Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Compared to the people who amaze me and inspire me on here, my weight loss is small by comparison. And that's ok. That's WHY they inspire me so much. They have lost what I WANT to lose. But I will never see those sorts of losses if I don't first lose 1lb. Then another and it all snowballs into 100lbs lost, 150lbs lost, 200lbs lost. So even though I'm no where near my goal, this weight loss has really taught me a lot about myself.
First, I want to say that I've never lost this much weight in my life. On all the diets I'd been on before, NOTHING has triggered such an amazing amount of weight loss as simply changing my mind and my lifestyle. This is no diet. This isn't some fly by night fad. This is it. This is my last rodeo. This is how I'm going to eat for the rest of my life. So I'm really going to have to do things that I can live with. Some things I didn't want to change, like giving up dairy or burgers AND fries at the same time. BUT my body apparently can no longer digest any dairy anymore, and it struggles with higher carb loads. And it isn't like I'm low carbing it either. I'm not doing an atkins or south beach or anything that promotes zero carbs for a time, then slow reintroduction. No, I'm eating between 120-205g/day. So if I have the carb allotment for a cookie. I'm totally going to eat that cookie. IF that's what I'm craving. Otherwise it's a matter of figuring out what I can have in combination with other foods.
I'm also learning to move my body and to enjoy it's movement. This one is still a struggle for me. I'm lazy by nature (meaning that I don't want to walk or lift weights or exercise, I'd rather sit and watch tv or play on the computer or read a book!) But I can't do that. My body NEEDS movement! My body NEEDS stimulation! My heart needs to race for more than scary parts in movies. My muscles NEED to be engaged in some sort of struggle. My bones NEED my muscles to be strong because they are only going to be getting weaker.
I've also come to the realization that being thin isn't my goal. Being just healthy isn't my goal. I want to be FIT. I want to PERFORM. I want to EXCELL. I want my son to be proud to call me Mom. Being an older mom ( I was 33 when I had him), I have to face the fact that I'm going to be 51 when he graduates from high school. I'm going to be 60 or better when he has kids. (most likely!) And if I'm going to enjoy my grandbabies, I have to take care of me NOW. I have to love me NOW. I have to start taking care of this one vessel that God has given to me.
So, really I'm glad and happy and proud about my 40lbs. But they've only started a fire burning in my belly to add to them. :D So here's to the next 170lbs :D Because I KNOW that I can do this. I've already done the hardest part. I started...
Saturday, September 21, 2013
I had my doctors visit on the 16th. According to his scales I only lost 10lbs for the month, but he's ecstatic with the weight loss. So much so we're putting off putting me on metformin. He wants me to continue on the diabetic diet and meet up again in mid-December. The day before my visit he wants me to come in and do some fasting blood work done so he can compare with what I gave him last month. So that would be 4 months on this diet. IF my fasting insulin comes down, ROCK ON! And he's also going to test my A1C levels. He wants to see if those numbers are also good on this diet. If both those numbers are good, no metformin for me! Just a diabetic diet for life. If those numbers aren't good, then he's going to try me on extended release metformin because of all the vomiting I do on regular metformin.
So, I'm turning into the little engine that could! :D
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
I've lost almost 20lbs since the beginning of August. That's fairly quick weightloss. Ok, scratch that...it IS quick weight loss. But I do have quite a bit to lose. I have just under 200lbs now to lose. WHOOHOO! I'm so happy to be under that number. Speaking of numbers though. I find that I'm upset if I only lose 2 or 3lbs in a week. I eat well. I eat a lot of veggies and if I snack it's almost always a fruit. I've cut my sweets consumption to just a few a week. And by few I'm counting 1 oreo as an entire sweet. Not the two that's recommended in the package or a whole row in THAT package or the package itself. (see this USED to be me) I'm trying to be mindful of what I'm putting into my mouth and how it is going to affect my body and weight loss. I also do SOMETHING every day as far as exercise. I either walk 40 minutes around my neighborhood, or I do Wii Boxing for 20 minutes AND a Chris Powell DVD for 15 for a total of 35 minutes. Or I'll pop in my WATP dvd and do it for 45-60. And this is every day. Now, I'm not super quick. I'm not very agile. I huff and puff and about DIE during some of these moves. And they are truly NOT hard moves. But I'm THAT out of shape. But I'm doing them. Yet, the scale isn't moving much. And that's ok. I'm not going to stop. Right now, I'm going to do them until they get easy, then I'll move up the intensity until IT becomes easy. So long as the scale keeps creeping down, I will be satisfied.
I realized though that since I'm on a journey of better health, there are a myriad of other markers that I'm going to have to pay attention to. YES, the scale because of the sheer amount of extra weight I'm carrying. BUT, inches across my body, how my clothes fit, how much more distance I can cover and how fast I can cover it, how easy those killing moves are becoming, how strong I am becoming, how my seat belt fits, and how my body feels in general. I have to keep these things in mind or I'm going to get bogged down by that number on the scale. The scale doesn't determine just how fit I'm getting.
And it doesn't for anyone else either. It's a marker, just like the measuring tape, but they PALE compared to blood pressure, blood sugar, beating your own personal best time, pushing yourself just a little harder and doing it with EASE, running that race you NEVER thought you could RUN because walking hurt too bad, or any other benchmark in this journey to health that we're on.
I'm in it to win it, how about you?
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
I've been listening a lot lately to the words that come out of my mouth. I've also been paying attention to the words that others on Sparkpeople or other places type. There's lots of "hope" and "try" and "want to" and "going to". And these are great words, don't get me wrong. I love these words. And they have their place. But in the case of losing weight. Do I "HOPE" to lose weight? Sure. But I'm not HOPING, I AM. I'm not GOING to work out, I WILL work out.
Saying "I am losing weight BECAUSE I eat healthy" sounds a LOT different than saying "I'm eating healthy to lose weight." Of course I'm on a weight loss journey. But most importantly, I'm on getting healthier journey. That involves losing weight, but most importantly, it's eating for MY body, and moving for MY body. In my quest to get healthier, weight is coming off. That's what's happening. It also gives it a sense of permanence. Saying I'm eating healthy to lose weight, seems as though I'll stop doing that as soon as the weight comes off. Nah, not happenin this time, Jack. This time, I'm making a completely life change. There are things I can no longer put into my body. There's entire volumes of food that I cannot consume because it created this heavy, unhealthy version of myself.
So, really think about your words. They are very telling in your story. Just saying them differently and with purpose can change your entire outlook. This world is amazing, it's time to explore it NOW. No more going to, or want to, or when x is perfect, it'll be awesome. It's awesome NOW! Go out, LIVE life, LOVE yourself, and LAUGH at random stuff that no one else sees!
Friday, September 06, 2013
Every other time, I'd start a "diet", I'd go with gusto. I'd be so gung ho for a couple of weeks. I'd try to fit my eating habits into whatever diet I was doing and try to make it work. I would continue with the portion distortion and I'd try very hard to keep doing what I was doing and create a good change. This is a guaranteed FAIL situation. And when I'd have a day where I fudged. I'd continue to fudge and the next day I'd get up swear it was a different day, but continue to fail until I said forget it and quit entirely. Though granted I'd pick up good habits along the way. Like drinking lots of water. Or eating a more whole foods diet, etc.
Yesterday was a fail day. I consider it a fail day because I over ate, I under-ate my veggies and fruits. I WAY went over my carbs (have to eat diabetic diet as per doctor!), and in general was lazy and just didn't do what I should have. But today, I don't feel like beating myself up and throwing in the towel. YES, I messed up. EVERYONE does. And I've been telling myself every day that Today, I begin my journey! So, today, I'm beginning again. I am going to keep on trucking down the road until I get to Healthy-ville and I'm going to reap the rewards of creating a life of longevity and good health. My son is going to reap those benefits as well. Because he'll see that he has a mother that values health and values long life. My family will reap the benefits because I'll be around longer to love them and be there for them. (also, those that live with me will reap because I'm cooking healthier foods for all of us!)
So, yeah...then today would be full of donuts and soda and chips, but now I'm having my usual breakfast of eggs and fruit. I'm back to measuring and logging. :) So all in all, today has been a MARVELOUS day. :D
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