Sunday, October 02, 2011
Yesterday, I joined the Fall 7% revolution that one of my dear sparkfriends (who i love very much) started. im doing weeks 1 and 2 this week (get bmr then try to 500 fewer calories AND do 2 cardio and 2 strength training sessions). The exercise should be easy enough to get this week.
ive calculated my 1 pound per week number. yesterday I went over by about 300 (not sure about some of the calories in some of the food i ate in the evening). I will get better about that. that being said...
I got together with a friend yesterday and we went to the mall. there's a restaurant that we've traditionally eaten at when we go to the mall. when it comes to meal options it is ....how you say......generally the stuff that pre-sparkpeople Trent appreciated far more than he does now.
lots of fried breaded food, cheap carbs/starches (Fiber? Whole Grains? pfft who needs those?). and in case you are worried that you will wake up the morning with extremely low cholesterol, they douse/drown gosh darn near everything in some kind of gravy. really thick gravy. if you are worried that your front fender might fall off the car, i think it can be used as glue once it starts to cool down.
so yeah, biscuits, dumplings, gravy, potatoes and breaded fried foods. Good ol down home cooking. grampy would have been proud...before his first double bypass, anyway.
knowing that this was probably where we'd end up eating, i did some things that i have never ever done in my lifetime.
1) planned out meal possibilities ahead of time.
* went online to check out the caloric damage for the food that i really wanted.
* found out what sides were better options
* figured out how to mitigate the inherent desire to have desert.
* budgeted in the calories for the options, given the caloric intake of the foods eaten during the rest of the day
2) actually ordered and ate a vegetable as a side at a restaurant.
* im trying to get 4 veggies per week (per WEEK not per day). up to 5 starting tomorrow.
* i ordered the 50-80 calorie green beans for a side rather than the steak fries or mac and cheese
3) mitigated desert
* one of the side options was a small apple cobbler type dish. it was 150 calories. i got that so i wouldn't desire the gigantic butter, chocolate and sugar laden desert options. it was still unhealthy, but not nearly as bad as what i would have ordered previously.
4) for the main course, i went with a leaner option. The chicken and dumplings, fried steak or chicken fried chicken would have each run me about 700 calories, but the 6-8 oz plain sirloin was 400-450. It was awful (parlez vous shoe leather) and i knew it would be, but it had iron and protein. Eaten with the greenbeans, i could swallow it.
5) I isolated what i really wanted. There is a potato caserole side that they had that i really like. so i got that (150 calories). everything else had a nutritional motive behind it (even if a mitigating one). I got it and enjoyed it.
the meal came out to 1225 calories, rolls and butter included.
i approximated what my calories would have been if id gotten my usual meal there and with rolls and everything, it would have easily cleared 2000.
I could definitely have picked better foods......
but i defintiely could have done worse.
it was a huge first step (planning options and ordering a plain vegetable as a side when eating out).
- TD Out!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
**Warning: This blog contains expressions of frustration by the blogger. If you are someone who can't handle "negative" feelings/emotions (or feel the need to respond to said feelings/emotions with "Don't beat yourself up", "just move on" or "tomorrow is another day" or use the term "pity party"), please either don't read this or read it and don't respond to it. I won't be offended**
I started on SparkPeople a little over 2 years ago. i was 225 pounds. my goal was 195 pounds.
Last year i hit 199 and assumed that the next four pounds would probably come off within a matter of weeks. I was about 75% correct. I bottomed out at 195.8 and my weight came back on up to about 205. I have since hit this weight 3 times and then drifted back up into the late 190's and early 200's.
It raises some tough questions:
* Will i ever hit 195?
* Why can't i break through 195.8?
* is this really worth it?
* What would late 2000's and early 2010's songs sound like if they were put to POLKA!?
* Why does this frustrate me?
* I'm 50 pounds less than i was just a few short years ago.
* I look great.
* I feel great.
* I'm generally healthy.
* I'm more confident with almost all aspects of my life than even a year ago.
* I'm only 10 or so pounds overweight.
Basically, If two years ago I was where I am now, I would never have joined SparkPeople. Wouldn't have needed to.
WHAT I NEED TO FACE:
* Nutrition-wise: I don't have control over my eating.
There have been one or two weeks where I didn't eat out and kept my sugar intake OK (not great, but typical American). It's not that I'm afraid that I'll never hit my goal.
it's that either I'll slip back up to 240/250 or spend the rest of my life fighting it. I could handle a 210 pound weigh-in if I knew I could control my eating enough to sand it down over 10-15 weeks and not constantly worrying about gradually climbing higher.
* Motivation wise: as a result, even though I'm about 25 pounds closer to my goal, I'm no less stuck at the weight that I'm at than I was stuck at my weight 25, 35 and 45 pounds ago. It's not about where I am, it's where I'm not going. I'm no more in control of my eating now than I was then.
I'm much closer to my goal numerically, yet no less further from freedom......
....and it kills me.
- TD Out.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
* Add 1 vegetable per week every month over the next 2-3 years.
* Current: 4 veggies per week total (per WEEK not per day).
Goal: 21-35 per week (3-5 per day)
* 7x per week.
* Started @ 10 minutes
* Add 1 minute to each session per week
* currently @ 18 minutes per session
* 1 double session per week and 1 day of rest (if I feel that i need it)
Goal: 6 times per week 45 minutes per session
* I roll a 6 sided die for every time i eat a vegetable up to my weekly goal or do an exercise session (up to goal)
* put that many dollars in a tin for a new outfit for when i hit my goal.
Reward: new outfit when I hit 195 (shoes, jeans, t-shirt, etc)
* not changing.
* in october we're up to 5 veggies per week. vegetables don't come naturally to me.
* Once I hit 20 minutes per session (currently @ 18), I will drop the double session and keep the day off.
* on a more qualitative level, i will rotate intense workouts with lighter ones. The day before my rest day will be the "one i make count".
* When it was 10 minutes, the point was to always get as much as I could out of every second, my body is starting to not look forward to exercising.
* The double session was cool/doable when it was 2x10. at 2x18, its a bit much. im working my way up to 36 minutes per day and will get there eventually.
* Next month i will move to a 10 sided die for the days where i both eat a vegetable and workout.
* 2 six sided rolls were cool when it was twice a week. Now im having trouble remembering how many times im supposed to roll and sometimes forget if i have or not.
* one 10 sided roll at the end of the day when ive met my goal is less complicated and easier to remember.
* basically @ the end of each day i roll a die and put the money in the tin.
So that's what's goin on.
thanks 4 reading,
- td out!
Monday, September 05, 2011
These past couple of weeks I ate poorly. Lots of commitments that involved eating out. Yesterday I ate out for both lunch and dinner. Both large meals, lots of salt, and large desert for dinner. I knew that the scale would probably not say 195, but rather over 200. I was right.
One of the things that frustrates me more than pretty much everything are platitudes. Sayings that are overused to the point that they don’t mean anything:
* “just move on”
* “ok, so you had a bad day, we all do”
* “don’t beat yourself up” (especially funny/annoying when im not)
They all attempt to minimize the frustration, provide false hope and in reality demoralize the person who is struggling
(they do me, at least. Tho ive never seen any one ever respond to one of these with, “thank you. You’re right I can kick 10-50 years of awful eating habits by just ‘moving on’. Ill stop beating myself up now. Thank goodness i just had a bad day!”).
The main one that has frustrated/hurt more than the rest of them was, “tomorrow is another day”
It annoyed me because tomorrow never really was any different. I couldn’t stop eating. I’d try setting a goal and would last 3 days and then id fall back into the same old routine. Always getting reassurances that tomorrow would be another day….
Only to have it be the same day as the previous.
After these past two weeks of just not having much control over life combined with a lot of stress and drama, I woke up this morning and prepared myself a really healthy breakfast (2 kiwis, 1c plain non-fat yogurt, 2T walnuts).
Not because I wanted to do penance for the bad eating
Not because I wanted to “get back on track” or “back on the wagon”.
Not because I want to weigh 195 next week so I can throw myself a blog celebration party.
It was because my body was craving healthy food. I really have not enjoyed eating out. The food tastes weak. My stomach really hurt afterwards. I want a day of freedom where I get to cook lean proteins, drink lean dairy and prep some not-so-convenient whole grain dishes that will make me feel healthy again.
Not because I hate where I am and how I feel.
Rather because I want to feel like I felt two weeks ago.
After so many tomorrows that weren’t really different days……
…This one is.
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