Thursday, December 29, 2011
(Trent sits on the top of a cliff overlooking a vast grey empty wasteland. A combination of smoke and mist slightly obfuscate the view but not the aura. The sky is mid-February gray.
Trent wears a black leather bomber with a black graphic tee underneath, dark grey dungarees with a wallet chain. Biker boots. He’s sporting futuristic shades and a faux-hawk. His face is pale with really dark face paint under his eyes. He gazes over the dark emptiness as the wind whistles ever so quietly but presently.
Trent’s motivation comes up from behind and sits beside him pondering the wasteland in all of its desolation. He wears a long black coat with a hood, black Nehru shirt, black pants and a pair of black leather euro shoes. A necklace with a huge gothic cross hangs off of his neck. His face is painted white with dark colored cracks painted from his eyes down his cheeks. Motivation lights a cigarette and takes a puff.
They both ponder the scene for a moment)
MOTIVATION: Ummmmmmmm…..Why are we here?
TRENT: (ethereal tone of voice): You ask a deep existential question.
MOTIVATION: No, no, you and me now. Why are we sitting here?
TRENT: Oh, that. You mean the wasteland thing.
MOTIVATION: (nods) Yeah.
TRENT: This represents my 5th motivation.
MOTIVATION: Really? Wow, that’s sad. I think you may have watched too much Ghost Whisperer before it jumped the shark.
TRENT: No, my motivation is to move on.
MOTIVATION: Come again?
TRENT: In 2013, I want to have my life back. At the end of next year, I want to be finished. I want freedom. I want SparkPeople to be part of my life, but just that.
MOTIVATION: So your motivation is to be pretty much done with SparkPeople by the end of next year.
TRENT: No, my goal is to be extremely active on SP next year and then once I’ve accomplished my goals, probably at the end of the year, go on only as much as it helps me maintain and allows me to be there for my Spark Friends (Who I love very much and want to be there for).
Motivation #5 is to enjoy life more off-line. I’m looking for balance.
The goal is 195 pounds @ 15% body fat.
The game plan is the same as for every other goal.
At the end of next year, I want to have more of an active social life, I want to be more active possibly in a sport or running/triathlon club. Spend more time with friends. Attend more social functions and get togethers.
I need SparkPeople more than ever now. If I succeed in my goals this upcoming year, I’m not sure how relevant it will be for me to spend the time that I have been in 2013. I don’t know.
MOTIVATION: We’ll see.
TRENT: Yeah. If I still have work to do, obviously I’ll continue.
MOTIVATION: Makes sense. (Pauses) Ummmm….Trent?
MOTIVATION: Why did we need to come out here to have this conversation?
TRENT: I dunno, seemed like a cool idea. I don’t get to wear this jacket nearly as much as I’d like.
MOTIVATION: Gotcha. Let’s head back and get your final weigh-in and blog for 2011 done.
(Trent and Trent’s Motivation get up and head back down the cliff toward Trent’s apartment).
(To be continued)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The following is excerpted from a blog post of mine from earlier this year (postscripts excluded). Updates at the end.
Pity Party Blog I: Not Well Suited For...
(Originally posted Thursday, June 02, 2011)
**Warning: This blog contains the expression of frustration on the part of the blogger. If you are someone who responds to any expression of frustration or "negative" emotion by...
- using the term "pity party" (or some other such emotion-is-bad phrase)
- trying to get the person to realize that they shouldn't be frustrated
- using over-used deflections like "don't beat yourself up", "tomorrow is another day", or "just move on"...
then please either don't read or read and don't comment**
My vacation overall was good. It really was. I got to see my friends and their family in their new home. Their oldest child is growing up so fast. I overate, but had healthy snacks on hand. Given how little I ate out except for the traveling days, I still may actually lose weight this week.
There were two moments involving my weight and health that stuck out (one good and one bad).
The first night the family was hanging around outside playing. They live on a cul de sac with three houses facing a nice rounded end of the street (safe play area for ball and bike). the youngest is "getting into soccer". Basically, he kicks the ball and the adult playing with him kicks it back toward him. Both parties have to chase the ball as needed.
After about 10-15 minutes of this I realized that I was:
* enjoying the light exercise of chasing the ball
* not winded
* not feeling any knee pain.
I would have been 1 for 3 at best when I first started SparkPeople. For all I have read about some of my SparkFriends' goals of wanting to play with/keep up with their children or nieces/nephews, I finally get it. It felt gr8, a nsv!
and then (cue other shoe to drop)......
First thing the next morning (shoe drops), mommy proposes going to the swimming pool (crowd goes nuts)!
"You did bring swimming trunks, right?"
"Oh, well you can probably borrow..."
It was bad enough having to sit the two of them down 10 minutes later and explain/admit to them, "No, I really don't want to be seen in public wearing a pair of swimming trunks". But the looks on the childrens' faces followed by the long drawn out" whyyyyyyyyyy" when their parents had to break the news that "Mr. Trent" wouldn't, in fact, be coming with them...............yeah, not exactly a high point in my life.
D*rn it, the whole point of losing the now over 50 pounds was so that I WOULDN'T hate the way I looked. I'm almost 195. I'm supposed to be enjoying FREEDOM to NOT still feeling like the stinking fat kid (yes, even @ the swimming pool)
And isn't this supposed to be something that guys aren't supposed to worry about!? Ugh.
What good is being the Hottest Loser.....if he's not even hot enough to wear a swimsuit at the swimming pool!!??
Don't get me wrong, I really like the way I look in jeans and t-shirt. I am very healthy and am enjoying the benefits of better health. This just kind of pushed the limit and broke me, I guess.
(end of rant)
As I drove to the gym, after they left for the pool, I made a vow to myself. Next year is rematch. If I don't go back and visit them and go to the pool with them, I will plan to go to a beach. And yes, by Jove (whoever Jove is), I will have the body to wear a swimsuit.....
...and I will.
- TD Out.
* Motivation #4: To feel comfortable enough to wear a pair of swimming trunks at the beach or pool when hanging around with friends. No more “whyyyyyyyyyy”s
* Goal: 15% Body Fat and a toned midsection
* Game plan: Cardio, strength training, core training, and focus on abs.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
(Knock on door, Trent opens and motivation walks in wearing a contemporary high stanced black suit, a wrinkled modern-fit shirt unbuttoned at the top and loosened tie)
MOTIVATION: Hi Trent!
TRENT: I hate you.
TRENT: I know exactly what you’re doing.
MOTIVATION: …And that is…..
TRENT: The suit. You know my situation
MOTIVATION: Yes, I do. Your SparkFriends don’t, though. Inform them.
TRENT: OK. (walks over to computer. Starts blogging)
When I was in really good shape my first year out of college, I bought two suits. I was a few pounds overweight, but proportioned like a typical American. A size 44 right off of the rack fit perfectly, both the jacket and the pants. Suits usually have a 6” drop (the difference between the jacket size and pants size). A size 44 suit comes with size 38 pants.
When I gained the 50+ pounds, I was forced to buy suit separates and sizes far larger than I cared for (size 46 Jacket and 42” pants). I dreamed that someday when I lost the weight, I would once again be able to buy a regular suit. Not separates.
A few weeks ago, I needed a suit for a special occasion. While my jacket size is now a snug 42”. The pants had to be a 38” waist. 36” pants are still way too tight and a 44 jacket looks big on me. It annoys me.
- TD Out!
MOTIVATION: OK, so whats the goal, motivation and game plan.
TRENT: The goal remains the same. 15% bodyfat. The motivation, one of them anyway, is to buy an actual suit rather than separates. The game plan is to burn fat and build muscle.
New Years Eve 2013 is now only 372 days away. Next year is going to be my year health-wise. Lord willing, I will go to a New Years eve party either rocking a modern fit size 42 suit or be able to if the dress-code deems said attire inappropriate. I’ll wear the suit on the last non-jeans day at the office (or another occasion) if the later is the case.
Motivation #3: To be able to wear regular suits instead of separates.
Barney Stinson, watch out. There’s going to be a new player in the suit game!
MOTIVATION: Cool beans, sounds like you’re on this one.
TRENT: I’ve got a couple other related goals and motivations which I will blog about this week.
MOTIVATION: Excellent! Happy New Year, both this upcoming one and the next.
TRENT: Thanks, You too.
(Motivation leaves apartment)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Motivation #1: Freedom from Sugar and Salt
"TRENT: (Snaps fingers) I’ve got it. My motivation is freedom. I want to be free to make healthy decisions. I want to be able to reap the benefits of the exercises that I do. I want to have the healthy food choices shape a healthier life rather than offset other unhealthy ones. I want to sail my ship, not constantly be bailing water out! That’s my motivation. Freedom! "
Motivation #2: To be Able to Exercise to the Fullest
Even though I've lost 20-30 pounds over the last 2 years, I've still felt like the fat kid when exercising. I met with a potential personal trainer this morning, and it finally hit me why.
Even though I was able to do all of the exercises with proper form, the stretches were killer and I felt more resistance than the weights should have been giving.
I lack flexibility especially in the neck/shoulders and lower body (a product of sitting in front of the computer all day). I could probably do several more bootcamp, kickboxing and Pilates moves (and moves to the highest level) if my neck and legs weren't so tight.
As I looked back over the survey that my motivation sent me last week, I realize that I ranked my satisfaction with my flexibility really low. It's time to do something about that
So, My goal is to improve flexibility through basic stretching and Pilates (not much into Yoga). I work out the details next year and learn how to stretch properly
I want to feel healthier and less tense throughout the day. I want to recover more quickly from workouts. I want to feel healthier. I've heard that good flexibility will increase strength. I want to be able to do 90-100% of the moves in any given fitness class without having to modify them to accommodate unstretched, tight muscles.
I fully admit that I don't know what that increased flexibility will feel or be like....
But I will find out.
- TD Out!
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