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Tossing and Turning

Monday, December 28, 2009

It is 2 am and I can't fall asleep. Granted, I did take a nap earlier in the day, but there are just way too many things on my mind. I am anxious about 2010. There are so many things I want to change or at least accomplish in the new year, but I am not really sure how to go about it. There are fitness and weight loss goals, goals for school, money, mental health... yada yada. I have read so many articles about not trying to accomplish too much at once because then you just feel extremely overwhelmed. Yet, how do I prioritize what I want to do?

I guess I just feel like there is SO many things I want to do , that I am going to revert back to my old ways and not do any of them. Such as emotional eating, not working out, procrastinating on homework and school... I just feel like it is easier not to do anything rather than try and do everything. But, that is not the attitude I want to have. I WANT to do something with my life and accomplish the goals and dreams that I have. But, I am just so overwhelmed and I have such bad anxiety about everything. There is this feeling in my stomach that if I don't do something, then I can't fail at it. But, I need to fail. I have failed and I have come a long way, but there is more work that needs to be done.

I guess I am just rambling and these are the things that sneak into my brain when it can't shut down and rest, which is what it needs to do. I have a fever which isn't good for me after the surgery and worrying about things doesn't help. Any suggestions?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDYHEART 12/29/2009 3:11PM

    The quote on today's Spark People home page fits your blog: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its empties today of its strength."--Aunt Linda

Take a breath and figure out the two or three you really want to focus on and tackle those and then move on. Good Luck to you this is NOT Easy but once you make a decision you'll sleep better. emoticon

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TRAVELNISTA 12/28/2009 7:24PM

    Just make a lit of your goals then put them in order of the importance to you. Now take a deep cleansing breath and then tackle one at a time. Just do it as Baby Steps doing one at a time till it becomes habit. Then you can go on to the next goal on your list. emoticon emoticon

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LISALYNN1960 12/28/2009 10:09AM

    Slow down woman!!! :)

Hope you got some rest and that your mind finally allowed you to sleep! It is my opinion that people are always put under so much pressure to set themselves up for failure every year at this time. Pick the ONE THING that you want to work really hard on for the first month of so of the new year. If you work consistently on one thing at a time then it has a better chance of becoming a habit. THEN you can choose something else to work on.

Your priority right now needs to be to heal and rest. You just had surgery!!!

Happy New Year and I wish you only the best!!!


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DAWNWINS 12/28/2009 5:31AM

    Yes, live in the moment today for tomorrow is not promised to us. I have found that writing out each goal, then breaking each one into smaller steps works for me. For instance, losing weight is one of my goals, the smaller steps are getting in the 6 cups of water, tracking my calories, and exercising. I have the water down to a habit, I get that in most days. The exercise, my goal is to do 30 minutes cardio every other day, I track this on the calendar in my workout room. This I fell off the wagon for a coupla weeks, getting back on today. The food tracker, I was doing well at that until the last few weeks. Well, Christmas is over so I am going back to those goals. As I was tracking calories, I challenged myself to find better alternatives to what I was eating. It seems one good habit leads to another. I have a long way to go myself, thought I would share what is working for me.
Have a great day!

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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Hey Everyone. I want to thank you all for your extremely sweet comments when I was heading into surgery. It was nice to read all of those when I was feeling competent again!

Well- I am feeling better! I have had a fever, but that is normal they say. I have been trying to get up and move around as much as possible, but it's not the easiest thing with bandaids and stitches in my stomach. I have working through the pain though, because I know that I can't just lay in bed until I am no longer in pain.

But, today was good. I stayed awake the whole day :D and even got to walk on the treadmill! Hopefully, I will back to my ole self soon, but I thank you all for your support and kind wishes. xoxox

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEOWMAMA3 12/27/2009 11:50PM

    Glad you're getting that ole pep back in your step! Follow doctor's orders!

When you get a chance look for my blogs about my new furbaby: Sparky. No new kitty toys here, I trip over enough of them as it is! I only buy soft ones for that very reason! emoticon

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QUEST4CHANGE 12/27/2009 5:41PM

  emoticonI'm so glad 2 hear u r on the mend! Laying low during recovery is so hard but setbacks suck, so don't push into pain, rest as needed & hope u'll be up & raring 2 go soonest!


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LISALYNN1960 12/27/2009 9:48AM

    Glad you are up and around! Thanks, too, for your comment on my blog. I appreciate the support.

Keep moving! Heal fast! :)


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Monday, December 21, 2009

So, I saw the surgeon today and he decided that my gallbladder needs to come... and it is coming out tomorrow!!! When he asked me when I had open, I was thinking the new year, but then he suggested tomorrow and jumped right on that opportunity!

I am sick of the pain, and I know that my christmas present this year is to be pain free! Plus, my mom said she would buy me a heating pad haha! So... I may be gone for a couple of days, but no worries. I will be back!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RANICOLE 12/26/2009 3:52PM

    Praying that you are recovering quickly and that you will have a pain free 2010!

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KPACE7 12/25/2009 9:22PM

    I hope all goes well. Have a great pain free Christmas!

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LADYJANE30 12/23/2009 7:43PM

    You will be pain free very soon. I had mine removed back in 1991 and I felt so much better afterwards. Unfortunately, like ALIENS88 said, it doesn't help in weight loss. Just take it easy for a couple of days and you'll be fine.


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MOM2FENCERS 12/23/2009 10:47AM

    We are praying for you as you recover from your surgery. emoticon

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LISALYNN1960 12/21/2009 6:31PM

    Will pray for your safe and quick recovery. What a Christmas present you are getting! Surgery!! LOL!

Take care and be sure to rest, rest, rest afterward. Let us know how you are doing.

Take care.


Merry Christmas!!!!!

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HAS_SPIRIT 12/21/2009 2:52PM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let us know how it goes. It will be great if you don't have any more pain, especially for the Holidays. Maybe everyone will wait on you and treat you like a Queen! Take Care. emoticon

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TIME2LIVE11 12/21/2009 12:02PM

    good luck suga! Hope you recover fast and you dont feel anymore pain after this! I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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ROCKIN_LIFE 12/21/2009 11:57AM

    Good luck! Too bad having gallbladder surgery doesn't help with weightloss!

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SWAL0701 12/21/2009 11:57AM

    I hope all goes well with your surgery and you are free from pain.

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Super Size Me

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Has anyone seen this movie?!?! I just watched it for the first time the other day and I have not been able to eat meat since. Everytime I look at chicken or beef, it makes me want to throw up. I even took a pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't just blaming it on something else! Ha!

But this movie was an eye opener for me. No, those girls should not have sued McDonald's for making them fat. It is common knowledge that fast food is unhealthy and should not be eaten every single day for every single meal. Then they showed me how they make the chicken nuggets..... Um. Yes, that is why I haven't been able to eat meat for a week. I think I will be changing my diet for the next couple of months.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIAD21 12/12/2009 2:24PM

    I loved this movie. I get that most people know not to eat fast food for every meal, but even the doctors were shocked at the damage it caused! I hardly ever ate fast food before this movie, but now I don't eat it all. emoticon

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Monday, December 07, 2009

Why do I keep eating even when I know I'm not hungry? Why do I keep eating when I have a stomachache? It just makes no sense to me. I had the worst stomachache today, but for some reason, I just kept shoving that popcorn in my face. Granted popcorn isn't too bad, but still I went way over my limit on the portion size.

I just don't understand that logic of it. I guess there is no logic of it and I was doing it to fill a need that I was having. But, I am not sure of what that need is or was.... probably because it was something I could control and I am in a sea of things I cannot control at the moment. I just keep spiraling into things that just get me more stressed out. No wonder the doctors thought I had an ulcer. I stress myself out so badly that I probably do have large gapping holes in the lining of my stomach.

Hopefully, I will be better when this semester is over, but the way things are looking, next semester is going to be worse. 5 classes, 2 jobs, and 3 pig roommates to clean up after. When do I say when? When do I stop doing this to myself and make a change? Right now, I just don't have the energy.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDYHEART 12/7/2009 10:01PM

    This is not an uncommon problem--try to take it a minute--day at a time---drink water and chew gum! Good Luck on those finals!

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QUEST4CHANGE 12/7/2009 9:34PM


i think going into finals is toughest! hang in!

if it's snack time, eat.

if it's not, maybe try getting up & dancing vigorously to a song or 2 on the radio to get your blood going & to refresh you :)

breaking the eat = stress (while doing paperwork was 1 of the toughest things I ever had to do b/c i munched all the way thru HS & college when studying. it was really a normal thing to do, we had air poppers for corn, ordered in pizza & all that.... totally get what u r saying! realizing it is the 1st step to being aware so you can make alternative plans & choices. u'll get thru this 2!!! :)

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JANNIEWANNIE 12/7/2009 9:26PM

    No wonder you are under stress. You are under a lot of pressure. Take a deep breath and focus on only one thing at a time. Really relax over your school break and focus on some changes then when your plate isn't so full. Hugs from Janet in central Illinois.

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RANICOLE 12/7/2009 10:18AM

    Also, remember to try and keep track of what you are eating. Sometimes seeing how much I am eating stops me in my track and I have to say enough is enough. I know that you can achieve your goals. Blessings. Nicole

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LISALYNN1960 12/7/2009 9:33AM

    School is tough! That is for sure. Many things over which you have no control. But, you do have control over your choices. Just keep telling yourself that! Control what you can and your stress level will decrease.

Saying a prayer for you RIGHT NOW!


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TRAVELNISTA 12/7/2009 6:49AM

    If you had to over eat something popcorn was not too bad. Tons of fiber and complex carbs, it will help move things along if you know what I mean.

I think we all eat out of stress. Try to stock up on healthy snacks when the urge hits.

I also think you need to sit your room mates down and have a chat with them. You are not their Mother or maid and should learn how to clean up after themselves. emoticon

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GOODGETNBETR 12/7/2009 12:55AM

    Good luck find the energy and courage to make that change! And you're not alone, we all have moments where we just keep going back for more, and we know it's too much. I think that's part of this journey, to figure out why and make those positive changes.

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WANDAC2013 12/7/2009 12:22AM

    emoticonSounds like someone needs some stress've got a lot on your plate (no pun intended)... is there anything you can realistically take off of that plate?...give it some thought...and don't continue to beat yourself up... emoticon

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IWILLREACHIT 12/7/2009 12:19AM

    Time to stop and breath!
Your stressed out...
Try going for a walk or
exercising. I know.. but
you will have more energy
if you do. Trust me!

Good luck, blessings~Linda

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