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One of those days when you realize....

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Today was awesome, I visited a friend of mine in the city. We agreed to have breakfast. He brought two DD pumpkin muffins and a lot of fruit. It was great. He knows that I'm trying to lose weight so he brought fresh blueberries, strawberries and blackberries. I had just done a huge weight workout, so I was thankful for the muffin.

What made the day really awesome was after we ate, we took a two mile walk (give or take) and I wasn't tired. about three quarters of the way through, I realized, "Wow, there is no way that I could have done this two months ago.". I would have been totally winded and my knees would have been sore. My friend even commented that I kept a good pace.

I'm already starting to see where this healthier lifestyle can take me and I am liking it.

- TD Out

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHISHYCAT 11/28/2009 5:26PM

    That's a great realization! Good for you!

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KELPIE57 11/25/2009 2:20PM

    I've enjoyed reading back through your earlier's encouraging to think that you have make so much progress so quickly!

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SILVER_FORK_0_0 11/24/2009 9:10PM

    Oh it sounds like a great day! Fresh fruit is the best!
Thanks for the comment and I hope everything continues to go well for you!

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SYRIANA02 11/21/2009 3:49PM

  Hi....I love this blog and I am happy for you, I felt the same way when I started exercising more and with more resistance....keep up the good work .:*^*:.Congratulations.:*^*:.

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A "Bad" Day

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Hmmm. Today I ate almost 3200 calories. I was hungry all day long. Yeah. The rest of this week, I've been eating 2400-2500 calories. On paper, I totally screwed the pooch today. I should be really upset. I should be posting a self-loathing blog, complaining about how I'm a total failure. Heck, I should even be adding humorous non-sequiter footnotes(*1) as a coping mechanism to deal with such a horrific failure. But for some reason I'm just not feelin' it.

You see (*2) I've been through this before. I had an eight day binge when I first started exercising that lead to a whopping .2 pound gain. I was in mental agony every day and all for nothing. I've stepped up my workout big time in the last two weeks. I can feel my legs getting really muscular from the walking that I've been doing. I'm hungry again (aaaaah).

I've had two weeks with generally really good eating. Met all of my calorie goals and been exercising fairly rigorously. Heck, I'm losing weight!!! I'm on track to be 209.8 by the end of the year. Even if I'm not by then, I will get there soon after.

The thing is this: My frustrations regarding my plateau and overeating were not from a sense of failure from a bad day of eating. It was a fear of being trapped, a feeling like I could never overcome. I would always be fat. It wasn't about a bad day, it was the same day (or week) over and over. I couldn't break the cycle. No matter how many times well-meaning blog respondents would say "tomorrow is another day" and "you can do it!(*3)", tomorrow was never different and I didn't believe that I could do it. Let me say this loud and clear TODAY IS THE DAY AND I CAN DO IT!!! (*4). The cycle is broken.

How about you? Did you have a "bad day" or is this a bad pattern that you are in? Are you really frustrated because you ate poorly today/this week/this weekend? Or is it that you feel trapped in a cycle of failure? If it's the former, get over it (a bad penny out of 100 still leaves you 99 cents(*5)).

If it's the later, I grieve for you. I know how hard it is. All I can say is keep trying. Look at your food journal for patterns. Read the nutrition articles about general nutrition and make sure you're getting enough nutrients, lean protein, healthy fats, whole grains, etc.. Intentional persistence has paid big dividends for me. I believe it will pay them to you as well. Don't hang in there. Re-examine. Make modifications. Pray and meditate about what to do. Break the cycle!!

Yes I had a "bad day" today.....

and yes, I'm "over it" now(*6).

- TD Out

(*1) Like this one!
(*2) Yes, I'm talking to you.
(*3) Often times with emoticons. Emoticons rock!
(*4) ALL CAPS= "Loud and Clear
(*5) When did they take the cent sign off of these confounded typewriters!? Consarn it!!!
(*6) Seriously

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLEY2010 1/24/2010 10:06AM

  This really hit home for me right now. Im living my vicious cycle at its peak. I wish you were here to hold my hand over the hurdles. I wake up with good intentions and just never hold myself accountable. I always just say... Ill start tomorrow. But tomorrow becomes monday and monday becomes the first of the month and then the next first.... cycle cycle cycle!!

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SUSAN_SPG 12/7/2009 11:08AM

    I beat myself up for eating too much Thanksgiving week and I ended up losing a pound, so I totally hear ya on this one. :)
I liked your footnotes, too!

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YOYO-NOMO 12/6/2009 10:33AM

    Great blog - thank you for sharing your realizations with us.

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PHOXYM 11/21/2009 12:14AM

    All I can say is.. When DID they remove the cent sign???? WTH!!! I just realized that.. thanks for pointing it out!!

But for the real, that was a great blog and motivating for all of us who read it!!! I do believe that it is true how everyone says hang in there and you make a great point to take control and not let crap get to you!!!

You; my friend, are TOTALLY TUBULAR!! emoticon

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SPRINGTIME69 11/20/2009 8:21AM

    Great blog, thank you for the insight - "bad day" vs. "bad" pattern.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/20/2009 8:21:14 AM

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HEALTHY_CAROLYN 11/19/2009 11:36PM

    Congrats on not letting the "bad" day translate into feeling bad about yourself! I wholeheartedly agree with that approach and your message of perseverance. Thanks for sharing!

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FLUENTFROG 11/19/2009 11:09PM

    Love this post -- I had a similar 'bad' day and similar 'aha' that took me out of the self-loath cycle this week too. Well put!

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RUNBECSRUN 11/19/2009 10:47PM

    yay for you!!! this game really is 99% mental, isn't it? you fail because you believe you're a failure. you overeat to drown your depression from overeating because you think that's how it has to be. but you're not, and it doesn't! i think i'm finally leaving that mentality behind, too.

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Thrice Tempted, Thrice Victorious

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What a Day! Boy the temptations came fast and furious.

12:30: I go down to the Cafeteria where I work to get lunch. Dave (the owner) has marinated chicken breast and pork tips. The truly healthy decision would have been the chicken, but I had 6-8 oz of lean pork budgeted for calorie-wise. Unfortunately Dave (a) didn't cut the fat off of the tips and (b) felt really generous with the portions (btw his pork dishes are really good). So as I watched him heap on what I would estimate to be 10oz of pork, I cringed.

I thought "Great, I'm screwed calorie wise". I was resigned to the fact that I was probably going to go over. About halfway through the tips it occurred to me "Wait a minute!!!! I don't actually have to eat all of them!!!!!" And I didn't. I trashed about 3oz of tips. I felt proud.

3:00: Extremely stressful meeting with my boss. Not bad stress, mind you. Just a lot of potential disappointment from him and a big decision that I needed to address regarding my career. All of it potentially very good, but very risky as well. Though it went well, my nerves were kind of shot by the end. I needed a drink! No, something stronger.....I needed Chocolate!!!!

I literally had the dollar bill at the tip of the insert on the vending machine. I thought to myself "Is this really what you want" and mentally responded with "Hell, yes!!!!". So don't ask me how I did this, but I forced myself over to the refrigerator and got a cucumber. Victory numero dos!!

5:00: Someone on the train had McDonalds. It smelled really good. I wanted it. I struggled home and still managed to make dinner at home. Yay!!!

So it was a good day. A tough day, but a good one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETTIN2OLD4THIS 11/19/2009 12:45AM

    Constant temptations like that throughout the day wear me the heck out. Good going on kicking them all in the butt. Keep it up and soon they won't be temptations at all!

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CLMANCHESTER 11/18/2009 6:00PM

    Way to go!

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MEADSBAY 11/17/2009 10:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The Cassinis Fit!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Two years ago when I was 20 pounds heavier, I bought two pair of Oleg Cassini jeans. Yeah, I called good ol' Oleg and ordered me some. The conversation might have gone something like the following:

(imagination sequence begins)
Oleg: (picks up phone )Hello?
TD: Oleg! Baby! Wassup!?
Oleg: Hi loser, what do you want?
TD: I need Jeans and I need them hasta la chop-chop-snap-snap.
Oleg: OK, let me get your measurements. What's your waist?
TD: 38
Oleg: (snickers)Is that in inches or feet?
TD: Oh, Ha ha. You're funny. Inches.
Oleg: Wow, what are you going to do? Stop eating for two years straight?
TD: Shut up, man! I can fit into that. Just send them when you're done.
Oleg: OK. Say, what's that chomping noise? Are you eating baco...
(TD slams phone down)
(imagination sequence ends)

Yeah, that's exactly how my purchase went (*1).

So anyway, suffice it to say neither pair fit. One had the faded-front look with a 7 for all mankind type design on the back pocket. The other was a pair of the pointy flapped back pockets with a metal button. The former was so tight, my back almost went into spasms after 30 seconds. The later simply wouldn't close even with gut totally sucked in. I chose not to return them because I figured that they would fit on that someday when I finally lost enough weight.

Well, two years and 20 pounds later, I am proud to say that I wore the faded-front pair all day today and they felt good. I even wore them outside of the house. I am really excited. I have a new pair of jeans and they look really cool. Anyway, don't ask me why I felt the need to share this (*2).

- TD out
(*1) Or maybe I found them cheap at Marshall's. Definitely one of the two.

(*2) Oh, OK, you can ask. No big deal. I may not have a great answer though.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETTIN2OLD4THIS 11/16/2009 3:51PM

    That is so cool. I remember how cool it is to fit into jeans you haven't been able to in a while. Good going.

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PHOXYM 11/14/2009 7:27PM

    LOL I inspired you!!! I just fit into my old jeans now you fit into yours!! The day is great!!!! and me being the smart A** that I am, I was wondering why you posted this blog?????

Anyhoo have a great weekend and get out there and show off your new pants! emoticon

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Down Down Down!!!!!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

* I'm on the lose 10 pounds by 2010 team
* Last week's weigh-in, my weight did not go down (it actually increased by a few ounces)
* Have been hovering between 220 and 222 for about 2 months now.
* Last week's weight 220.4

This week, my current weight is (Dramatic music played during the "your current weight is" potion of the biggest loser starts) 216.8!!!! (crowd claps, fellow teammates put hands over their mouth, Bob or Jillian look stupified, TRENTDREAMER starts tearing up, etc.). OK, I've been watching way WAY too much of the Biggest Loser. Gotta love Hulu!!

OK, I'm now back in the game. It comes down to roughly 1 pound per week for the next 7 weeks. It's tough but doable.

The gym has become part of my daily routine. Most of my dinners this week were made at home. Yesterday I brought lunch to work. I even decided to do a "last chance workout" set of workouts 3 short, but very intense workouts in the morning, lunch time and by the end of the night (both cardio and weights). My daily calories have been 2400-2500, rather than 2900-3200 as in previous weeks.

I got my 10+ miles of walking for my 10x2010 team's challenge. Knees are sore, so I'm watching it. Today I will probably do some light swimming and core while the rest of my body rebuilds muscles.

So yeah, this was a really good week. Hope that you are well. Have a great weekend!!!

- TD out

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRADTRAV 11/14/2009 8:32AM

    Congratulations!! That's a great success!! emoticon

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SEONAG 11/14/2009 7:03AM

    Wow! You really are on track! Good news on the weight loss. It's hard when you're doing everything right and the scale doesn't move. But you can do it!

I keep reminding myself that this is a lifetime journey and part of a lifestyle I want to keep whether or not I am losing at the moment. Weight loss has really slowed down now that I am closer to my goal but I feel better and I'll stick with it.

Good luck on your challenge! Don't forget rest.


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RIDLEYRIDER 11/14/2009 7:01AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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