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10 lbs by 2010 and a Black Suit

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

10 lbs by 2010:

It was really weird. I met my first mini goal and am easily going to make my second goal (219.8 by the Saturday before Thanksgiving). So I was wondering what should by next mini goal be. I thought to myself, if there are only nine weeks left in the year, why not try for 10 pounds.

Then last night, while perusing the Spark Blogosphere, I noticed a posting from somebody who appeared to be wanting to to just that. Turns out there is a group dedicated to this cause. So I joined it.
http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/group
s_individual.asp?gid=37341

Seriously, the team forum is extremely well organized. I went on it and there was a "read me first" post which was helpful. The leader really seems to have her act together. I'm excited about it. I'm going to go for it. 10 by 2k10!!!!

Black Suit:
I bought a black suit back in the late 1990's when I was hitting the gym fairly regularly. I would probably have been about 205 lbs or so. The suit is to die for (not literally, of course). It looks really sharp. I wore it for about 5 years. Always got compliments.

As I gained weight, the suit became less and less comfortable. By 2003, it simply didn't fit. It broke my heart to have to hang it up, but I've kept it. I've tried it on periodically as I've lost weight. It's gone from "can't even come close to buttoning it (2004/2005) to "can button it technically" (2006) to "can button it but can't realistically wear it (2007)".

Last night I tried it on. While I still can't realistically wear it, I believe that I am now 10-15 pounds away from being able to do so.

Bottom Line: My non-weight goal/desire for the rest of the year is to lose enough weight and fat to be able to wear that suit on New Years eve.

Here's Hoping

- TD out

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRADTRAV 11/4/2009 10:32AM

    This is such an amazing goal! You can definitely do it! I hope you'll post a picture of you with the suit on!

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MEADSBAY 11/4/2009 8:46AM

    I want to see a picture of you wearing that black suit by Christmas!
At one point, about 20 yrs ago, I lost 30 pounds and rewarded myself with a GORGEOUS $220 black silk blazer that was half off, still a lot of money to me, esp. back then, and wore it a lot for 10 years, at least.
I think I gave it away a few years ago because it made me depressed to think I'd never fit into it again- damn!
I also noticed that our lose10Halloween-New Year2010 team is extremely well organized.
Have a great day!
emoticon

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JUANITADWALKER 11/3/2009 8:59PM

  YOU CAN DO IT

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JUANITADWALKER 11/3/2009 8:58PM

  YOU CAN DO IT

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Mistress Jillian

Sunday, November 01, 2009

OK, I'm fairly new to the whole weight loss culture and definitely out of touch with modern American television. Several of the Spark Teams I would see on people's spark pages referenced a woman named Jillian Michaels. I had heard the name and finally figured out that she was a fitness coach on the Biggest Loser (an American Television show for those who have lived under a rock, as I have, for the last 8 years).

So last night I decided to Hulu The Biggest Loser and actually watch an episode. I can definitely see why people get hooked on it. Very inspirational. While I'm really REALLY not big into the yelling-like-a-lunatic-Drill-Sargent thing (Nine months of attending a typical Southern Baptist style church does that to you), one can not look at her and not be motivated to hit the gym a little harder the next day.

That being said, the main thing that occoured to me was that I lack actual positive motivation. Most of my focus on weight loss has been avoiding negative things("I hate the way I look", "I don't want to develop health problems later in life"). It's always about getting afloat, never about swimming, or making sure that the boat doesn't sink rather than sailing.

The reasons that the contestants have for losing weight are so much bigger and better than mine. Many of them have spouses and children. One of them is a leader who want to inspire the teenagers who he coaches. I don't really have such reasons (Not that wanting to avoid diabetes and heart conditions is a bad thing, but still). At best, my motivation is about wanting to look better, and most of my friends and family really don't care how I look. Nor would I want them to.

I mean, I have really good friends. At the same time, I can't help feeling like if I were to die tomorrow (not that I plan to), their lives probably wouldn't be any more or less blessed. Heck, if any of them got into a stable relationship, I would be yesterday's news anyway (I speak from experience). I don't know. I'm rambling.

Anyway, on the plus side, I had a good workout this morning and I lost weight over Halloween (Yesterday: 220.2 | Today 218.4. Had a good eating day yesterday). Anyway to whoever reads this, have a wonderful Sunday and Monday.

Therapy session over,

TD out

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 11/4/2009 8:53AM

    We all are on our own journey to better health,
and,
I'm willing to wager,
MOST of us are here because we want to look better in our eans,
IF we can even fit into jeans anymore.
Vanity? Health issues? who cares?
Let's just do it.
You are smart to get it done and not waste your life "trying" to lose weight and feeling fat, like many of us have.
emoticon

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NOTBLUSHING 11/1/2009 10:09AM

    NOBODY has any bigger or better reasons than YOU.

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My Scale Must Be Broken

Saturday, October 31, 2009

OK Dokey, Dukey...This was supposed to be my most disasterous week weight/eating-wise ever. I mean, like, ever ever (not just plain ol' garden variety ever(*1)). I binged pretty much up until about 1:00 yesterday. I had two days less than 3500 calories this week. Definitely wasn't waiting for any Spark attaboys from Chris (a.k.a. Spark Guy).

I toyed with the idea of not weighing myself. I poked at it, tickled it, and lightly batted it like a cat does an insect. Heck I even looked at it with a goofy countenance while covering and uncovering my face saying "Where'd he go?" and "There he is" (*2)

But, alas, I figured "why not?". I haven't beaten myself up psychologically nearly enough this week (*3). So fast forward twenty seconds (VCR fast forwarding noise) and I'm on the scale and it says "220.2". Yes 220.2. I was expecting a lot higher. While I am obviously not happy to be back in the 220's, a am pleased as punch(*4) that I am only slightly over. We'll fix the whole 220's thing for next week's weigh in.

Until the next blog,

TD out

============================
(*1) It's a weird language we speak. I mean, like, weird weird.

(*2) If the idea of not weighing myself was a two year old, s/he would have giggled with delight and clapped his/her hands. Two year-olds rock, you can do the whole "Where'd he go/There he is" thing for hours/days on end and they never get tired of it. And by never, I mean never never.

(*3) And by nearly, I mean... yeah, this joke jumped the shark last paragraph. I'll stop now.

(*4) I just take it for granted that punch is always pleased. My apologies to any punch that doesn't feel content 24/7.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 11/4/2009 8:49AM

    emoticon
footnotes?!?!?!?
You have been in school a wee bit too long, my friend!
emoticon

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JUANITADWALKER 11/3/2009 9:01PM

  KEEP TRYING

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GETTIN2OLD4THIS 10/31/2009 3:25PM

    That happens to me sometimes. I eat like cow, and get a free pass on the scale. Glad it didn't set you back too much.

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B28680 10/31/2009 5:37AM

    Don't get discouraged emoticon

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My Stummy Hurts...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Like O...M...G (Note the capital letters and ellipses for emphasis). If there was an international "My stomach feels really gross" contest being held right now, I would probably come in second (Not too far behind that frat guy who drank 3 cups of battery acid to impress nobody in particular (*1)). I feel like I just ate potato salad where the chef was torn as to whether s/he should use 2 year old warm mayonnaise, 6 ounces of crushed ibuprofen, or enough vinegar to K.O a Clydesdale (*2).

Yuck! I just finished a four day binge. We're talking thousands of calories. Last night I rang in at 4300 calories by the end of dinner. My stomach hurts even now, a whole day removed(and I actually ate well today (*3)).

Anyway, it's time to waddle on forward and get back on the Spark Diet train again. All aboard!!!!! (Choo CHOO!!!)

- TD out (of it).

(*1) I should call him to congratulate him for his victory. No sense in being a sore loser

(*2) S/he opted for "all of the above"

(*3) Probably why I only placed second in the contest.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOXYM 10/30/2009 6:54PM

    LMFAO!!! That was a great blog... I am sorry that you did not feel well though.... but good to know you didn't win the contest!!!

Try to have a better weekend~~

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GETTIN2OLD4THIS 10/29/2009 9:48PM

    Man, I have been there.

Glad to have you back.

:::love the footnotes:::

emoticon

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BEACHBUMSAN 10/29/2009 9:27PM

  WOW! I hope you feel better soon. Try to hang in there.

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No Surrender!!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

OK, so as usual I had a really good weigh-in, have eaten like total crap since, and now feel really horrible. Fat, disgusting and sloppy. I consumed about 4000 calories today and I am sure that it was the best of the past three days. I'm not even going to bother weighing myself, I'm sure that I'm back over 220. I'm really all out of ideas at this point.

I absolutely hate who I am. No control over food. I start out well each day (good breakfast and mid morning snacks). Then lunch comes and the calories and the junk food start. At this point in time. I will no longer accept failure. My weight makes me a failure. It is the only thing that stands between me and having a life worth living. So it's gotta go.

So screw it. If I have to starve myself to get to a healthy weight, bloody fine, I'll do it. It is my number one priority.
================
Note to God:
Sorry, I know that you would probably call this idolatry but I've never really been able to meet your expectations anyway. I've come to you before on this and you've rarely, if ever, provided in this area. We can touch base when I've lost the weight. I need freedom from this and I can't afford You if You're going to do Your usual job (tons of guilt with no solutions). I take responsibility for my weight. I will take responsibility for losing it . . . NO MATTER HOW.
================

When I was younger I lost a lot of weight by riding out hunger. It really felt good (a lot better than this fat, gross, fatigued feeling, anyway). Hunger became like a reward, like victory. I want that again. Those days we're much better. I will win this war. NO SURRENDER!!!!!

- TD

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZCUPCAKE 10/29/2009 10:51AM

    Hi TD! No matter how you feel today, remember that there IS a tomorrow, and you are not ALONE in your feelings and your longing to lose the weight that seems to be magnetically attached. I am with you on this one. HOWEVER, I have to tell myself to "put my big girl panties on and deal with it." This statement always makes me smile inwardly, since I would LOOOOVE to be five years old again and have no responsibilities that are anything bigger than, 'What kind of SHOES should I dazzle the world with today?' Alas, no such luck -- a 46 year old does not appear very ZESTY upon acting like a five year old! :) Hang in there - you have good days, you have bad days -- you are so much more to the world than your NUMBER ON THE SCALE. No matter what size you are, the world is a better place because you are in it! Take heart! Before that next lil ole bell goes off in your head that says, 'I want CHEEZ-ITS! NOW!!!! Think of the BIG GIRL within who can take the hand of the five year old and tell her that it is okay to need comfort; but perhaps comfort doesn't have to come in the form of treats/junk food. Just TRY this! I wish you nothing but peace and hope you realize how special you are. As it has been said by a former U.S. President, 'I feel your pain!' (With apologies to Bill Clinton for using his line. But it sure does fit our situation.) emoticon

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PHOXYM 10/28/2009 6:09PM

    TD YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

You have blogged yourself before that you are going to do this the right way and it works.... So you have one bad day a bad week, DO NOT beat yourself up over it... It is NOT worth it and you know that you CAN be the person you want to be.... What happened to that person that left a note on my blog about not weighing in and just make the right choices and having no fear of the scale...

THE SCALE DOES NOT AND SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU....

You need to get to a Healthy Weight the HEALTHY way and starvation is not the answer... so do what has been working, DO NOT punish yourself for a few mistakes and Continue what you know is right!!!!

AND even if you give up on yourself, there will be someone here to push you and I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON YOU!!!!!!!

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GETTIN2OLD4THIS 10/26/2009 8:22PM

    I've been where you are. I'd do really good, lose some weight, and then totally lose it and eat anything I can get my hands on. The feeling afterward is hideous.

The starvation thing isn't going to help, though.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/
news/uknews/6155774/Woman-dies-
after-following-diet-to-avoid-b
eing-fat-bride.html

It just isn't worth it.

I'm so sorry that I don't have any advice on how to prevent the overeating thing, I'm still battling it myself. In fact, I'm battling it as I type this. But, you have shown that you CAN lose weight the good way.



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TWEETYKC00 10/26/2009 7:47PM

    i can understand that feeling. no matter how hard i try, i still have a nightmare to lose any real weight. i count and exercise and still can't so much as go down 1 pant size!! what gives?

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