Tuesday, October 23, 2012
(Trent parks in front of the store gets out of car walks toward store entrance)
Voice in TD’s head: Going to buy some new jeans, eh.
Voice: Really stylish ones for when you hit goal or ones to hold you over until you get there?
TD: You heard me. Neither.
Voice: I don’t follow
TD: What’s not to follow? I’m going to buy a pair of jeans that looks good on me and on me now.
(Trent enters store)
Voice: Um, you have four pairs of fat jeans that you’re getting by with.
Voice: So, you already own them. You’re going to lose a massive amount of weight in the next few months. Just wear them until you can fit into your thin ones again.
TD: Why? I want a new pair of jeans.
Voice: But you won’t need them in a few weeks.
TD: I don’t technically need them now. The four are looking worn. Heck I just had to take another pair out of circulation. I’m replacing those.
(Trent arrives at jeans section and grabs a pair of 38x32 jeans and looks them over)
Voice: You’re serious.
Voice: OK, Stop right there.
Voice: Some of your happiest, most victorious blogs have been about not having to wear 38x32 jeans anymore. You’ve been calling 38x32 jeans “Fat jeans”. Why are you doing this to yourself?
TD: (inquisitively) Doing what to myself, pray tell?
Voice: You know…….
TD: No, please. Say it. I dare you.
Voice: ….You’re admitting defeat!!
TD: (nods) Yup, now we’re getting somewhere. Actually, I’m not. I’m buying a new pair of jeans. I’m buying a pair of jeans that I like. A pair of jeans that will fit me well and look good on me.
Look, I liked being 210-215 pounds a lot better when I was on the downswing, weight-wise. I admit that. I refer to 38x32 jeans as “fat jeans” because I wore them when I was overweight. But hey, I’m 8 pounds away from obesity. The cold hard fact is that I am fat.
At the same time, I looked good back last time I was this weight and I look good now. I had swagger/confidence. I was dating someone who appreciated my physical appearance. The 6-8 pairs of jeans/khakis I wore were new and great looking back then. They’re not anymore. The four pairs that are still wearable are faded, dated, worn and just not attractive.
If these new jeans I buy today go back into the closet after three months then so be it. I’ll wear them if I gain the weight back in the future. Yes, it may happen. Hope it doesn’t, but it may.
I didn’t leave the house wearing ratty, worn out jeans two years ago. Why should I settle for doing so now. It’s time to move on.
Voice: Oh, I see….(pauses)…..sooooooo…
Voice: You going with the faded blue rock washed ones or the plain navy ones?
Trent: The faded ones. They’ll go better with two jackets I wear most. I may come back for the others though.
Voice: Sounds like a plan.
(Trent picks up the pair of rock washed 38x32 jeans and starts walking toward the front of the store)
Saturday, October 20, 2012
OK, so after about 6 months of very poor activity on Spark, a lot of stress and having to go back to the fat clothes that I fought so passionately to not have to wear any more, I realized that I needed to start tracking and start reestablishing some of the principles that got me almost to my goal two years ago (*)
Please note I haven’t and won’t use the term “Starting Over”….because I’m not (because this type of thing is part of the journey that I started three years ago and will end when I reach my goals).
Please note that I’m not getting back on any wagons. If I’m getting on any wagon, it’s a new one because I’m in a different place than I’ve been when on various wagon(s) in the past.
Please don’t tell me to “stop beating myself up”. I’m not. I’ve gained some weight which I know I can lose.
And please don’t tell me that tomorrow is another day. My choices will reflect whether or not that is the case (and heck, I ask rhetorically “Why wait until tomorrow?")
Now that I have all of the cliches accounted for (**)
My weight and bf% this morning:
Not numbers to write home about (***)….
but it’s where I am; four 2s and a 3 to change and a 1 to relocate.
- TD Out
(*) Wow, it’s been a while
(**) I think I’ve covered them all, anyway
(***) but hey, mom did give me stationary that I haven’t used. Makes me wish this blog was shorter, as rewriting it in cursive will be a chore.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
I joined Spark people about three years ago (August of 2009). First blog still posted.
From then though mid July of 2010 I struggled and fought towards my goal of 195, with many great and supportive SparkFriends (All of whom I love very much).
In late July of 2010, I broke through the 200 pound mark into the 190s. That Saturdays was one of the greatest success of my life. That blog still posted as well.
"Surely", I thought, "195 is just 5 pounds away". I went for it. I fought for it. I hit 195.8. plateaued for a few weeks and then gained a few. I hovered between 199 and 202 for about two years. This year under a lot of pressure in three different areas of my life, I've gained 10 pounds and have been hovering between 210 and 212.
I need to lose the weight. I need closure on 195. It's been over three years. By August of 2013, I want this war to end.
That blog will be posted early/mid next year.
Thanks for reading.
- TD Out!
Thursday, August 09, 2012
So last week, I dared myself to lose a whopping 0.4 pounds.
My weight had ballooned up to 208.2 (about 10 pounds higher than I've been at for the past couple of years).
I made a promise to myself that if I weighed 207.x pounds, I would buy myself a jacket that I really liked.
I hit my target. 207.4
So this week, I'm doing a similar dare to hit 206.x pounds. a little over a half of a pound.
This week's belated midweek points to a really close one.
We're talking Kennedy/Nixon 1960 close!
We're talking Bush/Gore 2000 close!!
We're talking Savage/Steamboat 1987 close!!!
We're talking Boxing Kitty/his Match 2012 close!!!!
So it's this Saturday. Will Trent go below 207?
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