Friday, January 22, 2010
TD: Do you or have you ever had THAT friend? You know which one I'm talking about. She's smarter than you, more successful than you, prettier than you and of course (drumroll...............) thinner than you?
Ladies: No, not at all. We're the prettiest, smartest, thinnest and healthiest in our respective circles of friends. And, unlike you, we have self-confidence.
TD: OK, FINE then get H&*k OUT OF MY BLOG POST!!! NOW NOW!!! GO!!!!!!!!!
(Ladies leave blog post saying things like "OMG what a loser" and "Like, what's his issue")
TD: OK, so where was I? Oh yeah. Well guess what. I have one of those friends.......... (wait for it).......... in DUDE form.
I did not realize how status oriented this fine person was until he started dating his current girlfriend. I blogged about him in my "2nd worst Christmas ever" blog. the other night I was at a soiree with him (sans girlfriend, thank goodness). He of course slipped her into conversation and everyone jumped right on it. "Is there a proposal?".
I could just see him beaming with pride. In his circle of friends, married="success" and single="failure" (*). He's planning on proposing soon.
Now I hate weddings almost as much as life itself (**). Being a single dude who hates the very notion of marriage being surrounded by mostly married couples (***) dreading the "so when are you..." question, it's not my first choice of weekend activities. Also knowing that my friend is going to essentially stop talking to me once they get engaged (friends are an indignity suffered until marriage). He really is a good friend when not dating someone, I swear.
This time, it's going to be different. I've always been his loser friend, not as successful/smart/healthy(****). He's going to propose to her in the next few months. I reckon that the wedding will be sometime late 2010 or early 2011. Forget 195 pounds and "healthy". I will be 166 pounds and the most smokin' hot dude at the reception. Single girls (if there are any) at the wedding, watch out. TD's back in the house!!! No, forget that. Maybe I will show up with some-one(*****).
My apologies to the ladies I yelled at earlier, btw.
- TD out.
(*) Yeah, why DID I leave that church, exactly?
(**) Note the "almost"
(***) I of course have the added benefit of being that fat pathetic socially-awkward person.
(****) I've been as much as 60 pounds heavier than he.
(*****) It's OK, I didn't realize that I was this shallow/bitter either.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Back when I was in the best shape of my life (my current goal weight and BF percentage), I had a friend who also started exercising to get in good shape. She started eating really healthfully. She lost a lot of weight, gained a lot of definition. She moved to the coast so I lost contact with her. When my friend was first starting out she and I were talking on the phone one night and she described a co-worker at the vending machine.
Said co-worker was completely agonizing about what to buy. She really wanted a candy bar, but was really concerned about the negative health impact. She "knew" that she should get a healthier option. But she REALLY wanted the candy bar. Apparently this vocalized self-debate went on for minutes as my friend waited for the vending machine.
My friend was a bit confused and she asked me if this was right or healthy, basically should she be as concerned as her co-worker was. Here was, and still is, my take on it. Two questions:
1) If a person ate 8-12 fruits and vegetables a day, almost all lean protein, healthy oils and nuts for fat, whole grains and lean dairy/soy products all week and bought the candy bar, how much of a difference would that candy bar make in their health?
2) If a person ate nothing but candy, snack chips, fat cuts of meat, simple refined fiberless breads/pastas and no fruits or vegetables all week and chose the granola bar, peanuts or craisins, how much of a difference would that make in their health.
Both questions are rhetorical.
Yes, individual choices do add up. Yes, perhaps she was trying to break a chocolate addiction as I am. I admit that I don't have the full context of my friend's co-worker's life.
At the same time, SparkPeople has helped me get to the point that I can generally eat and live healthier, so that I don't feel controlled by individual choices. If I feel like a bag of chips, I'll have a bag of chips. It's a bigger picture.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I'm having trouble keeping even close to my calorie range. I'm having trouble scheduling a workout at the gym. I totally ate poorly today. The next three days aren't looking any better.
I'm trying to do this week's challenge (The Healthy Lifestyle 24 scale) and not even coming close.
I feel the weight coming back on. I feel sick and look flabby *sigh*.
I know that a bad day is a bad day. I'm not beating myself up. I'm just afraid that I'm falling back into my old patterns and that I'm never going to break totally free. I'm always going to be one bad week away from falling completely off.
I haven't said this or felt this way in a while, but.....
I feel discouraged.
Have you felt like this? If so how have you gotten through this? Any advice is appreciated.
- TD out.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Last night I went to a party (It's like an off-line version of SparkPeople that doesn't involve weight loss. There was real human interaction). This was my first one since joining SparkPeople. I had a great time. Traditionally, I've hated parties. Last night was great though and I owe it all to SparkPeople.
So what was so great about it?
Did people comment on how much weight I've lost?
Did I eat really healthfully and stay within my calorie range and resist all of the temptations to overeat?
* Again, no.
Did I get to wear some new shirt/jeans in a size that I previously couldn't fit into?
* Nope, wore the same sweater, shirt and trousers as when I started SP
Last night was not a victory. It was the first night I got to collect on the fruits of victory. You see, I no longer felt self conscious about my appearance. "Confident" is perhaps a strong word, but definitely not self conscious.
I felt that with some polish, I was presentable. I didn't feel like "the fat guy". No longer feeling the need to be jovial to overcompensate for an inadequate appearance. I was comfortable talking to people who I'd never met. Yes, even people of the female persuasion (*)
Basically, I felt normal! It was the most comfortable I've ever felt socially. My weight was no longer a barrier.
Yes, I was by no means the healthiest and most attractive guy there. Yes, I understand that most people really don't care about how I looked and would have had the same conversations with me 10 pounds ago. And yes, by this time next year, I will probably be a lot better looking and a lot healthier and that will probably make me feel awkward in an entirely different light (**)
But oh, what freedom it was just to be able to not feel like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. No feeling like the girl I'm talking to is thinking "Oh my gosh, the fat weirdo is talking to me. I hope that he doesn't ask me for my email"(***).
Thanks to SparkPeople and all of my SparkFriends(****)
* 3 good conversations, 1 email address. w00t!!1
** We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it :D
*** It's now just "Oh my gosh, the weirdo is talking to me..."
**** Who I love very much.
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