Monday, February 01, 2010
In her book "The Great American Detox Diet", Alex Jamieson recounts the moment that the idea for "SuperSize Me" was conceived. She and her boyfriend, Morgan Spurlock, were watching a news report on the McDonalds lawsuit. Apparently a spokesperson for McDonalds made some kind of comment to the tune of "McDonalds food is perfectly normal healthy food". Morgan, taken aback by the comment, said basically that if that was the case, then he should be able to eat McDonalds three times a day and it shouldn't impact his health.
Now years later, I read an equally troubling comment (*en1) about eating in "moderation". Apparently "THEY" say that when trying to lose weight, one can eat any food in moderation (whoever "THEY" are (*en2)). Well, to that I say "Harumph!!"(*en3). This simply can't be. I must stop the INSANITY (*en4).
So here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to beat "THEY" at their own game. I will:
* Eat reasonably healthfully (details below) and track my calories.
* Exercise 3-5 hours a week as I have (Mix of cardio, strength and core)
* Motivation? Well, my SparkFriends give me that(*en5).
* Eat a small 160 calorie bag of Cheetos (Look MAW / "THEY"!! Moderation!!)
If the person selling me the Cheetos (a) asks me if I want a larger bag, (b)makes fun of me/my masculinity/my ancestry for buying a small bag (*en6), or (c)starts whistling "Turkey in the Straw"(*en7), then I will either upgrade to the 320 calorie sized bag or eat two of the 160 calorie sized ones.
My starting weight is: 209.4
Get ready to eat your words, "THEY".......
(*en1) To him, anyway.
(*en2) "THEY" are people who know what they are talking about (a category of people that "NIT-WIT" generally gets easily confused by).
(*en3) That's British for "OMG like, as IF!!"
(*en4) And yet, he's going to post another blog next week. Sigh.
(*en5) Amen! Wow, he said something accurate. Whoda thunk?
(*en6) Kids can be so cruel.
(*en7) Don't ask. Trust me, don't ask.
Eating Plan Details:
* 4 oz Lean Protein fried in 1T Olive Oil
* 1/2C Fiber one & Soy Milk
* 1/3C Multigrain Hot cereal/Oats with 2T Peanut Butter
* Whatever Dave serves at the cafeteria. Vegetables as sides when available. Will eat out on weekends.
* 1/2C Fiber one & Soy Milk
* Copious fruits and vegetables
* If hungry: 1/3C Multigrain Hot cereal/Oatmeal with 2T Peanut Butter
* Will eat home cooked meals mostly (Maybe eat out 1-2 times per week)
* Fage or Kefir with berries (and flax seeds if low on Omega 3's) or similar 100-200 calorie snack
My calories usually come out to 2500-2900. Weekends will have the same calories but different foods.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
You hear people say it about bad things all the time. There's never a good time to...fill in the blank. Never a good day to be sick, get locked out of your car/house, lose your job, etc. In general I agree with such statements (Although I once got locked out of my car on a warm Spring day that I had off from work and had nothing scheduled until hours from then. Couldn't think of a better time personally).
So I'm hearing that everyone is getting this cold in my office. I hate taking sick days if I can avoid it. I'll absolutely do it if I'm actually sick, but still. I hate getting sick when I'm on vacation or have a day off as well. That leaves, you guessed it, Weekends. On Thursday, I was talking with a co-worker and said, "I hope that if I catch this stupid cold going around that I get it on a Weekend".
Sure shooting, late Friday afternoon, I started getting the sniffles. Today I've got the whole kit and caboodle: Sniffles, sneezing, burning sinuses etc. And the cool thing is that this weekend I had nothing actually planned anyway. Monday I will be mostly recovered but have the really deep voice so I can do my Barry White/Isaac Hayes impersonation (w00t!!!11) for my poor co-workers to enjoy/endure/suffer.
Plus I will be healthy enough later in the week to get my four hours of exercise in for my blogumentary. How cool is that?
Ahhhh, the 1990's are going to be a great decade.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
OK, here's my conundrum. I read on this here SparkPeople interweb site that I can eat anything I want in "moderation" while building a "healthy" lifestyle. Makes sense......or DOES IT (Dramatic conundrum music flashes)? I'm sorry, I'm just not buying it. Yeah, sure I've lost almost fifteen pounds while eating out at least once a day and having a candy bar or potato chips on most afternoons. But let's be realistic.....How do I know that I actually lost the weight (Selah)?
I read so many people who start this and other diets say that they are going to stop eating all of these "bad" and "sinful" and "awful" and "(insert-your-favorite-pejorative-adjectiv
e-here)" foods. Give 'em up for good. You know which ones I mean: carbs, sugar, chocolate, deep-fried butter, pasta, glue (*en1), etc.
You see, Mr. Chris Downie (If that is in fact his real name(*en2)) thinks that I'm stupid(*en3). That I'm going to believe him just because he runs a healthy lifestyle site. Oh and then there's Coach Nicole talking the same rubbish, the same poppy-cock, the same balderdash, the same banana oil (pardon my language).
Oh yeah, really!!? Well let me ask you this, "Could they kick my b@#t?"(*en4). I rest my case.
So here it is. In the spirit of Morgan Spurlock, I will unleash my Blogumentary starting in February........"Cheeto-Size Me!!!!" Here's the deal. I will prove them wrong. I will eat healthfully every day in February(*en5) and continue my core, cardio and strength exercises. However, every day, I also will eat Cheetos (mmm MMM, I loves me my Cheetos, so I's gonna eats me my Cheetos). And I will do it on Their Terms!!! In Moderation(*en6)
So in conclusion(*en7), for the entire month of February, I'm going to eat really healthy, as I have been, and I'm going to exercise at least 4 hours/week. At the same time, I'm going to eat a snack sized bag of Cheetos every day. Be ready to watch my diet go down in Flames!!!!
I will blog about it once a week.
(en1) He's just seeing if you're still reading. I probably wouldn't be.
(en2) It is.
(en3) A really tough case to argue against.
(en4) Yes they easily could: Coach Nicole with both hands tied behind her back and Chris Downie probably could while on horse tranquilizers.
(en5) Unless he has a bad day or two. We all have bad days.
(en6) Snack size bags are 160 calories. Quite reasonable.
(en7) Thank goodness, I thought that he'd never shut up.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I have a confession. Of the five months or so that I've been on SparkPeople, I've kept to my calorie range a grand total of twice. Yes, you read that right. Twice.
In my earlier blogs, I used to refer to my range as being 2700-2900. It wasn't then nor is it now. I saw the range that SP gave me and said, "Forget that, I couldn't do that on my best day". Even now after making several positive adjustments to my eating. I'm still eating 2500-2600 on most days(about 100 more than my range).
SparkPeople provides a calorie range based on where you are and where you need to be. The numbers appear to be a range by which one can safely lose 1-2 pounds. It's a good guideline and I hope to be there someday.
When I was looking into calorie cycling, I found the concept of the BMR. Basically it's the rate that your body will burn calories if you do absolutely nothing on a given day. This rate changes the more active you are. If you either eat 500 calories less per day, or burn it exercising you will lose a pound.
I bring this up because I see people who are trying really hard beat themselves up for going like 200 calories above their range. It saddens me, frankly. These people have a good/great week and get upset with themselves for having a bad day. This results in them losing 0.8-1.8 pounds rather than 1-2.
As a result of only making minor changes and not quite hitting my range, I've lost 15 pounds in 21 weeks. Again, you read that right. Do the math, that comes to about .8 pounds per week. Generally far less if you consider that I've had two weeks where I lost over 3 pounds. Not too impressive, eh?
If I had dogmatically kept to my range, made huge changes, given up all of my "sinful" foods, I could have been at my goal weight weeks ago. Right? In theory, yes. In reality, no, not really. I would have felt restricted and would have burnt out. Happened on every other diet I tried.
I want a changed life. I want to enjoy the journey to health. There have been times when I forced myself to eat bad foods that I no longer enjoyed, because I wanted to give my body time to adjust well to the other changes that I was making. To some extent, I'm still doing that in certain areas today. They will be addressed eventually, but not now.
I am very happy with my progress and will continue to make very small changes, not restricting myself from eating foods (unless they are addictive). It will take me longer than most people to get to my goal....
But I wouldn't have it any other way.
Friday, January 22, 2010
TD: Do you or have you ever had THAT friend? You know which one I'm talking about. She's smarter than you, more successful than you, prettier than you and of course (drumroll...............) thinner than you?
Ladies: No, not at all. We're the prettiest, smartest, thinnest and healthiest in our respective circles of friends. And, unlike you, we have self-confidence.
TD: OK, FINE then get H&*k OUT OF MY BLOG POST!!! NOW NOW!!! GO!!!!!!!!!
(Ladies leave blog post saying things like "OMG what a loser" and "Like, what's his issue")
TD: OK, so where was I? Oh yeah. Well guess what. I have one of those friends.......... (wait for it).......... in DUDE form.
I did not realize how status oriented this fine person was until he started dating his current girlfriend. I blogged about him in my "2nd worst Christmas ever" blog. the other night I was at a soiree with him (sans girlfriend, thank goodness). He of course slipped her into conversation and everyone jumped right on it. "Is there a proposal?".
I could just see him beaming with pride. In his circle of friends, married="success" and single="failure" (*). He's planning on proposing soon.
Now I hate weddings almost as much as life itself (**). Being a single dude who hates the very notion of marriage being surrounded by mostly married couples (***) dreading the "so when are you..." question, it's not my first choice of weekend activities. Also knowing that my friend is going to essentially stop talking to me once they get engaged (friends are an indignity suffered until marriage). He really is a good friend when not dating someone, I swear.
This time, it's going to be different. I've always been his loser friend, not as successful/smart/healthy(****). He's going to propose to her in the next few months. I reckon that the wedding will be sometime late 2010 or early 2011. Forget 195 pounds and "healthy". I will be 166 pounds and the most smokin' hot dude at the reception. Single girls (if there are any) at the wedding, watch out. TD's back in the house!!! No, forget that. Maybe I will show up with some-one(*****).
My apologies to the ladies I yelled at earlier, btw.
- TD out.
(*) Yeah, why DID I leave that church, exactly?
(**) Note the "almost"
(***) I of course have the added benefit of being that fat pathetic socially-awkward person.
(****) I've been as much as 60 pounds heavier than he.
(*****) It's OK, I didn't realize that I was this shallow/bitter either.
Get An Email Alert Each Time TRENTDREAMER Posts