Monday, May 17, 2010
Alrighty right right. So I've failed on yet another goal but am facing the possibility of being below 200 for the first time in a long time. I'm crushed in spirit yet hopeful for tomorrow. So what to do? Must choose carefully..........mmmmmmm....... I got it!!!!!
I can be an IDIOT!!! Again!!!!
Roll that beautiful blog footage, Tito!!1
Tito: Okey Dokey (Tito rolls footage)
A - Age:
* before beauty
B - Bed size:
* Well, (blushes) it's not the best pickup line I've heard, but it will have to do (Winks back).
C - Chore you hate:
* I can only pick one?
D - Dog's name:
* Finius Otis VonWoofenburgh (I know, nothing too original. If I had a dog it would be in couseling now.)
E - Essential start your day item:
That "waking up" thing has been known to play a sizable part.
F - Favorite color:
* That pinkish/reddish color that my girlfriends of the past's faces usually turned right before those fun little light hearted "We're through!!!" chit-chats. Ahhh memories, light the corners of my mind.
G - Gold or Silver:
* No thanks, I'm driving.
H - Height:
* Some where between these two guys
I - Instruments you play:
J - Job title:
"Captain of the gravy train". Just like THIS guy
but I'm not a friendly reminder ;)
K - Kid(s):
* I arguably am one(s)
L - Living arrangements:
* No, the last arrangement passed away in 2006.
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth:
* That "Yeah, but what have you done for me lately?" question I asked my mom after she gave me the "I nursed you in the womb for nine months" guilt trip.
P - Pet Peeve:
* pass it on questionnaires with gimmicks
Q - Quote from a movie:
* Pretty much everything SHE says in this scene:
Sadly, I've had far less functional/productive conversations with girlfriends of my past.
R - Right or left handed:
* Those are my only choices!?
S - Siblings:
* None who would admit to such an ignominious lot in life.
T - Time you wake up:
* Usually about 5 minutes after the voices in my head do.
U- First word that comes to your mind for "U":
* "ubiquitarianism" as if that wouldn't be everyone's first one.
(Ironically, the site that I found that word on had at the bottom "I hope you have found this site to be useful." **I swear I'm not kidding** )
V - Vegetable you dislike:
* I did not become a SparkPerson for being so discerning on the matter
W - Ways you run late:
* Hmmmm. I'll answer this one after Y
X - X-rays you've had:
* OK maybe the pickup line in B wasn't so bad after all.
Y - Yummy food you make:
* I did not become a SparkPerson for being so discerning on the matter.
Z - Zoo favorite:
* Sounds like a grunge band in the post Cobain era 1995/1996ish
- TD out!!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Ali: TRENTDREAMER, Since starting SparkPeople, you've lost 21.6 pounds. Last week your weight was 203.4. To stay on the 195 by 5.29 challenge, you need to have lost at least 2.4 pounds. This week your weight is...
(Weigh-in music starts playing. Camera shoots to all 195 by 5.29! contestants. The music crescendos. The scale vacillates with random numbers between 190 and 230 and makes random beeping noises.....)
Scale: 203.8 [+0.4]
(silence fills the room)
Trent: Well, I guess the four sliders, two bowls of mac and cheese, and ice cream at my friend's graduation party last night wasn't the smartest idea.
Ali: Trent, your weight this week was above 201. I'm sorry to tell you that you are not going to be 195 by 5.29.
Trent: Thank you, Ali
(Trent walks somberly out of the weigh-in area. Somber music plays in the background. Lit name panel with "Trent" printed on it fades)
(Scene changes to close up of Trent outside of the gym (wearing a GAP t-shirt that says "dreamer" on it))
Trent: What I didn't count on was that when I hit 203 I would be as happy with my appearance as I am.
In fighting for 195, I focused really heavily on eating better and not exercising much beyond basic walking and Pilates.
If I were to have started real strength training, my weight would probably have gone up both from muscle and extra eating. I couldn't afford a gain like that in trying to reach 195 by 5.29.
I was losing weight but not looking much better for it and not really feeling healthier. Frankly the cargoes aren't going to fit unless I start shaping and toning up the body. I mean they fit OK now, but not well.
Yesterday I did a full cardio and upper body workout. It felt awesome.
I got what I really wanted out of this goal, even if I didn't get the stated number. In the meantime, it's time for me to come up with a new vision and a new plan. I will do that over the next couple of weeks.
(looking right into camera)
SparkPeople! The next time you hear from me it will probably be early in the week and I will write one of my usual midweek blogs. Nothing fancy.
(end credit music starts playing)
* To all of my Sparkfriends: I love you all and am extremely thankful for your love and support.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
As many of you know, I've been struggling with my goal of 195 by 5.29. I'm extremely happy with my weight and control over my eating (though it's been a bit of a rough week). There is a harsh reality that I face.
I'm probably not going to be much below 201 this Saturday, if I am at all. That gives me two weeks to lose 6 pounds. That is very steep, given that I've been pulling some fairly aggressive numbers these past few weeks.
Because it was in a SparkMail I won't mention who it was, but someone who was encouraging me asked the question, "Do you want your goal?". She then continued by basically saying to put in the extra effort and make it happen.
The question gave me pause. Do I really want my goal of 195 by 5.29? A very reasonable question, though asked rhetorically. That's when it occurred to me
* 195? Yes! absolutely. No compromises. I want to be at that weight.
* By 5.29.......? Meh.
When I originally set the goal, I needed to lose an average of 1-2 pounds a week. Quite reasonable. Now, I'm going to need to lose 2-3 pounds a week. That's way WAY too much. I got started with the actual weight loss a little late in the game.
I think of it this way. Let's say I want to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco. I set the goal of getting there by 7:00 (Nothing pressing, I just want to get there to check into the hotel at a reasonable time). I leave at noon, but I get a flat tire and it takes me some time to put on the spare. Other minor things like having to get gas and I hit some traffic. All of this and three hours in, I've made 1 hour of progress.
Can I still get there by 7:00, sure. If I drive crazy over the speed limit, I probably can. But is it worth it? No, San Francisco isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Do I stop trying and turn around? No, I can still get there by 9:00 or 10:00. If I drive normally. Later than I wanted, maybe. But no less enjoyable.
My weight loss is like that trip in certain ways. I'm behind where I want to be. I could in theory make 195 by 5.29 healthfully if I have a really out of the blue great week and the scale says 199, but that's probably not going to happen.
If it said 201, I could really clamp down, fast, do some really drastic and abusive things to my body (metaphorically speaking, drive really crazy fast). But for what? I don't have a special occasion that weekend. 195 by the fourth of July would make me happy. If I was trying to meet a weight requirement for a job or something, yeah I'd do it. But I'm not.
But turn around? Absolutely not. I am not giving up on 195. I just don't absolutely need it two weeks from Saturday. It was a great goal, but ultimately it was and still is an arbitrary date.
Traffic has cleared and I'm losing weight and making decent progress (cruisin' up I5). Would I like to have made it by 5.29? Sure. Will I be any less proud of 195 if it happens on June 12/19? No. Not at all. I'll get there between 10:00 and 11:00 and check in before the lobby closes.
As always, thank you for your support. It has and will continue to make a great difference in my journey. I will let you know how this weekend's weigh-in goes. Who knows, I might catch a lucky break. If not, it is well with my soul.
195 by 5.29 (perhaps for the last time)!
- TD out
Monday, May 03, 2010
So for the past 170 or so years (editor's note: a month and a half or so, actually. But it does seem like what he said), those of you who have been reading my blogs and going on my page or sitting beside me on the bus or anything have heard the echos of my war cry... (queue war cry)....
"195 by 5.29!!!"
(crowd goes nuts)
I've lost over 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks, but have been struggling over the fact that I have to lose exactly 2 pounds per week for the next four weeks to make my goal. Really pulled a rabbit out of the hat this last week. I have to admit that I've been obsessing about it. Wondering what to say on that "bad" week. Asking myself the tough questions:
* Do I continue or not if I miss by one pound?
* Am I a quitter for shelving the goal temporarily if I fall behind?
* What will those who have been my most ardent supporters think if/when I have to concede?
* Why am I so focused on/obsessed with failing to begin with?
* Did these two guys really think that they could beat him?
Today it hit me....(queue what hit him)....
"Holy crap, I'm 203 pounds!!!"
I've gone from being "well over the 200" pound mark to "over the 200 pound mark" to "a few pounds over the 200 pound mark" to "a few/couple weeks from being slightly UNDER the 200 pound mark"
I am the healthiest I have been in a long LONG time. I'm over 20 pounds less than when I started SP and almost 50 pounds less than I was 5 years ago today (editor's note: He stopped weighing himself at 249).
The whole clothes fitting thing has become weird. It's like I grab a pair of pants that I've never been able to wear before and just assume that it will fit....and it does. The vintage bright red t-shirt that I was going to wear for the first time in years when I first wore the cargoes on 5.29? Already wearing. It totally fits.
9 months ago I could barely even finish the warm up at my Pilates class. Last week, it was the whole hour with only 2 or three moves that I couldn't do. I'm walking for hours at a time without getting winded or sore joints.
I know that I've put the "lost 20 pound" SP success pics ups and have referenced in my blog that I used to be 250 pounds. Today though, for some reason, it's really hitting home.
Oh, and here's the most amazing thing......(queue most amazing thing).....
I look really good (editor's note: For those of you who have never read his blogs before, he is not one who has traditionally spoken very well of himself in any way, especially in the physical appearance department. This is a big deal.)!!
I don't hate the mirror below the neck any more. I look healthy and handsome. It was shocking enough when girls started looking at me more favorably. But today, it occurred to me that even *I* like what I see now. I no longer hide under loose t-shirts, clothing with vertical lines, vests/jackets, etc.. I don't hate hair cuts anymore (my face used to always look fatter post cut)
I have abs!!!
So yeah, I'm going to continue for my Memorial day goal (and if I am more than 1 pound away from my weekly step, then I will call it if not back on track the following week.). But I am actually at peace if I miss it at this point.
To everyone who has supported me and encouraged me, whether on my page, blogs, daily chatters, etc......(queue whatever it is he's going to say)....
Thank you so much. Without you, there is no way I could have had the day today that I did. I know some of the more humble among you will give me the "Yeah, but it was you who did it" mantra. While I understand what you say and yes, I did make the decisions to live differently. I've tried this on my own and it has never EVER worked. This victory is as much yours as it is mine. It's OUR victory!!!
Again, thank you.
195 by 5.29!
- TD Out
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