Monday, December 28, 2009
Fast Break Stage, Here I come. For the rest of the week, I will be continuing to lose the weight and picking my three fast break goals. Wish me success!!!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
When I was at my highest weight and looking for work, I decided that buying a suit would be helpful. I had been a 36/38 waist for most of my life. I figured that I would need to get size 40 trousers (you know, because I had gained a few pounds). I figured incorrectly.
You see cotton, unlike wool, is less honest. It stretches. I could always find a size 38 pair of jeans or Khakis that was generously cut enough to help me live in denial.
To paraphrase Damon Wayans, "Wool don't play that". I tried on the size 40 trousers. Way WAY too tight. I didn't cry per say, but kind of emotionally shut down. It was one of three times where I finally realized, "Ah, I get it. I'm really really FAT".
So I got the size 42 trousers and the high-stanced 46 Jacket (Suit separates, gotta love 'em). The suit looked nice enough, but still. It was a Fat Guy's suit. My chest is a 44 but my gut was way to big, so I had to go up a size on the jacket.
The suit got me through the interviews and I got a great job, but I've hated that suit more than life itself. The jacket fit horribly and got worse as I lost weight. I thought I had gotten rid of it awhile back, but last night (35 pounds lighter) I stumbled across it while organizing my closet (what the cool kids do on Saturday night!!)
For giggles I put the thing on. The pants fell straight to the bottom of my hips and the jacket looked like a Navy blue version of the suit that the guy in the picture below was wearing.
So yeah, the dragon has been slain. The fat suit is toast. It is now in a bag awaiting my weekly donation trip to the goodwill store. May it help someone else find a job. I hope the dude has much bigger shoulders than I.
R.I.P Fat Suit: 2006-2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
** Note: If you are someone who usually reads my blog and finds it positive, helpful, etc. please understand that this is not going to make you happy**
Ahhhhh Christmas 2007...What a Christmas indeed. The previous night I came down with an illness and one of the worst bouts of it ever. I spent 2/3 of Christmas morning in the waiting room of the ER to get it looked at (watching "The Soup", no less). The other 1/3 of the morning was actually getting the disease looked at (Yayyyy!!!). Yeah, it totally sucked. It definitely earned itself the rank of being my second worst Christmas ever (ever ever).
As of yesterday.....it has officially been demoted to third.
My friend and his girlfriend invited me over to her house for Christmas dinner. I shouldn't have gone, but I did. I forgot the wonderful, "third wheel" feeling. To boot, she is constitutionally incapable of talking around people besides my friend.
It was great seeing them be all cutesy toward and hug each other. Yeah, I even got to see him open the oh so sweet gifts that she gave him. It was their, (sigh), FIRST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER!!! (Cute woodland creatures: "ahhhhh") It was like Norman Rockwell meets a Disney movie. For me the highlight of the night was turning the tricycle back into a bicycle (Translation: leaving). I'm sure it was for them as well.
Ugh. If you are someone who has recently started dating someone, please do your pathetic single friends a favor. Either don't invite us to be with you and your "wuvvy duvvy" if you'd rather just be with said wd, or at least hold off on the d**n pda's until we're gone. I'm just saying.
Please don't misunderstand, I hate Christmas more than just about anything, generally speaking. However, it is going to take a humdinger of epic proportions to dethrone this one from its current seat. I've never been happier to be home.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
OK, so here's the situation. It was three days before Thanksgiving and I'm at the front desk at the fitness club. I ask the attractive young lady behind the desk what the club's Thanksgiving hours are, she points me to the holiday weekend schedule and cheerfully says, "we're open until 3:00". I go over to the schedule and start looking at it for the other days.
Out of totally nowhere (at least that's how I perceive it), she smiles at me and says, "So, is your wife going to let you work out on Thanksgiving morning?". This was a brilliant and poignant question of the ages (deserving of a definitely honest and unbiased answer), except for one minor detail....I'm not married.
I showed her my ringless left hand, smiled and said, "She doesn't have much say in the matter." to which the lady behind the counter smiled back and said "Cool!". I left with that "I just had a conversation with someone from a different planet" feeling.
OK so here's the question/questions:
What did she mean (or might she have meant) by the question in the first place? Why did/might she have asked the question? Is this something that you have ever done or known friends to do? If so why? It didn't bother me, I just thought it kind of odd.
I had one friend point out that the club I was at was in a town with a primarily married demographic. Another friend told me that she was definitely flirting with/hitting on me. I don't know. I'm opening the question to all of the attractive ladies on SP (This means YOU, (unless, of course, you're a dude))
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