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Pity Party Blog I: Not Well Suited For...

Thursday, June 02, 2011

**Warning: This blog contains the expression of frustration on the part of the blogger. If you are someone who responds to any expression of frustration or "negative" emotion by...
- using the term "pity party" (or some other such emotion-is-bad phrase)
- trying to get the person to realize that they shouldn't be frustrated
- using over-used deflections like "don't beat yourself up", "tomorrow is another day", or "just move on"...
then please either don't read or read and don't comment**

My vacation overall was good. It really was. I got to see my friends and their family in their new home. Their oldest child is growing up so fast. I overate, but had healthy snacks on hand. Given how little I ate out except for the traveling days, I still may actually lose weight this week.

There were two moments involving my weight and health that stuck out (one good and one bad).

The first night the family was hanging around outside playing. They live on a cul de sac with three houses facing a nice rounded end of the street (safe play area for ball and bike). the youngest is "getting into soccer". Basically, he kicks the ball and the adult playing with him kicks it back toward him. Both parties have to chase the ball as needed.

After about 10-15 minutes of this I realized that I was:
* enjoying the light exercise of chasing the ball
* not winded
* not feeling any knee pain.
I would have been 1 for 3 at best when I first started SparkPeople. For all I have read about some of my SparkFriends' goals of wanting to play with/keep up with their children or nieces/nephews, I finally get it. It felt gr8, a nsv!

and then (cue other shoe to drop)......

First thing the next morning (shoe drops), mommy proposes going to the swimming pool (crowd goes nuts)!
"You did bring swimming trunks, right?"
"Not exactly"
"Oh, well you can probably borrow..."

It was bad enough having to sit the two of them down 10 minutes later and explain/admit to them, "No, I really don't want to be seen in public wearing a pair of swimming trunks". But the looks on the childrens' faces followed by the long drawn out" whyyyyyyyyyy" when their parents had to break the news that "Mr. Trent" wouldn't, in fact, be coming with them...............yeah, not exactly a high point in my life.

D*rn it, the whole point of losing the now over 50 pounds was so that I WOULDN'T hate the way I looked. I'm almost 195. I'm supposed to be enjoying FREEDOM to NOT still feeling like the stinking fat kid (yes, even @ the swimming pool)

And isn't this supposed to be something that guys aren't supposed to worry about!? Ugh.

What good is being the Hottest Loser.....if he's not even hot enough to wear a swimsuit at the swimming pool!!??

Don't get me wrong, I really like the way I look in jeans and t-shirt. I am very healthy and am enjoying the benefits of better health. This just kind of pushed the limit and broke me, I guess.
(end of rant)

As I drove to the gym, after they left for the pool, I made a vow to myself. Next year is rematch. If I don't go back and visit them and go to the pool with them, I will plan to go to a beach. And yes, by Jove (whoever Jove is), I will have the body to wear a swimsuit.....

...and I will.

- TD Out.

p.s. For those of you who are wondering what my THL exercise goals are going to revolve around motivation-wise, consider this a spoiler-alert.

p.s.s. Who is Jove anyway? Never figured that one out. If I find him/her on SP, I'll friend them.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NONIE_C 6/11/2011 8:51PM

    Very simply, I get it.
Good rant

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INFLATED 6/4/2011 3:17AM

    I'm old (59), saggy and morbidly obese. I am not comparing myself to you in any way. I have a pool in the back yard and I can exercise in it and burn a bunch of calories and do myself some good. I got a bathing suit in 2009. It looks like a pair of Bermuda shorts and a tank top, so my thighs aren't showing.

I understand your rant. Probably people talk about me that can see me in my back yard. I don't miss out on the fun anymore because of my weight. I'm working on exercising more to lose the weight, but it won't keep me from being with others unless they choose not to be with me.

Congratulations on your weight loss! I lost 40 lbs. and regained it plus some. I was just put on medication for type 2 diabetes, so my attitude has changed about "grabbing the gusto" of life while I still am able-bodied, though overweight.

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ONEWAYSTREET 6/3/2011 10:21AM

  In ancient Roman religion and myth, Jupiter or Jove was the king of the gods, and the god of sky and thunder. He is the equivalent of Zeus in the Greek pantheon.
As the patron deity of ancient Rome, he ruled over laws and social order. He was one of three gods of the Capitoline Triad, along with Juno and Minerva. The most important temple of the Roman Republic was dedicated to Iuppiter Optimus Maximus ("Jupiter Best and Greatest").

So... you said it... by "Jove" your gunna do it... emoticon
PS don't wear "trunks" that look like this bloke.. emoticon

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KLPEFFERS 6/3/2011 8:21AM

    Um... I dunno you. Not yet... but I thank you for pointing out that men too do care and have vulnerabilities about their appearance. I guess I never figured they would since most I know aren't fashion-sense high. But I bet the do care. Thanks for reminding me we are all human... and PS: Awesome for playing soccer (or essentially the catch version thereof) with your friends kids.

:) You do rant well and I personally thought the disclaimer was spot on!

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ANEPANALIPTI 6/3/2011 2:28AM

    You can get to the pool noooooooooooooooow. Why next year ? :D

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IGSBETH 6/2/2011 10:54PM

Not sure how I know that, or if I am correct.

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/2/2011 9:56PM

    I love your disclaimer. I want it on a T-shirt. You so rock!

I think I get this. I love my body more than ever now. Do I want to see my thighs running along a beach like Bo Derek in 10? Not so much... I will get there. So will you.

By the way, you rant well. Isn't ranting the best?! I just love it. And I am convinced it aids in blemish-free skin.

Continue to be your fabulous self. Hugs.


PS - what I love about your blogs is how you bravely, and honestly, reveal male vulnerability. It is quite beautiful. Am I allowed to say that to a dude? Anyway, thanks for being you.

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BYEBYEFAT. 6/2/2011 9:16PM

    love you.


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KT-NICHOLS-13 6/2/2011 1:31PM

    My first reaction when I read your blog ... *face/palm*

My second, oh yea I've been there too. I still curse the old man on the porch who punched a whole in my soul.

My third, pride. Pride for you. What's that about you ask? Let me tell you - 1) you announced a fear, 2) you spoke the truth - that my friend takes guts!, 3) you decided not to face the fear head on that day but formulated a plan to do so in the near future and I believe you'll follow through.

"And isn't this supposed to be something that guys aren't supposed to worry about!? Ugh." In my most sarcastic teenage voice I say ... "WHATEVER!!" (add eye roll & teeth sucking) That's what the world wants you to believe - stop it.

Let me know if you find Jove too! *smiles*

Comment edited on: 6/2/2011 1:31:44 PM

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FITGRL124 6/2/2011 10:24AM

    Wearing a bathing suit is something all of us need to become more "accustomed" to. I am not comfortable either even though I feel better and look better in clothing now. Next year - it's SO ON!

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FIDALGOCHIC 6/2/2011 10:01AM

    I'm more than excited that I live in the Pacific Northwest. Never gets hot enough for going to an outdoor pool. We have an indoor pool in town HOWEVER I've lived here 4 years and have never went. Kinda sad

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MEADSBAY 6/2/2011 10:00AM

    Wearing a bathing suit makes me feel very vulnerable, too.
It only gets worse as you get older and everything starts to sag.
I hate gravity.
Sounds like you still have some inner work to do, my friend.


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KRITKRIT 6/2/2011 9:46AM

    :-) Watch out next out!!

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ZUMBALOVER2 6/2/2011 9:09AM

    I enjoyed your rant. It was refreshing to see the male prospective! I still can't believe that you really didn't go to the pool!

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The Hottest Loser Weigh-in: Week 4

Friday, May 27, 2011

(Trent walks toward scale for weigh-in)

Trent (outside of apartment to camera): This was a another tough one. I would like to be at least below 197. I think that I can do it

(cut to Trent on scale)

Hostess: Trent, three weeks ago your starting weight on The hottest loser wuz 199.4

Last week you were 197.6.

This week you weigh......

(Music starts playing. Scale numbers fluctuate. shots to everyone in the rooms' faces. Music crescendo's. Pounding noise)

(cut to a truly inspirational commercial)
(back to The Hottest Loser)

Hostess: This week you weigh......

(Music starts playing. Scale numbers fluctuate. shots to everyone in the rooms' faces. Music crescendo's. Pounding noise)

..... 197.2 (-0.4)

Trent: *whew*

Hostess: Not quite enough to get back down to 196.

Trent: The Summer's still young.

Trent: (outside apartment)
This week was leave for work at 7:00am and not back at the house until 9:00pm most nights. Lots of stuff after work in the evening. Forget bringing lunch, I was bringing dinner to work with me.

I head out for vacation today. I've already found two gyms to work out at and I'm going to try to cook at least one meal a day. Before SparkPeople, eating out three meals a day would be something gr8. Now, just the thought of more than once kinda grosses me out. If I eat dinner out, i feel totally dehydrated @ teh end of the night.

If I gain next week, it will be water weight. By then end of June, I will be @ or below 195.

(back at the scale)
Hostess: Next week you're on vacation, but ur weigh-in will still be next Saturday. Think u can do it.

Trent: I'll give it my best.

Hostess: Good luck

(End credits play with Hottest Loser music in background)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MA_DIDDLES 6/5/2011 1:04AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CWOMACK138 6/1/2011 4:25PM

    Love these blogs Trent! Have a great vacation!

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BYEBYEFAT. 5/30/2011 7:19PM

    wow! Checking out gyms while on vaca... I would NEVER do that. I mean... id never do that before starting the hottest loser ;)

This week was so lame. Hated it. probably gained 10 pounds.

Just bought a ton of chicken and veggies though.

19 WEEKS!!! Im freaking out, i gotta get my butt in gear.

you are sooooooooooo gonna kill 195 by the end of june!


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ANEPANALIPTI 5/28/2011 6:22AM

    lol hilarious commercial.

u got this trent!

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SCRAP317 5/27/2011 2:59PM

    Have a great vacation - you rock with all the preplanning you did with researching gyms and planning to cook meals - you are so in control! xo

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MEADSBAY 5/27/2011 12:46PM

    whew! emoticon

Have a grrrrrrrrrrrreat vacation, my friend.


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KRITKRIT 5/27/2011 9:21AM

    wooot wooooot brother!!!

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ANNESNEWLIFE 5/27/2011 9:01AM

    Too funny! Thanks for sharing with us!! I'm so not that creative. I'm sure you'll do great, you have an incredible plan already in place and your head is in the game!!! Good luck and have a GREAT vacation!!!

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ELLEN0407 5/27/2011 6:33AM


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Your Hotness....

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I've been asked some very deep questions in my life on Spark People and in real life. Ones that challenge the boundaries of the mind and even reality itself. Ones such as:
* What is the meaning of life?
* How does one truly know when one is in love!?
* Does one have to stop wearing white leather accessories one day BEFORE Labor day on leap years!!??
* How is it humanly POSSIBLE that she's SINGLE!!!???

But I will address a much deeper and more thought provoking question in this blog.

* What is Hotness?

I've been asked what my plan is.

It's a good question. It's a fair question. It deserves a very honest and unbiased answer.

But im not going to give it one. At least not in this blog.

The real question for the Hottest Loser. Is.....(drumroll)......

What is Hotness? More specifically.....(drumroll)......

What is YOUR Hotness?

What is it about you that you are proudest of? Most confident about? What is at the end of the rainbow that makes the weight loss, good diet and exercise worth it?

What can you do to get there by either diet or nutrition? What would have such a direct correlation that as you do it you see your vision and when you see your vision you think of it.

Question 1: What is your dream?
Question 2: What are 10 foods that will best contribute to you getting there?
Question 3: What is something that you want to do physically to get there?

What's your dream? Is it to show up at a reunion and be the most smoking hot person there? Google "10 best foods to look great in a dress/tux". Google "swimsuit/bootcamp workout"(spoiler alert: Coach Nichole has at least 1). Slowly integrate the foods into your diet (start with an average 2-4 per day and work up to 7-8 over 10 weeks). Do the exercises. Most importantly, think of the dream when you're struggling with motivation.

In my case, I've laid out my plan for eating. My goal is to start integrating foods that will help fight a sugar addiction.

Haven't quite come up with a physical goal. Maybe it will be to start doing a martial art. Maybe it will be a triathlon. Maybe it will be training to meet the standard for graduating from a military bootcamp. I don't know. I'm going to take the next two weeks to come up with a vision.

The one thing it won't be is to merely "lose weight" or "get slimmer". My motivation may not be yours and the eating/exercise plan by proxy won't be.

My Hotness has always come from knowing what I want and pursuing it. That came from a strong sense of identity. From that comes confidence. But they're my goals and desires. They may or may not be yours

I may come up with a great motivation, and a gr8 eating/exercise plan for ME. What if it's something U don't care about.

When i hit 195, what if I YouTube a Power Lifting contest and say to myself, "YEAH!!! THAT'S what I want. My plan is to eat 7000 calories a day, gain 80-90 pounds of muscle, bench press 400 pounds and compete in an amateur power lifting contest. That probably won't help you if your goal is to be able to run around and play with your 2-3 year old grandchildren.

YOUR hotness comes from YOUR dreams and your desires. Those dreams and desires fuel YOUR motivation which fuels YOUR program.

YOUR Hotness is in YOU!

Your assignment for this week (and next. I'm going to be on vaca next week), should u choose to accept it:
* Soul search for your desire. What out of life do you want from a healthy life style?
* research and put together a list of 10-12 foods that will get you there.

Join me, the Hottest Loser.

as "Boxer Dog" Bean would say:

Much Love,

- TD Out!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWAZY33 6/3/2011 6:18AM

    emoticon this :)

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    Great blog, and wonderfully said! Thank you for posting that. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KRITKRIT 5/25/2011 10:07AM

    "What's your dream? Is it to show up at a reunion and be the most smoking hot person there?"

DUH!!! :-)

"I'm going to be on vaca next week"

BOOOOO...I'll miss you! Does that mean no spark time at all?

My homework will be done!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 5/24/2011 11:20PM

    "YOUR Hotness is in YOU!" Yes, yes it is!

"* Soul search for your desire. What out of life do you want from a healthy life style?" You've given me something to think about ...

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The Hottest Loser Weigh-in: Week 3

Saturday, May 21, 2011

(Trent walks toward scale for weigh-in)

Trent (outside of apartment to camera): This was not a good week. I over-scheduled myself so I haven't been on Spark as much as I had hoped for. I ate out more than last week, so I don't know what numbers I'm going to pull. I hope to maintain, but we'll see.

(cut to Trent on scale)

Hostess: Trent, three weeks ago your starting w8 on The hottest loser wuz 199.4

Last week you were 196.0. 1 pound away from ur biggest w8 loss goal ever.

Do u think u'll be 195 this week?

Trent: Not likely, but we'll see.

Hostess: Best of luck 2 u. This week you weigh......

(Music starts playing. Scale numbers fluctuate. shots to everyone in the rooms' faces. Music crescendo's. Pounding noise)

(cut to possibly the BEST acted commercial EVER made)
(back to Teh Hottest Loser)

Hostess: Let's see. This week you weigh......

(Music starts playing. Scale numbers fluctuate. shots to everyone in the rooms' faces. Music crescendo's. Pounding noise)


(Trent shrugs with disappointed acceptance)

Trent: (outside apartment)
Even given the week I had I expected a better number. I think that one's inflated. Next week, we'll bounce back. I'll hit the grocery store l8r today and prepare better. The next two weeks are going to be really hard. One really busy, the other on vacation.

(back at the scale)
Hostess: The next two weeks are going to be even tougher.
(Trent looks troubled)
Next week, your weigh-in is on Friday so you've got just 6 days.
The week after: You're on vacation.

Trent: It's a lot of pressure, but they're both mine.

Hostess: Good luck

(End credits play with Hottest Loser music in background)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KT-NICHOLS-13 5/23/2011 11:30PM

    What the action plan? How are those veggies?
Yeah, I'm not gonna concentrate on that slight gain ...
No need to cause YOU are the Hottest Loser!

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FITGRL124 5/23/2011 8:50PM

    Sorry about the weigh in! Go get 'em for next WI! emoticon

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ANEPANALIPTI 5/23/2011 2:53PM

    Share your plan with us! You can do this! ;)

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KRITKRIT 5/23/2011 10:27AM

    I so wish I could access youtube at my office!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about the weigh-in! Glad you're not beating yourself up. You'll own next week!!!!

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BYEBYEFAT. 5/22/2011 5:23PM

    hahahahhaha eagleman.

you just made my day 10 times better.

Im sorry you didnt hit goal this week, but you got this.. I think this week was just stupid :) i hated it. next week is gonna be rad. for the both of us. agreeD?

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MEADSBAY 5/21/2011 5:17PM

    No, no, no!
Not Eagleman!

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The Hottest Loser Weigh-in: Week 2

Saturday, May 14, 2011

(Trent walks to scale)

Hostess: Trent....
* Two weeks ago your starting weight on "The Hottest Loser" was 199.4.

* Last week ur w8 wuz 198.6.

* This week you weigh...........
(Hottest music plays, scale number fluctuates to beeping noises, music crescendos, loud poundings sound)

...196.0 (-2.6)

Trent: Wh000 h000000!!!!111

Hostess: I t4ke it ur happy with that.

Trent: I am!

Hostess: 1 pound away

Trent: yeah.

Trent (outside of apartment to camera): 196.0!!! whoa! How cool is that? Seriously, I would have been ecstatic if it had said anything less than 200, given the week that i had.

I almost went out to dinner with a friend last night (he canceled). If I had, i don't think it would have been such a good number, but I would have made up for it next week.

I am 1 pound away from my original goal weight of 195.0. That's a huge deal for me. I have been within 5 pounds of that number now for a long time now. Last August, I was 0.8 pounds away.

Cooking @ home has played a big part, so far on THL. When i eat out, i tend to eat low quality, high fat, simple-carb, comfort feel-good foods. At home, it's almost all organic, high nutrient, feel-gr8 foods.

Spark People, Lord willing and plateau not-happening, I will be ounces away from 195.0 (if not @ or below) next week.

- TD Out!!1

(End credit music starts playing)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 5/16/2011 10:24PM

This is wonderful news!

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KRITKRIT 5/16/2011 10:38AM

    Oh EM GEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOO TD!!!!!!

That is soooo awesome! Already within 1 LB of your goal!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!!? YAY!!!

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BYEBYEFAT. 5/15/2011 11:39PM

    YAAAAAY!!! :D

... but im secretly giving you the stink eye...

because I am going to be the next hottest loser!

Can we make it to the top two together ;)

but seriously..

so so so happy for you! thats great!

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ANEPANALIPTI 5/15/2011 2:55AM

    good for you trent!

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SYN-CA 5/14/2011 9:37PM

    TRENT, Trent, trent!!!! OMG....196? You ROCK!!! I know how hard you've worked for it. Now go and enjoy your great number!


Band leader pumping it UP....


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KT-NICHOLS-13 5/14/2011 11:13AM

    ...196.0 (-2.6) ------- This was great news I woke up to this morning ... my friend 1 lb away from goal. Stay the course. Stay focused. You've got this with your winning combination of determination, healthy thinking and lifestyle. Simply amazing.

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SCRAP317 5/14/2011 10:14AM

    Woo Hoo! Congrats! I hope you don't mind but I took the "bones" of your Hottest Loser blog and put it into mine. I like this format and I feel more motivated this week. Thanks for the encouragement and idea! xo

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