Wednesday, January 18, 2012
It was about two and a half years ago. I was stuck at 225ish pounds. I had actually found the building where the nearby weight watchers meetings were held. I knew that I needed support from others in losing the last 30 pounds. I had tried a bunch of other weight loss programs and was ready to try as many more as I needed to get to 195.
At the same time, two things concerned me. Permanence and transparency. Mostly the later. Yes, I know that the meetings are supposed to be anonymous. But what if Iím in a meeting and someone who I work with was in there. What if a spouse of a co-worker is describing a discussion in the meeting and said co-worker figures out that itís me.
**My life is an open book to my family and close friends. Others get whatever pages they need to read.**
To really be able to share as I have been required and still requires freedom to share my frustrations anonymously. I need to feel safe to be who I really am. I want the freedom to be able to share that frustration and work it out within without risk of judgment from those who I work with or go to church with but am not really close to. Itís really none of their business.
As I read reviews of WW that night I saw a recurring theme. People who complete the program gaining the weight back. Come to think of it, I donít remember anyone saying, ďI completed the program, am no longer part of it and havenít gained the weight back."
I remembered a 5-10 minute workout video I had seen a year previous where the instructor (read: coach) had mentioned that her site had free diet plans and online support. While I had doubts that an online community of people who I would never really see face to face would be able to help much, it really was worth a try. If/when it failed, then WW could work and I could figure out how to make it permanent.
I took the plunge and joined SparkPeople the next day.
The rest as they say is history.
If I posted an actual profile pic of myself on my page, it would come with baggage. All of my previous blogs would be wiped. I would never get emotional or into any depth of whatís really going on in my life (blogs would be about what I did, what I ate, focus on the positives). They would be very ďpositiveĒ, but would lack real expression.
I would put on the same facade that I would in real life addressing a large group of acquaintances; the same faÁade that I chose SP over WW to get away from having to put on. The same faÁade that probably got me to where I was in the first place.
I choose privacy in the form of anonymity. Itís why I came to SP. Itís why Iím still here. Itís why I feel free to share as I do.
Iím glad that Iím here.
- TD Out!
Notes to those who tell me that Iím ďhidingĒ and ďashamed of my appearanceĒ because I donít post an actual picture of myself on my SparkPage:
* I understand wanting to see what people on SP look like. If a personís profile pic is clearly not really them, I will check their gallery. I get it. I respect their desire to remain anonymous, though, and would even if I posted my own pic.
* Truth is I post my actual profile pic every day in 3D plus when I leave my apartment, come into the office, go out with friends, go on dates, etc..
* I am actually very proud of my appearance for the most part. I wasnít ashamed of my appearance when I was 250 pounds. Unhappy and frustrated perhaps, but I still left my dorm and dressed myself well. When I wear all/mostly black (which I almost never do), itís for impact (not to ďslimĒ myself).
* When you tell me to ďquit hiding behindĒ and ďstop being ashamedĒ. It doesnít bother me as it used to. It did bother at first. I understand from what you usually say after that that youíve struggled with that sense of shame (those two statements are almost always followed by ďI used to hide behindÖĒ). I am really sorry that youíve ever had to feel that way about your physical appearance.
* When addressing others who donít have real pictures of themselves, especially new people, please keep your projections to yourself. You may be right that they are. But you may also be wrong. Get to know them first. Ask them politely if they are going to post pictures. When they say no, let them be. If you grow really close maybe ask them why. Donít just jump to the conclusion that they are ashamed of themselves or hiding behind something and blurt it out. I personally feel that thatís rude.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
see bottom of blog for details.
I had a stomach virus earlier this week, but it was mostly gone and I was back to normal eating by Wednesday. I donít believe that it impacted my weight loss that much. Now that Iím tracking and focusing on cardio, I believe that the weightloss will be tough and gradual, but they will happen. My eating is more stable in general.
* 2 light workout sessions with 10 minutes of cardio and light weights, because of the virus
* 1 20 minute interval session with heavy leg workout toward the end of the week.
Have started doing the coach Nicole 5 minute beginner abs on the stability ball (workout featured earlier this week)
Tracked every day of the week. Did not eat out a lot. Had a stomach virus for about half of the week, but my appetite was normalized by Wednesday. Ate a good number of fruits (3 per day) and a few servings of vegetables. I will shoot for the same this week.
Itís going to be about cardio. Exercise classes, interval training, kick boxing, etc. I did the best cardio and strength wise when I had to support my body weight and pushed myself hard in this area. Going to shoot for 3 sessions of 25 minutes and smaller sessions on heavy lifting days.
* Goal (Weight and Body Fat): 195.0@15%
* Jan 1,2012: 204.0@22%
* Last Week: 200.8@22%
* This Week: 199.2@22%
Weight: (-1.6) Pounds
Body Fat: No change
Back in the 190ís!
Iím hoping for a pound next week if I can get it. I think if I get that a plateau should reasonably be expected. At which point, I will go totally house with exercise
- TD Out!
Monday, January 09, 2012
One of my motivations for accomplishing my goal this year and maintaining it is to make this the last year where I spend as much time on SparkPeople as I do. Once I hit my goal and maintain it, then I will probably go on mostly to be there for my friends and maybe to track if I feel that my eating habits start to go awry. Again, that's the motivation.
As such, I've started looking to other social networking sites as sort of the where to go when the music has stopped playing or in the final decrescendo.
I went on FaceBook and found that most people I know aren't very active on it and keep their wall and photos under lock and key. Completely understandable given privacy and internet stalker/security/privacy issues. At the same time, the point of it was kind of eluding me. No blogging capability without a really long wall update.
I went on Twitter. I like the concept. 140 characters. quick to the point. Pithy with a little bit of Snarky. Makes sense. @ the same time (see what I did there? lol), I can't imagine my life being that interesting without the level of SparkTeam and blog activity that SparkPeople allows. It's like SparkPeople if all you could do was update your daily status, read others' daily status and send a SparkMail and leave a comment.
Google+ has way too many privacy issues for me.
So in my frustration, I was talking to a friend who was really into social networking in the late 2000's and has kind of tapered. He updates his wall every so often. I was venting about how (to put it politely) non-robust these other SN sites were.
As he seemed to not understand the point of my frustration, I described a basic SparkPage.
* 3 Images and a profile pic.
* images of 6 friends and six groups
* Page comments at the bottom
* A button to the Blogosphere with one's most recent entries
All on the main page
He was like "Wow, that's really cool! I'm going to eat a lot this Winter and gain a lot of weight so I can join and be on"
I reassured him that SP was a healthy lifestyle site, and that one didn't need to be overweight to reap the benefits, just seeking to live or maintain a healthy lifestyle. He seemed to get it (though I doubt he will join, given his activity on the other SN sites.)
Maybe I will continue to be more active on SparkPeople in 2013.
- TD Out.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Last Week/Beginning of Year:
Weight: (-3.2) Pounds
Body Fat: No change, officially
On my weekly weigh-ins, I will usually take the best 2 out of 3 scale readings, mostly for the weight because of the precision of the scale. The body fat percentage is usually the same for all weigh-ins. It rounds to the nearest percent.
Today the first weigh-in had 22% body fat. The second one showed 21%. The tiebreaker said 22%, so thatís the number Iím going with. If I keep putting in the exercise, I believe that I will very likely be down to 21% by end of month.
Exercise went OK this week. Did:
* a 45 minute brisk walk
* 2 very small kettlebell exercises (5 minutes)
* a huge upper/lower body and cardio
* 50 minutes of kickboxing
The kick boxing really made me again aware of my need for greater flexibility, mostly shoulder/neck and hip/hamstring. I will work on some of the moves and the appropriate stretching this week.
In the past couple of weeks, Iíve kind of become a born-again tracker (both exercise and nutrition). When I was a lot heavier, tracking was too much of a discouraging burden. I was hitting my daily calorie range by 11:30 in the morning. Over the past couple of years, Iíve made enough small changes so that itís far more feasible to track.
The best part of the week was when I tracked the calories for a buffet and realized that I had eaten over 1500 calories (really opened my eyes). Later in the week, I had an 8oz bacon cheeseburger with fries with bread and butter before. I thought surely it wouldnít be even near 1500 calories. I was right, sort of. Over 1200 (*) (**).
Until recently I would have just not tracked either meal (too much, too many different foods, too many unknowns, no nutrition labels). Now my eyes are open to how potentially dangerous eating out can be to the diet if I donít start making more calorie efficient choices. Iím glad to be tracking. The tracker is a lot easier to use than it was 2 years ago.
Thanks for reading,
- TD Out!
(*) How did I lose weight this week, exactly?
(**) I only ate ĺ of the cheesburger and half of the fries. Tracked accordingly.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Starting Weight and BodyFat
* 01.01.2012: 204.0@22%
* 12.31.2012: 195.0@15% (or less)
#1 Freedom from sugar addiction
#2 Ability to exercise to the fullest (flexibility)
#3 Be able to wear real suits rather than suit separates
#4 Wear swimming trunks at the beach rather than cargoes and t-shirts this Summer
#5 My SparkFriends (who I love very much)
To be determined. It will be the first order of business this year.
Have a great 2012
- TD Out!
Get An Email Alert Each Time TRENTDREAMER Posts