Thursday, November 19, 2009
Hmmm. Today I ate almost 3200 calories. I was hungry all day long. Yeah. The rest of this week, I've been eating 2400-2500 calories. On paper, I totally screwed the pooch today. I should be really upset. I should be posting a self-loathing blog, complaining about how I'm a total failure. Heck, I should even be adding humorous non-sequiter footnotes(*1) as a coping mechanism to deal with such a horrific failure. But for some reason I'm just not feelin' it.
You see (*2) I've been through this before. I had an eight day binge when I first started exercising that lead to a whopping .2 pound gain. I was in mental agony every day and all for nothing. I've stepped up my workout big time in the last two weeks. I can feel my legs getting really muscular from the walking that I've been doing. I'm hungry again (aaaaah).
I've had two weeks with generally really good eating. Met all of my calorie goals and been exercising fairly rigorously. Heck, I'm losing weight!!! I'm on track to be 209.8 by the end of the year. Even if I'm not by then, I will get there soon after.
The thing is this: My frustrations regarding my plateau and overeating were not from a sense of failure from a bad day of eating. It was a fear of being trapped, a feeling like I could never overcome. I would always be fat. It wasn't about a bad day, it was the same day (or week) over and over. I couldn't break the cycle. No matter how many times well-meaning blog respondents would say "tomorrow is another day" and "you can do it!(*3)", tomorrow was never different and I didn't believe that I could do it. Let me say this loud and clear TODAY IS THE DAY AND I CAN DO IT!!! (*4). The cycle is broken.
How about you? Did you have a "bad day" or is this a bad pattern that you are in? Are you really frustrated because you ate poorly today/this week/this weekend? Or is it that you feel trapped in a cycle of failure? If it's the former, get over it (a bad penny out of 100 still leaves you 99 cents(*5)).
If it's the later, I grieve for you. I know how hard it is. All I can say is keep trying. Look at your food journal for patterns. Read the nutrition articles about general nutrition and make sure you're getting enough nutrients, lean protein, healthy fats, whole grains, etc.. Intentional persistence has paid big dividends for me. I believe it will pay them to you as well. Don't hang in there. Re-examine. Make modifications. Pray and meditate about what to do. Break the cycle!!
Yes I had a "bad day" today.....
and yes, I'm "over it" now(*6).
- TD Out
(*1) Like this one!
(*2) Yes, I'm talking to you.
(*3) Often times with emoticons. Emoticons rock!
(*4) ALL CAPS= "Loud and Clear
(*5) When did they take the cent sign off of these confounded typewriters!? Consarn it!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
What a Day! Boy the temptations came fast and furious.
12:30: I go down to the Cafeteria where I work to get lunch. Dave (the owner) has marinated chicken breast and pork tips. The truly healthy decision would have been the chicken, but I had 6-8 oz of lean pork budgeted for calorie-wise. Unfortunately Dave (a) didn't cut the fat off of the tips and (b) felt really generous with the portions (btw his pork dishes are really good). So as I watched him heap on what I would estimate to be 10oz of pork, I cringed.
I thought "Great, I'm screwed calorie wise". I was resigned to the fact that I was probably going to go over. About halfway through the tips it occurred to me "Wait a minute!!!! I don't actually have to eat all of them!!!!!" And I didn't. I trashed about 3oz of tips. I felt proud.
3:00: Extremely stressful meeting with my boss. Not bad stress, mind you. Just a lot of potential disappointment from him and a big decision that I needed to address regarding my career. All of it potentially very good, but very risky as well. Though it went well, my nerves were kind of shot by the end. I needed a drink! No, something stronger.....I needed Chocolate!!!!
I literally had the dollar bill at the tip of the insert on the vending machine. I thought to myself "Is this really what you want" and mentally responded with "Hell, yes!!!!". So don't ask me how I did this, but I forced myself over to the refrigerator and got a cucumber. Victory numero dos!!
5:00: Someone on the train had McDonalds. It smelled really good. I wanted it. I struggled home and still managed to make dinner at home. Yay!!!
So it was a good day. A tough day, but a good one.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Two years ago when I was 20 pounds heavier, I bought two pair of Oleg Cassini jeans. Yeah, I called good ol' Oleg and ordered me some. The conversation might have gone something like the following:
(imagination sequence begins)
Oleg: (picks up phone )Hello?
TD: Oleg! Baby! Wassup!?
Oleg: Hi loser, what do you want?
TD: I need Jeans and I need them hasta la chop-chop-snap-snap.
Oleg: OK, let me get your measurements. What's your waist?
Oleg: (snickers)Is that in inches or feet?
TD: Oh, Ha ha. You're funny. Inches.
Oleg: Wow, what are you going to do? Stop eating for two years straight?
TD: Shut up, man! I can fit into that. Just send them when you're done.
Oleg: OK. Say, what's that chomping noise? Are you eating baco...
(TD slams phone down)
(imagination sequence ends)
Yeah, that's exactly how my purchase went (*1).
So anyway, suffice it to say neither pair fit. One had the faded-front look with a 7 for all mankind type design on the back pocket. The other was a pair of the pointy flapped back pockets with a metal button. The former was so tight, my back almost went into spasms after 30 seconds. The later simply wouldn't close even with gut totally sucked in. I chose not to return them because I figured that they would fit on that someday when I finally lost enough weight.
Well, two years and 20 pounds later, I am proud to say that I wore the faded-front pair all day today and they felt good. I even wore them outside of the house. I am really excited. I have a new pair of jeans and they look really cool. Anyway, don't ask me why I felt the need to share this (*2).
- TD out
(*1) Or maybe I found them cheap at Marshall's. Definitely one of the two.
(*2) Oh, OK, you can ask. No big deal. I may not have a great answer though.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
* I'm on the lose 10 pounds by 2010 team
* Last week's weigh-in, my weight did not go down (it actually increased by a few ounces)
* Have been hovering between 220 and 222 for about 2 months now.
* Last week's weight 220.4
This week, my current weight is (Dramatic music played during the "your current weight is" potion of the biggest loser starts) 216.8!!!! (crowd claps, fellow teammates put hands over their mouth, Bob or Jillian look stupified, TRENTDREAMER starts tearing up, etc.). OK, I've been watching way WAY too much of the Biggest Loser. Gotta love Hulu!!
OK, I'm now back in the game. It comes down to roughly 1 pound per week for the next 7 weeks. It's tough but doable.
The gym has become part of my daily routine. Most of my dinners this week were made at home. Yesterday I brought lunch to work. I even decided to do a "last chance workout" set of workouts 3 short, but very intense workouts in the morning, lunch time and by the end of the night (both cardio and weights). My daily calories have been 2400-2500, rather than 2900-3200 as in previous weeks.
I got my 10+ miles of walking for my 10x2010 team's challenge. Knees are sore, so I'm watching it. Today I will probably do some light swimming and core while the rest of my body rebuilds muscles.
So yeah, this was a really good week. Hope that you are well. Have a great weekend!!!
- TD out
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
For some reason, I really don't have much to say. No rants, no drama about the upcoming weigh-in, No stupid footnotes/post scripts at the end of this blog(*1). So I'm going to post my usual morning eating pattern. I vary it from day to day but this is basically it. Hope that this helps/inspires you.
6:30ish: lean protein with fat: 2 fried eggs, 3-4 oz of chicken or ground turkey w/ 1T olive oil, etc. [150-210 calories]
8:30ish: 1/2C Fiber one & 1/2 cup milk (skim, soy, rice, almond or whatever) [105-120 calories]
9:30ish 1/3-1/2C Country Choice oats/multi-grain cereal and 2T peanut butter (or pecans or raisins.) Often add cinnamon. [290-320 calories]
I am very rarely hungry before lunch time. The peanut butter really knocks my hunger right out. You can adjust the portions and ingredients according to your weight loss goals, eating style or what ever the Rice Crispies tell you to do (*2). Whatever works for you. Bon Appetit.
- TD out
(*1) Or are there?
(*2) Heck, they told me to go with the Fiber One (No ulterior motive there, I'm sure).
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