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Counselor Troi Speaks on Emotional Eating

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Counselor: Captain, you wanted to see me?
Captain: No, Counselor, I did not, but I am advised by the Spark Team to address possible emotional eating issues of the crew in the Ship's Blog, er Log. I did not know what to say.
Counselor: I see. And do you think there might be such issues on the ship?
Captain: I prefer to think not.
Counselor: I see. And why, Captain, do you think that? Are you afraid to face such
a deeply psychological issue? Does it reflect on your leadership perhaps, if the crew is eating out of some emotional rather than nutritional need? Do you feel the lines of communication may not be as open as they could be among the ship's officers and crew members?
Captain: hummmph.
Counselor: I'm sorry. What was that? I am sensing some anxiety, some stress. Perhaps you would like to give this some thought, and arrange a time to talk again?
Captain: Very well. I will talk to you later. I'll let you know when I am ready.
Counselor: I will be eating an entire 440 calorie chocolate bar in my office later. We can talk then if you like.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ICEMONKEY 11/21/2010 12:23AM

    Always, clever, clever, clever! Emotional eating is something we are all guilty of and that's a very creative way to put that. I've been missing your witty posts and hope things are going just fantastic for you! Have a great Thanksgiving and hope its filled with lots of good times with family and of course food!!


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DESERTDREAMERS 8/10/2010 11:07PM


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YINYANGWRITER 8/10/2010 11:05PM

    Subspace Communique
To: Deanna Troi
From: Lwaxana Troi, Daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed...Your Mother.
Subject: There are pleasurable things outside of food ;-)

Darling, you have always loved your chocolate (just like your father!) but it has come to my attention that you have been eating to make yourself feel better. If this is just an excuse to increase your workout time with that beautiful Klingon then I completely understand but I still think you would feel more satisfied if you ate more Mantickian paté. I mean, you don't see your friend, Beverly, starving herself on vegetarian food, now do you? And stop eating such small bites of can you enjoy your food when barely any of it makes it onto your spoon? I only say this because I worry about you. Bad enough, you travel lightyears away from home for years at a time as if you didn't want to spend time with your dear mother...But truly, I never hear from you and I worry about your future on that ship. And no wonder you feel anxious, you've been lusting after the same man for years now. Its time you realized that Commander Riker is too busy playing the galactic field to start a family with you. He's a good one but let him ...ripen while you enjoy other males of the galaxy.

And contact your mother every now and then or I'll have to ask that yummy Captain of yours for an update. I love you, dear!

Comment edited on: 8/11/2010 8:59:00 AM

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YINYANGWRITER 8/10/2010 11:05PM

    oops...double post.

Comment edited on: 8/10/2010 11:07:41 PM

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WINE4GIRL 8/10/2010 8:52PM

    Hmmm. You have given me much to wrap my brain around. Any suggestions of things for the counselor to do instead of eating the bar? I actually break off a small piece, ziplock the rest and stick it in a drawer, then leave the kitchen before I eat what I've got. It makes it harder to go back to the rest. Just a thought. IDK.

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The Captain's Garden Orders

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Number One, please inform the ship's crew that the purpose of the Ship's Garden is to provide active recreation. (There are no illusions about actually feeding the crew from the results of gardening. )

The Garden Project allows Commander Data to enjoy researching deer resistant, drought tolerant, low maintenance plant life forms that can survive the packed clay soil and compete with the virulent weed aliens that thrive here. It keeps Dr. Crusher's interns busy proscribing mild analgesics and heat therapy and exercise programs for gardeners such as the excellent Spark People Workout that promises to prevent back and shoulder injuries which I regret was delayed in being made available.

It allows Geordi to theoretically engineer irrigation systems and terraforming plans to develop a pleasing but efficient result that requires very little of the crew's energy beyond what is available for recreation, that is the daylight hours not assigned to life maintenance activities like bathing, grooming, eating, toothcare, food preparation and Spark People Points gathering. The Chief Engineer enjoys measuring the dimensions, pacing off the areas which might be cultivated, and creating graphics of possible outcomes. The diagrams are visually stunning.

Some success has been achieved under test conditions: the herbs now growing in containers have the potential to keep 10 Forward supplied with enough mint for a year's worth of Mojitos or Mint Juleps, and the kitchen with fresh herbs for culinary and medicinal purposes so long as the menu is mainly Italian and the illness requires mint tea. Roses in containers have new leaves. I personally look forward to someday having a fresh rose in my quarters once or twice. Whether or not any of these trial plantings will survive tranplanting into the actual soil remains to be discovered. We look forward to going where no one has gone before.

But mostly the Ship's Garden is an efficient way to burn calories to balance the excessive time the crew spends at the computer on garden web sites, watching mind-numbing basic Cable HGTV, or reading paper novels about civilizations where gardens were commonplace such as Lady Chatterley's Lover and Dune. I believe it is important to remind the crew members of this priority so that false expectations do not lower morale. We must live in peaceful co-existence with the deer population as they are a protected species in spite of their rodent like propensities to eat whatever is not metal and to leave their excrement in the public avenues. Further, the plant forms that can survive the dense clay soil, the limited supply of water, the invasion of weeds without number, and the limit to the financial resources available to ameliorate these conditions do not auger well for anything resembling the catalogs, seed packets, diagrams and other works of fiction. That being said, I encourage all crew members to avail themselves daily of the pleasures and calorie burning opportunity the Garden does provide. Birds continue to investigate, insect life is vigorous, and the deer are friendly and curious about humans. Avoid the burrs, stickers, prickly leaves, and barbed seeds by remaining on the concrete walkways at all times. When the rains come in 4 months it will be possible to walk in the mud with boots as the infant weed crop sprouts and consumes the dangerous adult seed parents. I am sure we are all looking forward to that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YINYANGWRITER 8/7/2010 12:55AM

    Looove your posts! Opening communications...This will be the first com channel (blog) I subscribe to.

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    Nicely done, captain!

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Holodeck Exercise Program Abuse

Sunday, May 30, 2010

This is the Captain: Holodeck exercise programs must be used in moderation especially by new recruits to the program. Recent injuries have caused the crew member to miss regularly scheduled visits to Ballet Workout World which threatens this world with extinction. The Sparks People Fitness application which was used to create the Exercise Holodeck Personal Strength Training Program presumes common sense and moderation. While the injured crew member correctly designed a daily personal program with a rotation for upper body muscles, lower body muscles and core muscles that allowed rest between for each muscle group, and was even prevented by the application from over-scheduling one muscle group, SparkPeople engineers cannot prevent eager zealots from doing too many repetitions and straining muscles made puny and pitiful by years of disuse. The problem was not in Engineering. Responsibility here must fall on Number One who is expected to use reasonable judgment and not to undertake rash and irresponsible actions which threaten the entire Enterprise in a feckless attempt to makeup for years of lost fitness all in one week. I hereby order that use of the Holodeck exercise program for strength training shall be restricted to the recommended 2 sets of 12 to 15 reps for all exercises until further notice. If more exercise is felt desirable it is suggested that the Garden World looks inviting and could use some attention. Meantime, Doctor, please prescribe 20th century aspirin to the ailing member, and a hot pad! And congratulations on your placement on the CTAC Team Fitness Minutes Scoreboard, Captain out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEMGRIA 5/31/2010 6:56AM

    emoticon It such a common feeling to want to make up for lost time and do too much all at once, but hopefully you'll get some rest and recuperation and be feeling ready to start the program again (at the lesser sets/reps). And absolutely Congratulations on your CTAC fitness minute placement - that is amazing!! emoticon emoticon

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Brave New Worlds

Monday, May 17, 2010

I am in the 4th week and the enemy Borg have only appeared twice; once, disguised as a harmless package of fat free sugar free pudding. Our shields were down and the package ate us, aided by light whipping cream in a pressurized rocket. Second full attack by a Borg Sourdough loaf. It was a slaughter, and the ship crew was seriously out of commission with bloat and discomfort due to gas emissions. We will not be duped into taking that voyage again. Perhaps the lesson here was "No pain, no gain," i. e. we will not gain weight if we do not eat ourselves into a painful condition. We had a skirmish at the edge of Romulan Movie territory, attacked by Altoids in chocolate, but the day itself was not lost.
My average calorie intake for this period is about 1200 . Maneuvers plan is working; am exploring yoga planet twice a week, ballet world twice a week . So far the Walking World option is not being exercised, but instead a new heavenly body has appeared: Garden Universe. This surprising discovery has great potential for dumping of surplus fuel supply, plus the rewards of killing off evil alien Weed species and making habitat terraformed for Native California species appeals to my prime directive impulse. Most of my green thumb experiences have been aboard ship such as alfalfa sprouts, extending the life of cut roses with copper pennies, a serious love affair with orchids one year and an earlier infatuation with African violets. Currently only living thing on ship besides the ship's cat and me is a newly purchased creeping fig which I consider more or less a bouquet with a long life expectancy.
Nevertheless, am in training with free workshops to acquire piloting skills to start a real garden off ship. Gardening sessions count as "extra" exercise, not being tracked on goals.
Don't want to spoil the fun and spontaneous recreation aspect by making this a SHOULD or a MUST, because you know Captain, how deep your authority issues go.
Have plotted goals and weekly weight loss hopes in datebook, have actually gone public on Facebook and am being tracked on Sparks America for regular fitness classes. Very bold move for me to "share" where failure is a possible outcome. Let's see how this step into unknown territory goes. Perhaps boldness is due rather to greater confidence in success than in willingness to be vulnerable to ordinary Fitness Federation members.
And finally added "visual" reminders in strategic areas of the ship: food replicator area, storage holds, sleep cabin. Have written a rough draft of Vision Statement as well, but am now planning to add a section on "create a Native Species garden over 5 years." You have the con Number One. Make it so.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Once again, you've "logged" in an excellent blog! Sources identified at least three bursts of laughter from my station while reading your entry. Keep up the good work, Captain!


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OFF_THE_CHARTS 5/22/2010 11:18PM

    Awesome Blog!

You are showing the leadership potential of a full Starfleet commander!

I myself am going to order a holodeck - so that I can appear in there in smaller size clothes and perhaps eat Tiramisu for hours with no ill effects!

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ICEMONKEY 5/22/2010 8:49PM

    Entertaining read as always emoticon! A week frought with attacks from a pudding package and a borg sourdough loaf. Sounds frightening. Way to take one for the Federation! The different planets of exercise that you frequent look great and what a great way to burn some calories. You are doing awesome--taking advantage of the many areas of Spark. So good to see! emoticon emoticon

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KEMGRIA 5/18/2010 10:23PM

    I love your blogs!! They are absolutely awesome!! Sourdough is definitely a weakness for me as well - sorry to hear it got you too! but sounds like you have so many great activities and gardening is definitely something I wish i had any skill at, so I'm definitely in awe! Congrats on going public - it's such a great way to stick to it and share your successes and get support along the way (reinforcements are always a good thing!)

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WINE4GIRL 5/17/2010 4:06PM

    What a great blog! Ward off those attackers!

You can do this... may the Garden Gods be with you!

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Data reports to Captain," Sir I can find no evidence to support the water demands."

Sunday, May 09, 2010

I have sent my Data-self on a research mission and returned with the intel on drinking 64 oz. of water every blessed solar day. I can't do it despite the 5 point Spark Points incentive, and as it turns out, I don't have to. Recent research (2002,2004) published in Scientific American on 6/4/09: Fact or Fiction? You must drink 8 glasses of water daily" concludes that there is nada,zip,zero evidence or research to support this urban legend. Conspiracy theory would conclude that the bottled water industry is solidly behind the hoax. Certainly the Sparks folks have been taken in along with the rest of us. Sparks points are awarded as if drinking water were equivalent to exercise or actually watching what you eat.

As for me, I am going along with the idea suggested by scientists that if your bowels are constipated you need to hydrate, as in "Earl Grey, hot." or H2O, cold. Not constipated? You are doing fine self-hydration wise. I do believe Mother Nature knew a thing or two about her children and that anything that could kill us (like dehydration) is probably hard-wired to be self limiting. That's why we can't hold our breath till we die. We breathe adequately without counting breaths and I do believe we drink adequately, given the opportunity, without counting ounces, those with medical conditions like alcoholism or kidney stones possibly excepted. And ALL water counts: tea, coffee, soda, juice, beer, the tonic in a gin and tonic, and all the water in every food consumed. These are the facts by the god of the 21st century, Science. If we seekers of health in the Space Age are going to go along with all the other research on health and nutrition and limit our fats and sugars and salt, then I am going to go along with this research data and I am announcing here that as of this date I am going to claim my 5 Spark Points if I consume 48 oz of liquid, in any form except straight grain alcohol. That's 6 cups of tea, diet soda, coffee, beer, or broth, and yes, even pure unflavored water. Oh, and for anyone listening, the total amount of fluid required for adults varied for men and women, just as most things do, and that is not considered in the 8 x 8 formula either. Don't believe me? Go Google it yourself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I count every bit of fluid (coffee, tea, water, juice, or milk) that passes my lips. I live in the desert, so I know to stay hydrated. Had a doc tell me years ago that urine should be light colored - if it's dark, you need more fluids. If you're thirsty, drink. If you've just sweated off a gallon working out (or out in the heat), drink. There are a lot of myths that Spark People, unfortunately, still pushes - even tho, here on their own site, some of their experts refute it.

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ICEMONKEY 5/12/2010 12:17PM

    Yeah I read some of those articles too. I guess the argument is why would we have such a water deficit that we have to drink all day long? Clearly that can't be done in all climates at all time. But I actually shoot for more like 16 cups when I am exercising lots and eating lots of protein (which I hear is needed in those cases). The flipside of that is what is the extra water hurting except your time to drink it.

Anyway, yes, we shouldn't take things just as is but challenge & question them. Now you've got me thinking I need to do more research!

emoticon emoticon

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KEMGRIA 5/10/2010 6:50AM

    Very interesting post! I've also heard that the 8 per day isn't true as far as being necessary for survival, but on the other hand, it does serve a purpose of helping to flush out toxins. I never seem to make the 8, although i definitely give it my all emoticon I like the everyone has to find what works for them though, and it sounds like you definitely have!! congrats and thanks for sharing a great blog!

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