Friday, March 26, 2010
When I was freshman in high school there was a really gifted student named Lisa. Kind hearted girl. Really intelligent. She graduated as I finished 9th grade. My dad and her dad, Frank, were both active in our town.
Years later when I was midway through college, my dad told me a story that I will never forget about what Frank did for his daughter.
Apparently as Lisa was graduating from high school, she got accepted into an absolute top of the line school. I'm pretty sure that it was Ivy League, I want to say it was either Cornell or Notre Dame. Definitely not a "Drive through and get your degree with fries" school. Nor was it a school that tossed out full scholarships to seal the deal. You want it? You pay for it. Not cheap.
Frank took a job which my dad referred to as a "pressure-cooker" situation. The money was extremely high, but Frank really hated every minute of working there. He did it to make sure that Lisa got through school. That was the only ONLY thing that kept him there.
As my dad put it, "he resigned the day he mailed out the last tuition payment". Later when I recounted the story and said, "he resigned when she finished college", my dad corrected me. "No, not when she finished. When he sent out the last tuition check." (The implication being that he stayed not a minute later than he had to.)
While, I get the "You gotta do it for you!" attitude of motivation, I really believe that Frank actually had the right idea. His motivation came out of love for someone close to him. He was willing to sacrifice three and a half years of his life and deal with the misery to give his daughter a better education and future life. He wouldn't chase the money with that job just for his own gain (His timely resignation proved that).
So how does this all apply to weight loss?
If you are struggling with staying motivated, think like Frank. Start with the question "why?" Do you really need to lose the weight and how quickly? Who are you doing it for?
If you are really overweight, your health is at risk, you have someone who you love deeply or have committed your life to and it could (or has) affected your relationship, wight loss probably needs to be a top priority. This can be tough if the consequences aren't staring you right in the face (It was easier for Frank to see the need for sacrifice because it was right there).
If you are going to have kids someday, think of how your example and life can lead to them living healthfully. If your spouse/friends/kids are worried about your health, then make it a priority and let the relationship be your motivation. Not that all of the benefits and perks of weight loss shouldn't be enjoyed. It's just that they can be fleeting from a motivation perspective when the times get tough.
On the flip side, if you are a few pounds overweight and your weight loss effort is negatively affecting your most important relationship(s), maybe try making it a slightly lower priority. I have a female rlf who obsesses about her weight (weighs herself twice a day and restricts herself a lot). Her husband has expressed a strong desire to throw the scale out the window. She holds herself to the absolute bottom pound of her healthy weight range (she lives in fear of getting fat someday). Said obsession is putting a strain on her marriage.
It's not that you shouldn't lose weight if you need to. Just maybe make smaller changes and don't sacrifice a fun night out with a loved one by being a slave to tomorrow's weigh in.
Really, in the end it's about love. Who you love and who loves you. Who is most important to you and who are you most important to.
Frank got it right. I really believe that he got it right.
- TD Out
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Last Weeks Weight: 208.6
This Weeks Weight: 207.6
Goal Weight 195
Down 1 pound!!!!!
I've been floundering between 208 and 211 pounds now for the past 3 months. This week, I held to a goal of eating an average of 1-3 fruits and vegetables per day (final average 2.6). Yesterday the range was upped to 2-4. So far so good.
I have 10 weeks until memorial day weekend and 12.6 pounds to go. If I can lose an average of 1-1.5 pounds a week. I will actually reach my goal weight of 195 by then. The key is my body getting used to eating the fruits and vegetables on a regular basis.
I can totally do this. I really believe if I can balance my morning eating, moderate my eating out and up my cardio (and of course continue with the FVs), I can post my "The Countdown Ends: 0 pounds to go" post on May 15 or 22.
To every one who comments on my blogs: Thank you so much for your encouragement. It means so much to me.
195 by 5.29!!!
- TD out
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
OK, so my most recent challenge to myself is to eat more Fruits and Vegetables. Here is how I'm going to do it.
* I'm starting with a target average of 1-3 per day (how this is computed below).
* If I make that goal I will up the range to 2-4 next week and add 1 to each end of the range every week that I make that range (up to 7-9).
* If I miss my range one week I will keep that range and try again the next week
* If I miss two weeks in a row, I will lower my range by 1
* I will take the seven days' totals, eliminate the highest and lowest days, sum up the remaining 5, and divide by 5. So if my totals are 3,0,3,2,3,1 and 2, I will get rid of one of the 3's and the 0. The remaining 5 will be divided by 5.
* Dried fruits and juices don't count. I want fresh fruits.
* If I eat above my range, I will count it as the top of the range. For me it's about the daily total, not the weekly average. I want to ramp up slowly.
* Fruits can only count up to 4 and vegetables only count up to 5 (range permitting).
* I will post 3 numbers/sets of numbers.
1)The first will be my target range for the week
2) The second will be the totals for all of the days of the week so far (Saturday-Friday).
3) The third will be my average for the week (befor eliminating the highest and the lowest.)
Feel free to join me if you'd like. I believe that not eating fruits and vegetables has contributed to my weight problems throughout my life so far. Going forward, I believe that they will help bring me to my goal weight.
195 by 5.29!!!
- TD Out.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Last Week: 208.4
This Week: 208.6
Here's the deal. I've been slacking. Last year, I struggled every day, every week and every hour to lose each pound. Weigh-in days were a big deal (good or bad). Read through some of my blogs from September-December, you'll see what I'm talking about. Weight loss wasn't everything. It was the only thing.
I've let that slide and now I am falling behind on my goal. Really, here's what I'm striving for:
* Memorial Day weekend: going to the beach at 195 lbs wearing a pair of cargoes that have never fit me.
* Labor day: Returning to the beach at 188 lbs wearing........wait for it.... swimming trunks (in public for the first time in almost a decade).
Losing 4 pounds in two months by eating poorly and slacking on the exercise (As I have these past 2 1/2 months) is simply not going to cut it any more.
I've joined a SparkTeam that is focused on getting below the 200 pound mark. This is it. I am reignited!
So how am I going to do it? Am I going to.....
* Starve myself? No!
* Exercise 3 hours a day until I get sick or ruin my knees/ankles? Again, "No"
* Take cheap weight loss pills? Parlez vous..."No"?
* Exercise with This fine woman and her Poodles( www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdX_OBUeHb4 )? No......wellllllllll......OK, maybe.
But that WON'T (See? all caps. I'm serious) be all I do. Nah, here it is:
I'm going to actually (hold your hats) eat fruits and vegetables. I'm going public on it. This weeks goal is to average 1-3 fruits and vegetables per day. Next week, I will increase that by 1. I will increase it by 1 each week until I'm at 7-9.
My daily status will start with three numbers in parentheses
* Goal Range for week
* fruits and vegetables consumed the previous day
* average for week so far).
I have some additional rules that I will post on my main page, but the bottom line is this (cue bottom line)
Bottom Line: The Dreamer rides again and fruits and vegetables will get me to my destination!!!
Captain Vegetable would approve.
- TD Out!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I think we all ask ourselves some very deep questions. I know I certainly do:
* Who am I?
* What is my purpose and destiny in this life?
* How did Snooki find the strength and wherewithal to stay on the Shore in episode 2?
* Could this fine young lady be the future Mrs. TRENTDREAMER? www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5w1k
Hmmmm. I feel like the answer to the 3rd rhymes with "Tammi"
Today, though, I'm going to address an even deeper one:
Why is it so hard to stand up to friends when it comes to eating? Yup, I went there.
I mean seriously. If I sat down with your friends individually and asked if they wanted you to lose weight and live a long healthy life, they would probably say "Of course". Yet, when you're out with your friend or group of friends and you ordered something that would lead to that, you are usually duly informed that you are ordering (wait for it....) "Bunny Food!!!" Why is this?
There are several dynamics that come into play on both sides:
#1 Frankly, the bad stuff feels good when eating. Why spoil a "good" thing?
#2 Nights out eating bad food is a bonding experience. Heck, I cried when the all you can eat Chinese food buffet place near my old University closed a few years ago. Eight years of fun times with my various guy friends, dates, etc.. Enjoying myself and not worrying about exams , finals, and later on work. We didn't care what we ate. We enjoyed it. It really was part of the friendship.
#3 If you tell your friend(s) that you're trying to lose weight, you at least feel like you're going to be looked at differently. Even if they don't verbalize it, you will see the look on their face when you slip up and are eating "non-diet" foods. Not addressing avoids judgment and scrutiny.
#4 It's possibly setting up a conflict. While not always as blatant as the three guys in the first minute of this video( www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqz1o
jIQTBk ), everyone eating the same bad food is how it's done. You know that you're "breaking the norm" by choosing the healthy option(s).
#1 They know you and like/love you for who you are, as you are, and as they know you. Change is rarely, if ever, comfortable.
#2 Diets are viewed as restrictive. No one likes to see a friend not enjoying themselves. Nights out are about being care free and "enjoying" life. They feel like you're "missing out."
#3 Sometimes good habits can feel like a bad light cast on the one who hasn't adopted the good habits. Change is uncomfortable enough when it doesn't make one look bad by comparison.
#4 Again, it's a bonding experience. Out with friends, not worrying about work, stress, health. The gym and good eating is for Saturday morning, not Friday/Saturday night.
A few suggestions on how to handle this:
* Let your friend(s) know what you're doing before hand (give them a few days to process). Ideally if you're close to the leader of the pack, talk with them one on one (They may tell the others to sthu when the "bunny food" comments start coming). If not, talk to the person(s) who you do know. The key is that your friends will not be surprised when you order the side salad with fat free dressing rather than the "heart-attack sampler" you've been ordering since all y'all started going out. If some are, you'll at least have allies
* If that doesn't work and the "bunny food" comments come in. Approach the commenter(s) the next day, again alone. Calmly let them know how frustrating/hurtful the comments are. Give them a chance to express their frustration as well. Change is tough especially when it comes to food or friends. Evermore so when it's both.
* If that doesn't work, give them a few weeks. They will probably get used to it. Sure, there may be one who keeps up the comments. If the spirit leads, confront them a little more forcefully. Ask them why they keep making the comments (it may just be the way they joke). They probably haven't thought it through. If that doesn't work....
* Wait it out and lose weight. Ten pounds later, even if they're still making the comments, they will have figured out why you order a side of vegetables rather than fries. Heck the loud obnoxious one(s) may still make the comments in public but ask you the "how did you do it..." question when you're alone with them. Basically, Spark them by example.
Just know that even if your rlfs don't approve of your choices and make the comments, your SparkFriends do approve. Blog or post messages about your frustrations. Let us be here for you. I've been on both sides of this. SparkPeople has been a real safe haven for me regarding many of the struggles of weight loss.
As Walter the barking cat would say " www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICIjY
Amen, Walter!! Amen!
- TD Out
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