Friday, June 15, 2012
Hope you enjoy this email I received and smile. OR maybe it sounds a little like what you have gone through. To say the very least, trying on bathing suits can be very stressful.
When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job.
Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.
The mature woman has a choice, she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney's Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.
What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks. Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.
I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place I gasped in horror, my boobs had disappeared!
Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.
The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups.
The mature woman is now meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.
The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of Playdoh wearing undersized cling wrap.
As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, "Oh, there you are," she said, admiring the bathing suit.
I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece that gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.
I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.
I tried on a black number with a midriff fringe and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.
I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.
Finally, I found a suit that fit, it was a two-piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.
When I got it home, I found a label that read, "Material might become tansparent in water."
So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Unfortunately when it does I am in trouble. We have been having some pretty torrential rain storms with heavy winds. I walked into my home office last week to start my day and I looked up at the ceiling and saw 3 huge water stains. I 'm like what the heck?
When you are a single women getting estimates is a scary thing. There are so many contractors out there that are unscrupulous and scams abound. Being a woman you are more than likely to get taken advantage of.
I have been in the mortgage industry for over 30 years and I have learned a thing or two but I still need to be aware.
You have to be informed and you have to do your homework.
1. Don't take the 1st estimate quote. Interview at least 3 contractors and get your estimates in writing. A proper estimate should include a list of the materials needed, how many hours the job will take and what the contractor charges per hour, and how long the estimate is good for. Do not be pressured into making a decision on the spot.
2. Find out if the contractor has any complaints against them. Contact your States Consumer Affairs Division and your local Better Business Bureau.
3. Ask for references and then follow through and call them.
4. Ask to for a copy of his Contractor's license.
5. Ask for a copy of his insurance. It's important that a contractor has adequate liability, disability, and Worker's Compensation insurance
6. Make sure your Contractor obtains a building permit. Do not have the permit in your name. The contractor should get the permit and have it in the contractor's name. This lets the codes enforcement office help you make sure the contractor is licensed, insured or bonded, AND that the contractor is following the building code.
7. Be aware of things that could possibly mean you are dealing with a scam artist:
The contractor has an out-of-state license plate, only a toll-free phone number,
or only a post office box for an address. You should only do business with a
local company that will be around to fix anything that goes wrong.
The contractor’s truck does not have a company name on it.
The contractor can give you a good deal because he or she has materials left
over from another job. A good contractor knows how much material to buy and
will not have enough left over to do a job for someone else.
The contractor does not want to give you a written estimate or contract.
The contractor demands payment in cash.
The contractor wants you to pay for the entire job before work is finished.
8. Never pay more than 1/3 upfront to insure the work gets done and gets done properly.
9. Make sure you discuss "ground rules" with the contractor. "Ground rules" include preparatory work, when the work will begin and is expected to end, and how the work site will be maintained (how clean it will be left, removal of rubbish).
10. Job supervision. Determine who will supervise the job in order to ensure that the project is being done properly. Even if a foreman or the contractor is designated to supervise, you should keep a watchful eye on the contractor.
Find out if the person giving you the estimates does the work himself or contracts it out. You really want a company that uses his own crew. If he subs out then know that all subcontractors must maintain their own home improvement licenses. Electrical and plumbing work must be completed by licensed plumbers and electricians (check with the Department of Consumer Protection for information about plumbers and electricians).
Do your homework because this may be one of the most important things you will have to research!
Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, June 08, 2012
I thought this was neat. Great way to unwind watching and listening, let's just say it has been quite a hectic week which is why I have been so scarce on Spark people.
Friday, June 01, 2012
Here's some fun just for us girls... DON'T read ahead, please, or it'll spoil the fun.
Ladies Only... Which Movie Star Are You?
Ever wonder which movie star you are most like?
Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of movie stars. The info has been incorporated into this quiz.
There are only 10 questions so it doesn't take long. Number your paper from 1 to 10, then answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, and then add up the points that correspond with your answers.
1. Which describes your perfect date?
A) Candlelight dinner for two
B) Amusement Park
C) Roller blading in the park
D) Rock Concert
E) Have dinner & see a movie
F) Dinner at home with a loved one
2. What is your favorite type of music?
A) Rock and Roll
C) Soft Rock
3. What is your favorite type of movie?
F ) Mystery
4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices?
B) Sports Player
F) Business person
5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?
A) Work out
B) Make out
C) Watch TV
D) Listen to the radio
6. Of the following colors, which do you like best?
C) Sky blue
7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?
A) Ice cream a
C ) Sushi
F) Lobster Tail
8. Which is your favorite holiday?
C) New Year's
D) Valentine's Day
F) Fourth of July
9 If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?
C) Las Vegas
F) British Columbia
10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
A) Someone who is smart
B) Someone with good looks
C) Someone who is a party animal
D) Someone who has fun all the time
E) Someone who is very emotional
F) Someone who is fun to be with
Now total up your points on each question:
1 a-4; b-2; c-5; d-1; e-3; f-6
2. A-2; b-1; c-4; d-5; e-3; f-6
3. A-2; b-1; c-3; d-4; e-5; f-6
4.. A-4; b-5; c-3; d-2; e-1; f-6
5. A-5; b-4; c-2; d-1; e-3; f-6
6. A-1; b-5; c-3; d-2; e-4; f-6
7. A-3; b-2; c-1; d-4; e-5; f-6
8. A-1; b-3; c-2; d-4; e-5; f -6
9. A-4; b-5; c-1; d-4; e-3; f-6
10. A-5; b-2; c-1; d-3; e-4; f-6
NOW . Take your total and find out which Movie Star you are:
(10-17 points) You are MADONNA:
You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life . People don't always see things your way, but that doesn't mean that you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others.
(18-26 points) You are DORIS DAY:
You are fun, friendly, and popular! You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are very important to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray..
(27-34 points) You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS:
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free.
(35-42 points) You are GRACE KELLY:
You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments and are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.
(43-50 points) You are KATHERINE HEPBURN:
You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You don't take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider 'real friends'. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don't overlook a bad situation when it does happen.
(51-60 points) You are ELIZABETH TAYLOR:
Everyone is in awe of you. You know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you know what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say something it is money in the bank. You attract the opposite sex. Your intelligence overwhelms most. Your memory is the next thing to photographic. Everyone admires you because you are so considerate and lovable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right.
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