Monday, May 03, 2010
So for the past 170 or so years (editor's note: a month and a half or so, actually. But it does seem like what he said), those of you who have been reading my blogs and going on my page or sitting beside me on the bus or anything have heard the echos of my war cry... (queue war cry)....
"195 by 5.29!!!"
(crowd goes nuts)
I've lost over 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks, but have been struggling over the fact that I have to lose exactly 2 pounds per week for the next four weeks to make my goal. Really pulled a rabbit out of the hat this last week. I have to admit that I've been obsessing about it. Wondering what to say on that "bad" week. Asking myself the tough questions:
* Do I continue or not if I miss by one pound?
* Am I a quitter for shelving the goal temporarily if I fall behind?
* What will those who have been my most ardent supporters think if/when I have to concede?
* Why am I so focused on/obsessed with failing to begin with?
* Did these two guys really think that they could beat him?
Today it hit me....(queue what hit him)....
"Holy crap, I'm 203 pounds!!!"
I've gone from being "well over the 200" pound mark to "over the 200 pound mark" to "a few pounds over the 200 pound mark" to "a few/couple weeks from being slightly UNDER the 200 pound mark"
I am the healthiest I have been in a long LONG time. I'm over 20 pounds less than when I started SP and almost 50 pounds less than I was 5 years ago today (editor's note: He stopped weighing himself at 249).
The whole clothes fitting thing has become weird. It's like I grab a pair of pants that I've never been able to wear before and just assume that it will fit....and it does. The vintage bright red t-shirt that I was going to wear for the first time in years when I first wore the cargoes on 5.29? Already wearing. It totally fits.
9 months ago I could barely even finish the warm up at my Pilates class. Last week, it was the whole hour with only 2 or three moves that I couldn't do. I'm walking for hours at a time without getting winded or sore joints.
I know that I've put the "lost 20 pound" SP success pics ups and have referenced in my blog that I used to be 250 pounds. Today though, for some reason, it's really hitting home.
Oh, and here's the most amazing thing......(queue most amazing thing).....
I look really good (editor's note: For those of you who have never read his blogs before, he is not one who has traditionally spoken very well of himself in any way, especially in the physical appearance department. This is a big deal.)!!
I don't hate the mirror below the neck any more. I look healthy and handsome. It was shocking enough when girls started looking at me more favorably. But today, it occurred to me that even *I* like what I see now. I no longer hide under loose t-shirts, clothing with vertical lines, vests/jackets, etc.. I don't hate hair cuts anymore (my face used to always look fatter post cut)
I have abs!!!
So yeah, I'm going to continue for my Memorial day goal (and if I am more than 1 pound away from my weekly step, then I will call it if not back on track the following week.). But I am actually at peace if I miss it at this point.
To everyone who has supported me and encouraged me, whether on my page, blogs, daily chatters, etc......(queue whatever it is he's going to say)....
Thank you so much. Without you, there is no way I could have had the day today that I did. I know some of the more humble among you will give me the "Yeah, but it was you who did it" mantra. While I understand what you say and yes, I did make the decisions to live differently. I've tried this on my own and it has never EVER worked. This victory is as much yours as it is mine. It's OUR victory!!!
Again, thank you.
195 by 5.29!
- TD Out
Saturday, May 01, 2010
I remember it as if it was yesterday. My parents letting me know that Santa Claus didn't really exist. I ran into the adjoining room and cried and cried and cried. My mom made a batch of my favorite brownies while my dad told me how much he loved me as his son and that it was OK to be sad. I just cried.
Between that, the new car and major organizational changes at my company, 2008 really was an extremely tough year for me :D.
Goal: 195 by 5.29! (29.M4Y.2010)
Last Week: 204.6
This Week: 203.0
I believe in Santa again.
This was suppossed to be a totally disasterous week. I ate poorly, didn't exercise. Got sick. One of my midweek weigh-ins had me at a few ounces short of 207.
As those of you who follow my blogs and daily stati noted, though 203 was the goal, I was willing to take 204 before putting the kibosh on the "195 by 5.29!" goal. I wasn't going to give up on SparkPeople or weight loss in general, but losing more than two pounds a week is extreme, imho. Though, I'm finding it more doable as the weeks trudge on.
To all my friends (and friends of friends) who have visited my page and been so encouraging and supportive (you totally know who you are):
* Thank you. Thank you. 4 everything!!! This week, I'm going to review everything that all y'all said and try to implement.
Next week, we're shooting for 201 (Will take 202 if I feel I've eaten and exercised for less).
Bottom Line: It's still on!
195 by 5.29!!!1
- TD Out
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
So a few months ago, I bought a new t-shirt with a picture of a man in a karate gee that says "I've got a Black Belt in Crazy". The shirt might as well have said "Trent, you will buy me because you are a weirdo".
I also saw a shirt at the Gap this past weekend that is plain with the word "Dreamer" on it. I want it.
It's as if the t-shirt industry (or "BIG T" as the daily cos crowd would say) is watching me. I do have a conspiracy theory surrounding t-shirts, but I will save that for another blog. See? I keep my readers in suspense :)
Anyway, I was at Aldo checking out accessories (like a real man) and I saw this awesome looking belt. It had a really cool belt buckle. "Aldo" unfortunately is northern European for "Way too small for typical fat Americans.". I've tried on their belts before and, well, no dice.
But I liked the buckle and had just bought a belt with snaps so figured I could put the buckle in the other belt. I love belts that I can switch out buckles, but I hate reversible belts. Go figure. Maybe I do have a black belt in crazy. Hmmmm.
I mean, I knew that the belt itself clearly wouldn't fit. Again, this is Aldo we're talking about. Of this, I was confident. Of this, I was sure. Of this, I was absolutely positive.....
Of this, I was wrong. (Record scratches to a halt).
It actually fit with only one notch left. Yes, I'm actually going to go back to Aldo to buy a smaller size for when this one becomes too big. Thanks SparkPeople!!!
So if you see someone walking down the street sporting a t-shirt that says, "I have a black belt in crazy" and a black leather jean belt with a large buckle, feel free to go up and punch them on the shoulder and say, "Hey Dreamer, you're lookin' good."
Just understand that that would probably become very awkward because that wouldn't be me. I don't tuck my t-shirts in.
195 by 5.29!
- TD Out
Monday, April 26, 2010
So a couple of months ago I was floundering, motivation-wise. The weight loss was stagnant. Most of the decisions I had made in late 2009 were no longer paying off in early 2010. I did a good bit of soul searching to figure out something to get me motivated and came up with nothing.
A few weeks later, I just decided that I had about 12 weeks until Memorial day weekend so I should make a goal to hit my goal of 195. Then I can dawn the cargoes, cotton oxford shirt, sandals, white panama hat and Seersucker Jacket (sleeves rolled up of course) and hit the beach (*en1).
This morning I read another blog from someone struggling with motivation and then I had a flashback to a leadership class that I took a few years ago.
The instructor mentioned that one's motivation is based on the presence/abundance of three factors (if/when any of the three are missing, motivation is diminishes or disappears). The equation: M=DVF. M, the dependent variable of the equation, is motivation. The other three are as follows:
D: Dissatisfaction with the current situation.
* Let's face it, few of us started our SparkJourney with "Geez, I look great. I'm healthy. I'm really happy with my current physical state". We were dissatisfied with out health, appearance, clothing not fitting, etc. It motivates us to do something about it. Unfortunately, once we lose some weight we sometimes are not as dissatisfied and stagnate.
V: Vision of success.
* There is something that drives us. It's an image we see of when we finish losing weight. It may be a reunion, wedding, cotillion, or "Yo Mama" debate at the basketball court (*en2). It could involve a triathlon, half marathon, full marathon, double marathon or quadrupole marathon (*en3). When we're tempted to binge or make bad decisions, it's this vision that can inspire us to trudge on. Without it we will stay out of dissatisfaction, but flounder/struggle in reaching our goal.
F: First Step Success
* How well the first few steps go. I see it all the time. New Sparkie joins. They have a great first week and are excited. They have mediocre second week (not upset, but not happy). Then the weight loss slows, they have a few bad days, they get disheartened, stop blogging/tracking and then they are rarely or never heard from again. Those who take the perspective of overall health, new physical capabilities and clothes fitting can overcome this.
I hit frustration with my weight not going down, but really wasn't dissatisfied with where I was. I lacked a vision of what being a 195 pound Trentdreamer would be like. I didn't really like myself when I was 195 last time. I was at a plateau.
For lack of a better term, it took a blind faith of sorts that it would be worth it. If I gutted it out and lost the weight that good things would come. It has paid off. It was the best decision that I've made in my Spark Journey. I now am enjoying all of the spoils of weight loss once again.
If you are struggling with your motivation, analyze all three. Ask yourself the tough questions:
* Am I really dissatisfied with my health/my physical appearance/my physical fitness/my dancing llama www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUfND
xp3yoQ ? (*en4)
* Do I have a vision of what my life will be like at the other end of the rainbow? What am I really striving for? Forget satisfaction, what does awesome look like!?
* What is a new set of first step that I can take to reignite the spark and get back on track?
Find out where you are stuck. Which independent variable is holding you back?
As these really cute cats and kittens would say.... www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX1Yz
Y'all said a mouthful, kitties!!!
195 by 5.29!
- TD Out!
(*en1) You think he's kidding, but he's totally not.
(*en2) Admit it, they ARE fun!
(*en3) This from a guy who gets winded if he has to climb 2 flights of stairs.
(*en4) He's just checking to see if you're still reading at this point. I wouldn't be.
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