Thursday, May 13, 2010
As many of you know, I've been struggling with my goal of 195 by 5.29. I'm extremely happy with my weight and control over my eating (though it's been a bit of a rough week). There is a harsh reality that I face.
I'm probably not going to be much below 201 this Saturday, if I am at all. That gives me two weeks to lose 6 pounds. That is very steep, given that I've been pulling some fairly aggressive numbers these past few weeks.
Because it was in a SparkMail I won't mention who it was, but someone who was encouraging me asked the question, "Do you want your goal?". She then continued by basically saying to put in the extra effort and make it happen.
The question gave me pause. Do I really want my goal of 195 by 5.29? A very reasonable question, though asked rhetorically. That's when it occurred to me
* 195? Yes! absolutely. No compromises. I want to be at that weight.
* By 5.29.......? Meh.
When I originally set the goal, I needed to lose an average of 1-2 pounds a week. Quite reasonable. Now, I'm going to need to lose 2-3 pounds a week. That's way WAY too much. I got started with the actual weight loss a little late in the game.
I think of it this way. Let's say I want to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco. I set the goal of getting there by 7:00 (Nothing pressing, I just want to get there to check into the hotel at a reasonable time). I leave at noon, but I get a flat tire and it takes me some time to put on the spare. Other minor things like having to get gas and I hit some traffic. All of this and three hours in, I've made 1 hour of progress.
Can I still get there by 7:00, sure. If I drive crazy over the speed limit, I probably can. But is it worth it? No, San Francisco isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Do I stop trying and turn around? No, I can still get there by 9:00 or 10:00. If I drive normally. Later than I wanted, maybe. But no less enjoyable.
My weight loss is like that trip in certain ways. I'm behind where I want to be. I could in theory make 195 by 5.29 healthfully if I have a really out of the blue great week and the scale says 199, but that's probably not going to happen.
If it said 201, I could really clamp down, fast, do some really drastic and abusive things to my body (metaphorically speaking, drive really crazy fast). But for what? I don't have a special occasion that weekend. 195 by the fourth of July would make me happy. If I was trying to meet a weight requirement for a job or something, yeah I'd do it. But I'm not.
But turn around? Absolutely not. I am not giving up on 195. I just don't absolutely need it two weeks from Saturday. It was a great goal, but ultimately it was and still is an arbitrary date.
Traffic has cleared and I'm losing weight and making decent progress (cruisin' up I5). Would I like to have made it by 5.29? Sure. Will I be any less proud of 195 if it happens on June 12/19? No. Not at all. I'll get there between 10:00 and 11:00 and check in before the lobby closes.
As always, thank you for your support. It has and will continue to make a great difference in my journey. I will let you know how this weekend's weigh-in goes. Who knows, I might catch a lucky break. If not, it is well with my soul.
195 by 5.29 (perhaps for the last time)!
- TD out
Monday, May 03, 2010
So for the past 170 or so years (editor's note: a month and a half or so, actually. But it does seem like what he said), those of you who have been reading my blogs and going on my page or sitting beside me on the bus or anything have heard the echos of my war cry... (queue war cry)....
"195 by 5.29!!!"
(crowd goes nuts)
I've lost over 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks, but have been struggling over the fact that I have to lose exactly 2 pounds per week for the next four weeks to make my goal. Really pulled a rabbit out of the hat this last week. I have to admit that I've been obsessing about it. Wondering what to say on that "bad" week. Asking myself the tough questions:
* Do I continue or not if I miss by one pound?
* Am I a quitter for shelving the goal temporarily if I fall behind?
* What will those who have been my most ardent supporters think if/when I have to concede?
* Why am I so focused on/obsessed with failing to begin with?
* Did these two guys really think that they could beat him?
Today it hit me....(queue what hit him)....
"Holy crap, I'm 203 pounds!!!"
I've gone from being "well over the 200" pound mark to "over the 200 pound mark" to "a few pounds over the 200 pound mark" to "a few/couple weeks from being slightly UNDER the 200 pound mark"
I am the healthiest I have been in a long LONG time. I'm over 20 pounds less than when I started SP and almost 50 pounds less than I was 5 years ago today (editor's note: He stopped weighing himself at 249).
The whole clothes fitting thing has become weird. It's like I grab a pair of pants that I've never been able to wear before and just assume that it will fit....and it does. The vintage bright red t-shirt that I was going to wear for the first time in years when I first wore the cargoes on 5.29? Already wearing. It totally fits.
9 months ago I could barely even finish the warm up at my Pilates class. Last week, it was the whole hour with only 2 or three moves that I couldn't do. I'm walking for hours at a time without getting winded or sore joints.
I know that I've put the "lost 20 pound" SP success pics ups and have referenced in my blog that I used to be 250 pounds. Today though, for some reason, it's really hitting home.
Oh, and here's the most amazing thing......(queue most amazing thing).....
I look really good (editor's note: For those of you who have never read his blogs before, he is not one who has traditionally spoken very well of himself in any way, especially in the physical appearance department. This is a big deal.)!!
I don't hate the mirror below the neck any more. I look healthy and handsome. It was shocking enough when girls started looking at me more favorably. But today, it occurred to me that even *I* like what I see now. I no longer hide under loose t-shirts, clothing with vertical lines, vests/jackets, etc.. I don't hate hair cuts anymore (my face used to always look fatter post cut)
I have abs!!!
So yeah, I'm going to continue for my Memorial day goal (and if I am more than 1 pound away from my weekly step, then I will call it if not back on track the following week.). But I am actually at peace if I miss it at this point.
To everyone who has supported me and encouraged me, whether on my page, blogs, daily chatters, etc......(queue whatever it is he's going to say)....
Thank you so much. Without you, there is no way I could have had the day today that I did. I know some of the more humble among you will give me the "Yeah, but it was you who did it" mantra. While I understand what you say and yes, I did make the decisions to live differently. I've tried this on my own and it has never EVER worked. This victory is as much yours as it is mine. It's OUR victory!!!
Again, thank you.
195 by 5.29!
- TD Out
Saturday, May 01, 2010
I remember it as if it was yesterday. My parents letting me know that Santa Claus didn't really exist. I ran into the adjoining room and cried and cried and cried. My mom made a batch of my favorite brownies while my dad told me how much he loved me as his son and that it was OK to be sad. I just cried.
Between that, the new car and major organizational changes at my company, 2008 really was an extremely tough year for me :D.
Goal: 195 by 5.29! (29.M4Y.2010)
Last Week: 204.6
This Week: 203.0
I believe in Santa again.
This was suppossed to be a totally disasterous week. I ate poorly, didn't exercise. Got sick. One of my midweek weigh-ins had me at a few ounces short of 207.
As those of you who follow my blogs and daily stati noted, though 203 was the goal, I was willing to take 204 before putting the kibosh on the "195 by 5.29!" goal. I wasn't going to give up on SparkPeople or weight loss in general, but losing more than two pounds a week is extreme, imho. Though, I'm finding it more doable as the weeks trudge on.
To all my friends (and friends of friends) who have visited my page and been so encouraging and supportive (you totally know who you are):
* Thank you. Thank you. 4 everything!!! This week, I'm going to review everything that all y'all said and try to implement.
Next week, we're shooting for 201 (Will take 202 if I feel I've eaten and exercised for less).
Bottom Line: It's still on!
195 by 5.29!!!1
- TD Out
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
So a few months ago, I bought a new t-shirt with a picture of a man in a karate gee that says "I've got a Black Belt in Crazy". The shirt might as well have said "Trent, you will buy me because you are a weirdo".
I also saw a shirt at the Gap this past weekend that is plain with the word "Dreamer" on it. I want it.
It's as if the t-shirt industry (or "BIG T" as the daily cos crowd would say) is watching me. I do have a conspiracy theory surrounding t-shirts, but I will save that for another blog. See? I keep my readers in suspense :)
Anyway, I was at Aldo checking out accessories (like a real man) and I saw this awesome looking belt. It had a really cool belt buckle. "Aldo" unfortunately is northern European for "Way too small for typical fat Americans.". I've tried on their belts before and, well, no dice.
But I liked the buckle and had just bought a belt with snaps so figured I could put the buckle in the other belt. I love belts that I can switch out buckles, but I hate reversible belts. Go figure. Maybe I do have a black belt in crazy. Hmmmm.
I mean, I knew that the belt itself clearly wouldn't fit. Again, this is Aldo we're talking about. Of this, I was confident. Of this, I was sure. Of this, I was absolutely positive.....
Of this, I was wrong. (Record scratches to a halt).
It actually fit with only one notch left. Yes, I'm actually going to go back to Aldo to buy a smaller size for when this one becomes too big. Thanks SparkPeople!!!
So if you see someone walking down the street sporting a t-shirt that says, "I have a black belt in crazy" and a black leather jean belt with a large buckle, feel free to go up and punch them on the shoulder and say, "Hey Dreamer, you're lookin' good."
Just understand that that would probably become very awkward because that wouldn't be me. I don't tuck my t-shirts in.
195 by 5.29!
- TD Out
Get An Email Alert Each Time TRENTDREAMER Posts