Saturday, July 27, 2013
My goodness, I swear that I have a tapeworm inside of me.
The hungries (*) have returned because of the kettlebell exercises. I only worked out three times seriously this week. I made them count though. The muscles are building and they apparently want calories. Like, big-time!
And yes, this is pathetic, but....
I was afraid that despite eating like 10 times my body weight in food everyday, I would only lose like a half of a pound. Midweek weigh-in pointed to that. My official weigh-in apparently had other plans (**).
**PREVIOUS WEEKS NUMBERS:
June 29: 206.0@22 (Weigh-in closest to July 1)
July 06: 206.2@21 (Last Week of Plateau )
July 13: 204.8@23
July 20: 204.2@21
July 27: 203.0@22
- Down 1.2 pounds
- Down 3.0 pounds this month (including a week of a plateau)
- 3.2 pounds from the 190s
- 8.0 pounds from my goal
203 has been a number that for some reason I've blogged about more than the others. When I was first losing weight, it was the first time I really REALLY noticed how my physical appearance was changing for the good. By contrast, when I was gaining last year, I plateaued there and noticed that my appearance was changing for the worse.
As for now, 2-0-3 iz O-K wi M-E
- TD Out!
(*) When I start hitting the gym more intensely, my appetite goes crazy. I've been through it enough times to know that I won't gain much weight if any.
(**) Most humanize/anthropomorphize their scales. Me? I dare to make the actual weigh-ins themselves my friends/enemies. I'm just awesome that way, I guess :)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
(Heavy Knock on The Door)
Voice: This is the Don't Beat YourSelf Up police! Open up!!
Trent (bows head in disappointment): Oh boy, here we go.
(opens door. 2 officers walk in)
Officer #1: Uh, yes Mr. Dreamer. We have a report of you beating yourself up in your last blog.
TD: Excellent! You have bad information. I didn't.
Officer #2: No, we have it printed out right here.
#1: Yeah, you went on for four paragraphs about all the bad food choices you made
#2: Yeah, that was most of the blog
TD: OK, so show me where I actually beat myself up, though.
#1: Well you called your decisions "mistakes"
TD: Yes I did. Because they were. Then I went on to what I learned from them. This Saturday's blog will reflect that.
#2: You ended the blog talking about how unhappy you were about the decisions.
#1: ...and that you wish you could go back and make different ones.
TD: Yes, because I was and I did. I had and still have the right to be to be unhappy about them. This week I made different ones and am happy about them. Again, show me the part(s) where I actually beat myself up.
(Both officers stare blankly at Trent)
TD: The reality, and you know it, is that I didn't beat myself up. I looked at what I did, blogged about it and learned from it. Isn't the whole point of blogging being able to share your experiences and how they affect you?
#1: Yeah but you were being negative. You need to be positive.
TD: Says who? I was positive that I made bad decisions and I was positive that this week I'd do better.
(Trent picks up vase)
#2: But shouldn't you focus more on what you did ri....
(Throws vase against wall making a really loud **CRASH**)
TD: No, I shouldn't!!! NOT IF I DON'T WANT TO! I should be free to make mistakes, be upset about them and be able to express my frustrations about them.
Sit in any locker room at half time or post game of any team that can win or could have won the game (after a bad half or game that didn't live up to their potential). Look at the coach carrying on to their team.
Look at the drill sergeant talking to his/her reports about his/her grandmother can do better than them.
Both of them know that their team/cadets/soldiers can do better. They let them know that. They let them know how.
Yes, there are people who really do dwell on everything they do wrong and it runs them down. That doesn't mean any expression of frustration will inherently lead to that. I've been the perfectionist that dwells on mistakes, I get it. But I've moved on.
Worse, I've known people who have given up blogging honestly about their frustrations both with themselves and in general, because they know their feelings are going to be marginalized because they break the 11th commandment of "Thou shalt not express any non-pleasant sentiments/emotions"!
Heck, I'll come out and say it. If a person knows that they can do better, know how to and have actually done so, they not only have the right to give themselves a bit of a tongue lashing after a bad day/week, THEY SHOULD!
(Officers cock their heads back in complete shock)
They should be able to reflect on the loss so that they can win the next game.
At the same time. If one is not succeeding and doesn't know why their stuck. They should be allowed to express their frustration and be greeted with both hugs and helpful advice from others. That's what community is supposed to be about.
Saying "Don't beat yourself up" to every expression of anything not totally all sunshine, roses and kittens allows for neither.
(Officers start inching toward the door)
This isn't church, the office or the social club where we need to have our perfect happy faces on all the time. It's real life. We should live it with and for one another.
#1 (opens door): OK we'll let you off with a warning this time
#2: Yeah! We'll let you off this time.
(Both bolt out the door)
Trent (sighs): Oh well. Time to go beat me up some dinner.
(Trent walks to kitchen to prepare dinner. Car starts up outside)
Saturday, July 20, 2013
This week I made three very tough mistakes when grocery shopping.
- Bought a pound of the 85/15% ground beef (usually buy shaved steak with lower fat, but they were out).
- Bought bread
- Bought whole milk yogurt (usually buy skim but didn't pay attention).
I usually use very high fiber cereal as my vehicle for coconut oil. The bread was higher calorie and goes bad faster. I should have put the bread in the refrigerator sooner than I did. The yogurt was tough to eat because I'm not used to it.
These were mistakes that not only wouldn't have hurt me 10-20 pounds ago, they actually would have helped because I would have enjoyed them more and eaten out less (I ate out more back then).
Now, not so much.
By about Wednesday, I had finished off the beef, put the bread in the fridge and was polishing off the yogurt. Believe me, this morning when I go grocery shopping, these mistakes will not be repeated.
** PLEASE NOTE, I AM NOT BEATING MYSELF UP. I AM SIMPLY SHARING REFLECTIONS ON SOME LESSONS-LEARNED MISTAKES**
This week, I will buy a half a pound of lean roast beef (1-2 ounces a day and it won't go bad). Going back to cereal. I will definitely be more careful when picking up the yogurt.
July 06: 206.2@21 (Last Week of Plateau )
July 13: 204.8@23
July 20: 204.2@21
- Down 0.6 pounds
- 2 pounds in 2 weeks
- Body fat more reflecting reality (my clothes fit a LOT better than two months ago)
- The plateau is caput
- 4.4 pounds from the 190's
- 9.2 pounds from my goal.
This week I'm absolutely going to kill it (and I have the eating habits to back that statement up). I am really happy with my progress both eating and exercise-wise.
Yeah I admit, I wish I could go back and fix last week, but...
(sirens in the background flare up and start coming towards Trent's apartment)
Uh oh, it's the D.B.Y.S.U. police (*). This is going to be ugly. I'll blog about it Wednesday.
- TD Out!
(*) D.B.Y.S.U. = Don't.Beat.Your.Self.Up.
I find that any time I reflect either a mistake I've made or frustration with a situation, I get several comments about not beating myself up. I get these even when (and especially when) I'm totally not. Like this blog.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I was reading my old economics textbook from college last Friday night (*). In the chapter on economic philosophy, it talked about positive vs. normative economics. The definitions confused me back then.
I figured positive economics was about an economic paradigm that was about making the economy work as best as possible. Where as normative was just "these are the economic concepts. Do A and, ceteris paribus, B will result."
It's actually the opposite. Normative economics evaluates economic policies against the social norms of a subjectively qualitative definition of good and bad.
Positive economics on the other hand, takes an economic decision or set of decisions and evaluates what will actually happen. Basically if one implements a policy, with all else staying constant, this will definitely happen. It's positive as in, one can be positive that this will be the outcome. (**)
I see a lot of non-positive "positive" thinking. A lot of "You can do it." to someone who really doesn't know how to (and therefore can't until they figure it out). I used to be this way. I know the hopeless hopefulness of it.
I used to think "positively". "I can do this!", "I just need to do this", "OK I'll just do it", etc.. That never got me to my goal. Why? Because there was something standing in my way that was inherently going to stop me. I had a sugar addiction. The only thing I could truly be positive of was that I would never hit my goal until I addressed that. I kind of knew that, but wasn't willing to fully admit it.
I am now overcoming it. I really can stop eating sugar any time. The days in the last month where I ate more sugar than usual still netted half as much as before. I have the weapons that I know (i.e. am Positive) will knock down my desire to eat sugar.
Heck, except for the last three weeks where my weight has been at a plateau, I've been forcing myself to eat enough food to keep the weight loss at 1-2 pounds per week.
Bottom line, I'm not thinking "positively" that I'm going to hit my goal in the next few months. I'm actually positive that what I am doing will lead to that. Once I get there, I don't "think" that I can maintain my weight. I know for sure, Lord willing and barring medical issues, that I will easily be able to as I continue to eat healthier.
Oh and here's the kicker. When I invariably eat too much at the holidays or summer cookouts and have a few candy bars too much. I just go back to the usual healthy foods that are now a part of my life.
I'm not victorious, I'm free.
I'm not going to succeed and maintain, I'm just going to enjoy my life.
If you are trapped in the "think 'positively'" mentality but are being held back by something that has always hindered you (you what it is), address the hindrance. I beg you. Until you do that, all of the "positive thinking" in the world will keep bringing you down when the hindrance keeps holding you back.
Again, I've been there and know the hopelessness of it. Read some of my older blogs and ideas that all invariable failed. I had a "positive attitude" that I'd win the battle/war, but not the weapons to actually win it. As a result, I almost always lost. When I won, the victory was temporary. Both of those led to hopelessness and eventually me not being on SP for a year and a half.
Don't be "positive". Address what's actually holding you back.
Once you've got that you can be Positive that you'll do as well as you can.
- TD Out!
(*) It's what the cool kids do :)
(**) I know, how does he stay single?
Saturday, July 13, 2013
I did an early midweek weigh-in and after three weeks the scale finally moved!
It moved UP....!!
But it MOVED!!!
For the last three weeks my weight has not budged more than a few ounces. I would eat in the calorie range that had been losing me 1-2 pounds a week....205.8. I would eat out twice the day before a midweek (really salty fatty meals)...206.0.
I admit that I kind of enjoyed knowing that my weight wasn't going anywhere. It was like a vacation from eating well. In the comments of my 'plateaus are awesome' blog from last week I got the sense that my SparkFriends weren't sure that I was really that happy about the plateau.
**Believe me, I was.**
Would I have preferred to lose weight? Sure. But seriously... It was three weeks of being able to do whatever I want eating-wise without consequence, knowing that when the scale moved one way or another it was going to be go time.
So when the scale had me at 207 earlier this week, I was like #sweet!!!. (#gotime)
Though I had a burger and fries for lunch Thursday, I did not eat out yesterday. Which brings me to today:
June 22: 205.4@22 (Plateau Week I)
June 29: 206.0@22 (Plateau Week II)
July 06: 206.2@21 (Plateau Week III)
July 13: .......(Drum Roll)..........
- Down 1.4 pounds
- Reached my last minor milestone (below 205)
- 5.0 pounds away from 199.x
- 9.8 pounds away from my goal weight
My body fat shot up, but it almost always does when I lose weight, especially the first in awhile. Don't worry, I didn't plan on doing another Comp-In blog anytime soon once the weight started falling again. I probably will when I hit 195.
Nothing dramatic here. Just going to re-introduce the foods that got me to 206. The ones that helped me knock down my sugar cravings.
Probably going to up the ante on exercise. I've been slacking a bit and my mental game has been a bit off.
July 24 marks my 3 year anniversary of the last time I first went under 200. I don't think that that's going to happen by next week or the week after, but we'll see.
August 21 marks my 4 year anniversary of being on SparkPeople. I want 195 for one of the surrounding Saturdays. 10 pounds in 6 weeks is tough, but has never seemed more possible/doable.
- TD out!
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