syrups out there .. that you can add to coffee, or milk or anything more healthy than that candy bar .. :) There are so many other options, but beating yourself up ... you're dwelling on the situation and putting it foremost in your mind ...

Just my 2 cents worth here .. It takes alot of practice to "self analyze" ... and I've been working on it for 25 years or more .. (for other reasons .. ;) )

Wishing you good luck today !!! And thank you again for stopping by to visit . .Your post was very uplifting !!!

Oh yea -- sorry -- I tend to babble on my postings .. :?

Comment edited on: 11/27/2009 10:18:36 AM

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SROBBINS02 11/27/2009 7:50AM

    You're so right... **Why** are so many of us so cruel to ourselves, when we'd never even contemplate being that way with others?? Love your blog and will bear in mind in the future emoticon

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SPEEDYDOG 11/26/2009 10:31PM

    Hi TD,

Very thought provoking. I am going to think about your ideas. I don't worry too much if I have a few "bad days". I just try to make the good days (proper diet and/or exercise) outnumber the bad days.

Good blog!

Thanks, Bruce

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TSEWARD 11/26/2009 9:52PM

    THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME! I dig your do have a way with words. When I read your confessions my first thought was.."cool, I am not the only one who has great appetite for sweets and almost zero for veggies". As I read on, my comments were "Wow, up one vegetable a day from none is a huge step forward". And as far as the daily candy bar, I can totally relate. I need to know I can have just one treat, or I go nuts. And you are right, what is one candy bar? I guess I would like my nutrition to look like this:
8 glasses water
celery with bean curd
plain chicken breast
but I would Hate eating like that. In my mind, unless I am eating healthy all the time I am falling short.
Okay I feel the tirade and self hate coming on and I am going to stop it now.
Your insight on our tendency to berate ourselves and the foolishness of it really hits home.
"* If it's a pattern, address it. Read articles on emotional/stress/boredom issues or food/sugar addictions. There are tons of articles, teams and staff blogs about these issues."
the above is totally me. I will address the issue. I appreciate your comments/blogs!

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