TRENTDREAMER   15,078
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TRENTDREAMER's Recent Blog Entries

Today is the new tomorrow

Monday, September 05, 2011

These past couple of weeks I ate poorly. Lots of commitments that involved eating out. Yesterday I ate out for both lunch and dinner. Both large meals, lots of salt, and large desert for dinner. I knew that the scale would probably not say 195, but rather over 200. I was right.

One of the things that frustrates me more than pretty much everything are platitudes. Sayings that are overused to the point that they don’t mean anything:
* “just move on”
* “ok, so you had a bad day, we all do”
* “don’t beat yourself up” (especially funny/annoying when im not)

They all attempt to minimize the frustration, provide false hope and in reality demoralize the person who is struggling

(they do me, at least. Tho ive never seen any one ever respond to one of these with, “thank you. You’re right I can kick 10-50 years of awful eating habits by just ‘moving on’. Ill stop beating myself up now. Thank goodness i just had a bad day!”).

The main one that has frustrated/hurt more than the rest of them was, “tomorrow is another day”

It annoyed me because tomorrow never really was any different. I couldn’t stop eating. I’d try setting a goal and would last 3 days and then id fall back into the same old routine. Always getting reassurances that tomorrow would be another day….

Only to have it be the same day as the previous.

After these past two weeks of just not having much control over life combined with a lot of stress and drama, I woke up this morning and prepared myself a really healthy breakfast (2 kiwis, 1c plain non-fat yogurt, 2T walnuts).

Not because I wanted to do penance for the bad eating

Not because I wanted to “get back on track” or “back on the wagon”.

Not because I want to weigh 195 next week so I can throw myself a blog celebration party.

It was because my body was craving healthy food. I really have not enjoyed eating out. The food tastes weak. My stomach really hurt afterwards. I want a day of freedom where I get to cook lean proteins, drink lean dairy and prep some not-so-convenient whole grain dishes that will make me feel healthy again.

Not because I hate where I am and how I feel.

Rather because I want to feel like I felt two weeks ago.

After so many tomorrows that weren’t really different days……

…This one is.

TD out!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEAN111766 9/13/2011 3:14PM

    Wow!!! It is so "nice" to share these frustrations with other people... I can so totally relate to your blog... although at the moment, I am still in the "tomorrow is another day phase"... I need to get back to exercising regularly but time has not been on my side... and therefore my eating habits have been sucking the life out of me. Thanks so much for putting this into a blog... I know what I need to do, now I just need to do it!!!

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SCRAP317 9/13/2011 12:36PM

    Love, love, love this blog Trent. I feel the same way - and that says alot about us! My body does crave healthy foods and my body also punishes me when I dont' give it healthy foods. I'm glad about that. And you are right, the things that are most inconvient to prepare tend to be the ones we skip - we must put in the time - our bodies are worth it!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 9/9/2011 2:00PM

    Truth be told, I keep coming back to this blog and reading it - almost daily. Yet, four days later I've yet to post a comment . . .
Your list of overused sayings are on my top 10 list as well. In fact, much of this blog must have been written after you had a look see inside my brain, FOR REAL!

Love the ending and hope it still holds true four days later . . . "After so many tomorrows that weren�t really different days�� �This one is."


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Comment edited on: 9/9/2011 2:00:52 PM

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CROOKEDLETTER 9/6/2011 11:13PM

    I hope that you get the free time soon to cook up some good tasting, good for you food. It is interesting how your body starts craving the good food.

One of things I've notice today as I was eating a carrot is that because I've cut sugar way down, the carrot tastes sweet. Cutting down on sugar means my taste buds are experiencing an expanded, more nuanced range of flavors than before. Which also means that foods that are overloaded in sugar or salt or too much fat (I love me some butter but don't like food drowned in it), essentially most restaurant food, just doesn't taste as good.

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RUNJEWELRUN 9/6/2011 2:10PM

    It takes time. I have been listening to a lot of podcasts. One that I really like is called Cut The Fat weightloss podcast.
Love ya!

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FITGRL124 9/5/2011 4:38PM

    I think the healthy foods are what you're craving. It sucks when you have obligations with friends/family that involve eating out in a restaurant. I had the same problem on Sat. But I woke up on Sunday and wanted a healthy omelet. Isn't it such an awesome feeling? Your breakfast sounds like it was delish!

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KARBA29 9/5/2011 10:27AM

    Thanks for your comment on my entry - after reading this - I feel like I could have written it. It is especially frustrating b/c I am surrounded by people who dont have a weight problem and don't really understand how hard it is. Someone once said to me " When you are hungry, just have a big glass of water. That will fill you up". I almost choked at that one. Good luck today and " just move on"... LOL
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AKELAZ 9/5/2011 10:16AM

    Pretty well rendered me speechless (which is not easy) - particularly that I have to agree about useless platitudes.

Dare I whisper that it sounds like you're becoming disenchanted with eating-out - or even eating-in on unhealthy stuff - and more appreciative of healthier foods? That must surely count as a step forward.

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Major Non-Scale Victory (helping move)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

One of the frustrating things about being a fat, out of shape, guy is being asked to help move. People equate being big with having at least some basic level of corresponding strength. It’s frustrating bc (a) I h8 to feel like im letting someone down when I don’t do “my part” and (b) I hate to feel like the weakest one in the room.

I have good boundaries, even if they err on the side of safety. I’d make it clear that I don’t have the strength to do the really heavy lifting. I’d know that I would be disappointing them, but would know that if I did “my part” of the huge lifting that my back and knees would suffer for it.

This is all especially frustrating when it’s the cute girl at church who needs help moving.

So recently, a good friend asked me to help move. As far as brawn went, all four of us were big guys. The difference: this time I was an equal contributor. This time I was a “big/strong guy” rather than a “big/fat disappointing guy”.

It was a huge nasty 9 hour ordeal (with breaks) lifting some crazy big/heavy stuff, but we made it through. Even when I felt tired, a five minute break would leave me fully rejuvenated (even after 6 hours).

The kicker: after 8-9 hours of lugging and lifting, I wasn’t even sore the next day. Woot!!

In the last year or so, ive been able to say that ive “lost weight”, “look better”, “feel better”, “improved my eating habits”, etc.. I can now say with great thankfulness, “im in good shape”

Granted, the move was well planned out and there were furniture dollies involved. And yes for the last the last two or three carries up to the new apartment, I definitely let the other guys finish the job.

But @ the end of the day, no one said or could say. “trent didn’t do ‘his part’ of the heavy work/lifting”

Thank you, SparkPeople!

- TD out

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CROOKEDLETTER 9/5/2011 3:44PM

    Now that is a great victory!

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COUTURELADY 9/3/2011 6:42PM

    Good job brother! All your exercise is paying off!

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DAWNDREGER 8/31/2011 12:06AM

    talk about a major non-scale victory!!! Congratulations!

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AKCHELLE 8/30/2011 8:41AM

    way to go emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/29/2011 11:04PM

    Fabulous. That is way cool!

Congrats, rock star!!

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BYEBYEFAT. 8/28/2011 11:39AM

    Yay! I am glad that you had that sense of accomplishment! You deserve it! :D thats awesome.

PLUS! ... i bet you sweated out .8lbs that day :)

i'll see you tomorrow at weigh in!

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FITGRL124 8/28/2011 10:27AM

    You are a big/strong guy and you should be so proud! I know I'm proud of you!!! emoticon

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My 16 minutes of fame

Saturday, August 20, 2011

My current program:

::EXERCISE:::
16 minutes a day (1 day off and 1 day of double session)
* six weeks ago I started @ 10 minutes per day every week. ive added 1 minute a day each week. That’s it.

As ive gotten healthier, ive challenged myself to heavier weights and tougher exercises. When I started with kettlebells the first week I was using 5lb bells and weights, even for the double swings. Last night, i finally moved up from the 15lb ones to the 20s for the 2 handed swings.

@ the same time, if I really don’t feel like working out, I can do 16 minutes of very low intensity walking or light weights.

The gr8 thing about 10-15 minute sessions is that if its 8:30pm and I realize that I haven’t worked out yet or really don’t feel like it, I can do it easily.

::EATING::
3 vegetables a week (a WEEK not a day). Add 1 per week every month

Eating vegetables does not come naturally to me. My mom and dad didn’t like them and never forced them on me. @ the same time, I know the health benefits to them. I’ve tried buying a lot of vegetables with the intent of eating them only to throw them out.

Last month, I set a goal of eating 2 per week and raised it to 3 this month. Over the next 2-3 years, I will up that 1 per week every month until im eating 3-5 per day.

::REWARD::
everytime I do an exercise session or eat 1 of the 3 vegetables, I roll a die and put that number of dollars into a spending bucket for new clothes or whatever. Yes, I’ve had that day where I rolled really low numbers after an extremely intense workout, but for the most part I like it (took the idea from the sparkwheel)

I’ve already bought 1 tshirt with the fund. When I hit 195, I’m probably going to buy a whole new outfit.


::BOTTOM LINE::
* small amount of exercise. Increase time slowly
* take an area of eating and slowly add a small amount.
* build a reward slowly.

This time next year, I will:
* be up to 45-60 minutes per day (probably have dropped the double session and kept the rest day)
* eating an average of 2 vegetables a day
* planning a vacation with the fund

So far so good.

Td out!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 9/3/2011 2:56AM

    I like your plan of action.

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MARINEMAMA 8/23/2011 7:25PM

    WTG!!

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CROOKEDLETTER 8/22/2011 5:01PM

    I like how you are being realistic about how it takes time to adjust your taste buds. If you like marinara sauce, that can be an easy way to get more veggies w/o feeling like you are eating your veggies. It was one of the ways I trained/tricked myself to eat more veggies.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 8/22/2011 12:34PM

    A manageable and achievable plan! It becomes easier when we find what works for us because one size does not fit all. :)

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MY_HEALTH_BABY 8/20/2011 7:23PM

    emoticon

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FITGRL124 8/20/2011 12:56PM

    I love your plan!!! The dice rolling is awesome! emoticon

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MEADSBAY 8/20/2011 11:08AM

    Sounds like a very mature responsible and reasonable plan, TD.
I know, you probably hate hearing that!
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I love u, my spark friends

Monday, August 15, 2011

ill make no bones about it today was an awful day at work. i love my boss and i love all my coworkers. there's one coworker though...... u know the type. hes one of those "can dish it out but cant take it" people. he will lecture/correct me ad naseum about anything that i do or say that isnt exactly how hed say/do it. but when i say something even in the slightest way to indicate that he is doing something wrong......

you know the drill.

today he apparently came whining to my boss about an email that i sent asking him to stop doing something that was inappropriate (nothing major, just slightly annoying). apparently he was really upset. my boss admitted that he was overreacting, but indicated that i should try to have coffee with him and try to smooth things over. i will gladly do this (this after sincerely apologizing btw. i could have said what i said more nicely)

hes a good person, but really annoying and disproportionately hypersensitive given his attitude. this in addition to a lot of other stressful things in my life right now.

i have never had a better, more intense, 15 minutes of kickboxing and weight IT training than i did right after work as i reflected on the day.

so i came home tonight and logged on to spark people. Just seeing the profile pics of you, my dear sparkfriends who i love very much made me tear up and realize how blessed i am to have you in my life.

i love sharing good and bad days, victories (scale and nsvs) and even the rough times. knowing that ur there for me and that i can be there for you. it shouldn't have taken such a day as today to be reminded of that, but it did.

im sorry if i don't say it nearly enough, but i love you very much. emoticon emoticon

thank u.

- TD

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIVINEPRINCESS 8/23/2011 10:33AM

    Unfortunately, every single one of us knows at least one person like your hypersensitive co-worker. I wish I had mastered the art of letting their "junk" pass over me because I get really annoyed with myself after I end up apologizing for "hurting their feelings" and having to admit that "I could have said it nicer." Grow the heck up, ok??? Take responsibility for your own feelings! (Sorry--just a side rant).

Anyhow, I love you , too, and I just met you via this blog post! My Spark Friends are some of the best people on this planet. This is a loving community and I have received so much support, love, encouragement here--and a swift kick in the butt when that was needed, too--and they didn't worry about hurting my feelings, either! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/23/2011 10:35:21 AM

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/23/2011 8:13AM

    Yes, gorgeous, "I know the drill."

Just for the record - you are awesome as well.

Hang tough, rock star.

Congrats on your success so far....

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RUNJEWELRUN 8/21/2011 11:32AM

    I love you too :)

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HICALGAL 8/17/2011 7:29AM

    im not here as often as id like but hope u know ur a special sparkfriend and i love u too. stay gold emoticon

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SCRAP317 8/16/2011 9:06PM

    Love, love, love you too Trent! xoxoxo

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KRITKRIT 8/16/2011 9:56AM

    emoticon You're the rootness of my wootness :-) Used to be one of my favorite sayings of yours!!!!!!!

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CWOMACK138 8/16/2011 9:11AM

    Love right back ya Trent!!! Sorry 'bout the work incident - been there done that one is all I can say.....some people never change.

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MY_HEALTH_BABY 8/15/2011 9:42PM

    Hi Gorgeous...I "liked" your blog! Yes, I agree. It's sweet knowing there are friends here to lift you up when little distractions try to push there way in....

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FITGRL124 8/15/2011 9:33PM

    emoticon

Love. You. 2.

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MEADSBAY 8/15/2011 9:32PM

    Why, TY, TD!
It really is so nice to have this big group of non-judgmental anonymous friends here to whom we can rant rave and vent!

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giving it my 27-29% (now and then)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

When I was stuck at 238-241 pounds (before sparkpeople), i got my body fat % taken at the gym i worked out at at the time. my body fat % was about 31-33%.

Years later when i started working out again (mostly zumba and strength) and started making minor changes to my diet, i lost a few pounds. one saturday morning i got to the gym early for class and they had, yet again, a free body fat screening.

As the measurement came up i was really excited (it between 27 and 29%. dont remember exactly which). i did the quiet "yes! whisper". suffice it to say, the person doing the screening was taken a bit aback by the reaction.

Most fitness professionals aren't impressed by a 27% bf% measurement and don't see rejoicing as the proper reaction.

She started to point out that it really wasn't a healthy level. I politely cut her off and told her about my previous measurement. her demeanor totally changed. She told me that i was making good progress and to keep it up. which i have.

This week i ate three vegetables and am happy for that. its more vegetables than ive eaten on any given year of my life with a few exceptions. if u told a nutritionist that u had a friend who ate 3 vegetables a week, they would probably not be impressed (until u told them that i was up 3 from usual).

I exercise 14minutes a day. certainly not ready to compete against lance armstrong or michael phelps. but its 14 more minutes than im used to.

This time next year, i will be exercising 45-60 minutes per day 6 days a week. i will look gr8, i will feel gr8.

2 years from now, i will be eating 3-5 vegetables a day on average. adding one per week every month. my skin will be healthier, my digestive system will be healtier.

But that's "then". im on the journey to "then" now. i dont want "then" now. i want "now" now. "then" will come soon enough.

Then i will give it my 100%

for now, 27-29% will do

- TD Out!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KT-NICHOLS-13 8/11/2011 1:32PM

    You're living it, eating it, and learning "it!"
The downward trend in the body fat is fantastic. The upswing in minutes spent working out is fabulous. Your outlook on the now and then is brilliant.
AND, those veggies ... nicely done!



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RUNJEWELRUN 8/11/2011 10:14AM

    I like your future goals :)

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KRITKRIT 8/11/2011 9:46AM

    This blog really showcases why you rock. You just get things...and the way you put it into words is outstanding!
you're my hero.

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/11/2011 9:33AM

    I just love your incremental sensible approach. You go! You are rocking it!!

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BYEBYEFAT. 8/10/2011 9:15PM

    This is a WONDERFUL way to look at things! LOVED IT!

working small, to get to that 45-60 minutes a day! AWESOME IDEA! :D

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FITGRL124 8/10/2011 8:57PM

    27-29% isn't too shabby honestly - I think you're doing great!

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MEADSBAY 8/10/2011 7:11PM

    I 100% agree with your healthy thinking!
You would not believe my body fat %.
I am not at liberty to discuss it.
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MY_HEALTH_BABY 8/10/2011 6:55PM

    emoticon ....you should definitely be proud of all you've accomplished!

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SCRAP317 8/10/2011 6:39PM

    great insight, TD. It's great you had that number from before to compare with now...it proves what you have been doing is not in vein - excellent work! xo

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