Sunday, March 06, 2011
I think that my weight loss journey is completely taking over my life and slowly turning into an obsession. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore because I completely despise what I see in the mirror. I compare myself to almost every person I see: my friends, people on tv, random people on the street.
I am starting to think that it is not healthy how much I think and obsess over my weight and my appearance. I know that eating right and exercise is the way to go, but at the same time, I don't do it. I think there are some underlying issues that I need to deal with before I can accept my body and be ok with where I am at this point in my life.
There are other things I need to be focusing on: school, my family, my boyfriend. If I could give half as much "mindtime" to those areas of my life, maybe I wouldn't be so extremely unhappy. I'm just not sure anymore.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So, I decided to stop the 5-day Inferno for the Turbofire program. I could feel my perfectionism starting to kick in. If I didn't follow a day exactly as it was planned out, I would derail and just eat whatever I wanted. As much as I like pre-planned menus, I know what I like and don't like and I know the types of nutrition I need.
Figuring that out last night, I decided to just go ahead and actually start the program as it was intended. So today was my first day with Turbofire! I did the Fire 30 Class and the Stretch 10 Class. I feel awesome. I have energy I didn't know I was capable of and I am not totally dreading going to work today (that may be because I don't work Fridays and Saturdays ;)
But, even though I know every day won't be like this, I can now look back to my first day and remember how it made me feel. I can do this. I know that I can and I thank everyone here for helping me get over that "depression" hump!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Well, today was my second day of my TurboFire workouts. It was pretty difficult, but I started to catch on toward the end. I feel like I need to put a sticker on my leg so I know which side I have already worked out!
Chalene Johnson is extremely motivating. I have bought other Beachbody workouts and this is by far my favorite at the moment. I also have P90X and Insanity. I feel like after Turbofire I may be at the fitness level to attempt those workouts, but right now, I am having fun with Chalene.
That is a first for me... I am having fun working out. I can't afford a gym membership anymore and Turbofire was a complete splurge from my income tax return. I am glad that I did it because I definitely need a change. I need the motivation to make that change and it doesn't hurt that I have a workout I look forward to doing.
I give myself a pat on the back for today :D
Thursday, February 17, 2011
It's a vicious cycle... weight loss that is. I am back at 190. My heaviest. It is disappointing to be at this weight and have none of my clothes fit. I had to go buy new jeans today. It is depressing.
I know, I am having a pity party. But, I am disappointed in myself. I know that I can work hard than I have been, but I keep making excuses. I think I am the excuse queen. Debbie Downer for sure!
I got TurboFire today because I watched the infomercial at least 30 times and got really excited about it. Hopefully, this workout regime will be one to get me jump started.
I guess the other thing is I have no support. I don't have many close friends and my family isn't supportive of me losing weight. That is why I am heading back to Sparkpeople. I know people here understand why I am going through and I know that with the support of everyone here, I can get down to my goal weight of 135.
Starting my workout regime tomorrow after I get all set up, I will check in again tomorrow. Hopefully, you guys can all hold me accountable.
"Winning isn't everything, but wanted to win is." -Vince Lombardi (GREEN BAY PACKERS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS :D )
Friday, December 17, 2010
I was up bright and early today (well 9 am is early for me ) but anyway I got on the treadmill and started out pretty good. I am a little rusty because I haven't actually worked out in a while. I was planning on getting in a good 4 miles today. After mile 1, my body was completely resisting the workout. I felt extremely tired and my heart was beating rapidly. I had to stop which frustrated me even more.
I know that I had to listen to my body which was telling me to stop, but my mind was telling me to keep going. That is completely the opposite of what usually happens! Ugh... I guess I will just have to try tomorrow.
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