Friday, July 05, 2013
So obviously I haven't been blogging. Life has been very busy and I really haven't thought about sparkpeople all that much. I still read the weekly emails but even that sometimes takes me days to get to. Even though I haven't been on sparkpeople I have still been being active :D. I'm in the bush monday to Friday and I've been camping/hiking on half my weekends. When I first got up here I was gaining weight because I was drinking a lot and eating a lot of crap food. I didn't gain much, and I could feel the difference in my body, so I went back to healthier meals and working out when I have the energy. I don't have the energy every day. Actually most days I'm exhausted after work, but I do try.
Life is amazing now. It's been 6 months since AB and I started going to the gym regularly and I've lost 38-40 pounds, which works out to a sustained loss of 1.4 pounds a week. Considering I've probably taken a month and a half off all totaled, I am very very happy with that. It actually just occured to me today that I am only 9 pounds aware from what I thought would be my final goal weight. I weighed in at 159.6 this morning :D. My lowest weight in many many many years. I feel amazing in comparison to what I did. I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm actually willing to wear a bikini now, even if it doesn't look the greatest. My confidence is up, my self respect is up, my life is happier, and I'm starting to become the person I always wanted to be but was too afraid of failing.
I don't know what my final goal weight will be. Originally it was 150, but now it's 130-140. I'm really just playing it by ear to see how I look/feel when I get to those stages. It would be kind of amazing to be 130 pounds, but if that is unobtainable then I am more than happy to be wherever I am healthy and fit at. I love that it's still not about being skinny but about being fit. Being skinnier is definitely a bonus, but it's not the destination and I think that makes a huge difference in my outlook on this whole process this time around.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Well, After I got out of the Obese category....I fell right back into it!! I was fluctuating between 171-173 pounds until 3 days ago when my scale told me something amazing again!!! 165.0 Then 164.0 then 165.2. I'm definitely not complaining.
I'm not sure what's with the fluctuations, but I'm hoping to stay around or under 165 before I leave for work in 12 days. Tomorrow I can only do one workout because I'm going out with friends after work before I leave. I would love to lose another 3 pounds in those 12 days. Then I will be safely under 165. Honestly, I think my fluctuations are my body telling me it needs a rest because I seem to jump back up in weight when I push too hard for too long. Rest days are important, and I definitely need to remember to take them. I get so focused on working harder for longer that I forget that m body is not yet a machine.
I took 3 days off the gym because I was sick, and started insanity and going back to the gym on Monday. My workouts have been good, and I have been sweating a lot :D. My heart rate is even higher than its been, back to where it was when I first started which makes me happy because I hate when I can't get my heart rate up. I've lost 5 or 6 inches in the last month, and I'm finally starting to not feel fat!! That's a pretty awesome feeling.
This may sound strange to some people, but honestly, I don't feel like I'm working at this hard enough most the time. So many people have a very hard time losing weight and they try sooo incredibly hard, and it's not easy for me, but I still eat junk food, drink pop, have ice cream, and pretty much anything else I want. Sure it's generally in moderation, but I'm not trying as hard as a lot of people and I really wish others could have the same success I've had with all their hard work.
Friday, April 05, 2013
moral of my extremely long post...KEEP GOING!! It will be hard, you will have setbacks, you will get stuck, but you will over come them.....read on if you wan't :P
Wow!! I have not been able to say that in my adult life,..."I am not Obese". I've been obese since I was 18 years old. Obese for me is 171 pounds or higher (according to BMI charts). I know those aren't completely accurate, but they are still a good indicator. I was sooo excited on Wednesday when I weighed myself and I was 170.6! I wasn't obese!! But I didn't trust it not to be some strange fluctuation, so I weighed myself again yesterday...169.6!!! Then today I weighed myself...168.8!!! I think It's safe to say I am no longer obese, and not borderline not obese, just not obese!!
I still think I'm fat, and I am in comparison to what I could be, what i WILL be...but man that felt amazing!! It still does actually. I never believed this was possible for me. I knew it was physically possible, but mentally....that was the biggest problem. I couldn't stick with my motivation. This time isn't exactly easy either. I had a VERY bad week. After my last post of feeling like I was failing, I spiralled. I still went to the gym, but my workouts were slack. I ate whatever I wanted, and as much of it as I wanted on Friday, sat, sunday, monday. So you can probably imagine my surprise when the scale said I lost weight on wednesday. I'm not promoting eating unhealthily AT ALL. I now have to shrink my stomach again, and work on eating less because I'm still eating a lot. That's the hard part for me.
I went through 5 days where I was soo upset because I couldn't get below 171, and I felt like I was going to be obese forever. Then, Tuesday night...I drank water for the first time in 5 days!!! And guess what? Alll that water weight I had been holding on to...the reason the scale was fluctuating soo much....it alll went away. Granted I was up every few hours to pee, but it was worth it.
I even motivated my sister to start getting healthy. She's just starting, and she has to start slower than I because she's 100 pounds heavier and hasn't worked out in a LONG LONG time, but she's doing it and I am soo proud of her. Yesterday she walked 2/3 of university hill. That's not an easy walk. She stopped a few times, but she did it, and that's all that matters. All that matters is she's moving, she's trying. That inspires me to keep going and keep going harder. She doesn't know that, and if she sticks with it I will tell her before I leave for work for the summer.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
So I have a midterm tomorrow, a presentation tomorrow, a chapter to read on top of all my studying and prepping tonight. I still made time for the gym, and I'm going for a jog later tonight. Productive right? Somehow I feel like I'm failing. I lost 3 pounds this week. 174.6 last thursday to 171.6 this morning. Yet I ate HORRIBLY today. Cereal, banana, protein bar, pasta, cinnamon bun, and rice cakes and another half a cup of milk. I'm wayyy over my calories, even for netting - hence the run later. I did a 15 min (2 km) jog today, I did fit camp...I did weights. Somehow I feel like I'm failing.
I'm stronger, I'm faster, I have more stamina, I have better endurance. I lose 2-3 pounds a week, but this feels like the longest process EVER!!!!! I'm not even half way to my goal weight from where I started. I need to lose another 2.5 pounds for that...which I can do this week most likely, the way I've been going. I know lots of people that struggle to lose weight, so I kind of feel like a jerk for posting this, but seriously....I don't understand why I let myself get so fat!!! and I wasn't even at my heaviest when I started this. I was overweight, I knew I was obese...but I never really realized how far I let myself go until I started this. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate my results, I just feel like reaching my goal of 140 by september is going to be brutally hard, even if I do have a very active job this summer.
But at the end of the day I suppose being positive is what gets us through, so I'll push through the rest of this negative day and have a great workout tomorrow night at fit camp, and hopefully go for a jog tomorrow night. I like doing multiple workouts a day, it makes me feel more accomplished.
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