Sunday, January 31, 2010
I got this idea from the ladies on the 50-pound challenge team. I thought it might be a good idea to see what I come up with when I answer these questions...
1. Write all the things you love about yourself (these reasons should apply at your current weight or at your goal weight) And you know what, if you have trouble bragging about yourself, just ask us Spark buddies and we will tell you some of the things we love about you!
Hm..... this is hard for me. Everything that I think about myself is completely negative. I am trying to work on changing that negative self-talk, but it doesn't just happen in a day. So, the things I love about myself.... my hair, my legs and butt. I am a good listener and friend. I am intelligent. Hm... that's about it. Ha.
2. Now that you realize all the positive things about yourself at no matter what weight you are, write down some things you know you could do better or for the first time after you lose the weight. Make these your goals. These are the reasons you want to lose weight. Whether its run a mile, play with your kids longer, or walk into a room and know your sexy.
I know that I can work harder at my weight loss. I am an excuse maker and that is what is bringing me down. I know that I feel amazing after I workout. The energy and endorphins pumping through my body after I run 3-miles is absolutely amazing, but yet when I am at home, contemplating if I really want to workout or not, there is always some excuse. I know that I need to work harder to get down to my goal weight. (125 lbs)
3. Give yourself a timeline. Don't be too hard on yourself, like six months is only a chunk of time if you consider that the average human lifespan is like 77yrs. Stop taking things so seriously and make it a game. Make it one challenge at a time, one month at a time. If you don't follow your timeline exactly, readjust, look back and figure out what areas could've been done better and try again! That's the most important, never give up!
I have given myself 8 months to lose a little over 50 pounds. That equals about 1.5 lbs a week, but I don't want to stress out if that doesn't happen. I need to take my time in order to keep this weight off once and for all.
Well, that did motivate me a little bit more, but it also made me realize that I have a lot of work to do on my self-esteem which makes me a little bit more depressed. It is all just a vicious cycle. Blah. Hm... I think I will go run 3 miles now. Ha.
Monday, January 25, 2010
The second chapter of The Spark really resonated with me after I read it. Someone once told me that the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. It really got me thinking about what my purpose is in life and also my deep values.
These were the questions Chris asked:
What truly drives you?
Is there a clash between what you really believe and what you're trying to accomplish?
Are you working each day toward something that really matters to you?
It made me realize that the past 5 years of my life have been a complete run-around. When I turned 18, I went off to college about 5 hours away from home. I was excited to move on with my life. I had always been a very goal-oriented child and teenager. I was a 4.0 student, captain of the swim team and soccer team, plus a member of the honor's society. I always knew that I wanted to do something better. In my own little way, I wanted to change the world.
But, when I left for college, something changed inside of me. I no longer was organized or goal oriented. I hated going to class, basically I hated school in general. I had an extremely hard time making friends, and I didn't get along with any of my roommates. After 2 years at the University of Minnesota, I moved home and worked for a year before attending school here in Madison, Wisconsin. But, up until today, I have just been going through to motions of life. I haven't had any real goals that I have been shooting for. Yes, weight loss is one of them, but I think I was just doing it because I thought I needed to.
My whole outlook has changed. I want to find that old Andrea. I want to find my purpose and work toward that goal. At this moment, there is no purpose, there is no goal. I want that back. I need to spend some time going over what I truly value and believe, what I want out of my life.
It is going to be a deep couple of days, but I will keep you all posted. xoxo!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
My boyfriend bought me the EA Active two days ago. I started it yesterday and decided to do the 30 Day Challenge that they offer. So far, I absolutely love it! In general, I hate strength training. My ADD is too bad to actually go to the gym and take the time out to work out each muscles of my body. The good thing about the EA Active is it tells me what to do! I don't have to plan what I need to workout, I am just going to follow the program and see what it says!
Today, I did some bicep curls, lunges, and some cardio running and tennis. I loved it. It kept me guessing what was coming next and it gave me something to strive for. Plus, I am sore! I did alternating shoulder presses and my shoulders are sore!! I like the feeling of knowing I did a good workout and I am doing something good for my body.
All in all- great investment. Plus, I just bought The Spark today! Super excited to read it! YAY!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I went to the gym today, feeling good that I actually got my butt there, but when I stepped on the scale, it had said I gained 5 pounds! 5 pounds!!! I knew that I had at least gained 1 or 2 because I had not been working out and really was not doing well with my eating plan. But 5 pounds?! I am not sure if that is right, but I have to be accountable to myself and say that I now weigh 173 and not 168 like I thought. That is the scale that I always use, so I suppose I will just stick to it.
I guess it just puts the icing on my cake. I am having one of those tumbleweeds days: where one bad things happens, and then another, and continues on and on and on and on. I got my medical bills for my gall bladder surgery, just about fainted. Got a 10 cent raise, but then looked at my medical bills again. And so on and so forth.
Maybe this sleep-deprivation is really starting to catch up to me. I try and try to sleep. I lay in bed for hours, then I get up and read or do homework to make me tired, but that doesn't work. I am just unsure of what to do anymore. I am being a Debbie Downer. I know and I am kicking myself in the butt simultaneously to writing this, but I just needing a venting session. I guess working harder, getting some sleep, and just keep on keeping on is my plan.
But 5 pounds?! Ugh.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I don't even have an excuse as to why I have not been sleeping. I get home from work at 9:00 in the morning and then I lay down, but I never actually fall into a deep sleep. Rather, a thrash around and have crazy dreams. Now these are not pleasant dreams, but rather horrific nightmares that get me all up in a bundle. I wake up sweating and terrified that my nightmare actually happened.
This is new. I have always been a good sleeper, ever since I was a baby (as my mom tells me! So much better than my brother ) So, I am not sure what to do. Maybe I should go see the Doc, but at the same time, all the Doc ever does it put me on meds and sleeping meds are the last thing I want to take.
Maybe something like yoga or meditation to get my body relaxed will help. All I know is need some sleep and I need it soon! It makes my days (and working out) hell!
Get An Email Alert Each Time TREA241 Posts