Monday, December 06, 2010
(Ghost of Dreamers Past and Trent are in a graveyard)
Trent: Ummmmmmmmm. What are we doing here? Isn't this something for future trent ghost person...........maybe?
GODP: No. Go over to that grave over there.
(Hands Trent a magic marker)
Trent goes over to it.
Trent: It has my name and my birth date but no death date. (jokingly) That must mean I'm still alive!
GODP: (under his breath) You might be surprised
Trent: So do I get to write my date of death?
GODP: Sure, go crazy.
(Trent writes a date and it vanishes. Writes another and then it too vanishes)
Trent: Um...Mr. Ghost, the marker appears to be not working. I put a date on it and it disappears
GODP: (grins) That's because you're putting FUTURE dates on it.
GODP: Again, you heard me.
Trent: And again, I don't follow.
GODP: What's not to follow?
(Blank stare from Trent)
GODP: (sighs) OK, I'll be clearer. When did you die?
Trent: Ummmm...I didn't? I mean I'm still breathing.
GODP: Yeah, but that's about it. You are physically alive but that's about it. When did you die?
Trent: I didn't! I haven't! I'm still alive. I have great friends. I have a great job. I'm living on my own......
GODP: How is that different from when you were in Seattle!? When you first graduated!?
Trent: (Pauses, thinks for a second. It hits him) Oh, I get it.
GODP: Since you graduated from college you've had one very short time of growth and then you stopped. You hit a setback and you've spent the rest of you're life since:
* floundering aimlessly
* not taking any major risks
* Not committing to a d**n thing!!!
Your friends are dating and getting married. They're moving up the ladder in life. They are addressing issues and problems in their lives and overcoming.
(Pauses and looks Trent square in the eyes)
The rest of the planet is moving on! Read my lips.....YOU'RE NOT!!!!!
(Trent nods, acknowledging the point)
GODP: (exasperatedly points openhanded at the grave) So, when was it!?
Trent thinks for a minute, walks over to the grave resigned, and scribbles a date on the grave. The date stays
Trent: (Walks back over to GODP. Half-smiles) Happy?
GODP: (half smiles back) No, but if you take this wake up call to heart, then YOU will be.
Trent: Thanks ghostey (puts fist up for pound)
GODP: No problem (pounds back)
Saturday, December 04, 2010
(Room morphs into a hallway in an office building)
(The Ghost of Dreamer's past and Trent watch as a group of eleven men and women in suits talk casually outside of a room. Down the hall is a young man in a blue suit, white shirt and red tie on his phone. GODP and Trent walk toward him.)
22 Year old Trent: Hello, can I speak with Kara? Thank you. (5 second pause. Trent takes a deep breath). Oh, hi Kara, this is Trent. I'm just calling to see if you've heard from Dr. Antonio........(7-10 Second Pause. 23yo Trent's facial expression turns to one of disbelief. Jaw drops). OK, cool, thank you Kara. Yup. Bye.
(Hangs up phone. Bows head, Makes fist, raises it into the air and exhales the word...)
22 Year old Trent: (softly) Yes!!
GODP: Anything familiar?
Trent: Yeah, first business trip after college to Seattle, WA. I had just finalized my last paper submission to finish college. Everything I had ever worked for was riding on it. I was going to either graduate Summa Cum Laude or just graduate. That was my call back to the university to find out my grade on said paper.
Four years of my life put into graduating summa cum laude. It all hinged on what Dr. Antonio and two other professors gave me for a grade. B+ or above and I was golden. B or below, I was screwed. Kara was the one who who would sign-off on me graduating summa cum laude if I got the grade.
GODP: (smiles) So what did you get?
Trent: I got an A-
(GODP and Trent High Five)
Trent: Oh my gosh, it was like a combination of 100 pounds falling off of my shoulders but a sense of pure ecstasy as if I'd just won the Superbowl. Everything I had worked for for the past four years had finally paid off. I won. I WON!!!
Trent: Yeah, I announced it to everyone you see here in the hall. We had a big celebration that night. I called everyone back home and...
GODP: (smirking confidently) So what's changed?
Trent: Excuse me?
GODP: You heard me. What's changed?
Trent: I don't follow.
GODP: You didn't accept anything less than the highest possible achievement back then. It was Summa Cum Laude or nothing. You gave everything you had until the very last grade submission. Failure wasn't an option. You set a goal and never accepted even the possibility of not making it.
A year and a half ago, you started on SparkPeople at 225 and said that you'd stop at nothing until you were 195. Three months ago you were at 195.8.
What was your weight last Saturday?
Trent: (ashamed) 204.2
GODP: 204.2. Yeah. (points at 23yo Trent who's telling his co-workers the good news) What happened? You just, metaphorically speaking, got a C- and it doesn't bother you!?
(Trent for the first time in his life has nothing to say.)
GODP: Come on, let's go.
Trent: (mutters under his breath) And I thought being in Seattle in February was what was going to suck.
(to be continued)
Thursday, December 02, 2010
(Trent opens his eyes. The room is dark. he sees a light under his door get brighter. He hears footsteps. An apparition walks through the door lighting up the room. The light becomes blinding).
Trent: (hands over eyes) Can you knock the light down a few notches.
Apparition: Sure, dude.
(light goes down to nothing. clapping noise followed by the lights going on. Trent is facing a ghost who appears to look exactly like him roughly when he graduated from college)
Trent: So...... you're a ghost that looks exactly like me.
Trent: I knew I shouldn't have had that third piece of pizza right before bed.
App: Then why di....
Trent: hup HUP!! Don't go there!
App: (ear to ear grin) a bit touchy aren't we?
Trent: Who or what are you exactly?
App: Thought you'd never ask. I'm the ghost of Dreamer's past.
Trent: (rolls eyes) Oh Boy, this is going to totally suck.
Trent: Wasn't the ghost of someone from my past supposed to warn me about you and, I assume the two subsequent bad dreams/blog serieses?
GODP: ummmmm....we've got 24 days til Christmas and on your best week you blog twice. Frankly, we's don't gots time.
Trent: Fair enough. Sooooo....where are we going? I presume it's to some place that will bring back great memories followed by a sense of regret for something good that I let slip.
GODP: Yeah, pretty much.
Trent: OK, so where to?
GODP: We're going to.........(drumroll)........Seattle, WA! In February!!!
Trent: Wow, this really is going to suck
(To be continued)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
(Trent Yawns) omg I'm tired. Let's see if I can get through this....
OK so. . . . there are many things that we all wonder about. Common things. (Trent Yawns again). Things like:
* Will I ever find true love and will it find me?
* Once I lose the weight will I be able to keep it off?
* If Old Christine's ex started dating another woman named Christine, What would "Old Christine" (or "New Christine" for that matter) be named/renamed to?
* How did these four cuties get away with stealing this song from WILL SMITH?
Though they are not gettin' jiggy wit it, I do like the faux vintage 70s/80s look to their video.
Also, is it just me or "Old Christine" look A LOT like Elaine from Seinfeld. I'm just sayin'
Anyway (Trent starts to nod off) Where was I? (starts to fade)I think....I'm just going to......put my head down and.....
(Dream sequence begins)
(To be continued...)
Friday, November 26, 2010
I'm a pretty sharp cookie. Seriously, when I don't see a problem in my life and well meaning friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, rice crispies, Holy Sovereign Deities, etc. try to bring it to my attention, I get it quickly. It usually take only about 180 (sometimes as few as 170) times for me to get what they're trying to say.
Today, I got a bit of a double whammy.
As I was lamenting the possibility of netting a grand total of 9 pounds lost this year, it struck me:
1) My perception of how I look is very drastically different than pretty much everyone else's perception of how I look.
I struck up a conversation with yet another really attractive, confident single lady (becoming an eerily common thing these days). As we were talking I mentioned my weight in the context of "I'm not a small guy", not "I'm a fat guy". I mentioned that even as a tall 200+ pound person that a certain car was too big for me.
When I said 200 pounds, she flat out told me that I was wrong and that there was no way that I weighed that much. Almost every friend that I've asked to guess my weight has always put me at about 20 pounds less than I am. I can tell that they're honest by the "you've got to be kidding" look on their faces when I mention the real number.
I've gotten that look enough to realize that "wanting to look attractive to potential first dates" needs to drop down my list of priorities/motivations for what I'm trying to accomplish. I think I'm already kind of there.
Yes, I definitely have some flab in the stomach that needs to make a permanent exit. Yes, I'm technically 15 pounds overweight. And Yes, if I could control my eating better and be more diligent about the weight room, pilates classes and cardio training, I would could still lose a lot of weight. But I have to face the reality that I look different than I did 20+ pounds ago and develop new reasons/motivations for a healthy lifestyle.
2) The scale is not helping me at this point
There's almost a religious confession feel to a weigh-in after a bad week of eating. You have a bad week eating you hit weigh-in day and you gain a few pounds. All of the mystery is gone. You know where you are. Or you lose a few pounds and feel like you've almost gotten away with something.
On good weeks, it can be a vindication of a good effort.
I was reading a book about building a healthier lifestyle from a perspective of organizing one's life in several areas, including weight-loss. The author mentioned that one's mental, physical and spiritual state means far more than "a three digit number on a scale".
Now this is one of those heard-it-a-million-times/nothing-new things, but for some reason, it really hit me in a deeper way. I've been using the scale in an extremely disproportionately unhealthy way in evaluating myself (especially given where I am on my weight loss journey.
Bottom Line: Tomorrow is my last confession for 2010. I'm going to weigh myself and see the damage from Thursday. After then, my next weigh-ins will be Friday December 31, 2010 (Last day of the year) and Saturday January 1, 2011 (challenge from a friend)
From now on, my focus will be on doing what it takes to lose weight...
Not the measurement of said.
Thank you for reading.
- TD Out
Get An Email Alert Each Time TRENTDREAMER Posts