Thursday, December 02, 2010
(Trent opens his eyes. The room is dark. he sees a light under his door get brighter. He hears footsteps. An apparition walks through the door lighting up the room. The light becomes blinding).
Trent: (hands over eyes) Can you knock the light down a few notches.
Apparition: Sure, dude.
(light goes down to nothing. clapping noise followed by the lights going on. Trent is facing a ghost who appears to look exactly like him roughly when he graduated from college)
Trent: So...... you're a ghost that looks exactly like me.
Trent: I knew I shouldn't have had that third piece of pizza right before bed.
App: Then why di....
Trent: hup HUP!! Don't go there!
App: (ear to ear grin) a bit touchy aren't we?
Trent: Who or what are you exactly?
App: Thought you'd never ask. I'm the ghost of Dreamer's past.
Trent: (rolls eyes) Oh Boy, this is going to totally suck.
Trent: Wasn't the ghost of someone from my past supposed to warn me about you and, I assume the two subsequent bad dreams/blog serieses?
GODP: ummmmm....we've got 24 days til Christmas and on your best week you blog twice. Frankly, we's don't gots time.
Trent: Fair enough. Sooooo....where are we going? I presume it's to some place that will bring back great memories followed by a sense of regret for something good that I let slip.
GODP: Yeah, pretty much.
Trent: OK, so where to?
GODP: We're going to.........(drumroll)........Seattle, WA! In February!!!
Trent: Wow, this really is going to suck
(To be continued)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
(Trent Yawns) omg I'm tired. Let's see if I can get through this....
OK so. . . . there are many things that we all wonder about. Common things. (Trent Yawns again). Things like:
* Will I ever find true love and will it find me?
* Once I lose the weight will I be able to keep it off?
* If Old Christine's ex started dating another woman named Christine, What would "Old Christine" (or "New Christine" for that matter) be named/renamed to?
* How did these four cuties get away with stealing this song from WILL SMITH?
Though they are not gettin' jiggy wit it, I do like the faux vintage 70s/80s look to their video.
Also, is it just me or "Old Christine" look A LOT like Elaine from Seinfeld. I'm just sayin'
Anyway (Trent starts to nod off) Where was I? (starts to fade)I think....I'm just going to......put my head down and.....
(Dream sequence begins)
(To be continued...)
Friday, November 26, 2010
I'm a pretty sharp cookie. Seriously, when I don't see a problem in my life and well meaning friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, rice crispies, Holy Sovereign Deities, etc. try to bring it to my attention, I get it quickly. It usually take only about 180 (sometimes as few as 170) times for me to get what they're trying to say.
Today, I got a bit of a double whammy.
As I was lamenting the possibility of netting a grand total of 9 pounds lost this year, it struck me:
1) My perception of how I look is very drastically different than pretty much everyone else's perception of how I look.
I struck up a conversation with yet another really attractive, confident single lady (becoming an eerily common thing these days). As we were talking I mentioned my weight in the context of "I'm not a small guy", not "I'm a fat guy". I mentioned that even as a tall 200+ pound person that a certain car was too big for me.
When I said 200 pounds, she flat out told me that I was wrong and that there was no way that I weighed that much. Almost every friend that I've asked to guess my weight has always put me at about 20 pounds less than I am. I can tell that they're honest by the "you've got to be kidding" look on their faces when I mention the real number.
I've gotten that look enough to realize that "wanting to look attractive to potential first dates" needs to drop down my list of priorities/motivations for what I'm trying to accomplish. I think I'm already kind of there.
Yes, I definitely have some flab in the stomach that needs to make a permanent exit. Yes, I'm technically 15 pounds overweight. And Yes, if I could control my eating better and be more diligent about the weight room, pilates classes and cardio training, I would could still lose a lot of weight. But I have to face the reality that I look different than I did 20+ pounds ago and develop new reasons/motivations for a healthy lifestyle.
2) The scale is not helping me at this point
There's almost a religious confession feel to a weigh-in after a bad week of eating. You have a bad week eating you hit weigh-in day and you gain a few pounds. All of the mystery is gone. You know where you are. Or you lose a few pounds and feel like you've almost gotten away with something.
On good weeks, it can be a vindication of a good effort.
I was reading a book about building a healthier lifestyle from a perspective of organizing one's life in several areas, including weight-loss. The author mentioned that one's mental, physical and spiritual state means far more than "a three digit number on a scale".
Now this is one of those heard-it-a-million-times/nothing-new things, but for some reason, it really hit me in a deeper way. I've been using the scale in an extremely disproportionately unhealthy way in evaluating myself (especially given where I am on my weight loss journey.
Bottom Line: Tomorrow is my last confession for 2010. I'm going to weigh myself and see the damage from Thursday. After then, my next weigh-ins will be Friday December 31, 2010 (Last day of the year) and Saturday January 1, 2011 (challenge from a friend)
From now on, my focus will be on doing what it takes to lose weight...
Not the measurement of said.
Thank you for reading.
- TD Out
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Last Week: 201.4
This Week: 203.0
(+1.6) . . . . .
. . . . .
If you are someone who is prone to leave comments on blogs about weight gain that start with or contain any of the following....
* "Cheer up"
* "Tomorrow is another day"
* "You can DO IT!!"
* "Don't beat yourself up"
* (insert your own "I don't want to deal with this person's pain/frustration, so I'll gloss over it with some trite 'Rah rah'" coping mechanism here)
...then please don't leave a comment on this blog. I will probably delete it (In my year and a quarter on SP I have deleted one comment from a blog and it was totally by accident)
* I ate badly this week
* I didn't exercise much
* My midweek had me over 205
* I netted a 1.6 pound gain
* I'm only 22 pounds away from my starting weight.
* I've been slowly gaining weight for the past 4 months
* I don't know how to control my eating.
* I feel really helpless
* I'm extremely pissed off.
. . . . .
- TD Out
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
* Closed. That ticks off the boogey man
Boogeyman: i h8 u! ur sux0r!!!(boogeyman walks off in a huff)
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
* Yes, I was on America's wanted for it once.
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
* Those are my only choices?
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
* What can I say? ebay pays
5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
* Yes, especially on laundry day
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
* With the full intention of not doing so!
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
* I'd rather be attacked by a swarm of big bears. That would be so cool
8. Do you have freckles?
* I used to.
9. Do you always smile for pictures?
* Only portraits
10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
* Stupid quizzes like this one with over 30 questions
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
* Aren't we supposed to? Pedometers cost money, you know
12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
* You're asking me this because...
13. What about pooped in the woods?
(see response to 12)
14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
* Yes, the voices in my head talk in rhythm
15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
* Nope I swallow them whole.
16. How many people have you slept with this week?
* (see responses to 12 and 13)
17. What size is your bed?
18. What is your Song of the week?
(Go ahead and tell me that this song isn't stuck in your head)
19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
* Oh yeah, it's the guys who wear blue that creep me out.
20. Do you still watch cartoons?
* AND I live in my parent's basement, AND I have a guitar that I've played once, AND I'm president of my town's Weird Al fan club. WHADDELSE Ya need to know!?
21. What's your least favorite movie?
* This one
Thank goodness they got more awesome.
22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
* If I told you, then how "hidden" would it really be?
23. What do you drink with dinner?
24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
25. What is your favorite food?
* (sigh) I didn't become a sparkie by having just one.
26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
* Groundhog Day (rim shot)
27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
* That really beautiful woman right before I woke up this morning.
28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
* So my days as a hermaphrodite scout don't count, eh?
29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
* Get chocolate in me, not much is off the table.
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
* Write a letter on paper? Then what good would telegraphs be?
31. Can you change the oil on a car?
* I let the oil change fairy take care of that
32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
* As if a cop could catch me gunning it in my super-uber-macho powerful 1999 Daewoo Nubria. Hollah!!
33. Ran out of gas?
* Not when I ate at my university's dining hall (rim shot)
34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
* The Trentdreamer between the blankets/sheets and mattress on a cold Saturday morning one.
35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
36. What is your usual bedtime?
10:36:13.79 pm. If I miss that by more than a 2 second window, I'm tossing and turning all night.
37. Are you lazy?
I don't feel like answering this. I'd rather play video games
38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
* a Stevador
39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
* The Wuzzle
40. How many languages can you speak?
* Does Esperanto count? What about C++ or .net?
41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
* First letters on paper, now this. hate to break it to you quizzie, but the 1980/1990's are over.
42.Which are better Legos or lincoln logs?
* Two words: "Real bricks" (Last time I hire THAT contractor to refinish the front of my house).
43. Are you stubborn?
* I refuse to answer that question. Staunchly refuse.
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!
44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
* Tom Snyder, No Chevy Chase, No Better Pat Sajak
45. Ever watch soap operas?
* No, I prefer ones with actual singers
46. Afraid of heights?
* Depends on the real estate values
47. Sing in the car?
* And play the drums
48. Dance in the shower?
* Where else would/should one dance exactly?
49. Dance in the car?
* Running out of ideas, eh?
50. Ever used a gun?
* I feel more and more like doing so with each passing quiz I fill out and question I answer.
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
* About the same time I had that picture taken by a painter.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Heck no. this one's my fav
53. Is Christmas stressful?
* Oh no, of course not. It's a time of deep peace and tranquility as we ponder the birth of our precious Lord and Savior (pause, smirk, lips start to quiver) WHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I crack me up.
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
* That question is racist. I have nothing against the Portuguese.
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
* There is no funny response to this that won't get the "this page/blog marked as inappropriate" button pressed (even by me)
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid
* Japanese Game-Show Host
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
* No, but they believe in me.
58. Ever have a DÃ©jÃ -vu feeling?
* Yes, I feel like I've filled stupid quizzes like this one out before.
59. Take a vitamin daily?
* Vitamin A for Awesome!!!
60. Wear slippers?
* Made of chain-mail
61. Wear a bath robe?
* Made of chain-mail
62. What do you wear to bed?
* Oye, again with the "what are you wearing" questions. Go ahead and breath into the telephone while you're at it. You know you want to.
63. First concert?
* No thanks.
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65. Nike or Adidas?
66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
* No thanks, I'm driving
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
* Definitely a Charlie Brown/Snoopy kind of guy.
68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
69. Ever take dance lessons?
* As a gun was being fired at me!
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
* professional eye rolling
71. Can you curl your tongue?
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
* y-e-s-s yess!
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
* Yes when I finished the last stupid quiz. replay in roughly 27 questions
74. Own any record albums?
* As if cassette tapes will ever catch on.
75. Own a record player?
* No!!! um....no......welllll.......I may have....
OK OK!!!! Fine! I own one! Are you happy!?
(Hmmm. maybe I'm not as stubborn as I thought)
76. Regularly burn incense?
* No I regularly freeze incense (eye roll)
77. Ever been in love?
* And the quiz starts hitting on me 3/4 of the way through. Right on queue!
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
79. What was the last concert you saw?
* Justin Beiber (following up on that "Have you ever shot a gun" question)
80.Hot tea or cold tea?
* I just swallow the contents of the tea bag and wash it down with Mr. Pibb. How do I stay single exactly?
81.Tea or coffee?
* Crank 2-0
82. Sugar or snickerdoodles?
* What the heck is a snickerdoodle? I swear, this quiz is just making c**p up. Of course after 82 questions, my speed dating session interrogation wouldn't be going so well either.
83.Can you swim well?
* Depends on your definition of well
84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
* Good question, Columbo. At this point in time a confession won't be so hard to beat out of me. Just tell me this quiz will come to an end soon.
85. Are you patient?
* Making it to question 85 kind of speaks for itself.
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
* The girl in question 78
87.Ever won a contest?
* 10-0-1 in the online "Yo Mama!!" Federation circuit
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
* When I can have metallic surgery? Forsooth.
89. Which are better black or green olives?
* Wait, olives come in black and in green!? Since when!!?
90.Can you knit or crochet?
* Both. At the same time. With a chainsaw.
91. Best room for a fireplace?
* The room where these quizzes are written on "paper" with "pencils".
92. Do you want to get married?
* Geez it took you 92 questions to finally propose. Can we do dinner first?
93. If married, how long have you been married?
* OK 100 question quiz, I'll marry you already.
94. Who was your HS crush?
* She meant nothing to me. Don't be getting all jealous. We're not even married yet.
95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
* Breathes deeply* after 95 questions, WHO wouldn't
96. Do you have kids?
* Not to the best of my knowledge
97. Do you want kids?
* No thanks, I'm driving
98. What's your favorite color?
* At this point, the orange color my monitor's power button turns when it's off.
99. Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes, the author of this quiz when I take a swing at them.
100. Did you watch Next Great American Band on FOX?
* Thats it quiz, I want a divorce
I'm sorry you had to witness that.
- TD Out!
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