Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The following is excerpted from a blog post of mine from earlier this year (postscripts excluded). Updates at the end.
Pity Party Blog I: Not Well Suited For...
(Originally posted Thursday, June 02, 2011)
**Warning: This blog contains the expression of frustration on the part of the blogger. If you are someone who responds to any expression of frustration or "negative" emotion by...
- using the term "pity party" (or some other such emotion-is-bad phrase)
- trying to get the person to realize that they shouldn't be frustrated
- using over-used deflections like "don't beat yourself up", "tomorrow is another day", or "just move on"...
then please either don't read or read and don't comment**
My vacation overall was good. It really was. I got to see my friends and their family in their new home. Their oldest child is growing up so fast. I overate, but had healthy snacks on hand. Given how little I ate out except for the traveling days, I still may actually lose weight this week.
There were two moments involving my weight and health that stuck out (one good and one bad).
The first night the family was hanging around outside playing. They live on a cul de sac with three houses facing a nice rounded end of the street (safe play area for ball and bike). the youngest is "getting into soccer". Basically, he kicks the ball and the adult playing with him kicks it back toward him. Both parties have to chase the ball as needed.
After about 10-15 minutes of this I realized that I was:
* enjoying the light exercise of chasing the ball
* not winded
* not feeling any knee pain.
I would have been 1 for 3 at best when I first started SparkPeople. For all I have read about some of my SparkFriends' goals of wanting to play with/keep up with their children or nieces/nephews, I finally get it. It felt gr8, a nsv!
and then (cue other shoe to drop)......
First thing the next morning (shoe drops), mommy proposes going to the swimming pool (crowd goes nuts)!
"You did bring swimming trunks, right?"
"Oh, well you can probably borrow..."
It was bad enough having to sit the two of them down 10 minutes later and explain/admit to them, "No, I really don't want to be seen in public wearing a pair of swimming trunks". But the looks on the childrens' faces followed by the long drawn out" whyyyyyyyyyy" when their parents had to break the news that "Mr. Trent" wouldn't, in fact, be coming with them...............yeah, not exactly a high point in my life.
D*rn it, the whole point of losing the now over 50 pounds was so that I WOULDN'T hate the way I looked. I'm almost 195. I'm supposed to be enjoying FREEDOM to NOT still feeling like the stinking fat kid (yes, even @ the swimming pool)
And isn't this supposed to be something that guys aren't supposed to worry about!? Ugh.
What good is being the Hottest Loser.....if he's not even hot enough to wear a swimsuit at the swimming pool!!??
Don't get me wrong, I really like the way I look in jeans and t-shirt. I am very healthy and am enjoying the benefits of better health. This just kind of pushed the limit and broke me, I guess.
(end of rant)
As I drove to the gym, after they left for the pool, I made a vow to myself. Next year is rematch. If I don't go back and visit them and go to the pool with them, I will plan to go to a beach. And yes, by Jove (whoever Jove is), I will have the body to wear a swimsuit.....
...and I will.
- TD Out.
* Motivation #4: To feel comfortable enough to wear a pair of swimming trunks at the beach or pool when hanging around with friends. No more “whyyyyyyyyyy”s
* Goal: 15% Body Fat and a toned midsection
* Game plan: Cardio, strength training, core training, and focus on abs.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
(Knock on door, Trent opens and motivation walks in wearing a contemporary high stanced black suit, a wrinkled modern-fit shirt unbuttoned at the top and loosened tie)
MOTIVATION: Hi Trent!
TRENT: I hate you.
TRENT: I know exactly what you’re doing.
MOTIVATION: …And that is…..
TRENT: The suit. You know my situation
MOTIVATION: Yes, I do. Your SparkFriends don’t, though. Inform them.
TRENT: OK. (walks over to computer. Starts blogging)
When I was in really good shape my first year out of college, I bought two suits. I was a few pounds overweight, but proportioned like a typical American. A size 44 right off of the rack fit perfectly, both the jacket and the pants. Suits usually have a 6” drop (the difference between the jacket size and pants size). A size 44 suit comes with size 38 pants.
When I gained the 50+ pounds, I was forced to buy suit separates and sizes far larger than I cared for (size 46 Jacket and 42” pants). I dreamed that someday when I lost the weight, I would once again be able to buy a regular suit. Not separates.
A few weeks ago, I needed a suit for a special occasion. While my jacket size is now a snug 42”. The pants had to be a 38” waist. 36” pants are still way too tight and a 44 jacket looks big on me. It annoys me.
- TD Out!
MOTIVATION: OK, so whats the goal, motivation and game plan.
TRENT: The goal remains the same. 15% bodyfat. The motivation, one of them anyway, is to buy an actual suit rather than separates. The game plan is to burn fat and build muscle.
New Years Eve 2013 is now only 372 days away. Next year is going to be my year health-wise. Lord willing, I will go to a New Years eve party either rocking a modern fit size 42 suit or be able to if the dress-code deems said attire inappropriate. I’ll wear the suit on the last non-jeans day at the office (or another occasion) if the later is the case.
Motivation #3: To be able to wear regular suits instead of separates.
Barney Stinson, watch out. There’s going to be a new player in the suit game!
MOTIVATION: Cool beans, sounds like you’re on this one.
TRENT: I’ve got a couple other related goals and motivations which I will blog about this week.
MOTIVATION: Excellent! Happy New Year, both this upcoming one and the next.
TRENT: Thanks, You too.
(Motivation leaves apartment)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Motivation #1: Freedom from Sugar and Salt
"TRENT: (Snaps fingers) I’ve got it. My motivation is freedom. I want to be free to make healthy decisions. I want to be able to reap the benefits of the exercises that I do. I want to have the healthy food choices shape a healthier life rather than offset other unhealthy ones. I want to sail my ship, not constantly be bailing water out! That’s my motivation. Freedom! "
Motivation #2: To be Able to Exercise to the Fullest
Even though I've lost 20-30 pounds over the last 2 years, I've still felt like the fat kid when exercising. I met with a potential personal trainer this morning, and it finally hit me why.
Even though I was able to do all of the exercises with proper form, the stretches were killer and I felt more resistance than the weights should have been giving.
I lack flexibility especially in the neck/shoulders and lower body (a product of sitting in front of the computer all day). I could probably do several more bootcamp, kickboxing and Pilates moves (and moves to the highest level) if my neck and legs weren't so tight.
As I looked back over the survey that my motivation sent me last week, I realize that I ranked my satisfaction with my flexibility really low. It's time to do something about that
So, My goal is to improve flexibility through basic stretching and Pilates (not much into Yoga). I work out the details next year and learn how to stretch properly
I want to feel healthier and less tense throughout the day. I want to recover more quickly from workouts. I want to feel healthier. I've heard that good flexibility will increase strength. I want to be able to do 90-100% of the moves in any given fitness class without having to modify them to accommodate unstretched, tight muscles.
I fully admit that I don't know what that increased flexibility will feel or be like....
But I will find out.
- TD Out!
Monday, December 19, 2011
(knock on door. Trent opens door. Motivation walks in with Santa suit on).
MOTIVATION: Ho Ho HO!!!
TRENT: To you as well.
MOTIVATION: So...read your answers to the email.
TRENT: Cool, what did you think?
MOTIVATION: Generally average. Some areas better than others. Again, your satisfaction levels reflect that you are a typical slightly overweight American who could use some improvement, but are generally OK.
TRENT: Again, that’s where I struggle.
MOTIVATION: You ranked your satisfaction with your vegetable consumption as “4”. Really, Trent? Really?
TRENT: My lack of vegetables doesn’t bother me. I know it should, but it doesn’t.
MOTIVATION: C’est la vie. So this was to isolate areas that you were dissatisfied. For your eating you had some really goods and really bads, but your overall satisfaction didn’t average out. Talk to me.
TRENT: I still don’t have my eating under control. The dairy intake is good, the fruits are consistent. It’s just that the sugar intake and the eating out is keeping me back.
TRENT: Even if I ate 5 vegetables a day this would still bother me.
TRENT: because I feel like I have this weight/burden on my shoulders. Every good thing that I’m doing is being offset by my eating habits.
MOTIVATION: So what’s the remedy?
TRENT: I want to reduce my sugar consumption. I want to eat out less. That’s my goal.
MOTIVATION: Those aren’t goals. Those are restrictions. State that in goal form.
TRENT: (Thinking): My goal is to consume more healthy carbs and to prepare more healthy meals at home.
MOTIVATION: Awesomesauce on Pasta! Great goal. So here’s the real question: “Regarding that, who am I? What’s your motivation for that?”
TRENT: To be healthy
MOTIVATION: You already are healthy. Remember?
TRENT: Right, right….
(Trent thinks for a few seconds)
MOTIVATION: What do you get or have if you are able to achieve that. Why do you want that?
TRENT: (Snaps fingers) I’ve got it. My motivation is freedom. I want to be free to make healthy decisions. I want to be able to reap the benefits of the exercises that I do. I want to have the healthy food choices shape a healthier life rather than offset other unhealthy ones. I want to sail my ship, not constantly be bailing water out! That’s my motivation. Freedom!
MOTIVATION: Gives thumbs up (Santa suit has gloves). That’s probably not going to be your only motivation and goal, but it’s a great start.
MOTIVATION: Nah, that one’s all you! I’ll send another email for you to ponder.
(A sleigh being pulled by 8-10 flying reindeer pulls up to Trent’s window. Trent’s motivation opens the window, hops into sleigh, and waves at Trent)
MOTIVATION: Merry Christmas, Trent!!!
TRENT: (Waves back) You too!!!
(Sleigh flies off into the night as a silhouette against the moon)
TRENT: (watches as sleigh flies off, closes window, smiles and shakes his head) What a strange little man.
(To be continued)
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