TRENTDREAMER   15,078
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TRENTDREAMER's Recent Blog Entries

The Power of Negative Thinking Part VI ("A Life That's a Total Mess")

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I would say this type of thing to no-one but the absolute best of friends (*). It was about 3 months ago a friend of several years and I had finished dinner and were wrapping up the evening. I don’t even remember the exact comment but it was something to the tone of “Yeah, this area of my life needs some improvement, but I’ll be fine.”

I was too tired to do my classic arms flailing, “Are you serious? What are you smoking?” monologue that I usually only use with my tough-guy macho co-workers when the issue is not personal. But I wanted to.

As it was, I explained to him with barely an eye still open:

"
No you won’t, Dylan. Your life is a total mess.

You work for about a third of what you are worth. You work for a boss who has major mental issues. You work 60 hours a week. Even if you decided you wanted to leave, you have no idea what you’d want to do.

You have an uncle who you can’t stand who is cheating on your aunt who you care very deeply for. There is nothing that you can do about it and it kills you. Even if you could it would put your cousins behind the 8 ball because they are still living with them. You walk on eggshells every time you get together with them (which is often)

You go to a church that doesn’t even come close to believing what you believe and its stated religious doctrine claims it to. It knocks you down and marginalizes/ostracizes you for dissenting with them. They are the only church within reasonable distance that has a decent sized singles ministry, so you feel that you have nowhere else to go.

Speaking of which, you have an ex-girlfriend who has even more severe mental issues than your boss, by a long-shot. The girls at your church are a mind field of religiously frustrated cultural ones who are realistically there only to find a husband and get out. You have a big bulls-eye on your back in this regard. You hate it. You can’t stand them. But you stay at the church. Again, you have nowhere else to go.

There is not one area in your life that is at all satisfactory for you or even safe. This one problem you mentioned is just a symptom of your life. Even if you did address that symptom it and it went away or fixed itself, it would change nothing.
"

He sort of got it. He agreed with what I said. We are still friends.

At the same time he is not ready to deal with what it would take for this all to get addressed/fixed/eliminated.

How about you?

If Dylan was on SparkPeople and overeating was his “issue”, he would have pulled the invariable. “What’s wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself? I need to try harder. It’s time to get back on the wagon” routine.

As one who loves you very much and wants you to succeed, I want you to get real with yourself. How is your life going? Take inventory. Everything:
-Your job(s)
-Your friendships
-Your relationships
-Your religion
-Your spirituality
-Your finances
-Your dreams/desire (present and past)

Paint a picture of your life and see what percentage of your life is/isn't one that you don’t need to self-medicate with food to deal with. Even if you turn to another coping mechanism, will that sustain you long term? I ask, “Why settle?”

What is the pattern in your life?

What is that pattern based on?

In Dylan’s case, he has a pattern in his life (based on how he was taught to see himself) that he needs to break which starts by admitting that those who he believes have/had it totally right, totally don’t get it, He suffers for not living up to their expectations. He defines himself as they judge him even though they don’t even live up to their own “standards”.

How about you? Why are you where you are? Is there a root pattern in your life that you need to unroot? If so, what’s causing it? As one who loves you, I beg you to address. Otherwise, you will most likely continue in the tailspin that you’ve been flying in.

Choice is yours. Please choose wisely.

Much Love,

- TD Out!

(*) or perhaps an anonymous SparkPeople.com/Blogger.com blogosphere.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 8/23/2012 7:58AM

    Ahhhhhhh! ding! Now I get it! (the butler). After a super positive week, I have had one of the worst weeks ever. I have been selfdestructive, eating crap, going to the store and buying more crap to eat, watching depressing TV, and HATING MYSELF!!! and the weird part is I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!! But reading your blog really made me think. One thing that is becoming harder to ignore is that I am allowing my job to turn me into a person that I don't want to be, a person that I hate, and then I hate myself more for letting it happen! I am (was) empathetic, kind (for the most part), loved my customers and believed the best about them, and same with most everyone in my life. But I am in a toxic workplace all day long. I have one guy that constantly comes into my area and tries to turn me against the assistant manager, telling me how unfair it is that she gets to do this and that and I don't, and telling me to do something about it. I could give a poo less what she is doing, and I understand that this guy is just trying to instigate problems. But it wears on me! And I have started to hate my customers, hate myself, and totally change into this jaded, negative, evil, sarcastic person that my family and friends are finding it harder and harder to live with. I am not sure what I am going to do about this yet, but i am going to do something. At least I have recognized a major contributing factor to my personality changes and self destructive behavior!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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KA7MONTOYA 7/31/2012 10:30AM

    Everything you wrote has truth in it. The trouble with people is that we're so darn human and that comes with a complicated mindset(s). I find that it's much easier to find areas in my loved ones lives that need improvement than to look deep inside and concentrate on my "big picture." I tend to look at challenging areas in daily small increments. Why? Because it's all that I can handle. My world is so full of stuff...to see, to do. And much of my stuff relates to what other people need from me. Just like today. I was going to check in and go for a bike ride at 8:30 this morning. It's now 10:30 am and I'm still on this computer!

But the long and the short of living successful lives is to shed the mindsets that have chained us to our past. We all need to take on Olympic Mindsets and train ourselves as if we were in the race of our lives...and see ourselves winning.

emoticon

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FITGRL124 7/26/2012 9:39PM

    emoticon you!

You're an awesome friend!!! Thank you for this fantastic blog!



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KT-NICHOLS-13 7/26/2012 12:56AM

    "Is there a root pattern in your life that you need to unroot? If so, what’s causing it?"
What the What? You got into my head again. I'm currently on the path of success - all things point to good. THEN, then it happened and I ate like I had been starved for lifetime. Something primal took over and I ate. In the moment I knew what was happening, I felt the feelings but I couldn't put my finger on the "it" or the "why" ... it just was. I need to figure out the root - I still have some learning and discovering ahead of me.

Thanks! A most helpful blog.

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The Craziest of All Blogs Ever

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Being a typical guy, I can read womens minds. I know exactly what all yall are thinking. All thoughts. All anxieties. Everything.

Things like:
-He cant really read my mind.
-Will I ever truly reach my goal?
-Winn Dixie or Piggly Wiggly
-Justin Beibers next hit will probably be a remake of THIS song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMG4QSrZhr8

But this week I will call out what youre really thinking:
-Trents crazy revolution thats crazy and revolution-ey cant possibly get either crazier OR any more revolution-ey

Well, heres the straight dope (as the kids say):

Not only can it get both. It has officially gotten both. Up until now it has been a break-neck 4 exercise sessions per week of 10-18 minutes per sessions and a mind-blowing 1-6 vegetables per week (per week, not per day.)

No diggity (I assume that the kids still say that too)

Even though I dont see the world handling more craziness or revolution-ness, I am about to unleash (long drum roll)

The m0t!!
(note the crazy revolution style font. Small caps, zero instead of o. I wish SP had type writer fonts)

Last December, I reviewed my motivations for being on SparkPeople. They were the following:
- Freedom from sugar and Salt
- Improve flexibilty
- Able to buy a standard suit rather than separates
- Be able to wear a pair of swimming trunks to the beach rather than cargoes and a t-shirt
- Be able to be there more for my SparkFriends and less for myself on this site.

The fourth is already a bust for this year and all of the others are on the verge of dying at this point. Really there is only one thing stopping me and its the first. Freedom from sugar.

I believe that all of the other desires will be impossible, unless I achieve that one.

So my motivation (or m0t) is freedom from sugar addiction.

Peace out shorties!! (see? up-to-date language again)

- tD Out!!11

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 8/23/2012 8:07AM

    Sugar. Yes. My achilles heel as well. If I stay away from it, I don't NEED it. If I have even a little, I become obsessed with it. May as well be a drug for me.....need to stay away!!!!

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MEADSBAY 7/30/2012 12:49PM

    Who U callin shorty, BIG Guy???
Step outside!
emoticon

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STESSOUTCHICK 7/21/2012 12:07AM

    WEll yeah! yep yep yep!
my blogs are now on the message board.
My latest 1 is messed up 2 say the lest.
I love your blogs by the way.
Jen

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BYEBYEFAT. 7/19/2012 10:01PM

    ive missed all of this so much :)

love the blogs!



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MAMATERRI58 7/18/2012 9:44PM

    I flunked Mind Reading 101.

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Weekly Weigh-in (07.14.12). I Gained!!!! w00ttt!!!!!!!11

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Goal Stats: 195.0@15%

Last Week: 204.0@22%

This Week: 204.2@22%

+0.2!!!! Yayyyy!!!

I am really happy about this. For the past six weeks, I have been watching my weight climb up since starting the crazy revolution that's crazy and revolution-ey.

When I was down at 196-199, it was artificial. It was do huge workouts for a week, burnout, Eat really well for the day or so before the weigh-in, and then splurge on the weekend after.

These past 7 weeks, my revolution has involved 4 small but consistent workouts (and extra one or two if I feel like it, but only if I feel like it). The only nutrition goals have been eat one more vegetable per week than the previous week (as of today I'm up to 6 and already had one).

Going up by only 0.2 pounds is like hitting a plateau of sorts, but at the top. I think over the next few weeks, I will probably stay about the same (maybe gain and lose a pound here and there).

I kind of figured I'd go back up to 205.

As the vegetable intake continues to increase and the workouts hit the 25 minute mark, the weight will start to come off again. Hopefully slowly, while I continue to work on more exercise and vegetables. I would love to lose 0.2-0.4 pounds each week over the next 15-20 weeks. That would be awesome.

You know. The crazy revolution can't get any more crazy than it is...

...

(ominous voice) or can it? (end ominous voice)

Stay tuned for the craziest blog in the history of crazy blogs.

- TD Out!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILVERANGEL6 7/20/2012 1:59AM

    Still crazy good, TD...you rock,

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITGRL124 7/14/2012 12:38PM

    You and your crazy revolution are rockin'

emoticon

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So What Would a Smart Alec Say to These (Part V)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

OK, so it has been wayyyy too long since I've done one of these.

Tonight....The "just sayin'" edition.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
* Yes, a guy named Trent Dreamer. Look hard, quizzie, you might be able to see it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
* Earlier today when my doctor said that I was fat and I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, OK, youre UGLY too (rim-shot)

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
* Dunno, cant read it.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
* processed Batloaf. Omnomnomm-sies

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
* Yes, I have 49 kids. Each of them is taking a question besides this one. My doctor keeps using the term MPD when I mention them to him. Must be a sports car of some kind.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
* No, I would be secret lovers with me. That way the girl who would be dating me if I was me would be really confused. Her name would probably be Courtney. Just sayin

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
* (rolls eyes) Me? MOI? Sarcasm?. MAYbe sometimes. Its not like the title of this blog might elucidate this.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
* I eBayed them to buy chocolate once. Its what they call a rock bottom moment at those meetings.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
* Without a rope at this point, knowing that I have 41 questions left.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
* Three words: Donkey Kong Crunch
www.retroist.com/wp-content/uploads/
2009/01/donkey-kong-cereal.jpg


11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
* Yes, except for high-tops and workboots. Definitely untie penny loafers before taking them off though. Just sayin

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
* Hey, those 4KG kettlebells arent swinging themselves if you know what I mean

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
* Didnt join SparkPeople for being so discerning on the matter.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
* Their adams apple (especially those weird looking women in Chelsea)

15. RED OR PINK?
* Tito

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
* My Awesomeness offset by my humility. Its so hard being me :p

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
* Ke$ha

18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
* Tapping myself like a crazy freak. I keep missing. :(

18. ANY TATTOOS?
* Yes, my Dont forget to call one on the back of my hand. Free piece of 50 cent advice: If your mom offers to pay for a tattoo, there might be an agenda involved.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
* Why not just ask me What are you wearing while breathing deeply. It will be more fun to watch me scramble to get the restraining order on shorter notice.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
* My pride when I decided to fill this out.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
* The crescendo-ing voices in my head chanting BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG.!!

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
* Wow, speed dating has become just plain weird

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
* That smell of gunpowder when any of my ex-girlfriends runs out of ammunition from trying to shoot me and then starts using big girl words to describe me. Typical Friday night, basically. Just sayin

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
* That teenager who randomly called me and asked me if my refrigerator was running. I said, No, its not. He had nowhere to go from there.

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
* Either one as long as its in the booming metropolis of **Gosnold, MA**
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gosnold,_Massa
chusetts

(My travel agent speaks highly of it. Glad Im not wasting my time and money on Paris or London this year)

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
* www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIMCGEpRZFI&
feature=related


27. HAIR COLOR?
* Yes, clear would be pretty weird. Though, mildly opaquehmmmm

28. EYE COLOR?
* Orphan Annie white

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
* On the top of my head.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
* Didnt join SparkPeople for being so discerning on the matter.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
* Any early/mid 2000s slacker/stoner films with 20 somethings wearing ringers and saying dude at least once every 2 minutes or so.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
* You mean before they stopped making them?

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
* Wait, I can wear a shirt while writing a blog? My college roommates must have been pulling my leg.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
* Neptune

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
* purple nurples

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
* Didnt join SparkPeople for being so discerning on the matter.

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
* Whichever THIS would be considered
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaZg6v4YbeY

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
* Blogs are tough to write on Televisions. Just sayin

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
* Im writing a blog now, genius.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
* a computer mouse

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
* My exes voices when using the aforementioned big girl words from question 23.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
* Scene-23
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnxOn1Y6jkI

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
* Back of centerfield when I was in 3rd grade. My dad had to spend some extra time explaining the whole running the bases thing. (I caught on eventually. 2009 was a great year)

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
* yes, avoiding answering really stupid questions.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
* The first or second time?

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
* 23 Noneofyourd*rnbusiness Lane

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
* Enter the above address into Google Maps and do a street view.

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
* When you drive a 1997 ford Aspire in 2012, color doesnt matter. Its the color of being single. Just sayin

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
* Dunno. Ran out of steam at the end of the last one ;)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KA7MONTOYA 7/13/2012 12:20PM

    Ca-ca-crazy! emoticon

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JAMIELOGICAL 7/11/2012 10:20PM

    Thanks for the entertainment! I never knew that the first season of America's Got Talent was a 70's game show.

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eXeRcIsE (CR)

Sunday, July 08, 2012

** Note the crazy revolution-ey style of the blog title **

So I'm now up to 17 minutes per exercise session (4x per week (more if I feel like it, but only if I feel like it))

My body is now in the full-score "I want more" mode. Part of me wants to give in and start doing much longer workouts at higher intensity and then burn out after a week or so (as I have traditionally done in the past). The revolution simply won't allow for it, though.

I am going for higher weights and higher cardio intensity (unless I feel like doing a lighter exercise or want to give the body a rest day).

I'm up a few pounds, but that's normal when one starts a regular exercise regimen. Not worried. I will start posting a weekly weigh-in blog next Saturday (Lord willing and me remembering)

Todays workout was:
*6 minutes of cardio (elliptical)
*5 minute kettlebell pyramid (10-12-14-12-10KG one minute swings)
*3 minutes of bicep curl bar ladders
- 12 reps - 45 pounds
- 10 reps - 55 pounds
- 06 reps - 65 pounds (parlez vous "ouch!"? lol)
*3 minutes of shoulder press bar ladders
- 12 reps - 40 pounds
- 10 reps - 50 pounds
- 06 reps - 60 pounds

The kettlebells seemed a little lighter than I thought. I might go up to 12-14-16-14-12 l8r this week. Dunno. Was kind of hoping to wait until next week.

Tomorrow, I plan to do
* 05 minutes rowing machine
* 11 minutes elliptical
* Back row ladder (not sure if I will do the machines or a one handed kettlebell version)

iViva la revoluccion!

- TD Out!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KA7MONTOYA 7/10/2012 2:27PM

    Thanks for the encouraging insight you left on my blog yesterday! emoticon

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DEBBICZ 7/9/2012 2:29PM

    keep it up! You are doing great!!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 7/9/2012 12:58AM

    Wonderful job.
I need to get back into my yoga classes and stop letting work get in the way.

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FITGRL124 7/8/2012 9:12PM

    Great job!

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